“What are you drinking, darling?” he asked as he leaned onto the bar.
“Matt bought me beer,” I answered. My nose scrunched up at the thought of it. Jay ordered me a bottle of the pear cider I had the other night with him. I sipped it gratefully. When he had his own bottle of beer, he slipped his hand into mine again and pulled me into a corner of the bar. The bar was busy for it being a Sunday night. I had no idea what time it was but for the second time in a long time I was enjoying myself and once again it was because I was with Jay, I realised. There must be something to that I pondered. Surely?
There were no tables left so Jay talked someone out of a stool and dragged it over to me where I stood leaning against the wall. He helped me up onto it, not that I needed it, but I didn’t mind his hands on my waist. He didn’t remove them when I was settled. He nudged my legs to the side and settled against me. I leaned slightly back to look up at him, resting my head against the wall to do so. He was smiling lazily at me, his eyes twinkling as usual.
“You sure are something darling,” he said looking down at me.
“How so?” I asked a little huskily.
He reached down and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Because you’re fearless. You play eight ball in a bar filled with my brother’s crowd. You openly challenged him at the game and then beat his ass. You stand up to Colton Dawson like you’re his equal.” I frowned. I was Colton’s equal. He had never treated me as less and I had never thought it. I said as much to Jay, he smiled and slid my hair through his fingers.
“See, fearless,” he took my bottle from me and put it on a shelf to the side of me. Then he turned back to me and then he was kissing me. It wasn’t the soft gentle kisses of before, this was more insistent, more forceful. I felt myself responding and I opened my mouth to let him in. My hands travelled up to curl round his neck as I felt his hands slide up into my hair and he tugged me closer to him, I went quite willingly.
He was soon pressed up against me, I was conscious somewhere in the back of my head that this wasn’t how I wanted to be seen in a bar. Wrapped around a guy I hardly knew. I pulled back and untangled myself from Jay. He let me go and stood back. My eyes darted round quickly and caught a few glances my way. I looked for Matt, he was still at the pool table, bending slightly as he was talking to the same girl as before, but his eyes were on me. He nodded at me as he straightened, and I nodded back. That was my cue that it was time to go.
Jay had caught the whole encounter and smiled a little sardonically. “Big bro says it’s time to go?”
I flushed and hopped off the stool. “I have classes tomorrow,” I apologised. Jay barked out a laugh. My hand caught his and he glanced down at me. “See you later?” His eyes softened and he brushed my hair back. I felt Matt approach more than saw him and with a quick peck on Jay’s cheek, I hurried out of the bar.
“I dunno what you’re doing Ari.” Matt muttered as we left. “I sure as hell hope that you do.”
We drove in silence and he dropped me off at my door. I got a goodnight hug and I could tell he was still holding back a lecture. Grateful for the let off, I hurried into my apartment.
Truth be told, I didn’t know what I was doing either.
I woke up on Monday morning feeling slightly guilty. My alarm was ringing insistently yet I was in no hurry to face the day. I didn’t want to see the judgy look in Matt’s eyes and I didn’t want to have to defend myself.
I was young and single, plenty of girls my age kissed boys randomly. Slamming my hand on top of the alarm, I sat up quickly. The more I thought about it, Matt had some nerve, he kissed girls like I had kissed Jay last night all the time! No one was giving him grief over it. In fact, if anything he was getting high fived and fist bumped. Stupid double standards that’s what this was. Just because I was a girl, he looked at like a sister, he became all caveman beating his chest.
Now I had pictures in my head of Matt in a loincloth which then led to the four of them in loincloths. Which was absurd and what was more absurd was that even in a loincloth, Colton still made my blood run hot. Imaginary Colton, imaginary loincloth and here I was panting like an idiot. I needed to get a grip.
I showered quickly and munched a protein bar on the walk into campus. I opted to walk today, I needed the long walk to clear my head. I had my Creative Writing elective this morning. No boy or argument about who I should or should not be kissing was going to dissuade me from the enjoyment of this class. My positive attitude lasted throughout the morning, but reality was waiting for me in the afternoon. I genuinely don’t know how they managed to sniff me out, they were like a pack of wolves.
Today it was Theo, leaning against a vending machine talking to some poor girl who didn’t know she was about to be added to a bed post notch. I decided to save the girl by saving her the heartache. Theo noticed me and grinned hugely, smiling I strode up to Theo. I tugged him down to meet me in the pretence of a hug and as he bent, I planted a warm sloppy kiss on his mouth. Theo jerked back in shock and then much to my shock decided to play me at my own game and returned the kiss with a little too much enthusiasm. His arms came around me and he half lifted me off the ground, my palms lay flat against his chest. I heard an outraged gasp and the sound of stomping feet. Theo broke the kiss, looked down the hall towards the retreating girl and then grinned at me.
“Excellent save Lil Bit! How did you know I was trying to get rid of her?” He was grinning at me like I was his knight in shining armour. I shrugged still reeling from the turn of events. “Honestly, that female’s a nutcase. Went home with her a few weeks ago and I laid it out there, told her I was not a one-woman guy and she’s turned all stalker on me.” He shook his head like he was the innocent victim here.
Of course, she had, so I hadn’t been saving her, I had been saving him. Typical Ari. I frowned and Theo threw his arm round my shoulders as we walked down the hall.
“So maybe we don’t mention we just locked lips. I genuinely cannot be bothered with any more tension. Connor gave his speech the other day, so it will start him off, Matt will go all big brother ape on me and Colton…” he trailed off.
“What about Colton? What would he do?” I asked slowing my steps. Theo rolled his eyes and pulled me faster down the hall to the outside world.
“We’re going to the coffee shop. Matt’s meeting us there.” Subject changed. Conversation closed I mused.
“What if I want to go home? Or the library? Or to another coffee shop?” I protested. Theo looked at me with a slightly confused expression.
“Do you?”
Well that wasn’t the point was it! I may have wanted to, but I couldn’t think of a legitimate reason at that precise moment other than I just wanted to say I could if I wanted to. Maybe it was them? Maybe women were perfectly normal and the four of them, or even just one of them was enough to make a normal sane girl plead temporary insanity? It never used to be this complicated, did it?
I trudged after him still contemplating their abnormal effect on women and what made intelligent females turn into rabid squirrels looking for their nuts. Ok, maybe not the best analogy, I snorted out a laugh. I received a worried look from Theo and I started to giggle.
“Are you high?” Theo asked me. That made me hysterical. I was properly bent over side splitting, full out laughing. Every time I looked at Theo, I lost it. Maybe I was hysterical. I eventually pulled myself together and we walked the remaining way to the coffee shop. I kept receiving worried glances and the odd giggle erupted.
“What took you so long?” Matt asked as we sat down.
“Ask Lil Bit, she’s been laughing like a hyena for the last five minutes,” Theo grumbled. He took a large swallow of his coffee that Matt had ordered for us. I smothered another laugh.
Matt frowned at me. That was a little bit sobering, Matt rarely frowned at me.
“What’s so funny Bit?” Matt asked, he was looking between the two of us slightly bewildered. It didn’t help that Theo was obviously unsettled with me.
Identical blank stares.
I groaned and took a huge gulp of my lukewarm coffee.
“So, what are we doing here?” I asked, I decided changing the subject was better. Two furtive glances between them and I was getting more suspicious. “What is it?” I said a little bit more forcefully. Then I registered that it was just the two of them, I felt a little bit of excitement, maybe they were going to tell me why they were fighting?
“We wanted to talk to you about Jay,” Theo began. My bubble of excitement burst immediately. They wanted to talk to me about Jay? No. I wasn’t doing this.
“No.”
“Bit...” Matt began. I interrupted him.
“No. This is no one’s business,” I stood up from the table. I shook my head “We’re not doing this, if I want to spend time with Jay, I will.” I picked up my coffee, they were both frowning at me now. “Ok, tell me why. Why can’t I with Jay?” I still hadn’t figured out if I wanted to pursue anything with Jay, but I didn’t need these two telling me what I could or couldn’t do.
Theo looked away. Matt stood too, “I told you, he isn’t good people.”
“You played eight ball with him Sunday night. Him and his brother,” I countered.
“Guys, you’re causing a scene,” Theo muttered.
“Tough!” I snapped. I was holding Matt’s gaze, he wasn’t going to bend. I knew it as much as I knew my own name. I shook my head and walked out.
I heard the chair scrape back and a squawk from Theo and knew they were following me. I marched purposefully, which is fine. I can power walk with the best of them. However, when they are over six feet tall, the powerwalking doesn’t do much good. My shoulder got tugged and I was slowed down by a firm hand, I stopped in resignation. I didn’t look at either of them. I saw the two white t-shirts on either side of me and I looked out over campus.
“Tell me why,” I asked again. Silence. I didn’t move. “Tell me why I can’t see him or at least tell me why you fight?” I looked up at Matt and he looked away. I looked to Theo, he stared back at me and shook his head. “Then if you can’t trust me, I can’t trust you,” I felt like crying and I didn’t want to be here anymore, I didn’t want to be anywhere near them. They said I was family, he said I would mess up the family dynamic. If you asked me the family dynamic was already screwed and them not telling me the truth just underlined how much I wasn’t part of this dynamic…only when it suited them.
I walked away and they didn’t follow me. My heart was heavy but I had changed. I was prepared for being by myself, them being part of my life again had been so good. However, I wasn’t the girl from before, who sat in the corner waiting for it to be safe to come out. I had lost so much, maybe I would be better losing them too. Let’s be honest, I hadn’t been settled since they came back into my life. It had been a few weeks and everything was a mess.
I was quite honestly in knots over Colton. Matt tried desperately to toe the line between us, but it was a strain on him. His loyalty was torn on more than one occasion and it had been a mere few weeks. I needed to step away and get some perspective. They needed to know that I was ready to go too. They couldn’t just keep turning up and expecting me to follow like a faithful little puppy.
Ok, I was being harsh. Again. I shook my head and glanced at my phone, it was on silent as it always was when I was in class. I hadn’t had the chance to switch it back on when I had been caught up in the next piece of drama. I slowed down when I saw he message from Matt, it was sent seconds ago.
Matt: I’m sorry
My resolve hardening, I put my phone in my pocket and resumed walking. I was sorry too Matty but sorry wasn’t enough.
The rest of the week was uneventful. I got a phone call from Matt on Saturday morning. I didn’t pick up, but even though I was proud of myself for not bending, I was missing my friends. The call rang out. I let out a sigh, problem solved. The phone rang again. Matt. I lurched for the phone and snapped “What?” Well aren’t you a little ray of sunshine? I winced at myself.
“Hi Ari, mom and I will be outside in five, are you ok to meet us downstairs or will we come up?” Forced cheerful Matt was painful to listen too.
Shit, it was family weekend, how had I forgotten? I hadn’t even sent him a list of things or booked us on anything. Shit Shit Shit.
“Ari?” Matt asked again, more persistently. I knew he was worried I was going to bail. That would mean an explanation to Mrs Landers and Mary Ellen Landers was not one to be messed with.
“Sure, um, I’m just putting my shoes on,” I muttered. I hung up and raced to my bedroom. I was wearing loose cotton shorts and a pyjama top. It was 9:30 on a Saturday morning and I had absolutely nowhere to be. Why would I be dressed?
I threw my clothes off, and then stood frozen in panic. What the hell was I going to wear? Where the hell was I going? Shit!
I raced into the bathroom and turned the shower on and then ran back to the bedroom. Flinging open the wardrobe door, I grabbed the first thing I saw. A yellow sundress, it had thin spaghetti straps, an empire line and then fell in soft waves to just above the knee. A quick glance outside confirmed we were still suffering this stupid heatwave in October. Starbucks had already had Pumpkin Spice Lattes out for about a month, and here I was picking out a sundress. I glanced quickly at the dress, did it need to be ironed? Argh it would have to do!
I ran back to the shower, barely managing to get wet all the way round. Then I jumped out and was in front of the mirror with a hairbrush in one hand and a hair tie in the other whilst running back to the bedroom. I threw them both onto the dresser as I searched in my drawers quickly, grabbing some underwear. I don’t even know what colour it was. Then I had the bra off and was searching for a strapless one instead.
The sundress was chucked on, backwards. Obviously. C’mon Ari! Focus! A quick wiggle and it was on properly. My phone buzzed. No no no they couldn’t be outside. How was that five minutes? My long hair was a mess, I brushed it out quickly and up into a messy bun it went. A quick coat of mascara and I was putting lip balm on as I locked the door.
I ran to the top of the stairs and winced. Oh my God, I forgot to put on shoes! Who forgets to put on shoes? I yelled ‘two minutes’ down the stairs and was back in the apartment. A pair of simple black flats were slipped on and this time I even remembered my wallet and purse.
I locked the door again and was heading down the stairwell before I felt myself exhale. Matt was leaning against a black Lincoln looking at his watch. His head raised as I clattered down the stairs. He grinned at me, I glared at him in return. The grin grew wider. He leaned down and kissed my head as he held the door open for me and I slid into the car across from his mom.
Mary Ellen Landers looked immaculate. She was always superbly turned out. She was wearing a pale blue skirt suit, with a silk white blouse underneath. Her signature pearls were round her neck and her pale golden hair was in an elegant chignon. Her make-up was light but perfect. She smiled when she saw me. Next to her, I looked like I had been dragged through a bush backwards. I wasn’t even sure what I actually looked like. I shifted slightly on the seat. Bra? Check. Panties? Check. Only God knew in this moment if the colours matched.
“Arielle.” She greeted me. Her smile was warm and I returned the smile. Had I brushed my teeth? I genuinely couldn’t remember. Oh dear God, I’d had strawberries and yogurt for breakfast, what if I had seeds in my teeth!
Matt slid into the seat beside his mom. I sat across from them, my back to the driver. I didn’t recognise him, no doubt he came with the car.
“Looking good Bit,” he greeted, “casual but good.” I glanced at him sharply. Casual? I felt the panic start.
“Matthew tells me we are going to the Library first Arielle?” Mrs Landers asked me. I’m going to kill him.
“Yeah mom.”
“Yes,” His mom corrected immediately. Matt flushed and rubbed the back of his neck.
I noticed what he was wearing
. Dark chinos, a navy button down and brown loafers. He was what was termed as “smart casual”. I’m definitely going to kill him.
“Yes mom. Ari was really excited to see the exhibition they have on English writers. You know that’s her passion, she thought it would be the perfect start to the day,” he grinned at me. If his mother hadn’t been in the car, I would have punched him. Because I did want to see it and this was the perfect start.
“Well that sounds delightful. Arielle, I must apologise for Amy Louise, she is feeling slightly unwell. David and Jessie aren’t here yet, so Theo is looking after her at the house. She’ll join us later this evening I am sure. However, it means you’ll just have me today.”
I glanced quickly at Matt. His grin had soured when his mother mentioned Amy was in the house with Theo. David and Jessie were Theo’s parents, I had never known them to actually turn up to anything on time. Theo was alone with Amy, I bet she thought she had died and gone to heaven. My grin was a little too full as I smiled at his mom.
“I do hope she feels better soon. Theo is the perfect person to look after her,” I nodded. Matt looked green. Ha. “Is Mr Landers not joining us today?” I enquired.
Mary Ellen’s smile turned slightly sour. “Unfortunately, no. He and Jake Dawson somehow colluded to attend the football game. They roped in Connor and Colton of course. Family weekend should not be spent at the football field.” Wow. She was not happy at all. I received a full smile and I genuinely felt bad for Matt’s dad. “However, they will all join us this evening. He will spend time with his son this evening and all day tomorrow. You mark my words.”
I didn’t doubt her. Matt looked even worse. I felt sorry for him. Then I caught up to the conversation. Jake Dawson? This evening? What’s going on?
Matt was looking entirely too smug. Oh, he knew I’d just realised what his mom had said. I needed to find out what was going on. At that moment, his mom reached over and took my hand.
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