Finally, write down at least one detailed action you will commit to in the next two weeks.
Afterword
It was an honor to write this book and a pleasure to revisit so many stories, those of others and my own. Some uplifting, some painful and all totally valuable. For this reflection process and to everyone who inspired the content of these stories, I remain grateful.
Throughout the writing of this book, I kept thinking about the consistency of change. It’s one of the few absolutes. I have faith that the concepts in this book will remain helpful in this changing world. At the same time, I’m also confident that what we understand about how we make change in our lives, will always be evolving. This evolution need not inspire fear of the unknown. Instead, it can feed our curiosity and spark excitement.
For now, don’t underestimate the serious potential of integrating the various parts of your lived experience. If we are being held back from what we want to change in our life, there is a reason, and oftentimes, it is in our control. Even if the only thing we can control is our perspective, as we’ve seen, this shift can change our very reality.
After doing all the research, reassessing client stories, and examining the tools available to us, I am more convinced than ever that connecting the various parts of our lived experience leads to positive change.
As we set out to create the lives we want, let’s continue to focus on this connectivity.
Thank You So Much!
I appreciate you reading my book “CHANGES – The Busy Professional’s Guide to Reducing Stress, Accomplishing Goals, and Mastering Adaptability.”
If you found value here, please leave a helpful REVIEW with your favorite book distributor or on Amazon.
Thanks in advance for all your feedback.
Wishing you success in all your pursuits of positive change!
—Michael
Acknowledgments
To say that a book has a single author seems kind of silly at this point. I wonder how many authors out there feel that they alone are to take credit/blame for their work. This book is the culmination of four years of work. What launched as a writing project underwent quite a transformation before landing. It’s gone through not only many editing rounds, but also major concept changes. I give this short bit of background because I want to give credit where it’s due. Without the support of so many people, I’m not sure there would be any fruit to bear here.
Since this book is somewhat of a chronicle of my own personal and professional experiences and observations, it seems fitting that I acknowledge the clients, friends, family, teachers, lovers, supporters, (even naysayers!) who have played a significant role in informing my philosophy. I remain grateful.
I would like to take the opportunity to acknowledge those whose general influence and specific input were absolutely critical to the development of this book. To my parents, Lynn Diettrich and David Chastain, for their unconditional love, support, and belief in me. To my extended family and friends for their love, support, and entertainment. You know who you are.
Robin Adams your love, support, and belief in this (very time-consuming) project have kept me going. Much love to you, my dear. Thank you for being my biggest fan.
All the organizations, individuals, families, couples, leaders, and teams I have worked with over the years, thank you for your willingness to share your stories.
Sam Uhl at The Cheerful Word publishing house, thank you for your support and encouragement during the beginning of this book and for your encouragement to re-frame it.
Dr. Keith Davis, Dr. Sally Atkins, Dr. Jack Mulgrew, and all the professors at Appalachian State University, thank you for kindling my passion for understanding how people create change in their lives.
Grandmaster Rick Ward, you remain a significant influence in my pursuits of the martial arts as well as on my philosophy of life. Thank you, Sifu. Thanks to all my teachers, training partners, and students of Blue Ridge Kung Fu Arnis Academy as well. I continue to be amazed by the depth of wisdom to be found in the martial arts.
Matt Moseley, thank you for your coaching, late night discussions, writing tips, friendship, and constant encouragement. Keep howling at the moon, sir!
Ryan Carrasco, thank you for your excellent questions, conceptual challenges, and editing prowess. Without you, sir, this book would not have developed as it did. So much gratitude for you!
Chandler Bolt, Sean Sumner, Lise Cartwright and all of the folks at The Self Publishing School, thank you for continuing to educate me on all things Indie and Traditional Publishing. Many thanks for your guidance!
Catherine, the crew at Bright Planning, and the launch team, thank you for your enthusiasm, patience, and rallying when it really mattered.
Christos Angelidakis, thank you for your sharing your design prowess and for showing much patience. I appreciate you hanging in there with me.
Thank you to Rachel McCracken and the folks at Chasing Kites as well as Matías Baldanza for the design and book formatting expertise!
Finally, if you are reading this, thank you for putting your trust in me. I hope the materials within challenge you to think, act, consider, respond, and explore in new, more dynamic ways. Best wishes to you on your journey!
Notes
Introduction
1 Biopsychosocial model.
http://sk.sagepub.com/reference/the-sage-encyclopedia-of-theory-in-counseling-and -psychotherapy/i2350.xml
1. The Victim or The Master
2 Man’s Search for Meaning.
https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525975696&sr=8-1&keywords=mans+search+for+meaning
3 Victor Frankl, Victor.’s Logotherapy.
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn--about--therapy/types/logotherapy
2. Building Motivation to Change
4 Journal of College and Character, Strengths and why they are important.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.2202/1940-1639.1042
4. Emotional Intelligence – Professional and Personal
5 The Industrial Psychiatry Journal emotional intelligence definition: “The ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.”
6 Daniel Goleman’s definition of emotional intelligence.
http://www.danielgoleman.info/daniel-goleman-how-emotionally-intelligent-are-you/
7 Talent Smart Research, business case for EQ.
http://www.talentsmart.com/about/emotional-intelligence.php
8 Situational Leadership.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situational_leadership_theory
9 The Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology at Rutgers University,The business case for emotional intelligence
http://www.eiconsortium.org/reports/business_case_for_ei.html
10 The Journal of Marketing, Stress management and retail store profit
https://www.jstor.org/stable/1252175?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
11 Organizational Dynamics, Increase in manufacturing production
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0090261681900267
12 Center for Creative Leadership Study, consequences of deficits in emotional intelligence.
https://www.ccl.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/BenchmarksSourcebook.pdf
13 Journal of Personality, Emotional Intelligence and Health, Higher EQ and better health
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886906003539
5. Trusting Your Intuition
14 Oxford Dictionary, Definition for Intuition
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/intuition
15 Science, Deciding advantageously before knowing the advantageous strategy
16 On making the right choice: the deliberation-without-attention effect.
17 Tapping into unconscious intuition.
6. The
Importance of Gratitude
18 The Global Rich List.
http://www.globalrichlist.com/
19 Top 1% in the U.S.
20 Robert Emmons, Benefits of Gratitude.
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good
21 Journal of the Society for Psychotherapy Research, Gratitude writing and mental health
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10503307.2016.1169332?scroll=top&needAccess=true&journalCode=tpsr20
22 Gottman research on gratitude and relationships
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/
7. Knowing Isn’t Enough
23 Will Bowen complaint free world
https://www.willbowen.com/complaintfree/
24 Will Bowen, complaint free world, complaining experiment timing
https://www.willbowen.com/complaintfree/
8. The PACE of Change
25 Business Insider, Richard Branson always carries a notebook
https://www.businessinsider.com/richard-branson-productivity-hack-2014-9
26 Brene Brown, shame and guilt
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame#t-412159
9. The Best Way to Improve Productivity
27 Comidor, Boosting Personal Productivity in Real Life
https://www.comidor.com/cms.php/en/blog/enterprise-collaboration/boosting-personal-productivity-in-real-life
28 Fast Company, Traits of successful people.
https://www.fastcompany.com/3038843/the-common-traits-of-the-most-successful-people
29 Forbes, Sitting is the new smoking.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/davidsturt/2015/01/13/is-sitting-the-new-smoking/#25fc9d67239a
10. The Mind-Body Connection
30 The Guardian, Body mind connection
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/04/depression-allergic-reaction-inflammation-immune-system?CMP=share_btn_fb
31 National Institute of Mental Health, Mental health and Chronic Illness
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/chronic-illness-mental-health-2015/index.shtml
32 Healthline, “The Effects of Depression in Your Body”
http://www.healthline.com/health/depression/effects-on-body
33 Depression caused by chronic illness
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=55170
34 Journal of Palliative Medicine, Mind body approach in treatment
http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/jpm.2009.0143
35 Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy, Yoga and therapy
http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ930795.pdf
36 Stress and Health, Multimodal stress reduction program for teachers.
37 The Model Health Show.
http://theshawnstevensonmodel.com/
38 The Tim Ferriss Show.
https://tim.blog/podcast/
39 The Aubrey Marcus Podcast.
https://www.aubreymarcus.com/blogs/aubrey-marcus/tagged/aubrey-marcus-podcast
11. The Importance of Self-Care
40 Psych Central, “What is self-care” by Dr. Agnes Wainman
https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-self-care-is-and-what-it-isnt-2/
41 Self-care improves healing experience & organizational health
http://www.news-medical.net/news/20100813/Research-reveals-self-care-improves-healing-experience.aspx
42 Own the Day, Own Your Life. Aubrey Marcus.
https://www.amazon.com/Own-Day-Your-Life-Optimized/dp/0062684078
43 Science behind the value of sex.
https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sex-and-health#1
12. Meditation for the Individual and the Organization
44 What is qigong.
https://www.nqa.org/what-is-qigong-
45 UCLA study of meditation impact on aging
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01551/full
46 Mayo Clinic, Meditation and stress reduction.
http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
47 Johns Hopkins Study, Meditation programs for psychological stress and well being.
http://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/1809754
48 Meditation and smoking cessation.
49 Harvard Health Publishing, Meditation and absenteeism.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/mental-health-problems-in-the-workplace
50 World Health Organization, Depression as leading cause of disability Meditation and disability.
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression
51 Aetna’s mindfulness program, meditation, healthcare, and productivity.
https://news.aetna.com/2014/09/journey-personal-organizational-wellness/
52 TIME article, Meditation and mindfulness in the workplace.
http://time.com/4624276/yoga-workplace-mindfulness/
53 MUSE, the brain sensing headband.
http://www.choosemuse.com/how-does-muse-work/
14. Cultivating Self-Discipline
54 The Whole 30®.
https://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/
55
The Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, self discipline and IQ.
http://pss.sagepub.com/content/16/12/939.short
56 The Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, Discipline and martial arts.
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397304000309
57 Washington University’s Department of Psychology, Discipline in older adults.
http://psychsocgerontology.oxfordjournals.org/content/60/3/P153.short
58 The Journal of Depression and Anxiety, Discipline and depression.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/da.20026/abstract
15. Challenging Perspectives and Maintaining Ground
59 Gallup research, ROI for building strengths.
http://www.gallup.com/businessjournal/167462/employees-strengths-company-stronger.aspx
16. Inspiration and Engagement in the Workplace
60 Inspire Me Today, 500 words of wisdom.
http://inspiremetoday.com/brilliance/mindful-courageous-adventurous/
61 Gallup, Employee engagement and turnover.
http://www.gallup.com/businessjournal/163130/employee-engagement-drives-growth.aspx
62 Gallup, Five tips to improve employee engagement.
https://www.gallup.com/workplace/231581/five-ways-improve-employee-engagement.aspx
63 Harvard Health Publishing, Appreciation and workplace environment.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/in-praise-of-gratitude
64 IBM study on Inspiring leadership.
http://www-935.ibm.com/services/multimedia/anz_ceo_study_2012.pdf
65 Forbes, Carmine Gallo on 7 ways to be inspiring as a leader.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2011/07/06/the-7-secrets-of-inspiring-leaders/#649cda0d1433
66 Value alignment and engagement.
https://www.bizjournals.com/bizjournals/how-to/growth-strategies/2014/06/how-to-get-employees-to-align-with-company-mission.html
67 Engagement and operating income, Towers Watson.
https://www.towerswatson.com/DownloadMedia.aspx?media=%7BE87F6E65-99E6-413B-8068-09B6821FA7BF%7D
68 The Social Workplace, List of studies on employee engagement.
http://www.thesocialworkplace.com/2011/08/social-knows-employee-engagement-statistics-august-2011-edition/
17. The Best Listener at Work
69 The Journal of Occupational Health, Listening skills at work.
https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/joh/49/2/49_2_81/_article
70 Small Group Research, Leadership and listening.
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1046496498294003
71 Motivational Interviewing.
<
br /> https://www.ihs.gov/california/tasks/sites/default/assets/File/BP2015-4_TeachingSBIRTFacultyGuideSession3Part2.pdf
18. What’s Mine and What’s Yours—Effective Boundaries
72 Livestrong, 7 Ways to set Clear Boundaries with People in Your Life.
https://www.livestrong.com/slideshow/1011354-people-need-set-boundaries/
73 The Academy of Management Journal, Between You and Me: Setting Work-Nonwork Boundaries in the Context of Workplace Relationships.
http://amj.aom.org/content/56/6/1802.short
74 The University of California, San Francisco, Healthy workplace boundaries.
https://hr.ucsf.edu/hr.php?A=1069&AT=cm&org=c&sref=5
19. Dealing with Uncertainty
75 Biological impacts of meditation.
https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=aFe1DAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA175&dq=biological+impact+of+meditation&ots=yh0W9DWgYa&sig=WoSsB3oUs4XPxPH-VwpkxBEgya0#v=onepage&q&f=false
20. Spirituality and Well-Being
76 The Journal of Behavioral Medicine, Spirituality relates to emotional well being and quality of life.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15194519
77 The Journal of Health Psychology, Religious coping methods impact health.
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1359105304045366
78 Meta-analysis of religious coping related to stress.
79 The International Journal of Indian Psychology, spirituality and inspired leadership.
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