I move away sharply and see the fear in her eyes as her lip quivers.
“I thought you would enjoy our little arrangement. What’s the matter, Ryder, are you losing your appetite for the harder stuff?”
I walk around to the other side of my desk and sit in the chair, placing my feet up on the desk and look at her with a dark expression.
“You wouldn’t know the hard stuff if I beat that well-fucked ass of yours with it. Now, if that’s all, darlin’, I have a wife to get back to. Unlike the trash in this room, she’s someone I want to spend time with.”
I watch as her face turns ugly as she realizes she has no power here. “You’ll regret this, Ryder. I may keep your secret but we both know when you’ve had your fun with little miss prim and proper out there, you’ll come crawling back to me. Only I can match your rampant needs. We both know you like it rough and I doubt that little princess out there will oblige. I’m guessing you’ll be bored within the week.”
I see her quivering with rage and just stare at her keenly. I watch her eyes dilate and her breathing rate increases. Smiling wickedly, I say in a hard voice.
“Strip.”
I watch as the excitement sparks in her eyes and she moves her hands to the hem of her dress. In one swift move she pulls the dress from her body and stands before me in nothing but her fuck me black underwear.
I grin. “All of it.”
She holds my gaze and removes her stockings, quickly followed by her bra. Then she shimmies out of her panties and stands before me completely naked.
I take a moment to appreciate the sight before me. She always was a fine-looking lady and tonight is no exception.
I push back from the desk and move over to stand before her. Kicking her clothes away into the far corner of the room, I run my fingers around the back of her head and pull her towards me roughly. When my mouth is inches from hers, I snarl,
“Now, get the hell out of here, you fucking whore.”
I push her away roughly and enjoy the sight of the realization dawning in her eyes.
“What the fuck, are you kidding me? You’re a bastard, Ryder.”
Shrugging, I move across to the door and open it wide.
“I never pretend to be anything else. Now don’t make me repeat myself.”
I watch as she moves to grab her clothes and say harshly.
“The clothes stay. You can leave with nothing but the car keys you need to get out of here.”
Shaking her head, she looks at me with a panicked expression.
“You bastard. I can’t leave like this. The only way out is through the bar and what if I get stopped on the way home? Even you aren’t that cruel.”
I shrug and fix her with a hard look.
“I said, get out. If you can’t take the punishment on offer, then I can arrange a harsher one. Like I said, nobody threatens me. Not outside these walls and certainly not inside them. Just be thankful you’re getting off lightly. I mean, after all, it’s nothing they haven’t seen before, is it?”
I take great pleasure is watching the penny drop and her eyes fill with pain. Yes, I’m a hard bastard and it gives me way too much pleasure.
She draws back her shoulders and passes me without so much as a look. I watch her ass sway from side to side as she walks proudly away.
As I follow her into the bar, the laughter breaks out as they see her coming. It’s a long walk to the door and the sight of a full bar filled with hot and horny bikers must be an intimidating one. It’s not just them either, the whores also have an ax to grind with the very woman who is enduring her walk of shame in the most humiliating of circumstances.
I watch her go as Snake and Brewer move beside me. Snake laughs softly.
“That went well then.”
I smirk. “I don’t know what she was thinking coming here and threatening me.”
Brewer looks worried. “What do you mean, threatening you?”
I shake my head. “It appears she discovered our little plan with the establishment. She also threatened to fill Ashton’s daddy in on where his princess lays her head.”
Snake hisses. “What do you want us to do?”
I shrug. “Nothing. I think I’ve made my point. Now, where’s my woman?”
I don’t like the look that passes over Brewer’s face as he looks at Snake nervously.
“She left boss.”
I feel the blood rushing to my head as his words register in my brain. Keeping my face blank, I snarl.
“What do you mean - left?”
Snake shakes his head. “She said she needed to get back to check on Cassie. Bonnie walked her home.”
Feeling myself relax a little, I look around at the bar filled with raucous bikers and smile.
“Then I’ll be getting off too. Enjoy your evening men as I fully intend on doing.”
As I walk from the bar, I cover my anxiety. I know why Ashton left, she thinks I was fucking Bella in my office as I said I could do. It drives a knife to my heart as I think of the pain I’ve caused her. Fucking Bella. I should have humiliated her in public much more than I just did. She’s ruined what promised to be an extremely productive evening.
22
Ashton
I couldn’t just stay there and let the thoughts of Ryder with that woman consume my mind. I must have grown quiet because I saw the looks the others shared. I told them I needed to check on Cassie. A convenient excuse to let me take flight.
I made small talk with Bonnie who insisted on walking with me and just thanked her and rushed inside as quickly as possible. Flo looked surprised to see me back so soon and raised her finger to her lips. My heart tightened as I saw Cassie sleeping soundly, tucked up in a blanket on the couch.
I whispered my thanks and as soon as Flo left I gathered the little bundle in my arms and carried her to bed.
Then I lay down beside her and held her close as I tried to battle the tears threatening to spill. This is too hard. I know I have feelings for Ryder but I can’t act on them. He’s all man and I’m no woman of the world. That was obvious when I saw the type of woman who normally warms his bed. I need to build myself up into a strong, confident woman to stand any chance of keeping his interest. He will soon get fed up with a broken wreck of a girl who folds under the slightest pressure. I’m not ready to live this life but I’m going to make damn sure I try re-build myself because the thought of leaving is killing me inside.
I must lie there for about thirty minutes before I hear footsteps. Quickly, I close my eyes and feign sleep as the door pushes open and I sense the man himself watching us. I’m not ready to deal with him, especially after he has been with another woman. I would smell her scent and it would destroy me inside. No, from now on this arrangement will be strictly business as it was always meant to be. Cassie is my number one priority and I won’t let her father inside my head or my heart.
He must stand watching us for a good five minutes before he leaves as silently as he came. I feel a huge wave of relief as I still my hammering heart. I know I won’t be able to avoid him but every hour I can will make me stronger. It’s thoughts of Ryder that rock me to sleep and the steady breathing of his daughter that comforts my soul.
By the time I wake up and dress, Cassie gets up and I help her into her clothes. Once we’re ready, we head downstairs and I see Ryder watching us approach. He’s sitting at the table with a coffee in front of him, as Cassie races over.
“Daddy, daddy, Ashton had a sleepover in my room. It’s just like in the movies.”
My heart hammers as he smiles with love at his daughter and swings her onto his lap, kissing her head lovingly.
“That’s nice, darlin’.”
He swings his gaze towards me and I see the questions in his eyes. I smile and move towards the coffee pot. “Would you like another?”
He shakes his head and I feel him watching me as I set about preparing breakfast. Luckily, Cassie chatters excitedly, which disguises the awkward atmosphere between us.
As soon as we’ve eaten I spring up hastily and start clearing the dishes. Once again, Cassie talks nonstop and it gives me time to plaster a blank look on my face, disguising my extremely turbulent mind.
Ryder says with interest, “What are your plans today?”
I smile and look over at Cassie. “We need to go and get her uniform for school. It’s only a few days away and we have a lot to organize.”
He looks thoughtful.
“I’ll drive you to town. Just give me a couple of hours to sort things out here.”
Shaking my head, I smile bravely. “It’s fine, I’ve got this. We’re having a mommy; daughter day and no boys are allowed.”
I try to ignore the hurt expression in his eyes as Cassie shrieks excitedly. “Mommy, can I ride up front with you?”
Laughing, I shake my head and try to look stern. “Absolutely not, young lady. The safest place for you is in the back where all little Princesses ride.”
She giggles and jumps up and down with excitement and Ryder laughs. “Go and play for a bit, honey. I want a word with mommy.”
My stomach lurches as I see the purpose in his eyes. As Cassie runs from the room, he turns to face me and I feel his eyes boring deep inside me.
“You’re mad at me.”
Just a simple statement but loaded with unspoken questions. I shrug.
“I have no right to be mad at you. We made a deal and you owe me nothing.”
I swallow hard as he moves closer and try to focus on anything but the need in me that he brings out. Standing in front of me he tilts my face to his. “Nothing happened last night. I sent Bella away and she won’t be back.”
I feel my legs shake as his scent fills my senses. His touch is melting every resolve I set in place and it takes all my strength to move away.
“That’s your business. You need a mom for Cassie and I need protection. Remember the deal. You have whores who will satisfy your more basic needs and I’m just a trophy to be paraded in front of your men when the need arises.”
I fight back the tears that threaten to spill as he says gently. “Is that what you think? That I want someone to parade around in front of my men. You couldn’t be more wrong.”
I look down and he says gently. “Look at me, Ashton.”
Looking up, I almost step back as I see the need in his eyes. Usually so guarded and now plain to see. The man in front of me is as damaged as the rest of us. I catch my breath as he shakes his head sadly.
“You should know that I’ve never let a woman into my life. They’ve only ever served a sexual need for me and nothing else. I was never around long enough to form a meaningful relationship and the savage life of a SEAL hardened my heart as well as my mind. When Cassie came along part of my soul melted and I began to feel. The love I have for my daughter has no end and no limits. I thought she was everything I would ever need and everything I have done has been for her well-being. When you walked into the den something stirred in the lost part of my soul that I never knew existed.”
I hold my breath as I see the intensity in his expression.
“You were so fragile, so broken and yet so brave. You were an Angel passing through the fires of Hell and it hit me hard. There was no doubt in my mind and no hesitation. You were here for me and every path we followed in our lives was destined to bring us both here—together. Yes, we have a business arrangement but only to protect you. If I had my way, I would have shown you what love should be. Not the hard, brutal way you’ve been abused. I want to care for you and love you, not because of any business deal but because of what I feel inside. I know you feel it too, Ashton because I see it in your eyes.”
I almost can’t breathe as his words hit home. Tears form behind my eyes and I see my future in front of me. He reaches out and takes my hand and raises it to his lips.
He kisses my hand as if it’s the most precious thing on earth and I am lost forever. Who is this man standing before me? Gone is the hard, cocky biker who takes what he wants with no regard. In his place is a sweet and kind man who has love in his heart. This man is far more powerful than the soldier he hides behind. This man is everything I have ever wanted.
I gulp as the tears fall. He looks concerned and I laugh softly.
“I’m sorry. You’ve taken me by surprise. I’m not used to men being nice to me. All my life I’ve been a commodity. A bargaining chip and a prize to protect. You won’t want a woman like me. I’m weak and foolish and made a bad situation worse. The only man who has ever loved me, sold me - twice. He did it to protect me even though it killed him inside. I need to find the true Ashton now. I need to build her up and make her strong. I have never been loved by a man for anything other than what I can give him. You say you’re different; how can you be? You saw a package wrapped up and presented to you to tempt you to open it. When you do, it may be empty inside. I want to be more than just the wrapping. I want to be loved for the person I am inside and not the object of desire I have been so far. Yes, we are married but we know nothing about each other. How can we build a solid foundation on shaky ground?”
Turning away, I fight back the tears. Then I feel a strong hand on my shoulder and turn into his protective arms. Ryder holds me close and wraps his arms around me and folds me into his chest. He drops a light kiss on the top of my head and whispers, “We have a lifetime to discover the people within. If it takes that long I will wait because now I’ve found you I want to give you the world. Take your time, darlin’, because it starts now. Your life here is not as a trophy wife but my soulmate. I knew it as soon as you walked towards me. If it takes you longer, then I will wait.”
I’m not sure how long we stand together but it feels familiar, comforting and 100% as it’s meant to be. Finally, I feel as if I’ve found the place I belong.
23
Ashton
True to his word Ryder steps back and gives me space. We fall into an easy relationship and start to build our family life. I play the perfect wife and mother which comes surprisingly easy to me. Ryder carries on as he’s always done. The doting father and the hard president of his club. To everyone else, we’re the perfect family and gradually I start to feel comfortable living here.
Today Cassie starts school and despite her excitement, I feel sorry that she’ll be away from me for most of the day. She looks angelic in her uniform and I see the proud look in Ryder’s eyes as he watches her run towards him with excitement.
“Daddy, I’m a big girl now, aren’t I?”
Grinning, he winks at her and then growls. “Don’t you grow up too soon little princess. You’re my baby, remember that.”
She giggles as he swings her up and then tickles her mercilessly. They start to play fight and I call out in alarm.
“Enough, you’ll mess up her uniform. What sort of impression would that give your new friends young lady?”
Cassie giggles and I shake my head and laugh as I see the two of them standing before me. So alike in every way and equally adorable.
Rolling my eyes, I grab the camera and take a brief picture and then hurry things along.
“Right then, into the car and don’t mess up your uniform. Kiss daddy goodbye.”
Ryder looks at his daughter with so much pride I feel my heart melt. “Be good baby girl. Remember to do everything the teacher tells you and no backchat.”
Cassie cocks her head to one side and says thoughtfully.
“What if I don’t agree with what they say?”
Ryder laughs. “Then tell your daddy when you get home and we’ll talk it through.”
She smiles. “I love you, daddy.”
As he kisses her softly he whispers. “I love you more my angel.”
I smile gently at him as Cassie races off to the car. “She’ll be fine. Don’t worry. You know, it’s not too late to change your mind and come with us.”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s best I stay away. She needs to fit in, remember. She needs you, Ashton. You’ll be the respectable parent she deser
ves. Not the hard, battle-torn biker who deals in retribution.”
I look at him thoughtfully.
“You know you’re more than that-don’t you?”
He winks and I see the cocky bastard that he is coming back with a vengeance.
“Keep telling yourself that, darlin’. There’s no one else around here that would agree with a word you’ve just said.”
Laughing, I follow Cassie out.
The journey takes us 30 minutes and Cassie talks nonstop all the way. She’s so excited and I laugh to myself. I wonder how long before she hates the thought of this drive every day.
We pull up outside a hugely impressive building. There is wealth and privilege all around and the air is thick with tradition and expectation. The other children look well-bred and immaculate and their mom’s as if they have stepped out of a magazine. I start to question why Ryder would want to send Cassie to a place like this. From my own experience, I hated every minute I spent in places just like this one. My daddy sent me to the best schools, and I detested every one of them. These people aren’t real. They are bred to judge others they deem beneath them. They have no tolerance and no compassion.
I feel as if the walls are closing in on me as I walk Cassie to the large hall where we’ve been told to gather.
Cassie holds my hand tightly and I can tell she’s overawed by the whole experience.
We take a seat in the hall and wait for the headmaster to address the new pupils and their families. I notice that most people have two sets of parents with them and feel conspicuous that it’s only the two of us. Luckily, another woman sits down next to me and I see she has a daughter who looks every bit as adorable as Cassie. The woman smiles brightly.
“Hi, I’m Jennifer and this is my daughter, Imogen.”
I see Cassie smile at the little girl who looks at her shyly. I smile back. “I’m Ashton and this is Cassie.”
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