by Cassie Hart
‘I know,’ Jena said softly. She gave Rose a sad smile. ‘It’s really weird being back here. I could have sworn I saw Joel running down the hall. I feel like Mum should be in the kitchen baking or getting started on lunch, and that Dad will be coming in from the farm soon too.’ She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘How did you do it? Stay here after ….’
‘Like you said before, it’s been in our family for generations. And I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else cashing in on our tragedy, snapping the place up at a bargain price because of the fire. I didn’t want any gore hunters coming by. Finding a way to use the rumours and lies to make money from what happened to us. To you.’
‘It happened to you as well,’ Jena said. She looked down at their hands, interlinked on the bedcovers. Somehow, Rose’s skin still managed to hold a tan, while Jena’s looked stark and pale in comparison. It didn’t seem right that someone could be so sick and yet still have that healthy glow associated with bronzed skin.
‘It mostly happened to you, little bird,’ Rose said. ‘I know we don’t talk about it, and I know that we’re going to need to. Just not today. Okay?’
‘Yeah, okay.’ Jena looked up at Rose and smiled wanly. ‘I missed you. I missed this.’ She squeezed Rose’s hand, and Rose squeezed back.
‘Me too. Now, I need to rest. I hear you’ve brought a young man with you. I look forward to meeting him at dinner tonight.’ Rose lay back against her pillow and closed her eyes, releasing Jena’s grip and tucking her hands under her blankets.
Jena stood up, dismissed, and headed for the door, wiping tears from her eyes.
CHAPTER SIX
WILL
Will followed Jena back down the hallway to the kitchen. She picked up her mug and tossed the dregs of her coffee into the sink before filling the cup with water.
He hadn’t been listening in on their conversation, as such, but the door had been left open a crack and the sound had travelled through. He was going to have to watch himself, because while he didn’t consider himself a ‘gore hunter’, as Rose had put it, he was near enough that she’d probably pitch a fit if she ever found out. Thankfully, he’d managed to keep it under wraps for now.
He just had to hope Jena didn’t stumble onto any of his gear. Stowed in the barn, it was probably safe; he couldn’t imagine her willingly spending much time in there.
She was in the kitchen now, opening cupboard doors and then slamming them shut when she couldn’t find what she was looking for.
‘Can I help you?’
‘You’re too bloody helpful, as far as I’m concerned, but right now I really need some chocolate so if you could point me in the right direction that would be amazing.’ She gave him a tense smile.
He headed to the china cabinet and opened one of the glass doors, reaching into an urn for the bars Rose liked to stash there. She’d told him that her daughters had never been allowed in there because they might have broken the good china, so it was the perfect hiding place. Even after all these years alone in the house she still used it.
‘Oh, so she let you in on the secret, but never me.’ Jena narrowed her brown eyes at him.
There was just no predicting what might come out of her mouth, and he kind of liked that. More than he should. There was something in the not knowing of a situation that gave him a rush. Which was why he was here, and why he’d done his best to make sure she was too. Dropping suggestions to Rose about rest homes, urging her to call her granddaughter back to help. She wasn’t the type to take suggestions well, but they’d got there in the end with a few words of advice in Pat’s ear. The stars had aligned, and now maybe he was finally going to find out what happened all those years ago.
‘Is there any Coke?’ Jena asked.
He nodded and handed her the chocolate bar before stepping outside into the back porch where the smaller second fridge was. Why one old woman who never had visitors needed so many appliances he would never know, but it wasn’t his place to ask. He grabbed a bottle of Coke and placed it on the bench in front of Jena.
‘Are you just going to follow me around the house and pop up whenever I so much as think your name, or is there something else you could be doing?’ She poured herself a drink, knocked it back, and then poured another glass.
Will hadn’t thought he was following her around, but now realised it must look that way. He fumbled for something to say and came out with, ‘I thought I’d ask what you felt like for dinner. Rose said you used to like meatloaf and mashed potatoes, but that was a while ago.’ He watched as her expression changed, softening a little. How long would it take her to adjust to being here, he wondered.
‘Do you have her recipe?’
‘I do. She wrote it out for me when she heard you might be coming.’
‘Can you read her writing?’ Jena raised an eyebrow and then shook her head. ‘I never could. But that does sound good. Do you … Do you want us to help?’ She frowned then, her eyes dropping to her glass. ‘I don’t really know how this works. You’re here for Rose, not for us, so ….’
‘So, I’ll cook dinner tonight, and then you can do it tomorrow. We’ll take turns.’ Will paused, and then said, ‘Does Cade cook?’
Jena burst out laughing, clearly finding his question ridiculous. It was the first time she’d seemed relaxed since she pulled up in the driveway.
‘No, no he does not. Or he does, but you don’t want to eat that. I’m not sure I like you yet, but I wouldn’t inflict it on you.’ She laughed again. ‘Thanks, I needed that. I mean, I know you didn’t mean to make me laugh, but it was good. This place ….’ Her gaze slid around the kitchen walls and then out the window to the barn.
Will hadn’t expected to feel any guilt about what he was doing here, but she was so vulnerable and so raw, and he knew that feeling. Knew it well.
He was going to come across as a total creep when the truth finally came out, but that wasn’t what he wanted her to think; it wasn’t what he was trying to be.
He’d just always wanted to know what had happened, and he figured he was doing everyone a favour. Jena clearly needed some closure, Rose needed it too, and without him here to help things along they might never get that.
It was just an added bonus that he was getting something out of it too, his own kind of closure.
‘I know what happened here – the fire, and your family,’ he said, the words coming out in a rush. Partial truth seemed better than all out lies. ‘I can’t imagine how hard it is coming back.’
Jena took a slow sip from her glass and then placed it back on the bench. ‘To be honest, I didn’t imagine how hard it was going to be either.’ She let out a sigh, and he felt like he needed to save her. From this conversation, from the pain he knew she was feeling.
‘Well, why don’t you spend some time reacquainting yourself with the place while I get on with the chores?’ he said. ‘Cade must be getting up sometime soon.’
‘Yeah, maybe.’ She waved the chocolate bar at him, still in its wrapper. ‘Thanks, by the way, for pointing me at this.’
‘No worries.’
Jena walked past him and paused for a second, then carried on out the door and up the stairs, making them creak as she went.
What had she contemplated saying to him?
It was so awkward being near her, but he hoped that would pass. She’d undergone a great tragedy, and that wound had been re-opened the moment she got here. He wasn’t sure there was a way to heal it, but he hoped she’d find a way to move past it. Or, at least, come to grips with it.
Will moved into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get the meat out and start preparing dinner. The blood welled out of the mince, and the reminder of the way his mother’s insides had looked didn’t so much as make him shudder.
CHAPTER SEVEN
JENA
Cade was on the landing upstairs, peering at the old photos there.
‘Oh, don’t,’ Jena said as she reached the top of the stairs. ‘You’re going to go looking for
an old photo album soon, and the baby pics? I was super chubby, it’s embarrassing, so let’s not do that. Really.’ She came up beside him and slipped under his arm, tucking herself against his body. But she couldn’t make herself look at the pictures just yet.
‘You don’t talk about them a lot. I mean, I get it. But I feel like I know nothing about your family and yet here we are, surrounded by images of them.’
Jena’s stomach clenched. She didn’t want to get into it with him here, but then, she’d come for answers and perhaps this was the first step. Both to solving her past and to bringing Cade into the more intimate parts of her life. She slipped her fingers down and gripped his hand, squeezing it.
‘Do you want the guided family tour?’ Her voice trembled a little, but he didn’t seem to notice.
‘Oh, I do. Along with, you know, personality quirks.’
She pressed her cheek against his chest for a minute, steeling herself. ‘Okay. Let’s do this.’
Jena faced the wall, scanning for the big family portrait they’d taken, not long before ….
‘Joel.’ She pointed at the photo, where he was swinging on the railing of the bridge. ‘He was cheeky as hell, and hyperactive. Couldn’t stay still for long, always climbing everything.’ She moved her finger down to the baby. Damn, she’d been cute. ‘This is Mandy. The surprise baby. She would cry all night, but when she smiled it made it all worthwhile. At least, I thought so. My uncle said that Dad was tired, maybe that’s why they didn’t notice the fire.’
She hadn’t really been able to remember that when she was a kid, but being here now …. It was coming back to her more; the bags under his eyes, the way his mood had changed.
The strange things he’d sometimes said; things that didn’t make any sense to her.
‘So, was it him who started the fire? Snapped because he was sleep deprived?’ Cade asked, his grip around her waist tightening comfortably, drawing her back to the now. ‘You’ve never said. I don’t know if you realise that, but you haven’t. Just that there was a fire and they died.’
‘That’s the thing. I don’t really know either.’ She shrugged, as though it wasn’t really a big deal. ‘I was young and Rose wouldn’t talk about it. I can’t … I can’t remember a lot, but I think he took us all down there. He went back to the house for something, and I needed to pee so I went outside into the bushes. When I came back, it was all in flames.’
She didn’t mention the birds. She didn’t want to think about the birds. About how they had swarmed her, stopping her from getting close. About the taste of their feathers in her mouth and their claws, tearing at her nightie, her skin.
She shuddered, pushing all of those memories back into the box inside her head. Cade hugged her even tighter.
‘So that’s him?’ He pointed to her father. He’d had a mop of brown hair and was the picture of a Kiwi farmer, even in his Sunday best. At least the flannel shirt was clean, and the overalls absent, a pair of smart blue jeans instead. But he’d still been wearing his gumboots. Jena could remember that, even if they weren’t visible in the photo.
‘Yup, that’s Dad. Mark.’ Jena pressed her lips together. When was the last time she’d spoken his name? ‘And Lucy, my mum.’ She’d looked so happy in that photo, and Jena could imagine why. She had a beautiful family – she’d always wanted that third baby – things were starting to look up on the farm. Everything was okay.
Except it hadn’t been. Not really. Something had stirred in the undercurrents of her family and she’d had no idea.
‘He doesn’t look like a killer. Do you think he did it?’ Cade’s voice sounded like it was being filtered through water, but Jena forced herself to respond. She stiffened, clenching her teeth together and clamping her eyes shut.
Had her father lit the fire? She could smell the smoke, even now; a wisp of it caught in her nostrils. Sometimes she liked to think that it was the Dark Man. Someone outside their family.
Not her dad. Not her.
‘I don’t know, not for sure, but I’m going to find out. Rose knows and it’s time she told me the truth. I don’t want to think that Dad could have done anything bad to us, but ….’ She swallowed the words, pushed down the vague memories, the dreams, and turned into his arms, looking up at him. ‘It’s not enough. I need to know for sure.’
Cade peered down at her, his eyes full of sympathy. ‘Yeah, I can see that.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘So, what’s the plan?’
‘The plan is … you be your charming self at dinner tonight, because you’re meeting Rose. Is it strange that I feel like a kid again? We’ve never done the thing where she meets my boyfriend.’ Jena scrunched up her face.
Cade shrugged. ‘I don’t think I’m the right person to ask. My family is pretty fucked up too. Just, you know, be you. You’re awesome. And she is your grandmother. Who sent you away. She doesn’t get to be mean about your choices.’
Jena raised an eyebrow. ‘Please don’t bring that to the dinner table. Charming, remember? I know you can do charming.’
‘It’s how I won you over,’ Cade said with a smirk. He leaned down and kissed her, running the fingers of one hand through her hair while his other hand slid down to her butt.
She flicked it off and pulled away. It wasn’t that she didn’t need the distraction – and Cade was a very good distraction – but she couldn’t go from talking about whether her father was a killer to making out.
‘Not here, oh my god. Will could come up. He’s stealthy!’ She glanced over her shoulder at the stairs for emphasis.
Cade just smiled and took her hand, pulling her into the bedroom and closing the door behind her. He kissed her neck and she moaned, tilting her head back to give him better access; maybe a distraction wasn’t such a bad thing. But then her gaze landed on the stars on the ceiling and she froze.
‘No, come on. I can’t do this. Not here.’ She pushed away from Cade, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘It seems wrong. The last time I was here I wasn’t even thinking about boys and now my grandmother is dying on the floor beneath us. I can’t.’
‘Oh, come on, Jena. You never got to have those rebellious teen years here, why not ….’ He trailed off and started kissing her neck again, but she pushed him away.
‘I mean it. I can’t. Not today.’ She took a step back, ignoring him as he let out a frustrated huff and went to sit on the bed. How could he be thinking about sex right now? Though, when wasn’t he?
Jena should have seen this coming, should have thought it through. Should have left him back at home, because it kind of felt like he might end up being more trouble than help. She sighed and crossed the room, knowing she needed to bridge the gap before he fell into a mood. She sat down beside him. Close, but not so close that he might get ideas. She put her hand on his thigh and squeezed it apologetically.
‘Maybe in a few days, once I’ve got my head around this whole thing. We can go and explore the farm a little, find somewhere nice and secluded.’ She bit her lip and lowered her lashes, knowing that always worked on him.
‘Now, that sounds fun,’ he said, the sparkle coming back into his eyes. ‘I guess I can wait. But just a couple of days, please? You know you drive me wild.’ He growled the word, nipping at her neck.
She laughed and pushed his head away. ‘Lucky you came with me, huh? Or you’d have missed me for days.’ Jena kissed him then, long and slow, a promise of things to come. She pulled away with a sigh, putting a hand on his chest to hold him at bay. ‘I think we should get to work. Weed the garden or something.’
Cade groaned. ‘That sounds awful, but I guess the sooner it’s done the sooner we can get out of here.’
‘That’s the attitude,’ Jena said with a laugh. She stood up from the bed, stretching her muscles. It would be good to do something physical, to feel like she was contributing to something more than just a weekly pay-cheque. This was something that could set her up for life.
‘Hey, do you know if there’s any Wi-Fi here?’ Cade asked. ‘
Mobile is chewing my data.’
She turned to see him scowling at his phone. ‘No idea. You really need it that bad?’ She arched an eyebrow. ‘I’ll ask Will. Now get your butt off the bed and come help me.’
‘Fine, fine. But you owe me.’ He reached a hand out and she pulled him up and then towards the door.
She felt like she always owed him for something.
CHAPTER EIGHT
JENA
They sat around the dining table in near silence, eating the meatloaf that Will had somehow managed to make every bit as well as Rose used to.
It was too awkward to talk to Cade like she normally would, and Rose hadn’t seemed overly impressed with Cade in general – Jena didn’t want to make that worse.
‘Would you ever consider farming, Cade?’ Rose asked. She wasn’t eating the meatloaf, just a little mashed potato and peas, with some cheese grated on top. Jena ground her teeth together to stop herself from saying something about that, because now that Rose was out of bed it was apparent just how skinny she’d gotten, and she wasn’t going to gain any weight on mashed spuds alone.
Cade laughed; the sound was harsh. Jena glared at him.
‘No, ma’am, I’m not really the physical labour kind of guy. Never spent much time on a farm before, and if I have to be outdoors, I’d rather be on my board in the ocean.’
‘Are you any good?’ Rose asked.
‘Huh?’
Jena nudged him with her knee under the table. Hard.
‘I mean, pardon?’ He looked at Jena, the expression in his eyes suggesting that he, at least, thought he was trying. He could be trying much harder as far as she was concerned.
‘At surfing. Are you good at it? Do you compete?’ Rose took a sip of water, her hand shaking slightly as she put the glass back down.
Jena swallowed a lump in her throat when she noticed it was plastic. Lighter. And even with that, Rose’s hand had trembled.