by D. E. Morris
Jaryn inhaled, thoughtful, and shook his head. “Just be vigilant and observant. If someone is acting odd, saying or doing things that don't add up, bring it to Cai if Killian isn't here, or directly to Ashlynn or myself.” The younger man nodded, and Jaryn gave a wry smile. “You said you wanted to be part of something great, I bet you didn't know what you were getting yourself into by coming here.”
“I wouldn't trade it for the world, Your Majesty. Not a second of it.”
There was a bare honesty about Niam that Jaryn had sensed from the beginning that was evident in him now, and it made him nod. “We need more men like you.”
For the first time, Niam bowed his head in a rare moment of embarrassment. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
“All right, get out of here, the both of you. We all have work to do,”
Niam opened the door, letting Cailin and Jaryn exit before following them out. “I have to find Connor,” she grumbled. “Have you seen him? He was supposed to check in with me and I haven't seen him all morning.”
Jaryn shook his head. “Sorry, no.”
“That boy...” They parted ways, moving toward their originally intended destinations, but before they could get too far, Cailin stopped and called over her shoulder, “You haven't heard from Wessely, have you?”
Once more, Jaryn had to shake his head, but this answer was harder to give. “Don't worry, though. He has some of our best men with him. I'm sure he's safe.”
Cailin forced her best smile and nodded before turning around and continuing on with Niam once more.
Connor, in fact, was on the opposite side of the castle, looking for someone himself, and it was not either Cailin or Niam. After asking Ashlynn for her blessing, he'd retreated back inside and locked himself in his quarters to work out exactly how he was going to propose to Lilia. There had been several times that night below the village in the tunnels of the Keepers that Connor wondered if either he or Lilia would make it out alive. Even once they found safety in the forest and were running for their lives, there were fearful moments when reaching home felt like little more than an unattainable goal. In those moments, regret settled heavily upon him in knowing he'd never been able to express to Lilia exactly how much she meant to him and that he had every intention of marrying her someday. Having survived what they had, he knew waiting only meant chancing the loss of opportunity to make her his wife.
He tried to think of some grand gesture, something over the top and showy knowing it would be exactly to her tastes. Never one to shy away from attention himself, Connor knew the more people he could get involved, the better, but everything he came up with fell apart and he ran out of patience with himself fairly quickly. It wasn't long at all after he hid himself away that he decided just to seek her out and let the words come as they would. He could make something up on the spot that would sweep her off her feet, surely. His excitement and zeal sent him forth on his mission.
It lasted until his frustration at being unable to find her in the maze of the castle halls beat out his enthusiasm. When he started having to dodge seeing Niam and Cailin, what was once exhilaration slowly turned into irritation until finally, he caught a glimpse of colorful feathers disappearing down the end of a hallway he had just turned to enter himself. Calling Lilia's name made her double back and peer around the corner with raised, curious brows. Upon seeing Connor, she left the company of the ladies she kept to join him. “I have been looking all over for you,” he huffed.
Seemingly unaffected by his displeasure, she grimaced and looked back the way from which he had come. “Have you seen Vala? She was outside with me not long ago and all of a sudden, it's like she's disappeared.”
Connor's face twisted in confusion. “What? No, Lilia, listen to me. I don't care where Vala is. I wanted to talk to you and now that I am standing here before you, I'm actually glad we're alone.”
Lilia's eyes roamed, distracted. “Where can that girl have gotten to?”
He grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him. “Can you focus for a second here?”
It was her turn to be annoyed. “Connor, I need to find Vala.”
“And I need you to listen to me. I'm trying to do something important if you'll just give me a chance. When I met you five years ago, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Even though the first thing you said to me was pretty much an insult, I think I fell in love with you right from the start. Maybe it was because of that, I don't know. I just knew you were different and that you were going to be someone special in my life.”
“Connor, this is all very sweet, but-”
“You maddening...” He groaned and let her go to scrub a hand over his face. “I'm trying to propose to you!”
“What?” She took a step back from him, eyes round. “No you're not.”
“Apparently I'm not because you won't let me even get the words out.”
“Connor!” Launching herself at him, Lilia threw her arms around his neck with a squeal. “Are you really?”
“Yes.” His arms encircled her waist, his frustration melting away at her embrace and joy. “I know we live very different lives, especially now. I'm prince pulling double duty as a Keeper. That's likely going to mean traveling a lot and I've had this dream for the past few years of me and Nyx making a home on Dragonspire. You're a high queen's lady who's used to the finer things in life, someone who is fond of predictability and minimal changes.”
She pulled back enough to be able to look into his face but kept her arms linked around his neck. “That may have been true at one point in my life, but not as true as it used to be, not since Cieria.”
“You'll get to be a princess if you marry me.”
Her lips curled into a pout. “Now I almost wish you hadn't given up the crown to your sister. I've always wanted to be a queen...High Queen would have been better...” Teasing, she broke into a smile. “Princess Lilia does have a lovely ring to it, however.” She kissed him, but quickly pulled back, her expression growing serious. “I want to take my responsibilities as a Keeper seriously, too. After all that we have seen and been through, this mark I bear carries so much more significance than it ever did before. Whether that means I need to stay here in the castle to protect those that I love with Gaelic blood or it requires me to be a little more flexible, I'm willing to try to be open to wherever the Giver deems to send me.”
“Even if it's back to Cieria?”
Lilia was quiet as she thought about it but eventually nodded. “Even there. I want to go wherever He wants me and where I can be of most use. Someday I would like to go back, if only to pay my respects to Gerwyn's family.”
“I think that would be a good idea.”
“Connor McKane!”
He flinched, ducking his head at the use of his full name. Cailin's uneven pace, heavy and angry, gave her away before either of them even turned to see who was shouting. The pair split and Connor, feeling much like the little boy who had just been caught doing something he shouldn't, couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye as she tromped down the hall toward him, his face burning. “Cailin! Just the woman I was looking for.” He glanced about, knowing they were alone but fearful her outburst had drawn unwanted attention. “I am a prince, Cai,” he whispered fiercely. “You can't go around hollering at me like I'm just another one of your knights!”
“That's exactly what you are when you are here,” she stormed, not half as quiet as he, her accent always thicker when she was angry. “Killian told you to report directly to me this morning, did he not? Don't even bother to answer that because I know he did. For the past hour or so, I've been walking around this bloody castle looking for your sorry arse when I should have been doing my job – when we both should have been doing our jobs – looking for someone else.”
“Language,” he chided in an effort to be funny. It only made a vein in her neck throb. Connor swallowed. “In all honesty, I do want to talk to you about something. There's an idea I've had brewing since I've been
in Cieria, I even started sketching out ideas to show to Niam but they got left behind. It would be great if I could talk to him, too.”
Something he said only added to her smoldering temper but she was fighting to rein it in. “Say goodbye to your girlfriend and let's get moving.”
He grinned and turned to Lilia, taking her hand. “Actually, as of just a minute ago, we're engaged.”
Lilia mirrored his joy and Cailin, watching the pair had a sudden and almost immediate change in demeanor. She inhaled as a wide smile split her face, her eyes lighting up in absolute excitement. Bringing her hands up under her chin, she squealed, “Really?” In another dramatic change, she was deadly serious once more, anger right back in place with her ire focused on Connor. “I don't care. You have a job to do. By agreeing to fall under Killian's command and mine for the time being, you agreed to put duty before your personal life. It's what we all have to do.”
“I know, but-”
“There are no buts, Connor. You're either in or you're out.” Her eyes slid to Lilia, flicking down to her wrist for a second before settling on her face once more. “The same goes for you. You're not just a queen's lady anymore. Both of you are part of something so much bigger. I'm not trying to take this moment away from you, really, I'm not, but you have to understand that sacrifices must be made. This could have waited. I know it doesn't feel like it could have, like everything feels dire and urgent, and you're in love, and everything needs to happen right away, but our first loyalties are to those whom we have sworn to protect, not our hearts.” She paused to swallow, some unspoken thing making her glance toward the window. After a moment, she looked down and gave a quiet sigh. “Come on. We have work to do.”
Connor squeezed Lilia's hand, a regretful smile on his face. “I'll find you later.”
Lilia nodded, then looked to Cailin. “For the record, I'm in.”
“Me, too,” echoed Connor.
Cailin nodded. “Good. Then make sure your actions back up your words.” With a challenging lift of a brow to Connor, she said, “Let's go.”
~*~*~*~
Mairead passed the morning hours alone in her chambers. After spending every moment both waking and asleep in the company of other people since she'd left Siness two weeks ago, she needed the time to simply be by herself. In the silence of her own familiar surroundings she could hear herself think for once. She could begin to sort through all of the information she'd begun to learn even from the moment she and the rest of the group had landed in the Alybaenean forest. She allowed the servants in to help her dress and get ready for the day, but did not even leave her quarters for breakfast or to see the others off. Instead, she took her meal alone in her room so as to be undisturbed while she wrote down everything she remembered, stacking every note and errant thought into piles to be sorted and categorized later. Nothing could be lost or forgotten, not even the smallest detail, not when it could be those very things that might help them win the day in the end.
Though sleep came easier than it had before and she'd woken feeling rested and alert, after writing for hours, she once more felt depleted and drained. The knock that came to her door came as both a relief and something she'd been dreading at the same time. The sun was not yet high enough to be noon, making her wonder if it was Niam. They needed to have a conversation but she was not ready, not yet. Still, she couldn't ignore him if he had come calling. Rising from her desk and the letter she'd just finished writing to her family, her brief reprieve from all her notes, she braced herself for the expectant face she would see on the other side of her door and pulled it open. The man before her was not the one she had been expecting to see, and she blinked her surprise. “Elas?”
He gave her a stiff smile. “You weren't at the sendoff this morning and no one else has seen you about. I wanted to make sure you were all right, especially after your comment last night.”
Touched, despite his standoffish demeanor, Mairead nodded. “I am, thank you. I simply needed some time alone. Of all people in the castle, I assume you would understand that best.”
He gave an emphatic nod. “Oh, yes. I most definitely understand the need to be away from people. On a daily basis. Usually only after a few minutes of being around them.” She laughed softly and he crossed his arms. “I don't suppose you'd want to take a walk with me then.”
Brows twitching together, Mairead regarded him with bemusement for a moment before glancing over her shoulder. “Actually, I have a letter I need to bring to the messengers if you would not mind accompanying me there.”
“Sounds good to me.”
She held up a finger to indicate she needed a moment longer, then turned back for her room. The door was left open so he could see her as she quickly finished her letter, signing her name with a flourish. Once the parchment was folded, she melted a bit of red wax to seal it shut before pressing the household seal into it. Satisfied that the wax was set, she joined Elas in the hall and closed her door behind herself. They walked side by side, saying nothing for quite some time. Everyone they would pass, Mairead would acknowledge with a polite smile or a bow of her head if they caught her eye first, whereas Elas made no effort whatsoever to be cordial or sociable, even with her.
The day was bright and clear, the humidity long since burned away, and she looked out the windows they passed without feeling any pressure to start a conversation with her strolling companion. After all, he was the one who asked her to take a walk. If there was something he wanted to speak with her about, he was the one who needed to bring it up. She was perfectly content to spend the duration of their journey in silence if that was what he so chose.
They made it all the way to the west wing where the messengers were housed before Elas finally grew uncomfortable enough to speak, though his gruff tone suggested he was forcing himself to do so and his subject matter was questionable. “I can't help but notice that there have been several men to have glanced your way since we've started walking.”
Mairead casually looked back to see two men indeed were following her with their gazes, but she dismissed it when she turned back around with a shake of her head. “All of them are the same men that either looked away when they saw me coming before or ignored my existence all together. I would never want a man that loved only pretty things. Beauty fades and usually hides something ugly beneath.” She flinched at her own words and looked down, a pain in her heart at the double-edged blade of what she'd said. Derog had spoken those very same words the night she and Lilia had met him, and her own beauty was false, hiding scars that were still real.
“What about Niam?”
“I would rather not discuss Niam,” she replied softly.
Elas looked sideways at her, concern in his blue eyes. “Mairead, what happened down there?”
She didn't answer. When the silence fell upon them again, it was her choice to keep it that way. Walls of defense and self-preservation erected themselves around her so quickly that she didn't have time to stop them, but they felt safe and familiar, and so she didn't fight them. There was no point in talking about Niam when she had no answers to the questions Elas would surely ask. She'd been asking them of herself: Did she love him as he professed to love her? Did she see a future with him? Did she betray him? Did she even deserve him? So many questions and not enough answers.
They reached the rooms where the Volarim messengers lived and Mairead handed her letter over, giving detailed instructions as to where her family could be found in a smaller kingdom east of Altaine. On the way back, she felt the strain between herself and Elas, and inwardly scolded herself for making things so uncomfortable. In an effort to lighten the mood, she tried to smile and said, “As glad as I am of your company for my walk across the castle, I cannot help but wonder why you chose me to walk with instead of your wife. Surely the two of you would have more to talk about.”
He watched his feet as he walked, his mood darkening. For a time, it seemed as though he would be the one to resume the silence, but then he did speak, qu
ietly and carefully so as not to be overheard by anyone that might be passing or loitering about. “Something happened,” he admitted, “when you were in Cieria. Factoring in when Lochlainn said he felt what he felt, I'm guessing it was when you fell into your trance.”
A mixture of excitement and fear raced through her, but Mairead kept her features neutral as she nodded, her voice even when she asked, “What did you feel?”
“I guess it isn't so much what I felt at first, but what I saw. A woman came to me...someone I've never seen before in my life...but she spoke to me like she knew me, like she's known me from the day I was born. She told me that something was going to happen to you soon, that I needed to protect you just as you needed to protect me – that we're kindred. Then I felt this...this...surge of power, and I blacked out.”
Mairead said nothing as they passed a group of people having a quiet conversation of their own, giving her time to try to process the information, but nothing added up. There had been a man in her vision, if that was what it had been, and he'd said nothing at all about Elas or protecting anyone. “What do you think it all means?” she asked when they were finally well enough away from everyone else. “Did you see or feel anything when you lost consciousness?”
“No, I was completely out of it. When I came to, I had a headache like I haven't had since I was younger and went drinking with my brothers, but that was it.”
She focused on her feet and counted her steps in an effort to calm her racing thoughts. Questions were piling up by the hour and no answers had yet been given, and her anxiety was climbing higher and higher. She wasn't stupid. She'd come to some of her own conclusions, none of which were appealing at all and terrified her a great deal. After all, there was only so much to be drawn from a vision where one summoned fyre and two established Elementals reacted as though it was surprising, but not all together shocking. They were operating under the belief, after all, that six more Elementals still existed, that Merrik was in fact one of them. There had been a very clear moment the first time she and Elas touched when something raw and powerful passed between them that neither had been able to explain.