She swallowed thickly, as her throat felt closed up. "Just Alex is fine, and a little warm. Is it hot in here?"
Dr. Althud nodded and adjusted the thermostat on the wall near the door.
"So my understanding is that you have a tumor in your head. A particularly strange one, at that," said Dr. Althud. "Is there anything you can tell me about the tumor that may help in its cure? Any symptoms or other things that may indicate its origin? I ask because after reviewing the blood work and other tests, I confess I'm a bit baffled. I've never seen a tumor so foreign to a brain, as if it had come from another person."
Alex hesitated at first, not because she didn't want to explain, but because it sounded flat-out crazy in her head.
"I...uhm, it is," said Alex, mouth skewed to the side. "It's my mother's tumor. I used a spell I learned to transfer it from her to me."
Dr. Althud straightened as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Oh my, why would you do such a thing?"
The emotions from that day came rushing back, the fear of losing her mother only a few years after her father had died. The room swam around her. She felt nauseous.
"I had to save her," said Alex. "She's all I have left."
"I'm sorry, Alex. I spoke poorly. Of course you would want to save your mother. But why put it in your head?" asked the doctor.
"It was the only one compatible with the tumor. It had to be mine because we were related, and because I couldn't ask anyone else to take that burden. Plus, I have health insurance due to the Halls, while she has none," said Alex.
Dr. Althud's gloved hand went to the bottom of the mask where his chin would be—assuming he had a chin.
"Can you tell me about this spell? It sounds very powerful."
Alex went on to explain Transference and the nodes required to move objects and qualities from one object or person to another. At a few points, he asked questions, mostly about the mathematics of the nodes. By the end of her explanation, he was leaning against the sink with his arms crossed, nodding.
"Absolutely fascinating," he said after she was finished. "And absolutely brilliant, if I might add. I'm a bit of a mathematics nerd myself, and your insight in using the knitting math to facilitate the transfer was amazing."
"Except for the fact that I have a tumor in my head now," said Alex dryly.
"Yes, of course," said Dr. Althud, standing straight again. "My apologies at burying the lead. Your life is at stake."
A wave of exhaustion passed through Alex. Her chin dipped to her chest as she tried not to fall over.
She didn’t see him move, but Dr. Althud was standing next to her, holding her up.
"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked, genuine concern in his voice.
"No," she said. "I feel like warmed-over manticore dung."
"Have you been taking the medicine as instructed?" he asked.
"Always. I took my latest dose before I came here," she said.
"Strange, it's almost like you've taken too much," he said.
The exhaustion passed and she was able to sit up again without help. Though she couldn't see past his mask, she assumed there was a mien of worry based on his body language.
"Will you be able to help me?" she asked.
"I don't know yet," he said. "But that's why you're here. I need to find out what's really going on in that head of yours."
"I assume this isn't going to be a typical examination," she said, glancing at the "joke" certificate from his colleagues at John Hopkins.
"You assume correctly," he said, more serious than before. "I'm going to place my gloved hands on your head. You may feel a cold presence in your mind. That will be me. Please don't resist, it'll only make it harder."
"What will you be doing?" she asked.
"Trying to get a better look at the tumor and how it's connected. Based on its location, many potential complications could arise, and I need to suss out which ones we need to worry about, and possibly help Dr. Fairlight devise a solution."
"Fair enough," said Alex.
Dr. Althud held up his gloved hands. "Do I have your consent to place my hands on your head?"
Tepidly, Alex nodded.
Dr. Althud stood between her legs. He wore a light cologne, but beneath it she smelled a wetness, like a damp cellar. He placed his hands on her temples. It felt weird to have him stand so close, so she closed her eyes.
At the moment of entry, a buzz formed in her ears, followed by a sensation of cold air being blown through her head, which triggered a stab so painful that she cried out reflexively. Bright flashes burst against her closed eyes, followed by more pain.
Her limbs lost their rigidness and she found herself sliding from the table like an ooze until Dr. Althud blocked her body with his hips.
The bounds of her consciousness crumbled around her. It felt like she'd been thrown off a mountain to spin into a formless void.
Fighting to stay awake, Alex opened her eyes momentarily to see Dr. Althud tugging off his gloves with his teeth. His skin was pale, purplish, the color of a corpse washed up on the shore after a week at sea.
Dr. Fairlight's warning echoed through her brittle brain.
Don't let him touch you.
But there was nothing she could do.
Her limbs wouldn't cooperate. It was like her strings had been cut and her body wouldn't listen to her brain anymore.
Don't let him touch you.
Words bubbled to her lips, formless, exploding on contact with the air.
She tried to stop him from touching her, but she lacked the will to put up any resistance.
As his cold, wet hands touched her forehead, the world exploded in bright flashing lights. Her chest seized, collapsing until no air remained.
This is dying, right?
Alex's last thought shattered into a million pieces as a curtain of darkness fell over her.
Chapter Twenty-One
Her father stood on the path, composite bow slung over his shoulder in a backpack, checking for deer spoor. He motioned for her to come ahead.
"What do you see, Alex?"
It felt like forever since she'd seen him. She was barely listening as she absorbed the feeling of standing so close. His dusty blond hair hung in his face, a light stubble across his jaw. He always looked like he was about to break out into a smile, excited about whatever he was working on. She'd always admired his ability to throw himself into his work.
"Did the deer go this way?" he prompted.
She unfocused her eyes, trying not to get attached to any one object in her vision, letting the patterns beneath the chaos jump out. The leafy green foliage waved softly as stiff winds snuck through the thick forest.
A bent fern to her left drew her notice. Alex stepped carefully through the undergrowth to find half a hoofprint beneath the leaves.
"This way." She pointed to the south. "It left the path, probably to head towards the stream down past the bend."
His eyes lit with pride.
She wanted to throw her arms around him, but before she could, he moved off the path, away from her.
"Dad? Where are you going?" she asked, but he didn't answer.
He kept heading down the hill. She tried to follow but her legs wouldn't move.
"Dad? Dad! Come back!"
She grew dizzy, the forest whirling around her until it melted away, revealing a masked figure in black-and-white robes.
The edges of her vision were blurry, but Alex could tell she was lying in a room with a painting of a giant sponge on the wall.
Dr. Althud stood at the foot of her bed. He was wearing his gloves.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Alive?" she offered before adding, "But generally like thin soup."
"It was close," said Dr. Althud. "You were suffering from an overdose of medicine."
"Overdose? But I followed the instructions," said Alex.
"Is there anything you can tell me about your work at Gamemakers Hall? Maybe something there aff
ected your ability to metabolize the medicine," he said.
As soon as he said it, she knew what had happened. "Oh, no. It's the game."
He tilted his hooded head, so she explained how Gamemakers Online worked, at least as much as she understood.
"So you're in suspended animation when you're playing?" he asked.
"Something like that," she said. "I really don't know what happens to us, but it's like we never left when we return. Nothing that happens in the game comes back out with us."
"I see," he said. "Then yes, that's probably why you overdosed on the medicine. You took three doses but were only out of the game for a week at most. On the good side, this means you won't need to take the medicine as often, nor will the tumor progress as quickly as we first thought."
"You say that like there is bad news at the center of that shitty candy," said Alex.
He made a noise in his throat. "You are an astute observer. While you were out, to help stabilize you, I had to enter your mind. My apologies, these kinds of deep dives normally come with increasing levels of consent, but you were dying and I felt that you would have agreed."
"You were in my mind?" she asked. "Why, if it was a medicine issue?"
"I did not know that at the time, and the mind and body are linked. If there is a mental block, then it could affect the normal healing properties of the body. In this case, your metabolism was affected, and I was able to coax your body into changing the way it was processing the medicine. I'm sorry, Alex, I see this is upsetting to you."
She realized she'd been holding her arms across her body defensively.
He clasped his hands. "Full disclosure, there were many things that I learned, both physical and psychological. Would you like to hear about them?"
"I might as well," she said.
"I bring this up because I think it will be useful for you to help form healthy relationships with others. It seems the loss of your father has greatly impacted your ability to trust others. While you might enjoy your games because you are good at them, they are also a distraction to keep you from having to form long-term attachments. I did some research on you, and your renown at being a solo platinum achievement hunter is quite impressive, but I found many instances where you declined memberships of larger groups."
"I don't fear relationships," said Alex. "I just didn't want to work with stupid people. I'm much better at solo achievements, and they're worth more money, which is something my mom needed after my dad died."
"All valid points," said Dr. Althud, "and I'm not suggesting this is a serious problem, only that it's something I learned while I was in your head. But I will point out that having healthy relationships supports a healthy body and mind."
"Duly noted," said Alex.
"Also, as I said, I explored the tumor."
"Don't keep me waiting, doc," said Alex, feeling like an exposed nerve.
"Sorry, I was formulating how best to say it. The tumor might have complications during the use of magic," he said.
"What does that mean?"
"If I knew I would tell you, but I can tell you that using magic will be problematic. The tumor sits in an unusual location, placed there through the use of your transference spell rather than grown. We have no records of another patient with a tumor like this, so we don't know for certain what's going to happen, but my and Dr. Fairlight's guesses are that it won't be good."
"Do you think it counts while I'm in the game?" she asked.
After a moment of thought he answered, "No, I don't think so based on the reaction of the medicine and the lack of growth in the tumor. But that suspended animation has a negative side. It means the medicine can't work on the tumor either, drawing out your care. It would be best if you could stay out of the game."
"That can't happen," she said.
"Then we'll do the best that we can," he said, offering a deferential nod of the head.
"Speaking of the game, is there anything else I need to do here? I really need to get back," she said.
"I would prefer you stay for another few days so I can monitor your health," he said.
She sat up in bed. A general panic vibrated through her limbs. "Another few days? Wait, how long have I been here?"
"You've been unconscious for a week," said Dr. Althud, "but don't worry, you've been under constant care. Dr. Fairlight came by twice to check on you."
"A week," she said, thinking about the time that would have passed in the game. The clan would think she'd abandoned them. "Crap. I need to get back to the hall."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Extremely," she said.
"Then I will release you from my care," he said. "But come back in the spring. I'll have a better plan of attack with your tumor by then. And remember, no magic when you're outside of the game. Even a little bit could be problematic."
When she left his office, a light drizzle had turned the streets cold and wet. She hurried to the train station, rubbing her arms to stay warm, as she hadn't dressed for the weather, thinking it would only be a routine checkup.
A week, she thought. I hope the clan is still there.
The rain stopped by the time she reached the twelfth ward. She tried to run back to the hall, but it felt like she hadn't eaten in days.
When the colorful, pieced-together building came into view, she heard voices from the industrial building to her right. A guy a little older than her with a loose Afro in a Freeport Games T-shirt and holding a baseball bat came striding towards her.
"Murderer!"
Stunned by the accusation and not quite believing it real, Alex stopped in her tracks. The guy seemed a little surprised that she'd stopped as well.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement, turning her head too late to see a guy and a girl cut her off from reaching Gamemakers. She was too tired and worn out from spending a week in bed at Dr. Althud's to want to bother with an interruption, but it looked like she wasn't going to get a choice when they surrounded her.
The girl wore a long black braid. She looked like the kind of girl who never backed down from a fight, while the second guy had a forehead full of pimples and greasy hair.
At a glance, she didn't think the three of them intended to hurt her, but she wasn't going to let her guard down either, so she pushed past the first two.
The girl grabbed Alex's arm.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked.
"To my Hall, are you really sure you want to stop me?" asked Alex.
The guy with the baseball bat moved to cut her off.
"You're not going anywhere," he said.
The girl summoned a hovering ball of fire over her flat palm, a warning to cooperate. The purplish flame jumped and sputtered as if she lacked the faez to maintain it.
Alex didn't like how quickly things were escalating, so she knocked out the flame with a Wind Gust, immediately regretting the spell based on Dr. Althud's warning. The girl bunched up her face but didn't attempt a second spell. If she wasn't a member of a hall, then using faez was a danger to her too.
"If this is a robbery, you're barking up the wrong tree. I barely had enough cash to make it back to the Hall," said Alex, hoping the demonstration was enough to dissuade them from further threats.
"We don't care about your money," said Mr. Baseball Bat. "What we care about is what your hall has done with our friends."
"Done with your friends?" asked Alex. "I think you've played one too many LARPs. We're probably the smallest hall in the university. The only thing we're hurting is the property value in the ward."
The pimple-faced guy snorted.
"Shut up, Doug," said Mr. Baseball Bat.
"Piss off, Andre," said Doug. "Clearly she doesn't know anything."
"You called me a murderer," said Alex. "You think someone was murdered here?"
Andre shifted on his feet. "We don't know what happened, but two of our friends came here at the invite of a Professor Marzio, and we haven't seen them since."
Al
ex realized she had her hands up as if she were going to cast another spell. She let them drop to her sides. The news about Marzio recruiting non-halled mages was disconcerting.
"Let me guess, he offered a chance to play the hardest game in the world," said Alex.
"Yeah, how'd you know?" asked Andre.
"Because I joined the Hall on the same promise," said Alex. "Where did he find you?"
"We hang out at Freeport Games. One day, your professor came strolling in, found us in back, and offered a chance to play the hardest game in the world. Hayden and Isla jumped at it. They came here last October and we haven't seen them since," said Andre.
Alex scratched the back of her head. "I'm sure they're fine. They're probably in Gamemakers Online. That's where I've been most of the last year and a half myself. You could easily get lost in it for years if you wanted to."
"Really?" asked Doug.
"You can't seriously think we'd buy that shit," said the girl. "It's not just our friends that have disappeared, we've heard of other kids disappearing."
"Come on, Miranda, let's at least give her a chance," said Andre. "It's not like anyone else has stopped to talk to us."
"It might help if you didn't skulk out of the shadows with a baseball bat," said Alex.
"I wasn't skulking," said Andre.
"I didn't say you were good at it," said Alex.
"Ouch," said Andre.
Miranda moved into her space. "Look, we don't care what your stupid hall does in there, but please just tell us where our friends are."
"I'm telling you the truth. When I go in there, I'll be entering Gamemakers Online. It's like the Second Year Contest, except an expansive and immersive world. It's also the hardest game I've ever played. And I didn't know that people from outside the hall were in the game, unless Marzio uses people to help test the content or something."
"He did say it was for testing," said Andre.
"For a whole year?" asked Miranda.
"Good point, but are you sure they haven't come out?" asked Alex.
"We were in the middle of a kick-ass D&D campaign," said Andre. "They wouldn't leave without finishing it."
"I don't know," said Alex. "Once you've been inside Gamemakers, you might revise that. I sort of forget that it's not really real."
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