by Terri Dixon
Part XXXVIII
I actually don't want a throne at all, because I don't view myself as a queen.
-Lady Gaga
The dark was upon us. Night time came early in the far north. We casually pulled over in a park by the water and Lydia made some calls. She wasn't able to arrange a private tour for us that day, but the next day she would be able to take us to all the places that she'd mentioned. I didn't see any problem with the idea, because it certainly didn't seem as though we would be going home.
I wanted to cry, because I couldn't go home. I also wanted to see St. Petersburg and the palaces. I was torn, and I was tired. I was also hungry and a little nauseated. Stress was killing my stomach.
We decided that we would go back to Lydia's house for the night and begin again the next day. I watched the spire at the Sts. Peter and Paul Cathedral as we drove by on our way back to Lydia’s house. It towered over everything else in the area. I had seen it from the bedroom window at Lydia’s house, but I hadn't know what it was until the moment we drove by. I couldn’t wait to learn more about my family. They seemed fascinating. I also couldn't wait to go home. I wanted to scream at my mother for never telling me about any of it.
When we arrived at Lydia’s house, her family was home. Lydia’s husband, Grisha, looked to be mid thirties. He was in good shape, with dark hair and dark eyes. Lydia also had two children. Their names were Anna and Nicolai. Anna was twelve and resembled her mother. Nicolai looked like his father and was ten. They were a handsome family, and they seemed happy and content. Grisha and the kids welcomed us with open arms as Lydia had.
The children were excited to see how much I looked like Catherine the Great. I was becoming quite the novelty item in main street . I figured that if I got stuck there forever, I could always make a living as a Catherine the Great impersonator. I took my hat off and let the kids ooh and ah for a while. Then Lydia sent them to do their homework.
Peter had called and talked to Grisha while we were out. He’d said to sit tight. He thought that the manhunt would stop. He'd started a rumor that I’d already left the country. He was well connected, so I hoped that it would work. I didn’t want to be running from the government for the rest of my life. Grisha said that Peter would call again in the morning and let us know any new information that he had. There was nothing to do but have fun being a tourist in . As long as no one official saw me, I could see all the sights.
Lydia made dinner. I don’t know why I expected to eat traditional Russian food for every meal while I was in the country, but I was surprised when Lydia suggested that we have tacos for dinner. They were the kids’ favorites. Hearing about cleanup and simplicity made we think that mothers around the world were all alike. Lydia sounded like my mom. Imagine that, all moms being exactly alike, no matter where in the world they lived.
I was suddenly aware that I was just like Lydia. I could be as Russian as she was. I didn’t say a word to anyone, but I suddenly realized that I could be a Tsar. It wouldn’t be as outlandish as I’d thought it would. Any of us could be anything. We were all a lot alike.
The tacos were great. I kept forgetting to eat on my trip. There was so much going on that it virtually never entered my mind to eat unless someone else brought it up. I ate more than I normally would, but tacos felt like home. It didn’t last long though. It wasn’t long after dinner when I found myself running to the bathroom again, puking up my dinner. Getting sick nearly every time I ate was getting old. I hoped that when the stress was gone, I could get back to eating as usual.
I slept well after getting sick. My body was still confused. There was so much darkness that I always felt tired. Tania said that I was losing my mind, but I was sure it was the dark made me exhausted. Tania said she thought I had the flu. She couldn’t figure out why else I couldn’t seem to eat much and needed to sleep half the time.
The next day, Lydia sent her husband to work, the kids to school, and cooked breakfast for everyone. I managed to keep my breakfast down. That made everyone happy. Breakfast seemed to be the only thing that I could eat.
I called my mother briefly to let her know that I was fine. She whined and cried for a few minutes. I hoped that she would calm down when I came home. She sounded awful. She sounded as though she hadn’t slept since she’d found out what was going on. I couldn’t blame her. I was all she had left, but there was nothing I could do but wait. I couldn’t try to leave the country if there were government officials searching for me.
Peter hadn’t called by , so we went out to take a tour. Lydia and Boris were from St. Petersburg, and she worked with a tour company. She knew someone everywhere we went. She also knew a lot about the Tsars. I couldn’t have hired a better tour guide. If there was one thing that Lydia was an expert on, it was Tsars, because that was what tourists came to learn about. Being the slow season in January, it gave her free time to spend with us.10:00
St. Peter and Paul Fortress was our first stop and was unlike any fort I'd seen in America. It was enormous and majestic. It was more than fort. It was the burial place of the Tsars. I saw a picture of it from the air, and it was shaped like a star. It was a museum and burial place. In the past it guarded the shores of Russia's capital. It had been a prison and a military base. It was one of the places that was symbolic of St. Petersburg.
The cathedral, the largest building in the fortress, was full of dead Tsars. It was more of a mausoleum than a church. I found it creepy. I saw the tombs of most of the tsars. I saw Catherine’s tomb, right next to Peter III. Her son, Paul had arranged to have them buried together after her death. How could a man have his own father exhumed just to force his parents back together in death? Paul was truly crazy. I was related to him. That worried me.
It was difficult for me to see the tombs. These people were my family. It wouldn’t have been as difficult if they weren't. I was learning so much now. I was learning about the Tsars, their lives, their deaths. Lydia was a knowledgeable guide. It was creepy, and I wanted to go and see something else, because I felt too uneasy in that church.
We left the church and we left the fortress. Lydia decided that I needed to see Oranienbaun and the Chinese Palace. It was Catherine the Great's personal hideaway. Most people didn't even visit it, according to Lydia. In addition to it being a great place to learn more about Catherine, it was a place that no one would be at. That way no one could recognize us.
The weather was nice. I could see quite a ways as we were driving along the . I could see the clouds coming in from the west, but the sun was still shining in what was left of a short day. The ice on the bay and the snow all over was sparkling like cotton full of diamonds. The far north was stunningly beautiful. It was not what I expected. It seemed magical to me. I didn’t mind the cold at all. I actually kind of liked it in . of
“Stacey, are you still with us?” Lydia asked.
“Yes, there’s just so much to look at.”
“It is quite beautiful,” Lydia noted. “It is difficult to understand why anyone would live here until you see it in the summertime, and you have seen a day like this. I could not imagine living anywhere else.”
Tania elbowed me in the side and made the crazy gesture about Lydia. I smiled because I understood Tania’s feelings. Not everyone was cut out for life on the edge of the . I thought that maybe I was though; I wasn’t sure why.Arctic
“I hope that Peter calls with information,” Tania said. "Maybe we should call him."
“You know, you’re right,” Lydia said. “We keep waiting around for him to call. Boris, get your phone. You call him. Maybe he called after we left. I don’t know why he’s being so archaic in the first place. We all have phones.”
Boris agreed and called Peter. He got voice mail. I was worried. Peter should have called. He would have used a cell phone or something. I didn't know why he hadn't called me. I missed him. I
wiped a tear from my face. I felt ridiculous having feeling for a man that I barely knew.
Boris checked the news on his phone. “I don’t see anything in the headlines that has to do with you.” He continued to sites for a few minutes. “Hey, wait a minute. Here it is. Tsar imposter fled country. The girl who was reportedly impersonating a Romanov was seen leaving the country at a small airport in early this morning. According to officials, she presented a passport that they knew to be a fake, but they allowed her to leave. The American girl will not be allowed to return to this country. She is still on our most wanted list. Have no fear, good citizens; your lives are no longer in danger of ruin. Your government, will not allow a foreign criminal to come into your country and take away all of the freedoms that we have all fought so hard for. Your government, will always protect your way of life.”
“Great,” Lydia commented. “They are going to protect our way of life. What an oxymoron. There you go girls. I say we let it lie there for one more day, and then we should be able to get you home. I am sure Peter will call sometime today with more information and tell us how to proceed.” She looked over her shoulder at me. “I have known Peter since he was a boy. It seems that you are special to him.”
I felt relieved. It seemed as though it might end. It finally seemed as though I was going home. Tania was excited. I felt bad that I’d gotten her into this mess. I couldn’t imagine what she felt like. She’d gotten on a plane to go and take a class about the Tsars in Moscow with her Facebook friend. The next thing she knew, her roommate was a Romanov and she was being chased around the country as a criminal. It couldn’t be easy on her. I hoped that we would stay friends. I really liked Tania. I’d never met anyone that would stick by me through this hell. She was loyal to a fault, and she didn't even know me that well. She was a true friend.
The Ring of the Queen