As a first step towards pruning down our laundry list of six theories, let’s realize that, whatever factors caused our distinctive sexual habits to evolve in the distant past, they would not be persisting today if there were not some factors still sustaining them. But the factors responsible for their initial appearance need not have been the same as the ones now operative. In particular, although the factors behind Theories 3, 5, and 6 may have been major ones long ago, they do not seem to be so now. Only a minority of modern women uses sex either to obtain food or other resources from a number of men, or to confound paternity and induce many men simultaneously to support a woman’s child. Postulates of their former role are paleopoetry, albeit plausible paleopoetry. Let’s just content ourselves with trying to understand why concealed ovulation and frequent private copulation might make sense now. At least, our guesses can be guided by introspection about ourselves plus observations of others.
The factors behind Theories 1, 2, and 4 seem to me still operative today, and to be facets of the same paradox, the most distinctive feature of human social organization. That paradox is that a man and woman desirous for their child (and genes) to survive must cooperate with each other for a long time to rear their child, and must also cooperate economically with many other couples living close by. It is obvious that regular sexual relations between a man and woman intensifies their connection, compared to their connections with other women and men whom they see daily but with whom they are not involved sexually. Concealed ovulation and constant receptivity advance this ‘new’ function of sex (new by the standards of most mammals) as a social cement, not just a device for fertilization. This function is not, as in the traditional male chauvinist version of Theories 1 and 2, a sop thrown by a cold, calculating woman to a sex-starved man, but instead an inducement for both sexes. Not only have all signs of female ovulation vanished, but the act of sex itself takes place privately, to emphasize the distinction between sexual and non-sexual partners within the same close group. As for the objection that gibbons remain monogamously involved without the reward of constant sex, that is easy to explain: each gibbon couple has minimal social – and no economic – involvement with other gibbon couples.
Human testis size also seems to me an outcome of that same basic paradox of human social organization. While our testes are larger than a gorilla’s, because we have frequent sex for fun, they are still smaller than a chimpanzee’s, because we are more monogamous. The oversized human penis may have evolved as an arbitrary sexual display symbol, as arbitrary as a lion’s mane or a woman’s enlarged breasts. Why were lionesses not the ones to develop enlarged breasts, lions an oversized penis, and men a mane? If they had, those permuted signals could have functioned equally well. That it did not come out that way may be just an accident of evolution, a result of each species’ and sex’s relative ease of evolving those various structures.
But there is still something basic missing from our discussion so far. I have talked about an idealized form of human sexuality: monogamous couples (plus a few polygynous households), husbands confident in their paternity of their wives’ children, and husbands helping their wives with child-rearing rather than neglecting the kids in order to philander. As justification for discussing this fictitious ideal, I maintain that actual human practice is much closer to this ideal than to baboon or chimpanzee practice. But the ideal is still fictitious. Any social system with rules of conduct is open to the risk of individuals cheating when they find the advantages of cheating to outweigh the burden of sanctions. The question is thus a quantitative one. Does cheating become so regular that the whole system collapses, or does cheating occur but not so often as to destroy the system, or is cheating vanishingly rare? As translated for human sexuality, that question becomes one of whether ninety, thirty or one per cent of human babies are fathered extramaritally. That question and its consequences will be the subject of the next chapter.
FOUR
THE SCIENCE OF ADULTERY
Cold-blooded analysis of adultery views life as an evolutionary contest whose winners are those individuals leaving the largest number of surviving offspring. This view helps one understand why humans reinvented adultery after the other two chimps had bypassed it.
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PEOPLE HAVE MANY reasons to lie when asked whether they have committed adultery. Consequently, it is notoriously difficult to get accurate scientific information about this important subject. One of the few existing sets of hard facts emerged as a totally unexpected by-product of a medical study, performed nearly half-a-century ago for a different reason. That study’s findings have never been revealed until now.
I recently learned those facts from the distinguished medical scientist who ran the study. (Since he does not wish to be identified in this connection, I shall refer to him as Dr X.) In the late 1940s Dr X was studying the genetics of human blood groups, which are molecules that we acquire only by inheritance. Each of us has dozens of blood-group substances on our red blood cells, and we inherit each substance either from our mother or from our father. The study’s research plan was straightforward: go to the obstetrics ward of a highly respectable US hospital; collect blood samples from 1,000 newborn babies and their mothers and fathers; identify the blood groups in all the samples; and then use standard genetic reasoning to deduce the inheritance patterns.
To Dr X’s shock, the blood groups revealed nearly ten per cent of those babies to be the fruits of adultery! Proof of the babies’ illegitimate origin was that they had one or more blood groups lacking in both alleged parents. There could be no question of mistaken maternity – the blood samples were drawn from an infant and its mother soon after the infant emerged from the mother. A blood group present in a baby but absent in its undoubted mother could only have come from its father. Absence of the blood group from the mother’s husband as well showed conclusively that the baby had been sired by some other man, extramaritally. The true incidence of extramarital sex must have been considerably higher than ten per cent, since many other blood-group substances now used in paternity tests were not yet known in the 1940s, and since most bouts of intercourse do not result in conception.
At the time that Dr X made his discovery, research on American sexual habits was virtually taboo. He decided to maintain a prudent silence, never published his findings, and it was only with difficulty that I got his permission to mention his results without betraying his name. However, his results have more recently been confirmed by several similar genetic studies whose results did get published. Those studies variously showed between about five and thirty per cent of American and British babies to have been adulterously conceived. Again, the proportion of the tested couples of whom at least one practised adultery must have been higher, for the same two reasons as in Dr X’s study.
We can now answer the question posed at the end of the last chapter: whether extramarital sex is for humans a rare aberration, a frequent exception to a ‘normal’ pattern of marital sex, or so frequent as to make a sham of marriage. The middle alternative proves to be the correct one. Most fathers really are raising their own children, and human marriage is not a sham. We are not just promiscuous chimpanzees pretending to be otherwise. Yet it is also clear that extramarital sex is an integral, albeit unofficial, part of the human mating system. Adultery has also been observed in many other animal species whose societies resemble ours in being based on male and female co-parents with a lasting bond. Since such lasting bonds do not characterize common chimpanzee or pygmy chimpanzee society, it is meaningless to talk of adultery in chimps. We must have reinvented it after our chimp-like ancestors had rendered it obsolete. Therefore, we cannot discuss human sexuality, and its role in our rise to humanity, without carefully considering the science of adultery.
Most of our information about adultery’s incidence has come from researchers asking people about their sex lives, rather than from blood-grouping their babies. Since the 1940s, the myth that marital infidelity is rare in the US has been publicl
y exploded by a long succession of surveys, beginning with the Kinsey report. Nevertheless, even though this is the supposedly liberated 1990s, we are still profoundly ambivalent about adultery. It is thought of as exciting; no television soap opera could attract many viewers without it. It has few rivals as a basis of humour. Yet, as Freud pointed out, we often use humour to deal with things that are intensely painful. Thus, throughout history, adultery has also had few rivals as a cause of murder and human misery. In writing about this subject, it is impossible to remain completely serious, but it is also impossible not to be revolted at the sadistic institutions by which societies have attempted to deal with extramarital sex.
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What makes a married person decide to seek or avoid adultery? Scientists have theories to explain many other things, so it should not be surprising that there is also a theory of extramarital sex (abbreviated to EMS, and not to be confused with premarital sex or PMS, in turn not to be confused with premenstrual syndrome, also PMS). With many species of animals the problem of EMS never arises, because they do not opt for marriage in the first place. For instance, a female Barbary macaque in heat copulates promiscuously with every adult male in her troop and averages one copulation per seventeen minutes. However, some mammals and most bird species do opt for ‘marriage’. That is, a male and a female form a lasting pair-bond to devote care or protection to their joint offspring. Once there is marriage, there is also the possibility of what sociobiologists euphemistically term ‘the pursuit of a mixed reproductive strategy’ (abbreviated to MRS). In plain English, that means being married while simultaneously seeking extramarital sex.
Married animals vary enormously in the degree to which they mix their reproductive strategies. There appears to be no recorded instance of EMS in the little apes called gibbons, while snow geese indulge regularly. Human societies similarly vary, but I suspect that none comes close to the faithful gibbons. To explain all this variation, sociobiologists have found it useful to apply the reasoning of game theory. That is, life is considered an evolutionary contest whose winners are those individuals leaving the largest number of surviving offspring.
Contest rules are set by the ecology and reproductive biology of the particular species. The problem is then to figure out which strategy is most likely to win the contest: rigid fidelity, pure promiscuity, or a mixed strategy. But I must make one thing clear right at the outset. While this sociobiological approach certainly proves useful for understanding adultery in animals, its relevance for human adultery is an explosive issue and one to which I shall return.
The first thing one realizes is that the best game strategy differs between males and females of the same species. This is because of two profound differences between the reproductive biology of males and females, in the minimum necessary reproductive effort, and in the risk of being cuckolded. Let’s consider these differences, which are painfully familiar to humans.
For men, the minimum effort needed to sire an offspring is the act of copulation, a brief expenditure of time and energy. The man who sires a baby by one woman one day is biologically capable of siring a baby by another woman the same day. For women, however, the minimum effort consists of copulation plus pregnancy plus (throughout most of human history) several years spent nursing – a huge commitment of time and energy. Thus, a man potentially can sire far more offspring than can a woman. A nineteenth-century visitor who spent a week at the court of the Nizam of Hyderabad, a polygamous Indian potentate, reported that four of the Nizam’s wives gave birth within eight days, and that nine more births were anticipated for the following week. The record lifetime number of offspring for a man is 888, sired by Emperor Moulay Ismail the Bloodthirsty of Morocco, while the corresponding record for a woman is only sixty-nine (a nineteenth-century Moscow woman specializing in triplets). Few women have topped twenty children, whereas some men easily do so in polygynous societies.
As a result of this biological difference, a man stands to gain much more from EMS or polygamy than does a woman – if one’s sole criterion is the number of offspring born. (To female readers about to stop reading in outrage, or to male readers about to cheer, I warn you now – keep reading, there is much more to the question of EMS.) For human EMS the statistical evidence is naturally hard to come by, but for human polygamy it is readily available. In the sole polyandrous society for which I could find data, the Tre-ba of Tibet, women with two husbands average fewer children, not more children, than women with one husband. In contrast, nineteenth-century American Mormon men realized big benefits from polygyny: men with one wife averaged only seven children, but men with two wives averaged sixteen children, and those with three wives averaged twenty. Polygynous Mormon men as a group averaged 2.4 wives and fifteen children, while polygynous Mormon church leaders in particular averaged five wives and twenty-five children. Similarly, among the polygynous Temne people of Sierra Leone, a man’s average number of children increases from 1.7 to seven as his number of wives increases from one to five.
The other sexual asymmetry relevant to the best game strategy involves confidence that one really is the biological parent of one’s putative offspring. A cuckolded animal, deceived into rearing offspring not its own, has thereby lost the evolutionary game while advancing the victory of another player, the real parent. Barring a switch of babies in the hospital nursery, women cannot be cuckolded; they see their baby emerge from their bodies. Nor can there be cuckoldry of males in animal species practising external fertilization (that is, fertilization of eggs outside the female’s body). For instance, some male fish watch a female shed eggs, then immediately deposit sperm on the eggs and scoop them up to care for them, secure in their paternity. However, men and other male animals practising internal fertilization – fertilization of eggs inside the female’s body – can readily be cuckolded. All that the putative father knows for sure is that his sperm went into the mother, and eventually an offspring came out. Only observation of the female throughout her whole fertile period can absolutely exclude the possibility that some other male’s sperm also entered and did the actual fertilizing.
An extreme solution to this simple asymmetry is the one formerly adopted by southern India’s Nayar society. Among the Nayar, women freely took many lovers simultaneously or in sequence, and husbands accordingly had no confidence in paternity. To make the best of a bad situation, a Nayar man did not live with his wife or care for his supposed children, but he instead lived with his sisters and cared for his sisters’ children. At least, those nieces and nephews were sure to share one-quarter of his genes.
Bearing in mind these two basic facts of sexual asymmetry, we can now examine what is the best game strategy, and when EMS pays. Let’s examine three game plans of increasing complexity:
Game Plan 1.
A man should always seek EMS, because he has so little to lose and so much to gain. Consider the hunter-gatherer conditions prevailing throughout most of human evolution, under which a woman could at best rear about four children in the course of her life. Through one dalliance, her otherwise faithful husband could increase his lifetime reproductive output from four to five: an enormous increase of twenty-five per cent, for only a few minutes’ work. What is wrong with this dazzlingly naive reasoning?
Game Plan 2.
A moment’s reflection should expose a basic flaw of Game Plan 1; it considers only the potential benefits of EMS to a man and ignores his potential costs. Obvious costs would include the risk of detection and injury or murder by the husband of the woman sought as EMS partner; the risk that one’s own wife will desert; the risk of being cuckolded by one’s wife while one is off seeking EMS; and the risk that one’s legitimate children will suffer through one’s neglect of them. Thus, according to Game Plan 2 the would-be Casanova, like a sophisticated investor, should seek to maximize his gains while minimizing his losses. What reasoning could be more impeccably judicious?
Game Plan 3.
The man silly enough to be satisfied with Game Plan 2
has obviously never approached a lady with an offer of EMS or PMS. Worse yet, the silly man has never even thought about the statistics of human heterosexual intercourse, which dictate that, for every bout of EMS by a man, there must be one bout of EMS (or at least PMS) by a woman. Game Plans 1 and 2 share the flaw that they ignore considerations of the woman’s strategy, without which any male strategy is doomed to failure. Hence Game Plan 3 must combine a male strategy and a female strategy. But, since one husband suffices to realize a woman’s maximum reproductive potential, what could possibly attract a woman to EMS or PMS? This question puzzles the current generation of theoretical sociobiologists with a purely intellectual interest in EMS, just as it has taxed the ingenuity of would-be male adulterers throughout human history.
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To proceed further with our theoretical exploration of Game Plan 3, we need rigorous empirical data on EMS. As surveys of people’s sexual habits are notoriously unreliable, let’s first turn to some recently published studies of birds that nest as mated pairs in large colonies. These, rather than our closest relatives the apes, are the animals whose mating system most closely resembles our own. Compared to us, birds have the disadvantage that one cannot ask them about their motives for EMS, but this is no great loss, as our answers are often lies anyway. The great virtue of colonial birds for EMS research is that one can band the birds in a colony, then sit nearby for hundreds of hours and determine exactly who does what with whom. I am unaware of equivalent information for a large human population.
Important recent observations of adultery among birds were made on five species of herons, gulls, and geese. All five nest in dense colonies composed of nominally monogamous male/female pairs. One parent alone is incapable of rearing a chick, as an unguarded nest is likely to be destroyed while the parent is off gathering food, nor is a male capable of feeding or guarding two families simultaneously. Consequently, among the ground rules of sexual strategy for these colonial birds are the following: polygamy is forbidden; copulation with or by an unmated female is pointless, unless she soon acquires a mate to care for the resulting offspring; but surreptitious fertilization by one male of another male’s mate is a viable strategy.
The Rise and Fall of the Third Chimpanzee Page 10