“Absolutely. That sounds like fun. I’m sure you’re busy until after the wedding, but Saban and I will be ready when you are.”
“I’m sure we can find some time to relax and unwind before the wedding. The time away from the planning will do us all some good.”
He’s persistent, I’ll give him that.
Saban trots out of the palace just in time to save me from continuing this small talk. I’ve never been skilled at idle chitchat, even with my friends back home. I prefer comfortable silence over painful conversations that go nowhere.
Saban snakes his arms around my waist, pulling me tightly against his chest. “I’m so ready for a quiet walk in the woods with you. Are you ready to go now?”
“That sounds perfect. Let’s get lost for a while.” Any reason to get away from the prying eyes around here is a good excuse.
We say our goodbyes to Gerard and begin walking toward the trail leading into the forest. Saban wraps his big hand around mine, and the connection between us fires on all cylinders, lighting up all my senses at once. He feels it too, and our gazes quickly shift to find the other.
“Why do all the solutions to all the problems I’m dealing with seem so much clearer when I’m with you? We have these meetings, yet so many still seem angry and ready to go to war. And for what? Because they won’t accept reason.”
His pensive expression catches me off guard. These arguments over mages are taking a toll on him, pulling him in opposite directions and making it impossible for him to find a solution. The sudden vise around my chest makes it hard to breathe. How can I tell him the truth of what’s to come? How can I admit to the facts I’ve purposely kept from him?
“What solution seems clearer now?” I feel like an undercover spy, asking questions and gathering secret intelligence to use against him later.
His sincere smile only makes me feel worse.
“Love. Love is the answer. If we simply accept others as they are, allow our strengths and weaknesses to balance us as a kingdom, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, we’d be a much stronger nation.”
The trail into the forest is wide enough for us to walk side by side, but he puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me against his side anyway. I wrap my arms around his waist, and we meander along the path, in no hurry to get anywhere specific. The creatures of this world still fascinate me, even after the weeks I’ve spent here. Colorful and different, the trees, birds, insects, and animals still hold my attention.
I stop along the way and bend over to admire a gorgeous flower in full bloom. Saban watches me with an amused expression. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You find beauty in the most ordinary objects, the things everyone else passes by without a second glance. Like this bloom everyone else only sees as a weed. But not you, Sara. You inspect it, touch it, smell it, ooh and aah over it. Your enthusiasm for the simple things in life makes me rethink everything I’ve ever believed. You amaze me, and I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without you in my life.”
His words strike a chord deep inside me. I stand up straight and stare at him wordlessly. Without any experience in this arena, I don’t know how to respond to him. So, I do what I always do—I deflect the sweet compliment he just gave me. “I’m sure you’ve managed just fine without me around, Saban. When we first met, you had an entire horde of girls surrounding you, all desperate for your attention and affection. Any one of them would still kill me if it meant you’d choose her. Granted, I’m not like any of them, so I’m sure that makes anything I do seem odd by comparison.”
He steps toward me with a predatory swagger in his step and a sexy smirk on his face. “There’s no comparison to you. Those girls aren’t worth a minute of my time—none of them. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were the one for me. I’m simply waiting for you to realize the same about me so we can tell the rest of the kingdom. I’m ready whenever you are, my love. However long that takes.”
I’ve tried not to use my powers for ill-gotten gain, I really have. But I find myself crossing the line between need and want when it comes to prying in his thoughts. I’ve heard my fair share of smooth lines from guys with a forked tongue. What he just said is either the best pickup line in history, or he’s the most understanding man in the world. He knows I’m hesitant and he feels my doubts, but he’s willing to give me time to work it out on my own.
When I open myself to his thoughts, a wave of affection hits me with the full force of a tsunami. His thoughts filter through, hoping I feel the same eagerness to take our relationship to the next level and a desire to express his love for me. Simply knowing my feelings don’t match his nearly brings tears to my eyes. The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but I can’t force myself into something that doesn’t exist on its own.
“Saban, I hope you know I’m not playing any games with you or stringing you along. My life hasn’t been easy, and I have a hard time trusting others. This feeling between us is so new, so out of character for me, I don’t know what to do with it. These are my issues, my flaws, I know, and you shouldn’t be the one to pay for them. I’m not capable of just opening up and throwing my heart out there so soon.”
“You don’t have to explain it to me. After my dad died, I shut everyone out for a long time, even though I still had the rest of my family. You didn’t have that luxury, so it makes sense that you’re more guarded. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here, waiting for you regardless of how long it takes for you to feel comfortable committing yourself to me. One day you’ll realize I’m willing to stand by your side, no matter the cost.”
He leans in and presses his lips against mine. This kiss doesn’t have the heat and urgency in it that the others have. It’s much more chaste, but it also holds so much more depth and meaning. He’s declaring his love for me without expecting me to say he’s my soul mate too.
My heart shatters into a million pieces in my chest, stabbing me with the jagged edges for extra measure.
I could take the easy road and give in to the incredible fondness I already feel toward him. What I feel for him is as close to love as can be, I know that deep down. If I never reveal who I am, I could live happily ever after with my soul mate in the same palace I’m in now. If I deny my true self—the mage and the heir to the throne—at this moment, I’ll make him the happiest man in Covis Realm. In return, he’d do everything in his power to make me the happiest woman.
But I can’t do any of those things.
If he’s my soul mate, why aren’t my feelings as strong as his? Why can’t I bring myself to say I love him? Isn’t that what normal couples do? Those three little words feel as though they’ll choke me to death.
If we’re meant to be together forever, why am I caught in this deceit about who and what I am?
And that’s the crux of the matter. I can’t give him all my love without sharing all of myself.
“I don’t deserve you, Saban.” No truer words…
“You deserve so much more. Let me spoil you while you’re making up your mind. I know you love me, you’ve already told me in so many words. Maybe it’ll help speed along our soul mate status.” He winks, letting me know he’s at least partially kidding. He picks the flower I was admiring and slides it into my hair behind my ear. “That flower doesn’t hold a candle to your beauty, princess.”
We continue our trek through the trees, with me pointing out every animal, tree, and flower that’s in our path. Saban’s amusement with my antics continues, and the ease between us grows. We laugh and poke fun at each other, growing emotionally closer with every physical step we take.
When I reach for his hand, he falters for a moment before falling back into step with me. I look up at him with my brows lifted. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. That’s just the first time you’ve initiated contact with me since we’ve been out here. It feels good to know you want me too, at least a little.”
I squeeze his hand in reply, be
cause any words I’d respond with would only kill the moment. My hesitancy is amped up only because of my secrets, I’m sure of it. Under normal circumstances, I’d already be head over heels in love with this handsome, romantic man.
He is very handsome, and he’s definitely in love with you. That’s obvious without reading his mind. Laurelai is close to us, watching from the shadows.
Laurelai, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve missed you. Besides being handsome, what else do you think about Saban? I search the forest around us for a glimpse of her golden fur, but she’s well hidden.
Unfortunately, I won’t ever know how his jugular tastes. He’s not a threat to you. But something about him is odd… Her thoughts trail off.
Don’t leave me hanging here. What’s odd about him?
I can’t read his spirit energy. It’s not there. She growls under her breath, aggravated with the lack of information.
His aura is missing? How can that be? What does that even mean?
It means it’s hidden from us on purpose. But I can’t tell if he did it or someone else did it to him, though.
Nothing is easy in this world. Just once, I’d like a cut-and-dried answer. Black-or-white. Yes or no. Friend or foe. There are way too many shades of maybe here, and I don’t deal well with ambiguity.
Chapter 16
Now that Laurelai mentioned it, I can’t help but notice the missing energy that should be surrounding Saban. Why haven’t I noticed that before now? Apparently, I’ve been too wrapped up in training, working, hiding my own secrets, and in Saban himself. Is this why I’ve resisted giving in to my growing affection for him? Or is this simply another riddle to be solved?
It’s not as if I don’t have enough on my plate already.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Saraya.
That voice again. I have to know if it’s her. With all the energy I can muster without being obvious, I gather the light into me and channel it to speak to my grandmother.
Nana, is that you?
Yes, sweetheart. It’s me, and I’m fine. Now, quit worrying about me and do what you know you should. The sooner you’re queen, the faster we can put all this behind us.
But you never told me any of this. Why would you keep all this from me?
Remember the stories I used to tell you. Everything you need to know is in them.
Those damn tales will be the death of me. I didn’t know there would be a literal life-or-death test over them, or I would’ve listened more closely.
“Do you remember anything about your parents?” Saban’s question pulls me from the pit I fell into with my thoughts.
“No, I don’t. I never knew them. They were killed during the mage attacks.” Technically, that is a factual statement and I did not lie.
“I’m so sorry, princess. I had no idea. This latest round of debates whether to allow mages to live freely among us must upset you. Especially the people who are in favor of removing the restrictions.”
Removing the restrictions? That’s an interesting way of sugarcoating the truth. But I can’t say that, so I find a more diplomatic answer.
“No, actually, that doesn’t bother me at all. What upsets me is how they’re not treated as equals and given a chance to live their lives. The cowardly actions of a select few shouldn’t define an entire race. Can you name one perfect person from any kingdom? I mean, technically, I’m a criminal, and Rycan should’ve been allowed to kill me for being on his land. Does that mean I’m a threat to you and the elves for the rest of time?”
“Persuasive argument. Maybe you should’ve been in politics.”
He sits on a fallen tree and pulls me between his legs. Standing so close to him sets my entire body on fire. His natural masculine scent mixes with the aromatic cedar and pine trees for a heady cologne. He wraps his muscular arms around my back and pulls me to him until we’re only a breath’s width apart. My heart races and my chest heaves with harsh breaths as if I’ve just finished running a marathon. I can’t deny my innate and carnal reaction to him.
“I’m not sure I have the temperament for politics. The first time someone made me mad, I’d tell them exactly what I thought of them. It wouldn’t end well.”
“You know, I don’t doubt that for one minute.” He smiles—a real one that melts me where I stand. That loud pitter-patter noise is my heart pounding against my rib cage. He’s gentlemanly enough to pretend he doesn’t hear it or see my shirt moving like I’m smuggling a jumping bean in it. “How about you use that beautiful mouth for something more fun right now?”
Before I can answer, our lips are fused. His tongue swipes across the part in my mouth. I release a whimper, giving him an open invitation. The warmth of his tongue invades my mouth, twirling and twisting around mine. My blood is rushing so fast through my veins, all I can hear is the sound of my pulse thrumming in my ears.
He slides his hands across my cheeks, threading his fingers in my hair. He closes his grip and uses it as leverage to tilt my head, gaining better access to deepen our kiss. My nails dig into his shoulders, holding on for dear life so I don’t float away on a cloud of ecstasy. Emotion floods my chest, butterflies invade my stomach, and all reason escapes from my consciousness.
An innocuous thought swirls in the recesses of my mind until it’s finally front and center, unyielding and resolute. All that’s standing in my way of giving my heart to him completely…is me. I’m holding myself back, looking for a way to run before he has a chance to abandon me down the road. No matter how many times he’s declared his intentions and stressed our connection is for the rest of our lives, I’ve been waiting for the trap door of death to open under my feet.
“Is this real, Saban? Or is this a fleeting infatuation that will disappear right before my eyes?” I whisper to him to keep the universe from hearing my question and taking it as truth.
“This is as real as it gets, princess. You and I are destined to be right here, right now, sealing our love for all time. Don’t worry your pretty head over anything, though. I’m not rushing you. We have the rest of forever, and I’m willing to wait for you. There’s no time limit on my devotion.”
“Aww, aren’t they sweet? Two humans in love, enjoying the last hour of daylight in the forest. Don’t they know nighttime in the forest belongs to us?”
We swivel our heads in the direction of the angry female voice taunting us. I’ve heard all about witches and warlocks, but I haven’t encountered any before now. Addi and Aris both warned me about their nasty demeanor and penchant for causing trouble when we practiced protective enchantments, counterspells, and defensive magic. Their auras are all glowing red, confirming they’re more than ready to throw dark magic our way and watch us squirm.
While Saban’s attention is focused solely on the five witches, I pull all the white light into me that my body can hold. Then I silently chant until the protective magic surrounds us. The group advances on us, separating and moving with offensive posturing. I release a lash of energy in their direction—a warning shot over their heads—and they stop in their tracks. Then I cut my eyes to Saban to gauge if he realizes anything just happened. When I’m sure he’s completely unaware, I send out another strong warning.
“You’re in my kingdom, witches. Attack me and see what happens to your entire coven. I dare you.” Saban stands tall, ready to fight to the death. But I’m not prepared to see that happen. His honor won’t let him back down, and their magic won’t allow them to lose. He can’t win this fight alone.
With my gaze locked on the leader, I channel my thoughts directly to her. Leave while you still can walk away. I won’t give you a second warning.
The energy around us hums, buzzes, and crackles like dry lightning. It’s visible to them now, but Saban doesn’t appear to see it. When one takes another step toward us, the protective lightning strikes her, and she leaps backward.
A low, ominous growl from the dark shadows brings another warning and an extra layer of danger. Laurelai is poised to attack from her
vantage point in the tree. She has the high ground, and the witches know they don’t stand a chance when they can’t even see her until it’s too late.
“Let’s go, ladies. We have work to do. These two aren’t worth the effort.” The leader glares at me as she backs away, afraid to turn her back to me until she’s out of my line of sight.
“Maybe I should take you back to the palace now. I’m not afraid of them, but I don’t want you to get hurt.” Saban turns, pulls me into his arms, and places a long kiss on my forehead. “Are you okay, princess?”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. But if you’re ready to go back, that’s okay with me. It’s starting to get dark anyway. Maybe tomorrow, we can head out early to spend the day exploring and enjoying our time in the woods.” I lift up on my toes and press my lips against his.
I don’t want to appear too eager to leave his side, but inside, I’m dying to get back to the palace and talk to Addi. Those witches outnumbered me five to one, yet they were quick to back down. There’s more to this story, and I’ve had a sneaking suspicion they’ve all been holding out on me during my training. It’s time for someone to come clean with exactly what’s happening with me and all the energy vibrating through my entire body.
“I’d feel better knowing you’re safe and sound inside the palace.” He leans his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry a bunch of witches ruined our plan to lose our way tonight. People like them are exactly why the magic debate is still so contentious.”
“It’s not your fault. We’ll just plan to get lost later.”
We walk back toward the castle at a brisker pace than when we wandered into the forest, but I understand his apprehension of running into them again. They could bring more backup next time, and my magic may not be enough to fend them off. For both our safety, this is the best decision.
Cloaked: Easthaven Crest, Book One Page 12