What on earth is she doing?
Nick tilted his head. “Why did she ask you? No offence, bro, but you’re probably the last person I’d expect to take care of another living thing.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Remember that time he tried to flush the goldfish before it was actually dead and it came back to life in the toilet bowl?” Trent slapped a hand down on his leg. “Oh man, Olivia was furious. She called you Attempted Fish Murderer for weeks.”
“I was twelve! How was I supposed to know it wasn’t properly dead?” Jace rolled his eyes.
“To be fair,” Nick said, “I remember Adam finding a dead possum on the side of the road and trying to bring it back home so Dad could barbecue it because he overheard them talking about bills.”
“Oh God, I’d forgotten about that.” Trent made a gagging face. “Mum made him scrub his hands for an hour before she’d let him touch anything.”
The memory made Jace smile. That was Adam in a nutshell, big brother always trying to do the right thing…even if it led him to making some bad choices. Despite the ribbing, he appreciated his family. Responsible Adam, ambitious Nick, charming Trent, and dreamer Olivia. Which made him what? Steady Jace. Yeah, that sounded about right. They’d made for a chaotic house growing up, and they certainty contributed to Jace’s desire for a peaceful, fuss-free life…but they were thick as thieves. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“So…I bumped into Julia the other day,” Nick said all of a sudden.
And like that, Jace’s easy, relaxed feeling evaporated. His brother might as well have grabbed him by the throat. He hadn’t heard that name in years. Hadn’t wanted to ever hear it again.
Trent blinked. “Julia Julia?”
Nick nodded.
“What the hell is she doing back in town?” Trent raised a brow. “I’m surprised she has the guts to show her face around here after what she did.”
It was amazing how one little statement could shatter everything about a man’s world. All the security he had walking down the street without worrying about bumping into his ex…gone. The comfortable feeling that people had forgotten about the most embarrassing moment of his entire life…also gone.
“She moved into one of the townhouses in that small development at the edge of town. You know those cookie-cutter, construction-by-numbers jobs.” Nick turned up his nose. “Blander than a cereal box, they are.”
Trust Nick to be more upset by Julia’s choice of housing than her return to the town where she’d broken his brother’s heart.
“Anyway, I thought you should know.” Nick took a pull on his beer. “Better that you hear it from one of us than stumble across her at the shops.”
“What did she say?” Trent asked. Of all Jace’s siblings, Trent had been most affronted by Julia’s abrupt and public departure, having thought of her as a sister, since they’d all grown up together.
If only he knew that he’d inadvertently contributed to their breakup.
Jace didn’t want to remember that time. He’d never told his siblings why his ex had left him, and he’d hoped to take that secret to the grave.
“Not much. She seemed quieter than I remember. But maybe she was uncomfortable.” Nick shrugged. “Who knows? I heard her dad wasn’t doing so well, so maybe that has something to do with it.”
So far, neither of his brothers had acknowledged that Jace hadn’t said a word. Probably because they were used to it—he always went quiet when he was processing news. But right now, his mind was spinning like a tire losing traction in mud. It was as if the universe was conspiring to take everything he enjoyed about his life—routine, stability, patterns—and crush it all to smithereens.
First the bloody dogs and then Angie’s news and now this.
“You all right, mate?” Nick’s gaze narrowed. “I can hear your cogs turning from here.”
“I’m fine.” Jace’s standard response.
“Fine fine? Or fine, you’re going to build a blockade in front of your house and never leave it again?”
Probably closer to the latter.
“Jace?” Trent waved a hand in front of his face.
He blinked, shaking his head to dislodge the memories he’d spent the last five years trying to scrub from his brain. “I said I’m fine.”
“All right. No need to get your jocks in a twist.” Trent brought the beer can up to his lips and tipped his head back. “We’re looking out for you.”
The twilight party continued on the beach, music dancing on the night air and the waves rolling in dark and foamy under a dusky star-speckled sky. All that remained of the day was a thin, rapidly disappearing band of fiery orange on the horizon.
It would only be so long before he went home and tried to sleep while ugly memories of his ex-fiancée haunted him. Jace knocked back his beer in the hopes the alcohol might loosen the tight, uncomfortable feeling taking over his muscles.
For some reason, the thing that worried him most was Angie finding out about what had happened. The whole thing had been a nightmare—from finding out that she secretly harbored feelings for his brother to the fact that she left him waiting while everyone he cared about looked on with horror.
He didn’t want her to pity him. He didn’t want anyone to pity him.
…
By the end of the twilight party, Angie was feeling optimistic about her plans. Surely after all she’d been through, the universe had saved up a big bundle of karma for this exact moment. Was she grasping at straws? Absolutely. Shooting for the moon? Yup! Hanging all her hopes on a plan so thin it would snap in a faint breeze?
One hundred percent yes.
But sometimes the barest hint of hope was all a person had. And if she didn’t at least try to find a solution, then did she really deserve to stay?
What if you are unlovable?
She mentally waved away the dark thought and watched as the party began to wind down. All the sports had come to an end when it got too dark to play, and now people were curled up on blankets, talking and relaxing. One couple was making out in the ocean. How could you not fall in love in a place like this?
The sky was a rich inky shade, and a delicate blanket of stars glittered overhead. Truffle was curled up in Angie’s lap, not seeming to understand that she wanted some distance after the peeing incident. She stroked his fur, enjoying the feel of his velvety ears beneath her fingertips. Okay, so not all dogs were scary.
“Ready to head back?” Jace had come over with Tilly, and he had a finger hooked into her collar. She wasn’t sure why, but she felt like he’d held on to the dog like that to make Angie feel safe.
“Yep. It’s pumpkin time.” She handed him the leash, and he crouched down to clip it onto Tilly’s collar.
At this distance, the shifting light of the dark, broken only by the stars and flickering lanterns that some of the other guests had brought, Jace looked even more handsome. Even more starkly masculine. The shadows made his jaw sharper and his nose prouder. The flickering light caught the faintest undertone of red in his sandy hair. Or maybe it was an illusion.
Sometimes she couldn’t tell the difference.
They padded quietly up the beach, the sand squishing between her bare toes and her dress flapping against her legs in the breeze. She’d put the hoodie on that he’d thoughtfully packed for her, and it smelled like him—clean, comforting. A hint of something that made her insides flip.
“So what did you and Chloe talk about?” he asked. “Looked like you were very deep in conversation.”
She swallowed. Technically she didn’t owe him an explanation of her newfound plans, because it was her damn life and she could do with it what she wanted. But he’d kept her secret when she’d asked, and he’d been good to her ever since she arrived. Were they friends? Yeah, she supposed they were. She liked his company and enjoyed spending time w
ith him. She respected him. So why should she feel the need to clam up like she always did?
Maybe he’ll think you’re an idiot.
“Well,” she said, stretching the word out as though it had five syllables instead of one.
The sound of their feet—and paws—hitting the wooden steps that led up to the main road filled the stinging silence. Jace’s ability to keep his mouth shut and listen was at a level that Angie had never encountered before.
“I don’t want to go home, which you know. Uh…” She desperately wanted him to understand her position. It felt important. Like, really important. “There’s a reason I don’t want to go home, and it’s something that’s very personal. Something I’ve kept a secret.”
She didn’t dare look at him. They were bathed in pools of light from the streetlamps, and it felt like an interrogation spotlight. Any time she told this story—which was so infrequently in the last few years, she could count the instances on one hand—it made her cry. She didn’t want him to see that side of her. That weak, vulnerable side. The little girl inside her who had been exploited and neglected so many times, she’d lost count.
So she had to keep staring ahead, keep staring at Truffle’s adorable little doggy butt wriggling with each step and at the lines in the sidewalk and everything else that reminded her she was moving forward. That she could get through this.
“I made a decision when I came here that I was going to keep my past a secret. I wanted to feel like a woman going on a normal overseas adventure and not like I was running away when that’s exactly what I was doing.” She rolled her lower lip between her teeth. “I never had a mom. Not like people assumed anyway. I guess I had lots of moms, technically. And dads.”
“You were in foster care?”
She nodded. “My real mom died from an overdose when I was a baby, and my dad didn’t want me. So I was put into the system. I thought it was because there was no more family left.”
Although that hadn’t turned out to be the case, she’d found out years later.
Jace let out a puff of air that managed to convey everything she was feeling—the hurt, frustration, resentment. It was like he could encapsulate the complexity of her life in one tiny breath. He didn’t even need words.
“I bounced around a lot. Bad stuff happened…” Should she tell him the rest? It felt too much for the beautiful night they were having. It felt too much for the life she’d made here, because it was the stuff of nightmares. Not of dreams. “One of the people who was supposed to care for me…uh, didn’t care for me properly.”
It was like swallowing gravel. She couldn’t say it.
“Then I ended up with a lawyer who wanted to use my situation as an example of why reform was needed in foster care. He took Child Protective Services to court, and it was a big deal. The case blew up.”
Like, reporters and microphones and flashing bulbs and invasive questions level of blowing up.
“People said all kinds of things about me,” she added, her throat tight with unshed tears. “It made national news. Everywhere I went, people recognized my name and they knew…they knew what happened to me. Do you have any idea what that’s like? To have everything bad that happened to you splashed across newspapers and morning talk shows? To have every secret I ever wanted to keep ripped from my hands and made public? To have the whole world know that my own family didn’t want me?” She shook her head. “I guess the only benefit was that I got a big, fat payout that allowed me to leave the country…not that I wouldn’t give it all back in a heartbeat if it would erase the court case from people’s minds.”
A heavy hand slipped against her palm, strong fingers intertwining with hers. Yeah, he didn’t need words all right. The gesture was like a warm blanket and a cup of cocoa and a hug and a fireplace and hot apple cider.
“I don’t want to go back there,” she said again. “And I figured maybe if all these bad things happened to me, some good things might happen if I put myself out there—the universe would balance me out. So I thought, what if I try to meet someone, and maybe we’d fall in love, and I’d be able to stay.”
Jace squeezed her hand and took a deep breath. “I don’t think that’s how it works, Angie.”
“You’re right: I need someone to marry me. But a marriage needs love, and that is something I want. Something good.” She blinked, still keeping her eyes laser-focused ahead of her. “Marriage is just a piece of paper, isn’t it? You said it yourself. The love is what matters.”
“I think that’s true.”
“So if I find love now, then the piece of paper might come a little quicker, and I might finally be able to have a home. A proper home.” She sucked in a breath and took a chance looking at him. There was no judgment on his face. No harshness marring the handsome blue eyes and strong jaw and curved lips. “If I let these two months go to waste without even trying…then why did I even come here?”
“So you’re not…looking for a fake marriage?” Of course Jace was worried about doing things the right way.
“No. If I was looking for that, then I could have taken Paul Westerly up on his creepy offer.” She shuddered. “I want real love. I know, it seems foolishly optimistic. But life has handed me so many lemons. So many bad things. I wondered…if maybe this was my time to have what I want.”
Jace frowned, and his heavy brows knitted. “Aren’t you worried you might end up getting hurt?”
“Of course.”
Angie didn’t know much about Jace’s dating history. He was locked up pretty tight about his personal affairs, but Angie would have put money on him having had his heart broken in the past. He gave off that vibe—and she could spot someone protecting their heart from a mile away, because she knew what it meant to live life on the defensive.
“But I’ll definitely get hurt if I don’t try,” she said. “So I refuse to go to my grave without chasing after what I want.”
If anyone could pull this off, she could. She had the drive, she knew how to fit in with people and make friends quickly, and she could sift the bad from the good.
They’d made it to the front of Jace’s house, and he hovered by the small gate that protected the path to her little flat out back. “Aren’t you worried about hurting the other person if it doesn’t work out?”
She blinked at the slightly accusatory tone in his voice. “What do you mean?”
“Did you ever consider how the other person might fare in all this? What pressure you’d be putting on him to decide so quickly that he was in love?” He shook his head. “Some people need lots of time to make decisions, you know? And then what, you’d leave him if he couldn’t make a decision in your timeframe?”
“If that happens, I won’t have a choice but to leave,” she said softly. “And don’t worry, I won’t be knocking down your door, trying to change your views on marriage. I promise.”
Part of her had hoped he might make a joke that maybe she should knock down his door…or something to that effect. Maybe hint there was some reciprocation of attraction between them—even if only a sliver.
Jace was staring off into the distance, not letting her in. Not letting her see what was going on in that strange, beautiful brain of his. It hurt. Because she’d spilled her story to him, voluntarily told him more than anyone else here. Anyone else in her whole life, which was admittedly a small bunch.
Somehow, she felt like her words had hurt him, and she didn’t know why. He’d already made it clear that he wasn’t interested, so it wasn’t like she was asking him to make a decision here and now.
“You think you can find someone here, in this town?” he asked. When his gaze swung back to hers, the connection was like being shocked with electricity. It wasn’t just butterflies now but great winged beasts churning her up inside.
The way he made her feel when he looked at her like that, like he saw past every careful defense she laid down
, past every fake smile she’d practiced in the mirror as a kid and all the times she said “I’m fine” when she was anything but… Hell, he made her feel so seen. So real.
She swallowed, reaching deep for her voice. “I hope I can find someone.”
Why can’t it be you?
Nodding and muttering something that sounded a whole lot like I’ll never understand women, he reached for Truffle’s leash and walked the dogs into his house. For a full minute, Angie stood there, rooted to the ground and wanting to go to him.
If you do that, then you will definitely get hurt.
Chapter Eight
Angie woke up the following morning full of energy, and the rose-colored glasses were firmly back in place. After an hour of soul-searching when she’d gotten back into her place last night, she’d come to the conclusion that Jace’s comments were nothing more than a product of his concern. Lots of people would disagree with her plans. Even Chloe didn’t have the full story and might have responded differently if she knew.
So she was going to act like there was nothing weird between her and Jace, and if he didn’t like what she was doing, well…that was on him.
If she wanted a pre-Tinder-era kind of love, then maybe that’s where she needed to look for inspiration. After a quick trip to the retirement home, she rode her bike back to the flat, the bucket full to the brim with VHS tapes. She’d seen them in one of the cupboards a few weeks back, like some forgotten relic of the nineties. Nobody was using them, since the movie room had both streaming services and a Blu-ray player. The staff members were more than happy to off-load the tapes on Angie so they could reclaim the shelf.
The only problem was…Angie didn’t have a VHS player.
Hoisting the pile of tapes in one arm—using her chin to stop them from spilling out of her hands—Angie knocked on Jace’s door. The sound immediately caused a ruckus inside, barking and yipping and footsteps and a kettle whistling. A second later, the door swung open, and she almost dropped the whole damn pile.
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