by Ari Reavis
And then suddenly, today is here, and I’m on my way to my preliminary hearing. I thought I’d feel relieved today, to finally have my day in court and be able to prove I don’t deserve to be in jail. But no, my stomach is in so many knots I couldn’t even eat the excuse for oatmeal they served this morning. The entire bus ride over to the courthouse, I can only watch the world pass me by. It’s strange that already I see these people walking around, free and doing what they like, and I’m envious of them for it. As if that wasn’t me not so long ago. But God, it feels like so long ago. And today can change all of that. Will change all of that, in one way or another. I can only hope it’s in a good way.
When I arrive at the courthouse, me and the other prisoners with hearings today are taken off of the bus. We’re brought to the same room as when I came for my arraignment, our hands uncuffed, ankles unchained. Then an officer brings me into a smaller room, where Terry is waiting. My eyes widen when I see a brand new suit waiting for me on the back of a chair.
Terry smiles. “Mariah apparently wants to take you to prom after you leave here.”
“Very funny,” I say with my eyes still on the suit.
Somehow I hadn’t even thought of what I was going to be wearing today, only of actually getting in front of the judge and hoping I heard words that would set me free. But changing out of this damn jumpsuit and into the all black three piece suit Mariah’s gotten me, every part of me already feels brand new. Terry hands me a brush, and I do what I can with my hair before my hands stroke down the beard that’s grown since I’ve been locked up. Terry hands me a comb for that.
“I was able to get a few more things that’ll help the case over the last few days,” Terry tells me.
“Do tell.”
But before he can, an officer comes into the room and tells us they’re ready for us.
“Just know that everywhere has cameras now and days, and hopefully they’re coming to your rescue today.”
“Uh, okay.”
“Ready?” he asks.
“Hell no,” I admit.
My eyes immediately look to the left and find my parents and Mariah when I enter the courtroom. My stomach knots for a whole other reason when my eyes land on Mariah. Beautiful as she is, she does not look good at all. She’s pale and even her smile is weak. I hate the thought that maybe worrying about me, and the hearing today kept her up all night or shit, from the looks of her, even made her ill. She looks like she may throw up at any moment.
Once I’m seated, Terry leans over and whispers for me to stop looking back, so I turn around and face the empty judge’s chair as we all await him entering the room. We stand when he does, and I take a deep breath when I sit back down, feeling like this is it. Knowing if this doesn’t go well, it damn sure doesn’t bode well for any trial I’ll have.
The prosecutor speaks first, laying out the flimsy evidence against me. That the fucking parking ticket places me at the scene. That an officer placed the ticket on my car while I was murdering Stanley. That my past history with drugs explains the connection between me and the drugs found in Stanley’s house. Which they claim supports their theory that I killed Stanley over drugs and money. My head snaps up to look at him when he says that Miller has told them that he spoke to Stanley before his death, and that Stanley stated he was afraid of me. What the fuck?
“Your honor,” Terry interrupts. “This is the first time I’m hearing of Officer Miller giving any statement or even having spoken to the victim.”
“We only obtained the statement last night, Your Honor,” the prosecutor explains.
“I find it highly irregular that an officer would only come forward with that information the night before the preliminary hearing,” the judge states.
It’s the first thing I’ve heard that loosens the knot in my stomach just a little. Maybe he’s not in Miller’s pocket. Terry looks over at me, and I get the feeling he’s thinking the same thing.
“I can explain it to you, Your Honor,” Terry says. “I have evidence here of a long history of Officer Miller, and other officers, harassing my client. Most notably, Miller writing him false tickets. False ones, like the one written on the night of the murder my client is accused of.”
“Go on, Mr. Coles.” The judge waves his hand at Terry.
“My client, from the very beginning, has stated that he was at a restaurant and his girlfriend’s home, which is on the other side of town, on the night of Mr. Phillip’s murder. Which I have proof of, and I’m sure the prosecutor could have easily obtained as well.”
“Why was his alibi not investigated?” the judge asks the prosecutor.
“We only have the word of his girlfriend that they were together. This was not enough to...”
“I have the receipt from the restaurant,” Terry holds it up. “Which my client paid with his debit card, and I have the footage of my client and his girlfriend coming and leaving.”
The judge just simply looks back over at the prosecutor, who looks very flustered at this moment. He clears his throat, looking down at the table and shifting through a few papers.
“I wasn’t provided that from the detectives,” he finally says.
“It appears there’s a lot the detectives failed to investigate,” the judge accuses. “Both of you approach the bench.”
“This is it,” Terry whispers before he gathers the papers in front of him.
My heart starts beating so fast I can feel it vibrating in my chest. Eyes moving frantically, I watch the back and forth between the judge, Terry, and the prosecutor, trying, and failing, to read their lips. I want, so badly, to turn around and look at my parents and Mariah, but I can’t bear to see the same hope that I feel staring back at me. Not when I know it might be dashed in just a few minutes if everything Terry says fail to convince the judge of my innocence, or at least that Miller’s lying.
I watch Terry hand different documents to the judge, who then looks them over critically before nodding and holding his hand out for another paper. The prosecutor’s voice raises after a while, complaining that it was the detectives, and not him, who missed certain facts about this case. A few more minutes and Terry and the prosecutor return to their tables. The judge adjourns for an hour, saying he needs time to review what Terry has given him.
I do look to the side while I’m being escorted out of the courtroom and yup, it’s there. Undeniable and naked hope on their faces. Everything inside of me prays that it’s not in vain. Terry comes into the room a few minutes later.
“So what was the new evidence?” I ask as soon as we’re alone.
“I got footage from the bowling alley of when he placed the handicap ticket on your car and there’s also a camera in front of your building. It shows Miller there on various mornings, putting tickets on your windshield, and sometimes just sitting outside your building overnight, for hours at a time. It’s clear he was stalking you.”
“Are you fucking serious?” I exclaim.
“Very. That man is obsessed with you. And when you get out, I would really advise you to move. He’s not going to leave you alone.”
“But what is his problem? Am I the only kid’s he’s seen get in trouble or something? Why is he fixated on me?”
“Who can say?” He shrugs. “Some cops get it into their heads that they have the right to decide who’s right and wrong, who’s capable of turning their lives around and who isn’t.”
“Fucking sick.”
He nods.
“So what do you think he’ll say?” I inquire.
“I never like to try and guess at where a judge’s mind is,” he answers. “You really just never know until they tell you. But we’ve given everything he needs to dismiss these charges.”
“And if he does, would I be able to go home today?”
“As soon as they process you out.” He nods.
Terry goes to the courtroom cafeteria and brings me up the first semi-real meal I’ve had since I was arrested. It’s only some barely sauced chicken al
fredo, but I devour it like it’s a five-star meal from the best restaurant. Shit, if I don’t get these charges dismissed, who knows when the next actual meal I’ll get will be.
I straighten my tie when we’re called back into the courtroom. Mariah looks a little better this time, some color back in her face. But she still looks nauseous as hell. I mouth Are you okay? and she nods, giving me a small smile before I turn around. When the judge walks back in, it feels as if all my hopes and shit, my future, all lay in his hands. He opens his mouth to speak, and I hang on his every word.
“I’ve reviewed the evidence from Mr. Coles, and I have to say I find it very disturbing to see the amount of things the detectives, at best, overlooked, and at worst, deliberately held back, from this case. So much, perhaps even too much to be considered a coincidence, of the evidence seems to depend on the word of a single officer. And so what I’m going to do is have that officer come in and testify to it. And it will give Mr. Coles a chance to bring forth the evidence he’s shown to me regarding some most irregular behavior by the officer.”
“Can I bring witnesses to testify as well Your Honor?” Terry asks.
“As long as it pertains to this officer, and other officers’ behavior, and not the case itself. This is not a trial, and I won’t have anything concerning the case argued in my courtroom yet.”
“Understood.”
“We will adjourn until tomorrow at nine am, at which time I expect to see officer Miller here.”
“Your Honor, I can’t be sure Miller can be here with such short notice,” the prosecutor says.
“You had better make sure. Court adjourned.”
The gavel slams down and I sit there, not knowing what to think or feel. It seems like this is good news, that he’s not just dismissing what Terry is saying altogether. But at the same time, I know Miller will have no problem lying on the stand. No problem spewing lies if he thinks it will ensure it keeps me locked up. And what if the judge believes him? What if whatever Miller has to say dashes my chances of walking out of here a free man?
“This is good,” Terry says, hand coming to my shoulder.
“Is it?” I ask low.
“Yes. It’s actually what I wanted, a chance to tear Miller’s lies to shreds on the stand. Detectives will never believe the word of someone they’re investigating over a fellow officer. The prosecutor is just taking whatever evidence the detectives hand over and proceeding with that. Hell, even the judge usually just looks at the cold hard facts of a case, without giving much thought as to how the evidence was obtained or actually looks. The fact that the judge looked at the cold facts and found them lacking is amazing. Him wanting the officer to be called in to give his testimony gives me a chance to show the judge, with the officer’s own words, that he’s a liar and any evidence brought to the case through him has to be dismissed. I was hoping he’d do it today, but tomorrow is better than a month from now Damir.”
I nod, not even knowing if I fully comprehend or can understand it all right now with my head feeling like it’s spinning. “And if the judge believes Miller?”
“It’s my job to make sure he doesn’t.”
I take a deep breath. “Alright. So one more day.”
“One more day. And I have my own witnesses coming in. I think all of it, combined with exposing Miller, will go a long way towards changing the judge’s mind.”
Assuming he means previous landlords and maybe even Ray, I nod. The guard comes over, wrapping his hands around my upper arm to help me up. I look over one more time and find everyone smiling at me, clearly trying to encourage me when it’s me who should be encouraging them. So I smile back, and it grows more sincere when Mariah gives an air kiss. Soon, soon I’ll have the real thing.
I’m brought back into the room and expect to be escorted to the larger room, but Terry stops the guard.
“We’re waiting in here for the guard to bring the mail,” he says.
The guard looks at me with a scowl before nodding at Terry. “He’ll be here soon.”
“I’m sure.” Terry gives a tight smile.
“What’s going on?” I ask as soon as we’re alone.
“You were right. They were withholding your mail. After our last meeting, I went to see the warden and reminded him of your constitutional right to receive and send mail.”
The way he says reminded makes me think he more like threatened, but I don’t care if it gets me my mail.
“He called me two days ago, saying your mail had been withheld for security reasons, but of course when I asked what those reasons were, he didn’t have one and instead agreed to hand your mail over. But since I don’t trust them at all, I told him I wanted it sent over this morning to the courthouse and given to you in my presence. And if it wasn’t, I’d be suing them. He said it would be brought over by a guard by noon.”
I smirk at him. “I thought you told me to keep my head down. And here you are threatening to sue the jail.”
“There’s a difference between keeping your head down and letting people bully you. The second one isn’t happening on my watch.”
“Thank you. I knew something had to be wrong. Mariah kept asking me if I’d gotten her letters. Broke my heart to keep telling her no. And I guess they’ve been keeping my mail from being sent too?”
He nods. “The warden said it was all mailed out two days ago when I spoke to him. So if Mariah doesn’t get it today, or in the next few days, you or she can let me know, and I’ll gladly go back to his office.”
The door opens and a guard comes in, a sickening smirk on his face. It reminds me so much of Miller that rage floods me. What the hell makes these people think that just because they have a little power, they can fuck with someone’s life whenever they feel like it? Assholes.
The guard puts four envelopes on the table before picking one back up and beginning to tear it open, none too gently.
“So there was a security risk with his mail, but the envelopes weren’t even opened, or the letters inside inspected?” Terry asks.
The guard tips the envelope, letting the letter slide to the floor. “Who knows? Maybe there was some sort of mix up with him and another prisoner’s mail. You can ask the warden about it.”
“Don’t worry, I will.”
“Are you gonna pick the letter up?” I seethe, staring at something Mariah wrote sitting on the floor.
“No, but you can.”
Maybe sensing I’m about to lunge for the guard instead of picking up the letter, Terry bends over and gets it, handing it to me with a murmured. “Don’t let him rile you up.”
The guard opens the remaining three envelopes, at least dumping the letters on the table instead of the floor, and then leaves the room.
“I’ll uh, give you a minute with those while I try to see if I can make something happen,” Terry says.
I nod, not even really paying attention to Terry leaving, closing the door behind him. I open the first letter, inhale the scent of her perfume coming off of it. I read through the first letter, hurry to grab the second, the third, the fourth. I savor her words, her love, her hope, even the details she gives me about her every day, her students, Liam coming over now since my mom is there to cook. My smile is so big my cheeks hurt, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It feels good to smile this much after so long.
I’m already coming up with what I’m going to write to reply to each letter when Terry comes back into the room.
“I have good news,” he says.
“Miller admitted he’s a liar.”
He barks out a laugh. “If only it was ever that easy. No. Since you have court again tomorrow, they’re going to transfer you next door to the police station to stay in a holding cell for the night. You won’t be able to have a visit or make a call tonight, but you also won’t have to be in county for a night. I can stay here until five and at least make sure you get a decent meal before I leave, and they take you over there.”
“Thanks Terry. I appreciate it.”
“I’ll take anything. For real, anything. It has to be better than that dog food they serve in county.”
“I’m pretty sure dogs eat better.”
“Me too.” I chuckle. “Are you sure there isn’t gonna be any trouble at the police station? With Miller or anyone else? It kind of seems like I’m going to their turf. Clearly they were able to have someone mess with my mail at county. Won’t it be worse there, even if it is only for a night?”
“From what I’m hearing, the grapevine is already talking about Miller getting called in for tomorrow, and it has a lot of people on their toes. I think we’re gonna find out just how deep this corruption goes for you to have ever ended up getting arrested for this in the first place. But either way, I did check to make sure neither Miller nor Higgins was on duty tonight. They’re not. If you’d rather...”
I shake my head. “No, no. Just checking. I’ll be on my guard either way. But I just want this to be over with. You’ll tell my parents and Mariah about everything?”
“Of course. We’ve got some time until our early dinner. Do you need anything?”
I look down at my hands, at the letters that have me feeling lighter than I have since the moment Miller put those handcuffs on me. And know the only thing I want to spend my time doing.
“Do you have some paper and a pen?”
He hands both to me and instead of a letter, I start working on a list I’ll need for later on.
Chapter 21
I’ve never been filled with equal measures of hope and dread like I am when we leave the courthouse. The judge can clearly see something is wrong, not quite right, with this case. That the evidence doesn’t make sense, that it too easily all connects, in one way or another, to Miller. The fact that he’s told the prosecutor to make sure Miller comes in to testify tomorrow gives me such hope that he’s seeing through the thick layer of lies and deceit coating this case.