by Marika Ray
She reached over to swipe the sleeve of her sweatshirt down the window, revealing nothing but dark sky.
“Forget it,” I managed to say, my hands still under her bra and cupping her perfect breasts.
Something hit the window again and Amelia screamed. She jerked away, falling off my lap and onto the bench seat. My hands got stuck in her bra and I fell with her, my wrists screaming at the odd angle.
“What the hell?” I shouted over Amelia’s screaming.
She swatted at my hands, which I was trying to get out from under her sweatshirt, but her damn underwire bra suddenly became handcuffs. By the time I untangled them, Amelia was breathing hard, but it wasn’t from our kiss any longer.
“It’s the damn peacock!” she yelled in my ear.
I looked over at the window, thinking she had to be hallucinating, already congratulating myself on such a mind-blowing kiss. But there it was. The peacock’s head, staring through the window at us with its beady little Peeping Tom eyes. Shit, I’d just gotten cock-blocked by a peacock.
“Damn,” I muttered, shaking my head. “It’s kind of scary.”
Amelia pushed my shoulder. “Go! Be a dashing hero and get rid of it.”
“Why me? Pretty sure it’s obsessed with you.” I certainly knew the feeling.
Amelia glared at me and then pointed at the window. I sighed. There was only one way this would end. Me, outside in the cold, dealing with the damn bird.
I leaned in closer, my nose now only a few inches away from its beak, though a sheet of glass parted us. That beak looked pretty pointy at this close range.
“Do peacocks attack humans?” I asked quietly, determining my best course of action.
“I’m sure they don’t,” Amelia said unconvincingly.
I rubbed my hands together, coming up with a plan. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to get out of the truck and distract him. You’re going to climb out once he’s focused on me and then run inside the hotel. If I get pecked to death by a peacock, you’ll be somewhere safe when you call the police.”
Amelia snorted behind me. “Oh, look, he’s got a mohawk kind of like your mullet. Besides, I’m sure he’s friendly.”
I turned back to her, not appreciating her comparing my hair to a fucking peacock’s. “It’s been nice knowing you, Lia.” I smacked her on the lips and wrenched my door open.
The second I got my feet on the ground, the crazy peacock flew up in the air in a flurry of feathers. His bird feet landed on my groin in a surprisingly firm kick before he fluttered back to the ground.
“Oof,” I grunted, hands flying to cover my junk. It wasn’t a lethal hit, but no one likes an unwelcome tap on the balls. “That wasn’t very nice. I’m not here to fight.” I could hear Amelia cackling inside the cab of the truck.
He cocked his peacock head to the side and glared at me. Then he began to slowly step to the right. I stepped left. He stepped right again and I went left, suddenly finding myself away from the safety of my truck. I didn’t dare look away from our staring contest, but I could hear Amelia sneaking out the other side of the truck trying to smother her laughter.
The bird pecked at the ground by my feet, causing me to jump back. “Hey!”
Another peck. Another jump.
“Let’s talk this out like grown men,” I ordered him, only getting another peck just a fraction of an inch away from my feet.
Thinking Amelia had to be far enough away to be in relative safety, I stepped left again, hoping to get back around to my truck. The bird followed me, both of us squaring off, me still holding my crotch, him sporting beady eyes that wished me death. The peacock flew up in the air again, and this time, I didn’t wait for the inevitable kick. I made a run for my truck, threw open the door, and launched myself in before slamming the door.
That motherfucker landed, lifted his head, and pecked my window again.
I punched the glass and he jolted away. My hand stung like a son of a bitch, but it was worth it. I just shook out my hand and started up the engine. Looking over, I saw Amelia had reached the door to the hotel and paused for a moment, a huge grin on her face.
“My hero!” she hollered over her shoulder as she ran inside the hotel and the door swung shut, laughter echoing behind her.
What a fuckin’ night. My hand ached, my ego was bruised, and my balls had been assaulted by a peafowl.
But I’d kissed Amelia and it had been heaven.
11
Amelia
Not gonna lie, my vibrator got some heavy usage last night and I wasn’t sure what that said about my mental stability. Not the need for a vibrator. I was one hundred percent for women using them to satisfy their own needs. I meant the fact that I only had one man in mind each time I flipped that switch on.
Fucking Titus Jackson.
My best friend.
It was only six in the morning and I had a full day of stuff to do around the hotel. And yet, I found my fingers typing out an SOS via text message to my gaggle of girls. The Hell Raisers were the only ones who could set me straight. I needed a clear answer on what direction to take. Getting a phoenix tattooed on my back was supposed to mean I was starting over in life. As in, getting over Douchebag and getting back on the path to owning my own B&B. Looking after myself and not letting a man derail me.
Titus was a freaking freight train coming in the opposite direction, blindsiding me and pushing me off the rails. And even though my heart pounded double time just thinking about the way he’d felt between my legs, his hands dancing across every square inch of my skin, and the way he’d shooed off a peacock just so I could get safely inside, I wasn’t sure letting a man turn my head was the smartest thing to do. Was I just repeating a bad pattern?
Amelia: Ladies, we need to chat. In person. STAT
Lucy: I’m on my way to the apple orchard with Roxy. You’re welcome to come if you don’t mind a toddler hijacking the convo at inappropriate times.
Hazel: Oh! I’d love to pick some apples! I have an idea for an upside-down apple cake!
Lenora: What kind of problem are you having? I just need to know whether to bring toys from my shop or just alcohol.
Amelia: Hmm…both??
Hazel: My favorite kind of party! Sex toys and alcohol!
Finnie: I’ll be a designated driver as it seems y’all might be plastered by the time we leave with our apples.
Lucy: Same. ; )
Amelia: Okay. See you in an hour. I have to call in sick and sneak out.
The rows of apple trees went on for seemingly miles. There was something so comforting about the smell of apples in the crisp fall breeze. The sun was out, but the wind kept me tugging my sweater around me. I’d been coming here to pick apples every year for my whole life, sometimes with my mom, sometimes with friends, but this time, I wasn’t focused on the activity. I kept one eye on Roxy darting under the canopy of tree leaves, each shiny apple drawing a gasp of excitement, but focused on telling the girls what had happened between Titus and me last night.
“What? That’s amazing!” Hazel jumped up and down, dropped her basket of apples, and slammed me in a bear hug.
I chuckled at her enthusiasm, but sobered when the rest of my friends gave me more tempered smiles. My stomach was in knots from putting it all out there, but then again, these were my girls. If I couldn’t trust them, I couldn’t trust anyone.
“So? What should I do?” I asked, shifting from foot to foot.
“I think you should do Titus,” Lucy answered with a cheeky grin.
“Hear, hear!” Finnie added, everyone cracking up.
My cheeks flushed red, and I had to admit, the molten heat spreading through my core told me I liked that idea very much indeed. And that made me so jumpy, I put my hair up in a bun just to have something to do with my hands.
“He’s ridiculously hot, I’ll give you that. I mean, who knew the lanky kid would grow into his limbs and then grow slabs of muscle?” I had to take a deep breath to calm my he
art rate thinking about him outside the hotel without his shirt on. “But I’m so worried we’ll ruin everything if we do. Like, what if we sleep together and it’s horrible? Or it’s good, but we don’t last as a couple and then we’re awkward around each other? I’ve been friends with him since sixth grade! I can’t be flippant about possibly ruining all that!”
I started walking, then realized they weren’t following me. I turned around to find them all giving me patient little smiles that sparked irritation. I hated not being in on a secret.
“What?”
Lenora stepped forward. “I don’t know for sure, but it seems to me that Titus has been harboring ‘more-than-friends’ feelings for you for years, so I doubt acting on those feelings will really change anything. If you both feel the same way now, that would mean you’d get along even better, right?”
I tilted my head and considered what she said. Something about the idea of Titus always having had feelings toward me set my stomach into a flip-flopping frenzy. “I don’t know about that. We’ve just been friends. That’s it.”
“I only moved here recently, so I only saw Titus when you were dating Daire, but I thought he was perennially grumpy. Only after you broke up with Daire, did the free-spirited Titus show up. I’ve always thought Titus had feelings for you.” Finnie lifted a shoulder.
Roxy slammed into Lucy’s legs, almost bowling her over. When she’d righted herself, she propped Roxy up on her hip, bucket and all. “Trust us when we say there’s always been some unrequited feelings on his end. But that’s not important. What’s important is how you feel about him.”
I sighed and gestured for us to walk down the sloped hill. We needed to pay for our apples and give Lucy a rest from carrying Roxy. “I guess I’ve always just put him in the friend box and didn’t even consider anything else. This new development is startling.”
Hazel snorted. “He punched Jake in the nose junior year after he broke up with you. ‘Just friends’ don’t do that.”
I nearly stumbled over a rock in the path. “What? He never told me that.” I knew he’d broken up with his girlfriend to take me to prom, but he never said he and Jake got into a fight.
“Remember when your car wouldn’t start that one night we were all set to go to a bonfire?” Lenora asked softly.
I frowned, barely remembering that night from probably six years ago. “Yeah, vaguely. It started right up the next morning, though.”
“Uh-huh. That’s because Titus spent hours fixing it in the parking lot of the hotel while we got drunk around the campfire.”
I spun around, dust flying over the toes of my black boots. “What?” My heart started beating dangerously fast.
“He wasn’t at the bonfire that night, if you recall. He stayed back to work on your car so you wouldn’t have to pay for it to get towed to the mechanics,” Lenora said gently.
My jaw dropped open and, for once, I had no words. I’d also had no idea that Titus had done both of those things. How blind was I? And how many more things had he been doing for me that I just never noticed?
Finnie put her hand on my waist and gently guided me down the path. We paid for our apples and had a seat at one of the wooden picnic tables set up outside the line of trees. My brain scrambled, trying to make sense of this new information. Titus had always been sweet to me, doing little things he knew I’d like. I’d chalked each and every one of those times up to him being my best friend. If he’d had feelings for me this whole time, how could I have missed it?
Hazel set down the picnic basket, got out five red Solo cups, and got to work on the cork on the bottle of rosé she’d brought for us to share. When she’d poured us each a small cup, we toasted to good friends and took a sip.
“But…but he’s dated all those women!” I sputtered, louder than I intended. I looked around and made sure no one milling around was paying us any attention.
“Mommy, who she talk ’bout?” Roxy asked, fidgeting on the picnic bench.
“Oh, just some boy,” Lucy answered.
“Ew. Boys yucky!”
We all laughed at Roxy’s summation of the male species. She wasn’t entirely wrong. But they could also be annoyingly yummy. Lucy pulled out a coloring book and a bazillion crayons for Roxy to play with. Then she turned to me, one eyebrow raised in challenge.
“Have you noticed that he’s only dated ‘all those women’ for like a week?”
“Think about it. He’s never dated anyone seriously or for long term. Why do you think that is?” Lenora asked.
I sat silently, absorbing everything they’d said. I was stunned. Stunned by the idea of Titus having feelings for me for years. Shocked I’d been so blind the whole time. Irritated by my own inability to accurately read someone I claimed to be best friends with. Pushing the wine away, I put my forehead in my hands.
“’Cause he’s got the hots for you, silly girl!” Hazel supplied when I let the silence go on too long.
I took a heavy sip of wine to buy myself some time.
“Why do you think that is, honey?” Lenora asked sweetly, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and squeezing me tight just when I felt everything I knew was falling apart.
Lucy cleared her throat and darted glances at Roxy’s head bent over her coloring book. “Here, Amelia. You can drink mine.” She slid her Solo cup to me on the table.
I frowned. Sharing your wine was a nice gesture, but it seemed a bit odd. All of us girls found reasons—from mundane to ridiculous—to imbibe whenever we could, so her offering up her portion was suspicious.
“Wait. Are you saying…?” Finnie let her question hang in the charged silence around the table.
Lucy’s face split in a huge grin and her eyes filled with tears. “Yep!”
We all charged at once, hugging her and giving her congratulations on her news. This was a secret I was all too happy to keep for now. Another little Sutter baby.
“Yay, Mommy!” Roxy cheered, clapping her hands even though she had no idea what we were celebrating.
We all laughed and sat back down while Lucy wiped her eyes.
“What did the warden say?” I asked.
Lucy bared her teeth. “I haven’t told him yet.”
“What?!” Hazel shouted.
“Shh,” Lucy shushed her, which was smart. You never knew where Poppy could be lurking. That woman could sniff out gossip from a mile away. “We’ve been trying for a while now and Bain’s really into it. Like, every night. I haven’t wanted to tell him for fear he’ll stop giving it to me. Mama needs the big D,” she grumbled, running her thumb along a crack in the wood.
We all burst out laughing at her pout. Lucy was crafty, that was for sure.
“So, when are you going to tell him?” I asked, eyes wide. Bain was liable to take his grumpy nature into overdrive if he found out she was keeping something important from him.
Lucy looked left and right, not meeting our gaze. “When I start showing?”
Lenora let out a hoot and the rest of us cracked up.
This was just what I needed. My crazy-ass friends whose lives were just as messy as mine. Everything would be okay. I just had to start opening my eyes and being more aware. Maybe then I could figure out if Titus and I could make a relationship work.
12
Amelia
“We haven’t seen you in forever. I’m making my chili and corn bread and you will be here at my dinner table tonight.”
When Mom got bossy, you just answered with “yes, ma’am” if you knew what was good for you. Which was how I found myself driving over to my parents’ house that night after napping away the two glasses of wine at the apple orchard. My brain had been sorting through memory after memory of Titus and me growing up, trying to see if I’d missed more clues to his true feelings.
I had to admit, seen through the lens of infatuation, everything he’d done for me over the years could have been from a place of love. And I wasn’t talking about the friendly kind of love. Like “love, marriage, and a baby
carriage” kind of love. With lots and lots of sex, because I wasn’t doing that marriage thing without lots of guaranteed horizontal times.
And that thought just sent my whole body up in flames again, thinking of how good Titus felt last night. How every kiss had felt familiar and yet brand new. A place of comfort, yet exhilarating at the same time. I should be majorly freaking out after kissing my best friend, and believe me, I was having a hard time keeping my brain from spinning out of control, but it was only a mild disorienting freak-out. A three on a scale of ten where ten meant weeks of drunkenness ending in a new tattoo on my face and one being a simple shoulder shrug.
I pulled up in front of the house I’d grown up in, seeing the tree in the front yard I’d climbed with Titus over the years. He’d helped me carve my initials into the trunk so far off the ground my sisters couldn’t deface it.
My older sister’s cruiser was parked at the curb. She was a cop in a neighboring town, but apparently she’d gotten the mom guilt call for dinner too. I parked behind her and climbed out of the car, coaching myself to get my head off Titus and focus on my family. Thinking about Titus just led me to remember how his rough hands had cupped my breasts so carefully. If I didn’t get my thoughts in order, I’d spend the whole night with damp undies and a flaming face. My sisters would eat me alive in that state.
I threw open the door without a knock because I’d grown up there and therefore had the right to come and go as I pleased, no matter what my parents had to say about it. Was it really home if you couldn’t just barge in whenever you pleased?
“Amelia!” Esme and Izzy shouted at the same time, rushing over to hug me in a twin sandwich.
“Hey, girls. I didn’t know you’d be here too.” The two of them had finally moved out of the house into their own place last summer.