by Tamie Dearen
“I care about you, too,” she said, feeling more confused than ever.
Cord dismounted and gestured toward a fallen tree trunk beside the water. “Come sit with me.”
“We don’t have time. The rodeo—”
“The rodeo isn’t as important as this.” His fingers wiggled toward her, drawing her to him.
Even as she slid down from Shadow’s back, she felt uneasy. “I don’t know, Cord. I feel like Parker controlled me with words. He got into my head. And you…”
“I what?” His face was stony.
“You control me with my body. Those kisses… I can’t get them out of my mind.”
His lip curled up on one side, a dimple forming beside it. “What if I promise not to kiss you?”
“Even holding my hand does it,” she complained.
The other side of his mouth mirrored the first, eyes crinkling in the corners. “I’m happy to hear that.”
“I can’t think when you touch me.” She planted her fists on her hips, glaring up at him.
“Thinking is highly overrated,” he rasped, his hand lifting slowly toward her face.
Her eyes closed of their own accord, and she held her breath, waiting for the white-hot sear of his fingers on her skin. But it never came. She opened her eyes and saw his face, inches away, the desire in his eyes as fierce as her own.
He straightened and turned away, his chest heaving with rapid breaths. “We’re going to talk, and nothing else. I’m not going to kiss you. I’m not even going to hold your hand.” The anguish in his voice sounded as if he’d pronounced his own death.
“Never mind all that,” Jess hurried to assure him, flapping her hand to cool her face. “I kind of agree about thinking being overrated. In fact, I wouldn’t mind a kiss right now.”
“No.” He stomped over and sat on the log, looking very much like a pouting school boy. “We’re just going to talk. I don’t want you analyzing this later and deciding I was controlling you with your body.”
“Forget I said that.” She padded along the damp path by the stream and plopped down beside him.
With a grunt, he bounced sideways, making more space between them. “Stop tempting me, Jess. I only have so much willpower where you’re concerned.”
“You do?” For some reason, his confession made her joyously happy.
“Yes,” he snapped. “So stop looking so… so kissable.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know. Clamp your lips together. Put mud on your face.” He flung his hand through the air. “Anything.”
“Okay.” She dipped her fingers in the mud by her feet and swiped it across her cheek.
His jaw dropped open. “I was kidding, Jess. Now I need to wipe it…” He lifted his fingers toward her cheek, snatching his hand back before he made contact. His eyes squeezed shut. “I won’t look. It’ll probably be better this way.”
“Maybe you should say what you have to say. Get it over with.” She almost proposed a kiss as a good trade for having to listen to him. She wasn’t in the mood to be lectured.
“Do you swear never to tell anyone what I’m about to say?”
Though his eyes were still closed, she could read the anxiety on his face. This wasn’t going to be a lecture about Parker. Whatever he was going to tell her had him twisted up like a coiled spring.
“I promise.” She resisted the urge to hold his hand.
“Okay…” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “Here’s why I have to compete in the rodeo.”
With his eyes shut, he could almost pretend Jess wasn’t sitting beside him, listening to every emotionally wrought word.
Almost.
But her scent, a combination of fresh citrus and mint, wafted past his nose with the gentle breeze, reminding him of her presence. Yet he didn’t fall apart like he thought he would, even when he heard her sniffing beside him. His throat felt tight a few times, and his eyes got watery, but he kept his emotions in check. To her credit, Jess didn’t say a word until he was finished.
He felt her soft fingers slide across his hand. He opened his eyes and watched as their fingers interlaced, fitting perfectly together, despite the diminutive size of her hand.
“Cord?”
He looked over as she rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes. The sympathy he saw there had him teetering on the edge. He didn’t dare speak, so he nodded, instead.
“Thank you for telling me. I feel like a jerk for prying. I didn’t realize it had anything to do with your father.”
He looked at her face, still smudged with mud, which did absolutely nothing to make her less attractive. He pulled up the hem of his t-shirt and wiped her face. Her silver eyes gazed up at him through thick lashes. The shirt slipped from his fingers, but his thumb continued to stroke her petal-soft cheek.
As her lips parted, he moved his thumb, brushing across her alluring mouth. When he tilted his head in a silent question, she answered, closing her eyes and pursing her lips to kiss his thumb. Before she could change her mind, he bent his head, and his mouth found hers at last. He was so hungry for her, he wanted to devour her where she sat. But he held himself back, feathering soft kisses on her tender lips. Then he pulled away, just far enough to make her come to him, to show it was her choice.
When her lips found his again, he moved from one corner of her mouth to the other, savoring the soft plumpness of her responsive lips. Then he deepened the kiss, his heart pounding so hard she could’ve heard it with her own ears. If not, she surely felt it with the fingertips that now rested on his chest. His hand dipped behind her head, tangling in her silky hair. He let his mouth slide from her lips down to her chin and under her jaw, and he buried his nose against her neck, savoring her fresh scent.
As he tore himself away, she opened her eyes halfway, as if her lids were too heavy to lift. Her tongue peeked out to wet her lips, mocking his self-control, which hung by a gossamer thread.
Catching his breath, he spread his lips in a lazy smile, designed to hide the fire that burned in his chest. “Does this mean I can hold your hand in front of Parker?”
She looked everywhere but at him. “No.”
That wasn’t the answer he wanted.
“I spilled my guts, and you gave me the kiss of a lifetime, but you still won’t date me?”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you like that.” She edged away from him. “Not until Parker’s out of the picture.”
“I agree. So let me help you get rid of him.”
“I’m afraid your idea of doing that might involve a deep lake and cement boots.”
He shrugged. “Sounds like a reasonable way to dispose of him.”
“You can’t kill Parker,” she said, rolling her eyes.
Cord stood, offering her a hand up. “I’m not making any promises.”
“I’d rather handle him on my own.” She let him pull her to her feet.
Her answer stung, but Cord decided not to fight her. If she hadn’t made up her mind, he wouldn’t push her. He had to show he wasn’t a controlling jerk like her ex.
She picked her way back to Shadow’s side and mounted the saddle with the ease born from years of practice. “Listen, Cord… I understand why you want to ride in the rodeo, but I can’t help being worried. You know you shouldn’t compete without the doctor’s clearance.”
He could’ve backed out before, but he’d waited too long.
“I’ll be fine. My shoulder’s barely even sore, now.” He climbed into his saddle and followed behind Jess on the trail.
“I know you want to prove yourself,” she said. “I have three older brothers, and all of them were in some kind of sport. But sometimes, you have to sit out a game.”
“For Pete’s sake, my boss is coming all the way from New York to watch me ride a bull. I’m riding. End of discussion.”
She took his words literally, clamming up until they reached the open field again. When she finally spoke again, he couldn’t see her expression,
but her voice shook with emotion.
“Suit yourself, Cord. But if you end up having surgery on that shoulder, don’t come crying to me.”
Her heels dug into Shadow’s flanks, and the horse sped away before he could come up with a suitable clever retort.
Too irritated to follow after her, he turned Blaze back toward home, muttering to himself, “Don’t worry. I won’t come crying to you… because I don’t cry.”
12
Jess waved her acceptance to the cheering crowd and stepped back through the arena gate.
“Congratulations, Squirt!” A tall, well-muscled man with brown hair held his arms open wide.
She cried out with delight and threw her arms around her brother’s neck. “Zander, I didn’t know you were coming!”
He picked her up and twirled her around before setting her down on her booted feet. “You were awesome out there. Good to see you back in the saddle.”
“Shadow was incredible. He always puts his heart into a race, but he’s lost some of his speed. We were lucky we didn’t have much competition. That high school girl almost beat me.” She gave Zander another hug. “It’s so good to see you.”
“What am I? Chopped liver?” asked the man beside him, two inches shorter, with shoulders two inches broader, and a shirt patterned after the Texas flag.
Laughing, she gave him a bear hug, and he returned it, squeezing the breath out of her.
“Thought you were ignoring me.” Nick wore a pout, but his green eyes sparkled.
“I shouldn’t even be speaking to you.” She aimed her best glare his direction. “I know you had Cord spying on me all this time.”
“Don’t be mad, J.J. Someone has to watch out for you,” said Nick.
Jessica dismissed him, addressing Zander. “Did you bring Cohen with you?”
Her oldest two brothers lived in Austin within twenty minutes of each other, and she adored them.
“Cohen’s out of town. He might’ve come if you’d bothered to tell us you were competing.” Zander crossed his arms and leaned against the strong metal fence, solid on the bottom and with close horizontal slats on top to protect the audience from injuries. The loud speaker blasted, announcing the next event, the calf roping. Like Nick, Zander wore a straw cowboy hat and seemed oblivious to the appreciative looks from female passersby. “If Nick hadn’t called, I wouldn’t even be here.”
“Sorry, I didn’t tell you. But it was no big deal. Just an amateur rodeo.” The truth was, she’d been nervous to race after a long hiatus.
“I know you, Squirt. Every competition is a big deal.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “We did our part, right? Stayed away so you could concentrate?”
Jess followed the same pattern at every competition—she made her family and friends keep their distance until after she raced.
“That’s right. Pre-race hugs are bad luck.”
“We saved you a seat with Nanna and Bucky,” said Nick. “But I want to talk to Cord before I go back up. Have you seen him around here?”
Just the mention of Cord’s name tied her gut into knots. It seemed there was no way Cord wouldn’t reinjure his right shoulder, holding onto the bull rope. And when that happened, he’d be less able to scramble away from the bull’s deadly hooves and horns. Her attempt to talk him out of competing had only made him more determined to do it. She dredged up some anger to cover her real emotion—fear.
“He’s probably with all the other bull riders, beating on his chest and making Tarzan calls.”
Zander doubled over with laughter. Nick, however, didn’t appear to find any humor in her statement.
“Since when do you have something against bull riders?”
“Y’all are too macho for your own good,” she retorted. “Otherwise guys like Cord wouldn’t be riding with a separated shoulder.”
Nick’s brows drew together until they almost touched. “Cord told me the doctor cleared him to compete.”
His glower grew darker, gathering energy like a storm. She dreaded facing Cord after she sicced her brother on him. But she’d rather Cord be alive, even if he never spoke to her again.
Then Nick’s gaze focused on something behind her, surprise widening his eyes. “Parker. What are you doing here?”
With her stomach in her throat, Jess whipped around, her eyes taking in the man who’d dropped her seven months before. Parker Brown stood before her, sporting a western shirt and what must be a brand new cowboy hat. She almost started laughing when she spied cowboy boots sticking out from his creased blue jeans. She had to give him credit for trying hard to impress her. But why the sudden change of heart?
“I came to beg your sister for a second chance.”
“Really.” Sarcasm filled Nick’s single-word response.
Jess couldn’t help responding in kind. “Wow, Parker. I’ve never heard you say something so… humble. What happened to you?”
For a fleeting second, she thought she glimpsed anger in his eyes, but then it was gone. He smiled, exposing perfect teeth, which probably cost his parents a fortune. Once, when she complimented his smile, he’d bragged about his Hollywood-style veneers.
“I had a birthday.”
His gaze flicked to her brothers, and he pressed his lips tight, refusing to elaborate. But she knew the meaning behind his cryptic statement. He’d turned twenty-four, and inherited his trust fund. He no longer had to please his parents to gain access to money.
Was he pursuing her because he’d truly wanted her all along, and had only ditched her because his parents threatened to cut him off? Or was this his way of demonstrating his rebellion, flaunting her in his parents’ faces? Neither scenario seemed particularly desirable.
“We’ll leave you two to talk.” Zander secured his brother’s arm and dragged him away. But he mumbled in Jessica’s ear as he passed, “Hope you dump that fancified fart.”
Jess chuckled. As her oldest brother, Zander had yet to approve of any of her boyfriends, though he might’ve disliked Parker the most.
When her brothers were out of sight, Parker moved closer. “I saw you race. Very impressive. It’s fascinating how everyone around here is really into this rodeo stuff.”
“Kind of like how Dallasites are into charity galas?”
His eye twitched the way it always did when he was getting impatient. “Since your competition’s over, do you want to go grab a bite to eat somewhere?”
“If you’re hungry, there’s plenty to eat, right here. They’re selling sausage on a stick and roasted corn-on-the-cob at the food tent.”
The crowd cheered as something exciting happened inside the arena. Jess peered through the slats in the fence and saw a calf lying on his side, three of his feet tied, a horse backing up to keep the rope tight, while the competing cowboy waved a hand at the crowd. She couldn’t see the time on the board, but judging from the audience response, it must’ve been fast.
“Okay. We can eat here, then.” Parker drew her attention, stretching his mouth into more of a grimace than a smile, as he held his hand out toward her.
She stared at his fingers like they were snakes, unconsciously stuffing her hands in her pants pockets. “You can go eat. I’m heading up to watch the rest of the rodeo.”
“You don’t want to eat with me?”
“And miss the rodeo?”
What she really didn’t want to miss was the possibility of seeing Cord. A quick glance around revealed no sign of him, though she’d hoped he might come by to congratulate her. She told herself he was busy putting out a million fires to keep the rodeo running smoothly. She didn’t want to believe the other possibility… that she’d hurt him too badly when she asked him not to compete in the rodeo.
If only she’d kept her big mouth shut. The moment after he’d poured out his heart about riding to please his father was the worst time to criticize his decision, no matter how worried she was. She knew that now. Part of her wanted to search for him and apologize before the competition. But that would g
o against her own strict rule to avoid distraction during a competition. She certainly didn’t want to cause a lapse in concentration during his dangerous ride.
“Are you listening to me?” His voice jerked her attention back.
“Sorry. What did you say?”
Parker’s lips tugged down in something akin to a pout. “I drove four-and-a-half hours to get here, and you’re not even going to talk to me?”
“Why did you really come? You haven’t even called since January.”
To her surprise, his eyes got watery, and he looked to the side, his throat convulsing. “My grandfather died.”
“Oh, Parker! I’m so sorry!” She’d only met the man once, but he’d been sweet and welcoming—the only one out of Parker’s family who seemed to like her. She knew he and Parker had been close.
“You’re the only person who understands.” He wrapped his arms around her, his voice shaking with barely contained emotion, and she didn’t resist.
“He loved you very much. He told me how proud he was of you.” She patted Parker’s back.
Still clinging to her, he took a shuddery breath. “We hadn’t even buried him before everyone was fighting over his money like vultures. All I could think was I don’t want to be part of this family anymore.”
“I can see where that would make you angry.” She wanted to say more, but kept her mouth shut, her heart aching for him.
“That’s why you were so good for me. You’re different from everyone else I know.” He stepped back and quickly wiped his eyes, his gaze aimed toward his shiny new boots. “I guess it was dumb to hope you might take me back.”
The crowd cheered again, and Jess glanced wistfully toward the arena, hating that she was missing the action. But it would be an hour or more before the bull riding started, and Parker needed a friend. She could offer him that much.
“Let’s go somewhere and talk.”
Parker offered his hand again, and this time she didn’t have the heart not to take it.
“Thank you,” he breathed. “I’ve been so empty without you.”