“Better she than you taking the fall.”
“Rylan!” I could not condone that. My sister had sacrificed herself for me.
“It’s just like you to not care for yourself enough. Even in death you worry about her.”
I did, which surprised me. Even when we were in Gaia, I wanted to wring her neck with my own hands. I could no longer be resistant to the idea that my sister actually cared for me. Rylan flittered his fingers over my soul bead bracelet. Most of the beads had been drained from the fight we had earlier at the field. He tugged at the accessory but did not take it off.
“Be a good king, Rylan,” I said. “Work with Aereala to save the Drae Lands.”
“I might be a hidrae,” Rylan said. “I might be king, and I might have been raised for this. But I can break too, Sera. Seeing you go might be the death of me. Even if not physically, I know a big part of me, if not all, won’t survive.”. He picked me up like I was as light as a feather and placed me on the desk. I almost spilled over an inkwell, so I reached to keep it standing.
Rylan beat me to it and caught it before I could, overlapping my hand with his large fingers. Our fingers twined together. He pressed my hand against the desk and used his other arm to fasten my hips against his. We held each other as tightly as we could. Time ticked by as we idled like this, and with every passing moment, each second felt shorter.
I traced the edges of his back. “Dying for this people . . . lots of them are fools who are easily influenced bigots and perhaps difficult to want to sacrifice so much for. But if it’s for you four . . . that makes things easier. So please, promise me you’ll make the most of it.”
“I’ll try,” Rylan said, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. He didn’t agree with conviction. Instead, he used one hand to push his pants down, and the other to part my legs, so he could rest his length between my thighs.
I held onto him tightly, clutching him like I needed him just to breathe. He ran his palm down my spine and grabbed my hips before pushing me against his throbbing member.
I dragged my fingertips down his torso and skimmed them across the ridges of his stomach.
“I’ll miss this,” Rylan said.
I searched my thoughts for ways to make light of the situation. “I’m sure there are other girls—”
“Don’t.” He shushed me with a finger. “None of them will ever come close to you, Sera. If you think of yourself as replaceable, then you haven’t been paying attention. We could never find someone else.”
Sheepish laughter shook from my chest. “Surely, years after, you’ll get over the loss.”
His reply was a feverish kiss. One that stole another breath away from me. “Never,” Rylan said. “Even after death, after my own, I’ll still think of you.”
I laughed. What he said was so passionate it was almost absurd. With his broad hands, he brought my palm to his chest and pressed it over his sternum. “This is yours, love. Forever and always.”
My laughter stopped. “Always,” I whispered back.
His lips twitched, but he didn’t have it in him to smile. And then he kissed me again, owing me a lifetime of kisses. He pulled the fabric off my folds and rested himself against it.
“Stay,” Rylan murmured, breath hot on my skin. He spread my folds with his member and the sensation of us joining together made both my body and chest quiver.
“I will,” I replied. I melted under his touch and the way his body grazed mine.
“Liar.”
“I will,” I said again. Droplets of tears fell on my cheeks, both Rylan’s and mine.
He brushed them away with his thumb. “I enjoy your beautiful little lies.” He quickened the thrusting of his hips and took me harder and faster than I’d ever felt him. I liked that he was being rough. I needed him to be. I bit his shoulder, and by quickening the pumping of his hips.
It hurt. And that was all right. I latched onto the pain. I knew I was going to hurt him even more with my leaving.
Rylan and his brothers had fallen asleep, and we were entangled in a big mess on the bed. Micah and Kael snuggled up against me. Rylan held my hand. Gaius lay over my feet. It was nice they wanted to be this close, but they also failed to see how heavy they could be. My limbs had gone numb from their weight.
I looked up at the ceiling, which had a beautiful painting of florals lining it. Rylan had commissioned it just for me—a detailed illustration of draeroses, black with hints of orange on the edges of their petals. Like most flowers, draeroses didn’t last long. But I always thought they lasted because they grew back at the same spots every time . . . like they wished to return to the clumps they sprouted in. The artists had done a great job. The flowers glowed even though they were marks on the wall. I wondered if Bianca would have a future painting gorgeous murals.
I pulled my hand out of Kael’s and pried Rylan’s arm off my waist. Then I attempted to unclasp Micah’s grip over me. His fingers were impossible to force away. He sensed me trying to get away and did it for me eventually. My legs had fallen asleep underneath the weight of Gaius’s head, and I eased them out as gently as I could. I shuffled off the bed, meandering through the princes, and tried to make as little noise as possible
“Sera-kit?” Kael asked. “Where are you going?”
Blue gazes pried open and dug into my back.
“I just need a moment to breathe.”
Kael sensed my needing of space and let me go.
I walked out the door, down the steps and the new atira we had built a couple months back. The princes usually took me up to our chambers with their wings, but I liked being able to get up and down on my own, since we were ten stories up.
The atira creaked open and I wound my way around the corner of the building to the courtyard at the back.
Somebody watched me, and when I turned around, Micah was there, keeping me company while giving me some distance. He knew I shouldn’t out here alone. Assassins lurked about. One might have been ordered to take me. I waved, just so he knew I was aware of his presence.
The moon was a constant fixture in the sky. It hadn’t changed despite the redness of the clouds. At night, the sky was still the same black color. The stars around the moon shimmered just as they had before, fighting through the darkness.
I scraped my feet across the cobblestone pavement, wandering around the palace, sensing Micah standing watch.
There was a pond close to the courtyard. I sat on the bench next to it and fiddled with the fabric of my robes. The goddess sure was taking her time with this whole, let's-take-over-Sera's-body thing. A whole day had passed and still, no news. Did she back out? Had something happened to her?
Even with nature going crazy, the fireflies buzzed. Their bodies emanated a greenish light pulsing and mimicking the blue stars.
“Stupid Aereala,” I cursed. “Last time you’ll meet with me, huh?” I picked a rock and threw it into the pond. The loudness of my actions silenced the frogs croaking around the vicinity. The reeds here were ash too. Would the frogs go hungry like dragon-kind might? How long would the beautiful fireflies last if Gaean won? What else would he create if he managed to reset the world? There was already so much chaos and wonder in the Drae Lands, so was his ambition truly necessary?
“Stupid, stupid goddess,” I repeated, breaking the surface of the pond with another rock.
“You’re supposed to skip them,” Micah said. His voice was huskier than usual. Had he cried, too? “Do you need me to teach you again?”
“No.” I shook my head. “That isn’t how the goddess is summoned. You have to cuss angrily and do this.” I picked up one more rock and tossed it as hard as I could. A plop snapped through the air. The sound was quickly replaced by the crickets’ chirping.
I didn’t have to look at him to know he smirked. I heard it in the tone of his voice. “You summon the goddess by throwing rocks into a pond?”
“That was what worked the last time.” I spun around to meet his blue gaze. It was almost black u
nder this lighting. He walked down the few steps separating us and sat on the stone bench to pull me into an embrace. So much for time alone. I guessed I didn’t need that much of it anyway. There’d be plenty in the afterlife.
“And what are you going to do after you meet the goddess?” Micah asked. He kissed my cheek as a nonchalant gesture, before continuing to stare out at the pond.
“I’m going to slap her.”
“Slap her?” He laughed.
“Yes. On her face.” I acted out the motion. “Right across her cheek, over and over again, until she’ll know not to mess with Sera Cadriel. Then, I’ll invite her for tea and she’d have no choice but want to befriend me. And she’ll say, ‘Oh, Sera, it’ll be such a shame to have your charming spirit gone forever. I will find another way to solve my whole lovers’ spat with Gaean.’”
“Sounds just like you,” Micah said. He had one arm around my shoulder and toyed with a lock of my hair. The tip of his finger grazed my cheek, sending sparks through my nerves. Did Micah know how his little touches managed to affect me? I’d assumed I’d get used to this much contact by now. I’d been with the princes so long, I understood every inch of their bodies.
I smiled. “Of course. What else should I do once I meet her again?”
Micah had a bemused look. “Try not to offend her too much. She is a goddess, after all.”
“Offend?” I faked being upset. “She’ll be impressed by my spunk.”
“Is that so?”
Thunder boomed in the sky. Flashes of lightning accompanied the rumbling sound, showing the crimson of the clouds for a brief moment. It looked maroon when mixed with the purple of the lightning. Was the thunder an aftereffect of the rain? Or had Aereala been listening in? If so, I decided to remain completely unapologetic for being so rude.
I turned my eyes from the sky to Micah. “Yes, that is so.” I nodded and ignored the thunder.
“Are you scared?” Micah asked. He ran circles around the exposed skin of my forearm. I hadn’t worn my gloves before leaving the main building.
“Yes,” I replied. “Does that make me a coward?”
“You’re not a coward because you’re scared. You’re one if you refuse to face your fears, and I think you’re facing yours rather well. Maybe I’m the one who’s a coward. I just want to take you away and hide, even though I’m not sure where to go.”
“You’ll be here, and you’ll look after your brothers. Gaius and Kael need the most support, probably.”
Micah turned my head, so he could kiss me. When he pulled away, the look in his eyes made my heart squeeze tighter, until my lungs strained for air.
“I’ll miss you,” he whispered. He was so close I felt his breath on my mouth. “I’m terrified, Sera. I’m so lost and I don’t know what to do.”
I couldn’t bear to meet his gaze. I looked up at the vast sky above. “Aereala never told me if there’s an afterlife. When soul magic is used, what does that do to the spirits? Do they disappear forever?”
“The witches had mentioned something about soul magic regenerating in the spiritual realm. I saw it in the spell book we stole from the temple.”
“Maybe I should throw another rock, until she’ll have no choice but to appear. See if I can ask her, and then I’ll report my findings to you.”
He smiled emptily and parted from me. Jesting, he picked a twig from the ground. “Wonder if it works with these.”
More thunder rumbled through the stars.
“Give it a shot. The goddess has mood swings.”
“Does she?”
“Just a guess. She looked really mad the last time I saw her.”
Micah snorted. He tossed the twig into the pond, not giving any thought to it. It splashed through the water’s surface. A frog croaked.
Silence permeated the air for too long. Micah peered at the pond. He seemed to be staring really hard. I saw nothing, and then Micah whistled. I’d never heard him do that before. He was usually the quietest among his brothers. Kael did all the singing, and he usually did it to make me laugh.
His whistling grew, until it became a song. His voice was a low baritone, velvety and husky, pulling at my heartstrings. I’d heard this song multiple times. Mother used it as a lullaby when Bianca and I were still babes, but despite the familiarity, Micah made it his own:
Broken songs
Broken wings
The two came as one
The birds they had spun
Under the setting sun
Good lives they had lived
But their song had to end
So the last of them wept
And sang
I’ll find you again
I was so enraptured by Micah’s tune, I almost didn’t notice the lightheadedness that trickled through the edges of my mind. I felt myself slipping . . .
I heard a knocking sound. A throbbing at the back of my head came after, but it subsided almost as soon as it appeared.
The song stopped abruptly. “Sera?” he called. “Sera!”
The hushed, leathery tone he had used with me moved into a panicked shout.
He cradled me in his arms.
“Sera! Please, please, please. You can’t . . . you can’t leave me.”
Was the goddess coming now? She had given me so many warnings, but it was still too soon.
“Sera . . .”
Micah was crying. He kept calling my name. I didn’t want him to cry. His voice was distant, but his touch hummed through my skin, providing me comfort. I had already given in and accepted my fate, so I closed my eyes and brushed Micah’s cheeks, wanting to tell him there was no need to weep.
No voice left my throat.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Aereala met me under the purplish sky for what must have been the umpteenth time. I lost count. Her hand was already in mine the moment I blinked. I supposed she was getting impatient, too.
The skies were empty and the purple had red seeping into it. I wondered if this was my imagination or a natural process in the spiritual realm.
“Stupid Gaean,” Aereala said. “You should have cursed his name instead of mine.”
“You were listening in?” I asked.
“I was trying to harness my power. He did something to your body when he touched it. Makes it hard to force my essence through even though I’ve been trying and trying again. It won’t last for a long time, but it’s been frustrating.”
My brows shot up. Micah was crying for nothing. “Wait . . . so I’m not dead?”
She thwacked me over the head. “Feel that?” The peeved look on her face grew darker by the seconds.
“Yes,” I said, rubbing my temple.
“You’re alive then.”
“You said the last time that we wouldn’t be meeting again.”
The goddess scowled. Had my question offended her?
Aereala kneaded the bridge of her brow. Her skin didn’t crinkle even as she pressed at it. “Well, yes. That was before I figured Gaean managed to corrupt your body somehow. I need to wait for the effects of him to fade first, then I can enter your body.”
It was going to happen eventually. This was just him buying me more time.
“So what now?”
“I need you to use your spells again. He’s getting rid of the life forms in the Drae Lands too quickly and he’s hurting himself doing it. The levelheaded side of Gaean was extinguished through some unfortunate circumstance. We need to mitigate that. I’ll put out a small portion of my power for the spell you made me invent—thank me for your brilliant idea. It might not work, but I hope it does, so we can slow him down.”
“Extinguished? So Gaean can be killed?” This was all very confusing. Did Aereala want me to restore the fields again?
“Okay, go now.” Aereala released my hand. “I am a very busy goddess and—”
“Wait.” I caught her wrist.
“Hm?” The goddess frowned.
“What happens to souls when they disappear?”
/> “They go somewhere.”
“Where, exactly?” I peered around me. I didn’t see anyone around. “Here?” It wouldn’t be too bad if we ended up here. All I had to do was wait eight- to nine-hundred years before seeing the princes again, right? It might work, if I didn’t go mad out of boredom first.
“No, not here. This is just a temporary formulation of the spiritual world. Something I believe will be easier on your human mind, and a place I somewhat enjoy visiting. This is not how the power around me actually works.”
“I promised Micah that I’d let him know.”
Aereala gave me a hard stare. I’d also promised Micah I’d slap her face . . . would it be too much?
She seemed to have read my thoughts. Could the goddess read minds?
“Don’t you think about it.” Her expression twitched. “No, I can’t read your mind. Free will is something Gaean and I had decided for you people during the first creation. But your intentions were obvious on your face.”
“You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have offended me.”
She pried my hand from hers and the vision ended.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“She’s not dead!”
“She glowed pink like this the last time she had a meeting. Maybe the goddess is meeting her again.”
“Come back to me, Sera-kit. I promise to never tease you again.”
Was someone sniffling?
My ears picked up the sound of a man bawling. Were the princes bawling? I never presumed they were the kind to do that. If so, I really needed to see, and thank Gaean for messing up whatever Aereala was trying to do because he bought me more time with the princes.
My eyes flittered awake to see the mural Rylan had painted for me. My vision was clear, which meant nothing too terrible had happened to my body.
“She’s awake!” I recognized Frederick’s voice. The bawling had stopped, so I assumed it had come from him.
Gaius, when he replied, had a hoarse voice. “It might not be her.”
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