I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. “You’re not asking me to. I want to.”
“Let’s just take this one day at a time, all right? I can’t leave you like Cam left all of us.”
I could hear his sadness in his tone, could feel his heartbreak as his chest puffed out a bit and he sucked in a sharp breath.
“I love you.” I heard myself say the words, but I couldn’t believe they had left my lips. I hadn’t realized until that moment how true they were. I truly, deeply loved him.
“Cass, I love you too. I am so sorry this is something I have to do.” He sniffled a little. “If you truly love me, you’ll understand.”
* * *
“I think you should have dinner with him.” Teresa sank down onto the couch next to me after handing me a glass of wine.
After taking a long sip, I looked over to her. “How could anything good come of that, in any way?”
She checked a text. “Sorry, Witt is just letting me know he’s running late.” She put her hand on my forearm. “Because the moment you saw him, your heart started beating again.”
I pointed down at my engagement ring. “I’m getting married in two months. Kevin, my fiancé—ring any bells?”
Teresa rolled her eyes. “You mean the second-round draft pick?”
It wasn’t a shock that Teresa was giving me a hard time about Kevin. She’d never thought we made a good couple. Just because he had a tech job and was a little bit of a geek, everyone thought he was a wet blanket. “Kevin is a great guy, and he takes really good care of me.”
“He’s so boring!” she complained. “Like tonight, where is he?”
“He’s at home working on new coding software,” I answered.
“Do you even know what the hell that means?”
I shook my head.
“And what are we doing?” She held her glass in the air.
“We’re drinking and having dinner together.” I chewed on my lip.
“Look, Cass, I love you and I want you to be happy. I support you marrying Mr. Snoozefest if that is seriously what you want, but I also think you need some closure with Ryan before you can truly know you can commit to Kevin. You owe that to yourself.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Chapter 6
Ryan
“Just make yourself at home.” I looked over at Raine in my kitchen after showing her around the house a bit.
“We’ll be fine.” She scooped Abel up into her arms, bouncing the baby gently.
Tank trotted over to Raine, pushing her free hand with his nose. Abel’s small hand gripped the tip of Tank’s pointed ear as the baby giggled away, blowing spit bubbles. It was one of the most endearing sights I had ever seen.
“If anything, the Doberman will protect them.” Ryder walked in while pulling his cut on. “You ready to head out?”
“Be a good boy.” I patted Tank on his big head before following Ryder down the front steps of my porch.
“How’s Raine holding up with all this?” I asked while putting my skull bucket on.
Ryder glanced up to the front door before swinging his leg over his bike. “She misses her dad. Fuck, we all miss Abel, but having the baby has been a good distraction for her.”
“It was sweet that you named him after her old man.”
“It was only right. We probably would have even if he was still alive.” Ryder checked his phone, rattled off a quick message and then revved his engine. “Trent is already with Buck and Holt. You ready for this, brother?”
I sucked in a sharp breath. If I was being honest, I was more than ready. Our club had been hit hard, and it was time to get everything back on track.
“Let’s go get this shit into gear.”
Ryder followed me to my president’s house, around the back to the old black barn we called home. From the outside, it looked like any other beat-up shack, but looks can be deceiving. Inside it was a biker’s paradise: two fully stocked bars, a bunch of pool tables, a meeting room, a storage room that had been converted into a weapons arsenal, a full mechanic’s area in the back with lifts and every tool needed to do our own tune-ups and repairs, and five bedrooms upstairs.
We parked our bikes at the end of the row of hogs and stallions and made our way inside, where the rest of my chapter was waiting along with a few members from other chapters.
Buck walked over to me with gritted teeth and clenched fists. His voice was low. “About damn time.”
I patted his shoulder. “Had to make sure Raine and the baby were settled in before we could come over. You don’t want her getting worried about anything we’re about to do, now do you?” I made sure Ryder couldn’t hear me as I spoke to my president. Yes, I was the vice president of my club, but I still had a boss, and he didn’t like to be kept waiting. It was Kane Buckely’s biggest pet peeve.
“Nice to see you, Buck.” Ryder came over, saving me from my impending lashing. “Is Bear going to make it to this run? He said he was going to see if he could sneak away for a bit.”
Holt shoved his phone back into his pocket and walked over to his son. “That was Bear, he’s right down the road with Jaxon. I think we should all get around the table.”
Trent walked up to Buck and me. I barely knew the guy, just knew he was from Vilas with Ryder and Holt. I also knew he was one of their better men, and someone Buck knew from being in the Marines. They were a few years older than me and we had never served together, but it was comforting having other Marines wearing my cut. It added another level of understanding to our brotherhood.
Quickly, I poured three fingers of bourbon into the white coffee mug I had hidden under the bar for safekeeping. We all tossed our cellphones on top of a pool table after turning them off. Most of the guys thought it was an over-the-top and paranoid move, but rules were rules.
I took my seat to the left of Buck as the rest of the men filed into our meeting room. Before a word could be spoken, Bear’s huge frame took up the doorway with Jaxon right behind him, peering over his shoulder.
“Right in the nick of time,” he said with a chuckle before walking over to Ryder and giving him a quick hug. Even though the reunion was nice, it was not under the best of circumstances.
Holt and Ryder were from our main chapter in Vilas. Ryder was Holt’s son and the newest president of their club. Abel Hellock, Ryder’s father-in-law, had been the president before him. After Abel was gunned down while saving his daughter, Raine, from being kidnapped, Ryder took over Abel’s title. It was weird to me that Holt hadn’t moved up from his vice president position, but it seemed to be working well for them, and that was what truly mattered.
Trent cleared his throat. “I think we should get right down to the business we’ve all gathered here for. Let’s not sugar coat it, I fucked up.”
I whipped my head around to look at Trent, and he didn’t look ashamed or upset. He was resolute in his posture as he went on with his explanation.
“Not too long ago, a woman told me her husband, Ralph, was the one who killed Abel, and we took her word on it. Retaliation was swift, and we were extremely creative.”
Buck interjected, “Bread knife, anyone?”
Everyone snickered a little. The guys in Vilas were not men to fuck with. They were led to believe their president had been murdered by this guy, so they’d taken his left thumb and cut off his balls with a bread knife. I had to hand it to their imaginations—that was some twisted, dark shit. I thought back to the night Bear and I had tortured and killed the douchebag. The entire situation was truly turning into an organization-wide affair.
“He was one of the men that was there that day. He helped kidnap Raine and held her captive. We are not sorry that he was maimed,” Trent explained.
Ryder tightened his fists as he took over the story. “However, they let us know that we had the wrong guy by trying to burn down our bar, leaving the poor bastard’s snitch of a wife burned, beaten, and dying in the parking lot. It’s time to end this once and for all.
After weeks of calls, surveillance, investigation, and some very impressive coercion by Bear and Ax, we know without any doubt that it was a nomad for the Sinners who pulled the fatal trigger. It is time to avenge Abel’s death once and for all. We all need this. We all loved Abel, and his passing wasn’t just felt in Vilas. Every chapter(?) felt the wake of this tragedy, and we need to come together to do this right.”
Ryder nodded over to Bear to fill them in on our part. “Ralph was hiding out in Atlanta, and Ax came and helped me. He’s no longer with us, but we have all the information we could ever need to make this a clean, wide hit.”
The guys all shouted and clapped.
“Now we just have to get the rest of this shit handled and we’ll all be able to sleep better at night.” Buck took a swig from his very own coffee cup and winked at me.
I held my mug up to him in a silent cheer before asking, “The guns?” I looked over to Buck, and he nodded.
“In the storage room in the back.”
I stood. “Here’s the plan Holt, Ryder, and I came up with last night.” I started to pace around the table. I needed to keep moving to look every man in the eye, needed to see their resolve in what we were about to ask of them. We couldn’t afford to have any weak links; that was how Abel had gotten murdered in the first place. “I am going to take Mac with me in my truck. We both have hunting permits set up for North Carolina and its deer season, so we’ll be able to use that as a cover if we get stopped with all that firepower. Make it look like we have only shotguns in the back, just a couple good ol’ boys heading east for a good time. Ryder and Holt will do the same. Between the two trucks, we will be able to get enough out there for this to work. Raine will be staying here and Crickett will be here in the morning. We need to keep them as far away from all of this as possible.”
Crickette was Abel’s widow. She was the matriarch of our family, and as far as I was concerned, everything we were about to do was for her.
After I took my seat, Holt started to explain the rest of the plan. “From what we have gathered, there are four hideouts that the Sinners and their counterparts are using right now. We’ll hit all four simultaneously. We’re taking out all of those sons of bitches at once. The Sinners are the reason for two presidents’ deaths at this point, and the entire organization is a threat to our wellbeing as far as I see it.”
“Aye, brother. We’re with you whatever you need.” Buck leaned back in his chair. “Now where do Bear and I come into play in all this?”
Ryder smirked a bit. “Well, Buck, I need you here with Raine and Crickett. You knew Abel and that will comfort them a lot, and I need someone I can trust my mother-in-law, baby and woman’s lives with. Who better than a damn scout sniper?”
Buck slammed his fist on the dark wooden table that had the Unacceptables skull and bones etched in the middle. “Can’t I satiate my bloodlust?”
“Come on man, Crickett will cook for you,” Ryder teased.
Buck rubbed his belly. “As long as she makes her famous chili and jalapeño cornbread.”
“I’ll tell her to pack her big pot right after we’re done with this meeting.”
“Bear, I was hoping you and Jaxon could do the fourth hit. It’s in between here and Atlanta, almost too easy of a detour to be coincidence, if you get what I’m sayin’.” I knew Bear would take that personally, and I’d waited until then to tell him so he didn’t get hasty and blow the house up on his way out to Killeen.
I watched Bear sit up straighter, puffing his chest out. “Consider it done.”
“Bear and Jaxon, Holt and Ryder, you and Mac—that’s only three,” Trent remarked from the end of the table.
“Trent, you’re going to take Jett with you and be the fourth.” I slapped him on the back. “We all know you feel responsible for what happened before. Shit happens, brother, but we’re going to make it right, and you’re a key player in it. We all know how important this is to you.”
Buck slammed his gavel. “I don’t think this needs a vote. We’re all in this. I spoke to the other presidents this morning and they send their blessings along with a small present of extra firepower.”
Our Sweetwater and Arkansas charters weren’t sending enforcements yet; we wanted to have a second wave as backup just in case we needed it. We were trying to be as smart as possible when it came to this retaliation. We were already hurting from the previous casualties, and we didn’t need any more.
Chapter 7
Ryan
I sat on my bike out in front of the Lewis family’s farmhouse, unable to bring myself to ring the doorbell. Nate was back living at home. We’d lost touch after the shit hit the fan with Cass all those years ago, but I kept tabs on him as best as I could. After failing out of Texas A&M, getting divorced, and losing his job a few years back, Nate’s twenties had sucked for sure.
Fuck it.
I shoved my cut into the saddlebag on my bike and smoothed out my gray flannel shirt. Mrs. Lewis had hated me when I was a punk kid, and I couldn’t image what she would think of me if she knew I was a jarhead turned outlaw.
I could hear her now: “You’re a general’s son—for Pete’s sake, act like it for once in your life.” It was her favorite thing to throw in my face. I knew I was a disappointment to my father and his legacy; I didn’t need to be constantly reminded of it by such a bitchy and blunt woman.
I rang the doorbell and could feel my heart thumping in my ears.
I let out a sigh of relief when Nathan was the one who answered the door.
“Hey, Nate.” I stood on their welcome mat, trying to do my best at smiling.
He stood there staring at me for a few seconds then tried to slam the door in my face. I caught it just in time and forced myself in behind him.
“Nate, talk to me. It’s been too long to still be pissed.” I tried to laugh a little. It was the worst reaction in the world, but I was nervous and didn’t know what else to do in that moment.
Nate turned slowly to look at me, seething. “You think I’m still mad about you and Cass? Fuck that shit. She’s grown and getting married. No, I’m pissed that my best friend ran out on me and didn’t have the decency to even remotely keep in touch. Not one call. Not one letter returned. It’s bad enough that you broke Cass’s heart, but to shut out everyone that ever cared about you like we meant nothing? That is some damn fucked up bull shit in my book.”
“Dude, I’ve grown up. I’ve changed. I was a punk back then.” It was lame, but it was all I could say. I had been a shit friend for years. I hadn’t known how to act, hadn’t known how to handle my brother’s death. I certainly hadn’t known how to handle loving Cass. I hadn’t known how to handle Nate being mad at me for breaking his sister’s heart, so I’d done the only thing I could think of—I ran.
It wasn’t until I left the Marines and found the Unacceptables that I started to heal and become a real person again. Yes, I was a hardened soldier. Yes, I was a fucking badass with a gun and could kill a man with my bare hands. However, none of that made me a real man. That didn’t happen until I learned what true brotherhood and real love were. Abel and Crickett were the first to show it to me. They took me in when I had nowhere else to go, sending me to Buck because they knew he would be the best mentor for me. Crickett and Abel had been better to me than my parents ever had.
“Too little too late.” Nate’s cadaverous eyes sent daggers at me. He used to be a big linebacker-looking, chest always stuck out, beast of a dude, but standing in the foyer of his parents’ house, he looked deflated, sunken, shriveled. He couldn’t have been more than a buck-fifty soaking wet.
“Have one beer with me. Just one.” I dug the keys to my bike out of my pocket and started to head for the door.
“Have you seen Cass yet?” he asked, his feet rooted.
I looked over my shoulder at him. “She said I had to see you before she would talk to me.”
“All right. You have one beer.”
* * *
Sitting on a barstoo
l next to Nate was something I’d thought about time after time when we were in high school. We had snuck beers and talked my older brother into buying us booze for parties when we were younger, but Nate and I had never had a legal drink together until that very moment. The notion was so odd to me.
“So, you’re a biker now?” Nate thumbed the top of his beer bottle.
I adjusted my cut, which I had put back on before we went into the bar. “Yeah, a lot has changed since we were kids.”
“Fuck, you got that right.”
“I know about Lana and shit. I’ve been keeping tabs on y’all since I left,” I divulged before ordering a shot of whiskey.
“Make that two, Fran.” Nate pointed to the shot glass that had just been put in front of me. He turned to face me. “So then why in the hell would you stay away?”
“I just felt like I screwed everything up and didn’t deserve to be here anymore, not before I was something more than just a shell of a man.” It had taken a long time for me to admit that shit to myself, and I couldn’t believe I was confessing it to Nate.
“Look man, shit hit the fan. I was pissed that you broke my sister’s heart, but we could have gotten past it all.” Nate threw back his shot and sucked in hard with gritted teeth.
“It wasn’t Cass. It wasn’t even you. It was me. I was too broken to see through any of the shit. I was weak and a damn coward.”
“At least you’re here now.” Nate ordered us another round and we talked about the last ten years. He told me about how his wife had cheated, how his boss had been laundering money through the business and it had gone belly up, and how school had just never felt right.
For years, I had felt sorry for Nate. I’d pegged him as just screwing up left and right, never getting his life on track. From a distance, I related to it in so many ways, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. He had been dicked over and dealt a bad hand at every turn. In reality, he was smart, prideful, and persevering.
The Unacceptables Series Box Set Two: Books Five through Nine with Exclusive Bonus Chapters Page 9