by Geneva Lee
Clara looked at me apprehensively. I wondered how long it would be before she trusted someone to touch her. All I could do was reassure her that I was here. “It’s okay.”
She nodded, starting to push up onto the bed.
“Don’t bother,” Thompson stopped her. “You look like you’ve found a position you like. Stool please.”
I was in a daze. This was happening so fast, unlike last time. I slid a stool to Thompson who settled on it like she was about to read the morning paper. Belle and I exchanged glances while Thompson checked the situation.
How far did we allow this to go? If Clara needed an intervention, did either of us have the heart to tell her?
“You are ready to have this baby,” Thompson said warmly. “Would you mind if a nurse joined us? Someone I trust?”
She seemed to understand that something out of the ordinary was happening, but rather than take control she was allowing Clara to retain it.
I think we’d found our new family physician.
“Yes,” Clara groaned.
“Good, because we’re going to need all hands on deck. Would you mind calling for Gillian?” Thompson asked Belle.
Belle did as she was told, her face a mixture of apprehension and excitement. Only a few hours ago, we weren’t certain we would ever see Clara again. Now we were about to witness her giving birth.
“We have a neonatal surgeon prepared. Once the cord is cut, we’ll need to administer some medications to keep the baby’s valve open until we can have surgery.” She spoke directly to Clara, laying out each step as she spoke and erasing any room for doubt or fear. “We don’t have to cut the cord right away. We’ll let you decide.”
“You can do that?” I said, slightly awe-struck. Thompson shot me a look that said I was out of my league.
“Yes, for hours. When she’s ready, we’ll take the next steps,” she said pointedly.
I couldn’t imagine what trauma the doctor suspected Clara had endured, but she was here for her and seemed intent to make that clear.
“But for now, I think you’re ready to meet your baby.” Thompson turned back to Clara, not bothering to order her onto the bed.
Everything happened in a haze. Clara moved and swayed and moaned. She clung to me, drinking in as much love as I could give her as she worked to bring our child into the world, and then she did it.
He was here.
Chapter 25
CLARA
Life changed in an instant. One minute I was ready to tell Alexander that if he even looked at me again I would neuter him, and the next I was clutching a beautiful baby boy. I waited for him to scream, noting with alarm that he was slightly blue and then he opened his mouth and yowled.
Instinct took over, and I brought the baby to my breast as the others helped me into the bed I’d wanted nothing to do with for the last hour. I was suddenly grateful for its existence.
Alexander moved beside me, leaning closer but still keeping his distance. It was oddly shy of him, considering he usually couldn’t keep his hands off me.
“Come meet your son,” I said softly, adjusting the baby to keep him close while giving his father a better view.
“Hello there, little prince,” Alexander whispered. He stared in awe at the miracle we’d been given.
Hours ago, I couldn’t have imagined this gift. I’d thought I would never hold my child. I’d thought Alexander would never meet him. Now we were here—together and complete.
“Elizabeth!” In all of the chaos, I hadn’t thought to send for our daughter.
“Shh!” Alexander brushed a lock of hair from my forehead. “She’s on her way. Georgia and Brex went to get her.”
I had no idea how he’d had the presence of mind to handle all of this, but my man—my strong, capable man—had rolled with every punch and fought beside me. Rawness coated my throat and I blinked against the heat prickling my eyes.
Too late.
It was all too much. It was everything I ever wanted.
“Everything’s okay. She’s coming,” Alexander said, trying to reassure me. He’d mistaken my tears for something else. Guilt? Fear?
Or maybe he hadn’t. Even as joy filled me, a dozen new sensations crowded inside me as well. The events of the last few days suddenly hit me. I’d been so focused on keeping my cool and staying alive that I’d never really allowed myself to give in to the fear or hopelessness. Now it hit me like a delayed-release capsule.
“There are things I need to tell you,” I choked out as the tears began to flow freely. “You need to know what they did. You need to know…”
I couldn’t bring myself to begin. Alexander cast a dark look at Dr. Thompson who was busy wrapping up the final birthing issues. Belle, who’d faded into the background, came near, drawn by my words.
I looked to my best friend, wondering how I could tell her what had happened—who had betrayed us.
“Belle, I need to speak to Edward…” I blubbered, becoming incoherent half-way through. I couldn’t talk to him. Not now.
“He’ll be here,” she said automatically, even as confusion dashed over her face. “I’ll go get him.”
“Not yet,” I stopped her. “We need some time.”
“Okay.” She smiled, but I noted she hadn’t come closer. Was I acting like a crazy person? “Do you mind if I update the others?”
“Please.” Alexander nodded, his attention staying on me.
“I’ll give you two a few minutes.” She hesitated mid-turn. “Call if you need me.”
As soon as she was out the door, the dam burst. Up until this moment, I hadn’t considered how my story was going to hurt the people in my life. “X, I have to tell you…who…”
“It can wait, poppet,” he murmured. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder—an anchor to remind that he was here. I had nothing to fear.
But it wasn’t just about what they’d done. No one knew the extent of the havoc they’d wreaked.
No one knew their plan.
No one knew about David.
Cold suspicion broke over me as the nurse tried to come over for the baby. Would they have just let me go? What if this was their back-up plan? What if the moment I handed him over, they planned to whisk him away?
Dr. Rolland hadn’t come when called, which was smart. Regardless of the bullshit excuse that he only cared about the baby, that man was never going near my child. But could MI-18 find another doctor? Their whole plan was built around taking him from us.
“I just need to perform a few tests, ma’am,” the nurse said with a syrupy smile.
I held him away as my body began to shake.
“Is she okay?” Alexander asked in alarm as the tremors grew worse.
“It’s completely normal,” Dr. Thompson assured him. “Her body’s endured a lot. Let’s get her wrapped up.”
“And the baby?” Alexander’s eyes darted to me.
“He’s looking fine to me. I heard his lungs.” Thompson chuckled as she unfolded a blanket and eased it around me. “We can clean him up in a bit. I will need to administer some medicine and listen to his heart, Clara. But you may hold him.”
“But he needs surgery,” I whispered. I knew I couldn’t keep him in my arms forever. It was the painful truth of being a mother: eventually you had to let your child go. But this wasn’t a simple matter of not being ready. No one realized the danger he might be in.
“Yes,” Thompson said slowly, “but we don’t need to rush. This time is important for both of you. When the neonatal surgeon arrives, we’ll discuss the next steps. For now, take some time getting to know your son.”
A weight lifted off my shoulders, but I couldn’t quite ignore the dread still lingering inside me. I was delaying the inevitable. I wouldn’t be able to keep him with me. Still, he was here now and that was enough.
Alexander sat carefully on the edge of the bed and reached a tentative hand towards him.
“Go on, X,” I urged him. I appreciated his cautious respect, but he was
the only person I didn’t mind touching our son.
“Change your mind on the name?” he asked, brushing the baby’s cheek with reverence.
“Not unless you have.” An unexpected bubble of laughter burst out of me. I’d gone from sobbing to laughing in the pan of a minute. I was losing my mind.
“Then hello there, William.” Alexander’s hand cupped his head and the baby turned slightly like he liked the attention before returning to my breast.
“Now we only have twenty more to choose from,” I said dryly. As soon as I spoke my good mood evaporated. We’d discussed the baby’s middle names and how to best pay tribute to the other men of our family. Now I couldn’t bear thinking of those names and all the sorrow that accompanied them.
Albert. The man who’d given his life to save his son’s, but left a complicated web behind him. The man who had made me feel small and little and unwanted. The man who might have been protecting us from this all along. Could I allow my son to carry that moniker? Could I handle its weight?
Edward. The brother I’d never had. My best friend. My confidant. The best of us. He was the person I’d most wanted to honor, but now it hurt to think of him. Not because my feelings toward him had changed, but because of the terrible secret I carried.
Harold. My father’s name and the one I’d been most worried about now felt like a safe choice.
And then there was David. I could barely bring myself to think his name.
“We have time.” Alexander leaned over and kissed me. “Make them wait a few days. Make them wait a month. It will drive the bookies crazy.”
I tried to smile but it came out lopsided. My heart wasn’t in it.
Alexander seemed to sense this. He stayed close while giving me space, allowing the doctor and nurse to finish the final assessments.
When Dr. Thompson came to listen to William’s heart, I reluctantly turned him away from me.
She bent her gray head down and listened intently, her face remaining composed. It was too perfect. No reaction.
Something was wrong.
“What is it?” I asked, unwilling to sit and wait for her to deliver the bad news. I’d been preparing mentally for this since I’d found out about William’s heart condition, but the truth was that nothing could ever prepare you for a sick child.
I was his mother. It was my job to protect him. He’d grown inside me, and no matter how much reason and common sense was laid at my feet, I felt responsible. Maybe I could have done more. Maybe I was to blame.
“I think it would be a good idea to have the surgeon come in sooner.” She straightened, her lips a flat line.
“We should have had the c-section,” I said as guilt shook me.
“That doesn’t matter.” She waved off the idea with such dismissal that it almost made me feel better. “And he’s here now, but I do believe the valve will need attention sooner rather than later. I’ll give you two a few moments.”
She disappeared with the nurse, giving us our first real moment of alone time. I sighed into the feeling. This was where I belonged with Alexander in our own world. When I looked up, I found his lashes wet.
“Hey, X. How are you doing?” He’d been so concerned with me that I hadn’t asked him.
“Does that matter?” He forced a crooked grin that didn’t quite match him anymore. There had been a time when that wicked smirk could stop any conversation, no matter how serious, and get me thinking about something else. But since that was the last thing I felt like thinking about at the moment, it didn’t work now.
“It matters to me.” With the baby sleeping peacefully on my chest, I finally took one hand off William and placed it over my husband’s.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered, his eyes focused on our clasped hands.
“You didn’t.” It was a simple reminder but one we both needed. We’d walked through hell and we’d come out the other side. But there were burns that would take time to heal. We could only start that process together.
“We need to talk,” I continued, feeling more comfortable now that we were alone. “I have to tell you something…about David.”
“I know,” he said quickly.
“You do?”
“We saw him.” He hesitated, and I could see he was holding something back.
Was he trying to save the bad news until later? I already knew almost everything I needed to know. That David was a traitor. That Norris had shot him. The only mystery was how I was going to tell Edward what had happened.
I didn’t know how I was going to break my best friend’s heart.
“Norris shot him. He’s dead,” I said in a soft voice, needing him to know that I understood the weight of what happened. “He was helping them—whoever they were. They planned to take the baby.”
“We don’t need to talk about this now,” Alexander stopped me. “You shouldn’t have to relive it.”
I understood. Part of me wanted to take him up on the offer, but deep down I knew I couldn’t escape this.
“Clara,” he continued, “there’s something you need to know.” Alexander’s jaw tightened as though he wanted to hold back the words. “David was alive when I found him.”
“Was?” I repeated the most significant word in that sentence. David was alive? He’d lived? I didn’t know how to feel about that.
“Was,” Alexander said again. “He’s not anymore.”
I stared at my husband, trying to process what he was saying. William shifted on my chest, turning his face with sudden, undeniable interest. I repositioned him while the weight of Alexander’s confession snack through me like lead.
“I didn’t think.” Alexander’s voice trembled as he spoke. This wasn’t the first man he’d killed. He’d been to war. But this was different, and we both knew it. “I didn’t even think. When I realized what he did…I shot him.”
And somewhere through the grief and fear and love and anger swimming inside me, I knew exactly how I felt about what he’d done. “Good.”
Chapter 26
ALEXANDER
I blinked, momentarily stunned by Clara’s reaction. I’d never seen such bald hatred on her face, but before I could ask for more details—even though I’d promised I wouldn’t—the door to her room opened.
Dr. Thompson entered, followed by a man I didn’t recognise. Both of them were studying me. I knew Dr. Thompson had gotten the wrong impression during labor. It seemed I was going to have to prove to them that my wife had no reason to fear me. That was easier said than done.
“Dr. Gilroy is here,” Thompson announced, “and he’d like to take a look at the baby.”
Clara released him to the doctor’s care reluctantly, her eyes darting between the baby and the man. I didn’t know how to allay her fears. The truth was that I had been caught off guard. That mistake had nearly cost us everything. I was the reason she was scared now. How could I ever convince her that I would never allow that to happen again?
“Stay with him,” Clara urged me, her exhaustion beginning to show.
“Actually, I’d like to speak with your husband.” Dr. Thompson didn’t care that I was king—that much was obvious. She had a bone to pick with me.
“I’ll get Belle,” I promised her.
Belle hurried in from the hall as soon as I asked for her. None of my team had strayed farther than the corridor. We must have made the hospital nervous. Most of us look like we’d just walked out of a war zone. Then there was the hovering. The tension outside the delivery room was palpable. No wonder the doctor was on edge.
“She wants someone to stay with the baby,” I explained to Belle under my breath, so curious ears didn’t overhear. “She’s scared someone will take him, but I need to speak with Dr. Thompson.”
Belle swallowed hard, digesting this news. I didn’t know how much Smith had managed to relay to her about today’s events, but there was a lot the rest of my team didn’t know. Now wasn’t the time to fill them in.
“Edward’s on his way,” Be
lle told me as we headed back inside. “He can’t reach David.”
Guilt pressed against my chest. I knew what she didn’t—what my brother didn’t. There would be no reaching David again. Clara might have absolved me for my part in his death, but I had not.
I had no idea if my brother ever would.
I gave her a terse nod, hoping she wouldn’t bring it up again—not in front of Clara.
Belle beamed at her best friend and darted over to where the surgeon was examining the baby on a nearby cart. I had to hand it to her. She knew things had gone terribly wrong, but she was putting on the best show of any of us.
“Doctor,” I addressed Thompson, motioning for her to join me in the corner. It wasn’t exactly private, but there was no need to keep anything from Clara and my wife would feel better knowing I was here.
“I suppose you can guess what we need to speak about. Normally, I would ask a woman directly, but I’m not certain I would get a straight answer from your wife. She obviously lives in fear.” She leveled a beady gaze at me.
It took all my self-control not to snap. This was understandable. She had misinterpreted the situation. Given how carefully we’d controlled news of Clara’s abduction, I couldn’t blame her for that. “It’s not what you think.”
“I hear that a lot.” She crossed her arms, obviously preparing for a fight.
It was going to be hard to stay cool-headed if she wasn’t going to listen. “My men. This.” I pointed to my strange attire. “Someone attempted to take the baby.”
“But the baby…” She trailed away as she began to put this together.
“Clara was in labor when we found her.” I kept my voice low. “I assume I have doctor patient privilege.”
I should have thought of that first.
She nodded, a humourless smile playing at her lips. “You could also order me not to speak.”
“You don’t seem like the type to take orders,” I admitted.
“Neither does your wife.” She looked over to Clara who was watching us from the bed. “She’ll need to speak with someone.”