“I’m not stupid, Saban. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on. I have a few things to say to you before I leave. You will regret this decision for the rest of your life. I never would’ve betrayed you like this. At the first test of your honor, you abandoned me after whispering so many words of love in my ear. Even now, you stand here in front of my face, unable to tell me the truth of your own volition. You’re not at all the man I thought you were. The truth is, you’re still a scared little boy who’s seeking parental approval.”
I don’t wait for a reply before turning to leave him standing in the doorway, slack-jawed and wounded. There’s nothing he can say now to soothe my raw emotions. But there is one more thing I have to say before I leave the palace. I stop halfway down the hall and look back over my shoulder. He’s watching me, on the verge of chasing after me.
But it’s too late. His treachery has been revealed.
“And by the way, what kind of leader takes orders from his mommy? That’s not quite the makings of a true king, is it? I’d say your subjects and fellow kings would question your ability to rule if they knew that.”
His fingers curl around the doorframe, his knuckles turning white from his tight grip. A thin line forms where his lush lips once were. A deep red tinge fills his face. But his feet are rooted to the floor, and he does not attempt to speak. He knows what I’ve said is true, no matter how blunt or harsh my words are.
Sometimes, the truth hurts. Now we’ve both learned that lesson.
When I turn the corner, headed back to my room, Gerard steps out of his room and immediately stops when he sees the stern expression on my face.
“Is something wrong, Sara?” He’s polite—but he already knows my world has changed. Whether I want to talk about it is another matter.
“Yes, Gerard, something is very wrong. I’ve just learned Giselli has other plans for Saban’s mate, and he picked her over me. I’m afraid I’ll have to decline our double date for tonight. Perhaps Saban can take his new mate instead. Thank you for the invitation, but I’ll take my leave now.” Before he can say anything in response, I scurry away. I’m on the very edge of breaking down, and I don’t want to do it in front of anyone here.
It takes me only a few minutes to pack my meager belongings in a backpack and clear out of the servants’ quarters of the palace. Rather than leave through the front door where everyone who’s anyone will be watching, I make my way to the kitchen and out the back door. I’ll be able to find somewhere to stay in the Veil, where I can practice my magic and learn from other mages. Where I’ll be with my kind, who already accept me for who I am and don’t expect me to pretend to be something I’m not.
Addi’s previous words ring in my mind as I walk away from the palace. From Saban. From our life together.
I’ll never fully be happy while I’m separated from my soul mate.
The only solace I have is knowing he’ll never fully be happy with whomever he’s betrothed to now.
Darkness has settled in by the time I reach the outer border of the Veil. My steps grew slower and my heart grew heavier the farther I roamed from him. Tears that stung the backs of my eyes flow freely when I reach the tree line, far away from prying eyes.
Ginevra waits for me underneath an old oak tree. Her eyes are full of compassion and understanding. She opens her arms, and I rush into them without question or hesitation.
“It’ll be okay, sweet girl.”
“It hurts so bad, Ginevra. How could he do this to me?”
“The quest for power drives men to perform all kinds of acts they’d never even consider otherwise. Come on, let’s get you settled in for the night. Tomorrow, we’ll get you a job in the city. Saban will be looking for you before long, and if you completely disappear, it’ll raise too many questions. Plus, you need your own money, maybe a place of your own that’s not in a tree, and a way to feel like a normal person.”
I nod, deferring to her judgment for tonight. I can’t make any more decisions today.
Inside the tree house, the familiar sounds of the forest bring little consolation. My body is tired, ready for a night of deep sleep to take over. But my heart and my mind are too conflicted to rest. All the events of the day haunt me…every single one. The instant replay is on a constant loop, each image so vivid, I think I could reach out and touch it.
Too many hours pass before I realize it’s not only my memories I’m seeing, but Saban’s as well. I’m still so intimately connected to him that his thoughts are mixed with mine despite the distance separating us. He’s suffering every bit as much as I am, maybe even more. His regrets consume him, and his misery is intense, but I can’t help him. I won’t help ease his pain after he’s caused me so much.
Then I realize I can use our link to my advantage. He was so cavalier with my feelings, so I decide to see how he handles having my pain heaped on top of his own. I close my eyes and channel my feelings through the light, letting it flow from me directly to him. I can’t hurt more than I already do, carrying both of our wounds in my chest, but now he has a glimpse of how I feel.
For a few moments, I transferred all of it to him—the heartbreak, humiliation, rejection, and betrayal.
For those few moments, I was able to breathe again, but the weight on his chest felt as though it would crush him.
Welcome to my world, Saban.
The remaining hours of the night bring only fitful sleep, broken by recurring dreams that could’ve been mine as easily as they could’ve been his. All I know is I can’t spend a lifetime like this. It’s enough to drive anyone mad, especially after he’s married to someone else. I’m strong-willed but watching him with her is not something I can take.
I rise and dress when the others in the Veil begin to stir but decline their generous offer of breakfast. Nothing I eat would stay down right now, so there’s no use in trying. As promised, a couple of the mages take me into the city with them and put in a good word with their manager. Within the hour, I have a new job in the premiere clothing store servicing the entire realm.
My only qualm is who may show up here for an impromptu shopping spree.
But I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I’m learning how to work the computer, charge the items, and finalize the inventory sheets. Mindless work I can do in my sleep after helping Nana run our store back in Montana, but it keeps me busy and I desperately need that.
As each customer leaves, I catch myself staring at the door, waiting for someone—anyone—to walk in. With each chime of the door alert, my heart beats a little faster, simultaneously hoping it is Saban and that it’s not him. By the end of my shift, I’m so far beyond exhausted, mentally and physically. When I make it back to the Veil, I climb into my guest tree house and crash.
The upside of being so completely worn-out is it keeps the dreams away. My brain finally shuts down along with my body, and I sleep until late morning. When I join the others around the table, a few pieces of toast are left, so I grab one to eat on the way to my new job. My shifts are set for the next two weeks, but I’ve made it clear I’m willing to cover for anyone who may be out unexpectedly. They can give me all the hours and keep me there around the clock for all I care.
When I walk in, my best friend in Covis Realm is there waiting for me.
“Hi, Addi.” I walk directly to her and hug her. I’ve missed her, but I couldn’t go back to tell her what happened.
“I already know everything. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. If I could cast a spell to remove his balls without serious repercussions, I would do it in a split second.”
I chuckle, the mental picture firmly implanted into my brain now. “Thanks for the super idea. I may take the chance and do that spell myself.”
We catch up on other non-Saban-related topics before Addi has to get back to work herself. I make it through another day, working on my feet all day, perusing the clothes and shoes for myself, and taking advantage of the employee discount. When I return to the Veil after work
, the mages are having a meeting to discuss the upcoming vote on our rights, so I pull up a stump and listen to all the pros and cons they debate.
This information would’ve been beneficial if the job Saban told me I’d be doing had panned out.
Best-laid plans and all that.
* * *
The days bleed together, working at the store, helping out in the Veil, and getting very little sleep at night, until a full week has passed. A week apart from Saban, without hearing his voice, seeing his face, or spending one minute with him. I’d like to say each day is getting easier, but that’s not entirely true. I think I’m just adapting to the constant aching in my heart and coping with the fact that I have to move on. For my own sanity. For my own peace of mind. For myself.
On my lunch break, I take a stroll through the city. Over the last few days, I’ve been a hermit, avoiding all human contact when my job doesn’t absolutely require it. Today, I’m going to sit in the park and do a little people watching. At least it’s a first step to rejoining the world. After I grab a sandwich from the small bakery, I find a shady spot near the creek flowing through the park.
The footbridge crossing the creek is empty, so I find a spot near the middle and settle in to nibble on my sandwich. With my sandals off, I dangle my feet in the blue water and watch the mothers with their children playing in the adjacent clearing. Their laughter drifts across the field to me, and the bright smiles on their innocent little faces lift my spirits. I’m so focused on their activities that I don’t notice what’s swimming directly underneath me.
I should say who instead of what.
My eyes automatically jerk in the direction of a loud splash. In an instant, a handsome, muscular merman is in my face. His arms are on either side of me, caging me in, and his powerful tail fin holds him upright out of the water.
“I can make you forget all about him if you give me a chance.” The brilliant jade color of his eyes glistens with mischief and lascivious promises. “You’re much too stunning to pine over someone who doesn’t appreciate you. You look so delicious, I could eat you up.”
“That’s a very tempting offer. There are a couple of problems with it, though.” His gaze is mesmerizing me; I feel the powerful lure trying to ensnare me along with an odd sensation of wanting to be caught.
“Do tell. I’m sure we can work through them.”
“For starters, I don’t even know your name.” I quirk one eyebrow while mentally pushing his influence away from my mind. Surprise registers on his handsome face.
“My name is Rio. And you are?”
“I’m Sara.”
“Hello, Sara. Now that we’ve been officially introduced, the other reason should be easy to rectify.”
“The other reason is actually slightly more difficult. You see, I’ve heard the stories about the siren’s song. How they lure fishermen to their deaths, crashing the boats on the rocks and taking their bodies to the bottom of the ocean to feast on their bones. So, while I’m very tempted by your stunning good looks, charming personality, and captivating eyes, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on being eaten alive.”
His stunned expression quickly morphs into a full smile. He throws back his head in roaring laughter before nodding in understanding. “You are everything I’ve heard and more, Sara. I know Talia very well, and she told me about your chat on the shoreline. She’s very fond of you after one conversation, and I can assure you that doesn’t happen with her. Ever. Naturally, I wanted to meet you for myself.
“Now that I have, I have to admit her assessment of you couldn’t be more spot-on. You are different from every other human we’ve encountered. For the record, my offer still stands. I know what Saban did to you—news travels fast in the mage and wizard community—and I can help you forget him. It’ll be as if he’s no more than someone you used to know.”
“I appreciate the offer, Rio, but I need more information first. What would you do to make me forget him?”
“There are a couple of ways we can do it. One way involves removing the bond you have with him from your psyche. Once that’s done, you’ll remember how you used to feel, but it’ll be diminished. The other way is if I take him to the bottom of the ocean and feast on his bones.” When he smiles, a dimple appears in his right cheek, and I can’t take my eyes off it.
“Can you give me time to think about it? I’m not sure which option is more appealing at the moment.”
He chuckles again, but this time, his laughter is contagious. I find myself giggling for the first time since that awful day. It feels good to release the emotions bottled up inside me—both good and bad.
“You take all the time you need. I’ll wait for your word. You should also know, the moment that bond with him is broken, my plan is to make you fall madly in love with me. Not to feast on your bones, though. There are other ways to eat you alive.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “All you have to do is step in the water and call my name. I’ll be there.”
With that, Rio lowers himself into the creek and swims away with a simple goodbye wave. I’m left with all kinds of conflicting sensations about my predicament. I don’t want Saban dead; that’s obvious. But the “removing the bond” option is very appealing. When Saban moves on with his new mate, I’ll take Rio up on his offer. For the time being, I think it’s essential for me to learn how to live with disappointment and anguish.
Something tells me this won’t be the last time I’ll face it.
My lunch break ends, and I return to the store, back to the work I know how to do. The familiarity of it is comforting. While I’m restocking the shelves and updating the store inventory database in the last few minutes before my shift ends, I lose myself in the menial tasks and momentarily forget about Saban, my broken heart, and the constant threat hanging over my head.
“Sara? Um…can we talk? Please?”
I’d know that voice anywhere. It haunts me in my sleep. It follows me during the day. It reverberates through my mind. It cries out my name in the dead of night. It soothes me and irritates me at the same time. It crushes my spirit and sends my soul soaring.
It belongs to him.
I slowly turn to face him, and I’m surprised to see the gaunt face staring back at me. He’s lost weight in the last week apart. The vibrant man I knew, who was always so full of life, seems more like a dull black-and-white cartoon version of his previous self. There are dark rings under his eyes, his cheeks are more sunken in, and there’s no sparkle in those gray eyes of his. The color is muted and lackluster, a ghost of what they once were.
“No, we can’t. I have nothing more to say to you.”
Chapter 22
“Then you can listen because I have plenty to say to you.” He turns to follow me from the storefront to the employee break room, where I clock out with an eye scan. I grab my bag from my designated locker and continue to avoid eye contact with him. “I don’t want to chase you down the street, yelling to make sure you hear me, but that’s exactly what I’ll do if I’m forced. We’re not going one more day without settling this once and for all.”
“You settled it ‘once and for all’ when you made your decision, Saban. As far as I’m concerned, that was the end of you and me. Whatever bond we had between us is broken beyond repair. If I think about it, why would I want to repair it now? Your promises are bullshit. You’ve already proven that. Why should I bother listening to a single word that comes out of your mouth?” I march out of the store and onto the sidewalk. The problem is, I can’t walk toward the Veil with Saban following on my heels, so I turn the opposite way and go back to the park.
“Because I love you, Sara. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone in my entire life. But it’s also more profound than that. We are linked together in this life and the next. We are not over, princess. We can’t be. I still feel you in my arms. I still hear you in my head. You’re a part of me now. Our love story will never end.”
“That’s a very touching sentiment, Saban. But words are wort
hless. Your actions showed me everything I need to know about you.”
“Look, I know I’ve made a mess of things. I know I hurt you, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. But I can’t live without you, Sara. Believe me, I’ve tried and failed miserably. This past week has been pure hell. There were days I didn’t know how I’d live through the next minute because the pain of losing you was so fucking bad. What can I do to make it up to you? How can I prove you can trust me?”
I stop walking, reach into my bag for a piece of paper, and hold it up for him to see. “This paper represents trust, Saban.” I wad it up into a tight ball. Then I shove it into his hand. “That crinkled piece of trash is still paper. It can still be used. But it’ll never be like new again. No matter what you do, you can’t change the damage that’s been done to it. When you can restore that paper to new, then maybe you’ve found a way to change what you’ve done to me.”
“But I love you, princess. Not knowing where you are, if you’re safe, or if you need anything is killing me.” His plea passes over his lips as a wounded whisper.
“I’m not yours to worry about anymore, Saban. I gave you all of me—my love, my body, my trust—and you threw it all away like it was yesterday’s trash. I’m not giving you another chance to do that again. Don’t come to where I work anymore. Stop looking for me. Go back and live your own life. Goodbye.”
He stands still, staring at the crumpled paper in his hand, and I walk away, choking on my pride. When I’m far enough away, lost in the crowd, I circle the block and double back to head toward the Veil. The grief is overwhelming, almost to the point of making me lose control. I need somewhere I can be completely alone, to have time to think through the events of the past few weeks and decide what I should do next. A safe place to bawl my eyes out, scream until all the anguish escapes, and let it all go.
My focus should be on what happens when the cloak is lifted on my upcoming birthday, staking my claim to the throne, and saving my grandmother. Instead, I can’t concentrate on anything except him.
Cloaked: Easthaven Crest, Book One Page 16