“You can sleep here,” she said.
“Where are you sleeping?” Caleb crossed his arms over his chest, drawing her eye to the way his biceps flexed.
She headed to the last room on the left and opened the door. “The bathroom is there.” She pointed across the hall. “Goodnight, Caleb.”
He stood for a second, looking into her room and checking out the king-sized bed. “Does Bear sleep in your bed?”
“No. I love many things about Bear, but sharing my bed isn’t one of them.”
“Good, because it would be crowded with the three of us.”
She took a step back. “Um…”
Caleb pushed past her and pulled his shirt over his head. His shoulders flexed, sending ripples through the hard ridges and valleys of his sculpted back. He tossed the shirt over a chair and thumbed open the top button of his pants.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m getting ready for bed.”
“You’re not sleeping here.” She pointed down the hall. “Your room is down there.”
“Yeah, I heard you say that.”
“Okay, I’ll take that room.” She stepped into the hall and called for Bear. He’d already plopped down beside the bed. “Bear, let’s go to bed.”
Caleb gave a low growl. “We’re sleeping in the same bed.”
“No, we’re not.”
“If you go to that room, I’ll just follow.”
“We’re not sleeping together.”
“Yes, we are.”
“I’m not—”
“I’m not talking about sex, Cat, although I know exactly how good we are together. Surprise, but I’m not interested in sex.”
“Really?” The man was a walking sex-god. And why wasn’t he interested in having sex with her? After that kiss, that was all she could think about.
“Here’s the deal,” he said. “I’ve made a decision.”
“Have you?”
“Do you always interrupt? Or, are you going to let me speak?”
She gestured for him to continue. “Please, by all means, explain how us sleeping together makes any kind of sense in any universe.” She crossed her arms and lifted a brow, waiting for him to continue.
“Okay, here it is. You’re the one I want. You’ve always been the one I want, but I have commitments to my team, to the Marines, and those aren’t things I can walk away from. I can’t hide away in Bear Creek with you for the rest of my life. You wouldn’t want to be married to a man who would, but that’s beside the point. It’s clear you’re never going to step foot outside Bear Creek. I get it, and I understand why. I accept I’ll never be enough to get you to do that. What I won’t do is agree with your reasons, and you can argue with me all day long about how that’s not the case. We both know it’s a lie, and I don’t have the patience for it anymore. You don’t want me. I get it. After the vet checks Bear out, and gives his okay, I’ll take you home. But for tonight, I’m going to hold you in my arms as we sleep in the same bed.”
“And then what?” The quiver in her voice surprised her, as did the sinking sensation in her gut. His words felt too much like the end.
“I’m done.” The look he gave said they were anything but done, but she knew enough about Caleb to know that once he made his mind up, there was no going back. “Now, get in here and shut that door.”
“You can’t make me sleep with you.”
“You’re right. It seems I can’t make you do anything, but all I’m asking for is one last night. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. In the morning, we’ll stop torturing each other. You’ll move on, and I’ll do the same. It’s time we stop waiting for something that’s never going to happen, but give me this. I need to hold you one last time.”
“Caleb…”
He tugged off his pants, standing in front of her in his underwear. Her mouth gaped at the changes in his body since the last time she’d seen him without clothes. He’d grown a couple inches and filled out his tall frame with tightly packed muscles. Her mouth went dry and she licked her lips. Her fingers itched to trace out the sculpted definition, but that’s not what he wanted.
He only wanted to hold her one last time.
His vulnerability filled the space between them. The echo of his words rattled around in her head. She was the one he wanted, and if only she could be strong enough, he would be hers as well. She clutched at her belly as ripples of fear brought a tear to her eye.
“Get in bed, Cat. It’s late.” All sinew and grace, he moved to the far side of the bed and pulled back the covers. He stretched out his long legs beneath the covers and plumped his pillow. Throwing an arm over his eyes, he lay on his back while she made what could be the worst decision of her life.
But it was only one night.
He wanted to hold her. She shouldn’t do this, but she closed the door, turned out the light, and stripped down to her bra and panties.
Bear was already asleep. His paws moved and he gave a low woof as he chased something in his dream. She pulled back the covers and slipped into bed. Laying on her back, she didn’t know if she should turn away, shift closer to Caleb, or just lay there until he fell asleep.
He took the decision from her, because he rolled to his side, grabbed her around the waist, and dragged her to him. He buried his nose in her hair and took a deep breath. Then he wrapped his powerful frame around hers, tugging her tight to his chest. He said nothing in the minutes that followed. There were no lover’s words whispered into her ear, or promises of a future to lull her to sleep.
She placed her hand over his and snuggled into his warmth as troubled thoughts pulled her into a restless sleep. The last thought tumbling through her head was it can’t be true.
We can’t be done.
Chapter 17
Caleb
Caleb woke the next morning with sun spilling through the windows and his arms wrapped around the most beautiful woman in the world. Her hair lay in disarray, fanned out against the pillow. Her soft breaths eased in and out. How angelic she looked as she slept. How precious and adorable. He wished he could wake up to this every day.
It had been years since he'd slept that soundly.
Bear curled up at the foot of the bed and regarded Caleb with a slow blink. His tail thumped and he gave a low whine. Caitlyn slept like the dead. A gentle nudge failed to wake her. Unwilling to disturb her sleep, he slipped out of bed and dressed in his clothes from last night.
"Come on, boy," he said to Bear. "Let's get you outside."
Bear looked up eagerly and rose to his feet, showing no outward signs of pain or stiffness. Dogs handled pain much better than any human he knew.
With still nothing from Caitlyn, he ushered Bear out of the bedroom and took him outside. Showing much more energy than last night, Bear snuffled through the snow and rolled as he rubbed his back in the snow. Caitlyn would be worried about Bear pulling out stitches, but he figured the dog would know when enough was enough. Besides, he didn't mind standing outside in the cold. It gave him time to think.
Those thoughts were difficult to face, but he knew his decision last night was for the best. And sleeping had been the right thing to do, even if his body had ached to possess her. Throwing one last night of sex into the mix would’ve destroyed his resolve to finally give each of them a little peace. Leaving Caitlyn again would hurt more than it had the first time, but it was one of those decisions that needed to be made. He would be strong enough for them both.
Yes, he had left Caitlyn after high school, and yes, it had been a dick move. Not nearly as bad as never calling afterwards, but those were the choices of his younger, brasher self. He thought to rekindle his romance with his high school sweetheart and hoped the years would've given her perspective and the grace to forgive.
Bear Creek was an amazing place and he could see himself making it a home, raising kids, and growing old with her by his side. The close community was in his blood and would always be a part of him, but there was too much living to do
first. Too much evil still infested the world and he was damn good at his job. It mattered. The things he did. Caitlyn may never understand, but he made the world a better place; him and his team.
He could no longer hold Caitlyn back, not that he had, but there had always been that understanding between them; a promise of forever.
It hurt.
His insides twisted thinking about leaving her for good. The pain in his chest was real, and he rubbed at his breastbone hoping to ease some of the ache. Meanwhile, Bear played in the snow, digging trenches and knocking snow off the bushes. It would be nice to live the carefree existence of a dog, rather than travel the complicated path of a human. He cupped his hands over his mouth and called out to Bear.
"Come, boy, time to go inside."
Bear lifted his snow-covered snout and looked across the pristine white expanse of the field he'd yet to explore. Caleb shook his head and called again, commanding Bear inside. Dejectedly, Bear relented, giving up the freedom of the outdoors for the warmth of the house.
On his way inside, Caleb filled his arms with a stack of wood. The log in the hearth smoldered with no visible flame but would light easily. He added wood around the main log and sat back with satisfaction as the fire roared back into life.
The house stood empty with no signs of life except for him and Bear who curled up next to the hearth. Thinking he could do something for his hosts, he went into the kitchen to see about breakfast. Normally, he wouldn't intrude, but Abby told him to make himself at home.
He whipped up his mother’s famous pancake batter and cracked a dozen eggs into a bowl. A little turn of the whisk and he set the eggs beside the pancake batter. Then he turned on the stove, crisped some bacon, and started the first batch of pancakes.
Drake wandered in some time later, taking a seat at the large kitchen island.
"I thought I smelled bacon."
Caleb gestured to the stove. "Bacon, eggs, and pancakes. My ma's specialty."
"Well, it smells amazing."
"Should be done soon."
"Where's Caitlyn?"
"Still asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake her."
"You two sort things out?"
Not one to share his private life, there was something about Drake that made it easy to open up.
"Not really. I think we decided complicated wins."
"Really? That's not what I would've thought."
"Well, have you ever worked really hard for something and it refused to come together?"
"Actually, I have."
"And did it work out for you?"
"My story is a little different from yours."
"How so?"
"Well, I got the girl, then lost her. It's a tragic story."
Caleb paused, realizing the girl in Drake's story couldn't be Abby. Every time those two looked at each other sparks flew. They had the kind of love that poets wrote about.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It was a long time ago, and like I said, much different from yours. I guess I just have one question for you."
"Yeah?"
"I understand complicated, but men like us..." Drake gave a slow shake of his head. "We don't give up. Our training beats that kind of wuss-ass attitude out of us. I'm just wondering what makes you think you can quit?"
"I'm not quitting."
"But you're not fighting."
"I've been fighting for her all my life."
"Looks like you haven't been fighting hard enough. Time to reevaluate and gain a new perspective. What are the barriers? And how do you take them down?"
Abby waltzed into the kitchen, bringing an end to their conversation.
"Reevaluate what?" She made a beeline for Drake and gave him a passionate good morning kiss, unconcerned that Caleb watched. Once she disengaged her lips from Drake's, she propped herself in his lap and peered at the stove. "I thought I smelled bacon."
"I figured I could whip up breakfast." Caleb gestured to the stove. "Consider it a thank you for letting us stay last night."
Abby gave a wave of her hand. "Shoot, it was nothing. Where's Caitlyn?"
"Still in bed where I left her."
Abby's eyes widened and she shared a look with Drake. "Well, that sounds wonderful." She peeked again at the stove. "Looks like breakfast is almost done. I'll just go pop in and wake her up."
Caleb watched the silent play of expressions shared between Abby and Drake. In a look, it seemed as if Drake conveyed the entirety of their conversation to Abby. The last thing he needed was Abby waking Caitlyn and prying into their personal business.
"Actually, I'll go,” he said.
"But the food?”
"It's done." He turned off the burners, wiped his hands on a dish towel, and rushed out of the kitchen before Abby could beat him to it.
When Caleb walked into the bedroom, Caitlyn was spread out on the bed, snoring softly.
"Caitlyn?" He inched toward the bed.
She gave a lazy stretch and opened one eye. "Is it morning already?"
He drew near and fought the temptation to crawl back in bed and give her a proper welcome to the day.
"Yup. Breakfast is waiting. Everyone is up."
She rolled over and peeked over the bed. "Where's Bear?"
"He's with Abby and Drake. I already took him out."
"How is he?"
"Actually, he looks pretty good. Now, get up or you'll be eating breakfast alone."
"Mmm, breakfast sounds good." She reached overhead, hands clasped and arched her back, pushing her tits up and out.
Caleb held back an agonized groan and took a step back. His shoulders slumped with the knowledge he would never touch her like that again. Pivoting, he headed for the door, looking back one last time at her fragile beauty, as if he could brand the memory into his mind forever.
Before the urge to return to her and take her as his body demanded overcame him, he forced his feet to take a step toward the door. How many steps would it take before she was out of his life for good?
Back in the kitchen, Abby had set four plates around the kitchen island, family style.
"Butter and syrup?" He arched a brow in question, pointing to several of the closed cabinets.
Abby pointed to a stool. "Sit. I'll get everything. Is Caitlyn coming?"
"She's awake and knows breakfast is waiting. Other than dragging her off the bed, that's where I stopped."
"Ah, okay. We'll give her a minute."
"I didn't make anything for Bear. I didn't know if you had dog food and we ate all the steak from last night."
Bear sat on his haunches, nostrils flaring at all the delicious scents filling the kitchen. He reached down to scratch Bear's neck.
"We've got something." Drake stood. "I'll take care of it."
He was left alone with Abby as she pulled butter out of the fridge and syrup out of a cabinet.
"I called Draven while you were gone. He'll be here within the hour."
"Good, I'm anxious to get home."
"Look, I wanted to apologize about last night. I shouldn't have said anything about your mother’s illness. Did you get a chance to talk to her?”
"I did. She didn't want me to worry. I guess she found out right before my first deployment."
"Ah, I can see that. For what it's worth, I think she should have told you."
"Me too. I might have made different choices."
"Like what?" Abby sat opposite him and filled her plate. She pointed at the food. "You might as well serve yourself. Drake has to go to the barn to get something for Bear and I don't know what's keeping Caitlyn. Do you think she fell back asleep? I can go get her..."
"No. She knows breakfast is on the table." He didn't need the girls getting together. That would lead to conversations and he'd rather keep what happened last night between him and Caitlyn. Although that wouldn't be possible considering he basically told Drake everything.
Like Drake, Abby seemed to be clued into the tension between him and Caitlyn.
A few minutes later, Caitlyn wandered in. Dressed in the clothes she wore last night, she stretched and gave a huge yawn.
Bear went to Caitlyn and nuzzled her palm, looking for love and reassurance. She squatted down, gave him a hug, and checked on Abby's stitch work from last night. Once she was satisfied Bear was okay, she sat down.
"It smells wonderful." Caitlyn leaned forward and breathed in the savory aromas. "Thank you, Abby."
"Not me. Your beau is the kitchen wizard this morning." Abby jabbed her fork in his direction, speaking with her mouth full.
"Oh, well then it has to be good." Caitlyn's eyes pinched together and she ducked her head. "Caleb was always a fabulous cook." She gave him a tight-lipped smile, but he saw the moisture shimmering in her eyes.
Abby saw it too and gave a slow blink, glancing between the two of them. Fortunately, rather than saying something, she put another bite of eggs into her mouth.
Caitlyn chewed at her lower lip and filled her plate. Each time he tried to make eye contact, she looked away, biting at her nails and pressing her lips into a firm line. It made things uncomfortable until Drake returned with a bowl overflowing with dog food.
Bear perked up and circled Drake until he put the bowl down on the ground. Abby and Drake kept the conversation flowing, covering the awkwardness between him and Caitlyn as best they could. When the doorbell rang, Caleb wasn't sure who was more relieved. Him? Caitlyn? Or Drake who jumped up and excused himself to answer it.
"That's probably Draven," Abby said.
"I'll do the dishes." Caleb stacked the plates and carried them to the sink.
Abby gave Caitlyn a look, but Caitlyn wouldn't meet her gaze either. She took Bear to the Great Room. It sounded like the veterinarian had arrived.
Caleb took his time, not wanting to be a part of the production in the other room. As soon as Draven completed his exam, there would be no reason to stay in Peace Springs. That left an hour-long drive back to Bear Creek before it was time to say a final goodbye.
Chapter 18
Caitlyn
Caleb: Military Heroes (The One I Want Series Book 3) Page 13