by Bawdy Bloke
Natalie pursed her lips together and nodded. “Maybe. Twas New Year though.”
Tabitha sighed. “Well I was tee-total all night,” she told her. “I was at my friend's house and I was fine. She's just being irresponsible. It has to stop.”
Natalie rubbed her eyes as she sat sipping the water. “I feel so shit. I have so fucked things up. I can't believe what I did last night.”
“With Adam?”
Natalie nodded. “I don't want to be sleeping with him,” she admitted. “It will just fuck everything up.”
* * * * *
“This 'as to stop,” Tabitha shouted at her partner. “You can't keep getting pissed every night. We are having a baby.”
Sarah sighed as she woke. “Oh Tabs, please, stop it.”
Tabitha put a glass of water down on her bedside table and shook her head. “I mean it.” Sarah groaned as she sat up and rubbed her forehead. “Hangover?”
Sarah blinked and nodded. “A bit.”
“I ain't bringing a baby up in a house with a drunk,” Tabitha spat and crossed her arms over her breasts. “And to come in at 3am and begging for sex.”
Sarah grunted and took a sip of the ice-cold water. “What?” She murmured and Tabitha wiped her eyes.
“You came into my room at 3am in the morning and started mouthing off. 'You're horny, you want it.' Woke me up, woke the baby up. How selfish can you be?”
Sarah sniffed and took another gulp of the water; her throat was like sandpaper. “Ahh … sorry.”
Tabitha sat down on the bed and looked at her partner. “What happened?”
Sarah shrugged. “It was New Year,” Sarah muttered. “And I just had a few too many.”
Tabitha looked at the dirty clothes on the floor, and shook her head. “Vomit stains?”
“Ahh yeah, well when I hit the fresh air, it just all came up,” she explained, still speaking in a quiet, croaky voice.
“Sarah, you have responsibilities now. Please promise me you ain't gonna be getting pissed every night when we have the baby,” the black girl implored of her partner. “You know I hate alcohol.”
Sarah rubbed her eyes. “I told ya. I ain't gonna be like ya father. I like a few but I don't get drunk every night.” Tabitha sniffed and held Sarah's hand. “And I have never hit you,” she added and Tabitha nodded.
Tabitha ran her hands through Sarah's hair. “Yeah, but don't forget your new responsibilities.”
Sarah sighed. “And what about yours,” she said quickly and closed her eyes as Tabitha's eyes sparkled.
“What about mine?”
“Nothing,” Sarah murmured.
“No, spit it out.”
Sarah took a deep breath. “What about the father? He has a right to know.”
There was a deathly silence and Tabitha shook her head. “We agreed,” she cried out and held Sarah's hand tightly. “We agreed not to tell him.”
“Well I think we should,” Sarah admitted and then winced as she felt her forehead. “I really think we should.”
Tabitha looked down at her swollen belly and wiped a tear from her cheek. “No. I dain't want anyone involved,” she said firmly and sat back against the wall. “He might get the authorities involved and I'm not going through Social Services again. Not after what my Ma went through.”
Sarah took another gulp of water. “Right, if that's what you want,” Sarah quietly mumbled. “But I think you are wrong.” Tabitha didn't wait to hear anything else and slammed the door behind her.
* * * * *
“I get it,” Adam muttered with an exasperated tone.
“Well as long as you do,” Natalie replied firmly. “I mean I like you. A bit. Well quite a bit now you're not being a total prick but I ain't wanting a serious relationship, I said that.”
“I didn't say I wanted a serious relationship,” he snapped and exhaled deeply as he shook his head. “I get it. I wasn't asking you out, I just asking if you wanted to go for lunch.”
“Yeah, and I ain't wanting to sleep with you.”
“I didn't say you did.”
“Yeah 'cause it was a silly mistake.”
“You said pleasurable aberration earlier,” Adam teased and watch Natalie's face drop. “It doesn't matter, I'm sure I ain't your first one night stand, and I won't be ya last. I'm not gonna fall deeply in love with ya over one night.”
Natalie scowled at Adam as his attempts to placate her made tactless suggestions. “Good,” she added tersely. “'Cause I dain't sleep with people I live with.”
Adam snorted. “You'd make a shit wife then,” he joked and rubbed his hands together. “Ya fancy that lunch then, now we're cool.”
The naked Natalie shook her head. “Sorry, I can't. I still feel shit, and to be honest, I can't afford it.” Adam looked at her and she shrugged. “I've just had Christmas and last night. I'm not made of money.”
“On me?”
Natalie gulped. “No,” she said firmly. “Not after last night. I ain't havin' ya takin' me out after last night.”
“Why?”
“Because, no,” Natalie snapped and Adam shrugged.
“OK, I'll go out on my bike then,” he told her sharply and snatched at his empty cup on the side. Sarah watched as Adam strode out of the room and turned to her Scottish friend, rubbing her forehead.
“Not your type?”
Natalie took a deep breath and exhaled. “Oh I don't know. I don't think so. Not with friends like Carl,” she said, leaning back.
Sarah snorted, looking up from her laptop. “Whatever he says, I thinks he likes ya.”
“Feckin' hope not. Why da say that?”
“Something he said at Christmas,” Sarah told her. “He was speaking about you to his family on Christmas Day.”
“Yeah, that proves nothing,” Natalie replied and Sarah shrugged.
“If ya say so.”
* * * * *
Sarah knocked stoutly on the bedroom door of Natalie and shouted through it. “Uncle Si is coming round,” she cried and scooted off downstairs.
Adam grunted, vaguely overhearing the excited shrill of his house mate and stretched out in his bed, yawning. It was late in the morning, but it was still a holiday and he no intention of using up his last day of holiday in getting up early.
He turned over again and buried his face into his pillow but it was no good, he was awake and nothing he could do could stop his body from feeling not tired enough to sleep.
Adam could feel his morning erection pressing against the firm mattress and adjusted his body to get more comfortable but he sighed and got out of bed; he needed a wee anyway.
He grabbed the book on the side, an erotic thriller Sarah had leant him and opened his bedroom door, walking down the stairs to the bathroom. Adam shut the door and leant against the cool tiled wall. “Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies,” he muttered and looked at his erection. “Ah come on! What do you want from me? Ann Widdecombe naked on a cold day.” He closed his eyes and tried to visualise it before eventually giving up and lying “Superman” across the white toilet, his hands holding onto the pink wall and his feet lying on the edge of the bath.
“I fuckin' hate you at times,” Adam moaned to his penis as he opened the bathroom door and sauntered downstairs.
“Adam,” a female voice called from the lounge. “D'ya hear me earlier?”
Adam opened the door and stepped in. “Yeah, I 'eard ya, it's eleven o' clock. Who ...”
Adam was interrupted by a loud shriek from his right and he turned to see a middle-aged couple, along with a little girl and a clothed Sarah. They were all wearing clothes. He swore and his hands shot to his crotch. “Ahh, sorry.”
The girl cocked her head to look at the cover of the book. “Mummy, why is his willy standing up?” The young girl asked and Adam went red.
“I'll go get dressed,” he muttered and shut the door.
“Sorry, he's a nudist,” Sarah explained as Adam took deep breaths. “We're us
ed to him but sometimes he forgets when we have guests 'round. I'll just go check he's OK.”
Sarah opened the door and cocked her head to one side, looking at the naked man, holding his head in his hands. “Wish you'd have warned me,” he hissed and Sarah burst into silent laughter.
“Oh, Adam, you've just scared the religious branch of the family,” she whispered. “And I did warn you. But what did you think of covering yourself with that.” She pointed at the book and Adam glanced at the cover – a naked woman holding a whip – and she giggled. “And what makes you think I wanted to see you in all your glory?”
Adam looked down at his, now deflated, manhood and sighed. “Could have done with you five minutes ago,” he said wistfully and grabbed his dressing gown. “I'm going out on my bike.”
Adam hurried up the stairs and quickly got dressed in his motorcycle leathers, leaving the madhouse he called home behind for a few hours and drove up to Windermere.
The Lake District was shut; it was the close season, but Adam loved sitting by the lake and looking out over the peaceful water, watching the wildlife and the odd boat.
It was cold, and he had a journey of an hour to get back – with ice-cold air being blown in his face as his bike hit 80mph on the motorway, but there was a sense of adventure and freedom, as well as a big adrenaline rush, every time he used his bike. It was the ultimate escapism: genuine escape from his troubles.
It was tea-time before Adam arrived back at the house and he tentatively opened the back door. Sarah coughed from behind the kitchen worktops and Adam jumped. “Just filling up the washer,” she told him. “And yes they have gone.”
“Ahh right, yes,” Adam muttered and she grabbed her cup of tea. “You being naked and all.”
“Yes, and they have come from my parents, stayed the night there on their way back to Berwick.”
“Right.”
“So they ain't gonna tell my parents and it ain't gonna get back to yours.”
“Oh, wasn't bothered if … well you know.”
Sarah shook her head and sauntered into the lounge as Adam took off his motorcycle boots. “Look Sarah, I'm sorry,” Adam muttered as he caught up with her in the living room. “I didn't mean to, I didn't know.”
Sarah looked at Natalie with a smirk. “He's sorry, frightening my poor relatives,” she teased. “Well you can say your sorry,” Sarah replied with a cheeky look upon her face. “By doing some marking for me.”
“Marking?” Adam asked and Sarah sat down in “her” chair.
“Yeah,” Sarah muttered. “Well I set the homework to be in before Christmas and they did it all. I reckon I should have it marked and it is new term tomorrow.”
“And you haven't done it?” Adam enquired and Natalie looked round at her.
“No. So I was thinking Nat can you do the science, Adam the Maths and I'll do the English. They are ...”
“Why can't I do the Maths?” Natalie asked and Sarah looked at her incredulously.
“If you really want to,” Sarah replied. “But I thought that ...”
“I got a First in my Maths degree,” Natalie finished for her. “I guess that should count for something.”
“Oh yeah,” Sarah cried. “I sort of forgot that.”
Natalie picked up a stack of papers and Sarah passed her a “marking scheme,” which was more the correct answers scribbled on the back of a letter from her bank. “And after this we can watch the film?”
“Yeah. It's all about a man who goes around flashing himself,” Sarah said peering at a DVD box. “Oh, and his name is Adam Hodson. And would you believe it, it's a documentary.”
* * * * *
“Watch shit?” Adam asked incredulously. “You don't know the fucking 'alf of it. Soaps 'alf the night, never get to go on my chuffin' games. And the films. We had St Trinians on the other night.”
“I've seen that,” James muttered. “Not too bad, but girls in school uniforms, very nice.”
Adam and Carl glared at him. “Just when did you become a woman?” Carl spat. “Liking St Trinians? You'll be liking Dirty Dancing or shit like that soon.”
Adam passed his two friends a bottle of beer each in the small lounge and walked over to the bookshelf. “I have one here that they made me watch on Christmas Day, where is it?”
James took a huge swig of the beer and picked up a crisp from the side. “What is it?”
“Cashback,” Adam said proudly and passed Carl a DVD case with a naked woman on the front.
“Doesn't look too bad,” Jamie muttered and Adam glared at him.
“It's essentially a love story with nudity,” Adam told them. “About a guy who can stop time and it's fuckin' student shit. No guns, no weapons. Nothing. Bit of nudity and that's it.”
Carl passed it to James who read the back. “It doesn't sound too bad,” he replied and Adam snatched it from him and opened the box.
“It's empty. They've left it in,” he muttered and fired up the DVD player. “I'm just going for a slash, I'll show you five minutes of it 'fore the footy. It's slushy as fuck,” Adam moaned and left the room to pass some of his four bottles of export lager.
He was expecting to see the title screen or the anti-piracy labels when he returned but saw Carl and James glued to the screen, staring intently at the television. “What the … What's this?”
“It's what you put on,” James replied and Adam squinted. There was a double bed in the middle of a bedroom with a creased duvet and Adam shook his head. “It's just come on, but it's home made or amateur porn I reckon,” James added rhetorically.
“Well, I don't know,” Adam told them and went to turn it off to howls of protest from his guests. He sighed, grabbed his beer; he didn't recognise the room on the video and guessed one of his house-mates had been watching it and forgot to eject it.
He wondered who it was: all three of them could be porn lovers at heart but he didn't know who he thought it was most likely to be. “Is anything gonna happen?” James moaned and Adam shook his attention back to the screen and the wobbly camera.
A shadow emerged onto the screen and the naked legs of a large black woman appeared walking towards the bed.
“It's Tabitha,” Adam cried and looked at Carl smiling. “It's Tabitha … and fuckin' hell. Sarah.”
“What the fuck 'as the bitch got 'tween her legs?”
“It's a strap-on,” Carl told her. “It's what dykes use.” He turned to Adam. “You dain't tell me you were shacked up with some dykes.”
Adam took a deep breath and sighed. “Yeah, well, I dain't think ya wanted to know.”
“Fuck,” James cried as the naked Sarah kissed Tabitha – who was clearly pregnant but with her belly considerably less pronounced than it was currently. She moved down the black girl, kissing her neck and then taking the engorged nipples between her lips and sucking gently.
“Is she gonna fuck that nigger or what?” Carl cried and told Adam to “fast forward to the heavy shit.”
Adam shook his head; he was having issues with his friends watching the home made lesbian pornography of two of his house mates, and while he didn't put it on deliberately the continued broadcast of it would be seen as an intrusion by the two girls concerned.
“I'm not sure we should be watching this,” Adam told them and Carl scoffed.
“Shut fuck up. I wanna see that stuck up cow get shafted by that thing.”
Adam shook his head. “I don't think that …”
“No you fuckin' don't do you?” Carl spat aggressively. “Those bitches are out and they left the DVD out for us to watch. Why else do you fuckin' think that it's been left in the player? Those whores want us to watch.”
“And look at the size of that thing?” James muttered as the rubber dong bounced around underneath Sarah as she moved her hips sucking on the nipple of her pregnant lover.
Adam took a gulp of his beer; no matter what Carl said there was no way that the girls had planned for them to watch their private videos and the fact
that it had been left out was purely an oversight on the part of Sarah or Tabitha: they would surely not have consented to him showing their most private DVDs to Carl and James. “Shall we put the game on?”
“Shut up,” Carl barked and slipped his hand inside his trousers. Adam closed his eyes, he didn't want to see that. He glanced at James breathing labouredly and awkwardly and then watched back on the screen; Sarah was between the legs of her lesbian lover and Tabitha was groaning in an exaggerated manner.
Carl was openly playing with himself and Adam felt a stiffening of his member although had no inclination to masturbate in front of his two friends; he knew that they would happily do so but he was more restrained.
The loud grunting and groaning of Tabitha echoed around the small room as Sarah gleefully sucked and probed Tabitha's loins with her tongue before looking up and kissing her lover's nipples.
Sarah guided the rubber phallus into Tabitha and flicked on a switch. A low buzzing became audible and James snorted. “Fuckin' vibrator in there.”
Carl gasped, his hand a blur over his cock and he grunted. “Go on, fuck that lazy nigger. Fuck her, fuck her dirty slut ass,” he cried and then sighed, his cum spilling out into the palm of his hand.
Adam froze. “Can we put the game on now?” He asked, not sure when the girls would be home and saw in horror as the lounge door opened. Sarah took a second to take in the scene and he face dropped immediately.
“You fuckin' bastard,” Sarah cried the moment she realised and saw what was playing on the screen. She glanced over to the Carl and James wiping their cocks in their hands with tissue and looked at Adam. “So this is what you planned to do? That's private.”
“Hey love ...” Carl cried out with a smile on his face. “Ya left it out for us to watch.”
“I did not,” Sarah yelled and flicked the television off. “It is private.”
“I didn't want to put it on,” Adam told her and she crossed her arms, glaring at him. “It was in the player.”
“What's up?” Tabitha asked as she came into the room.
“These three were jerking off to our home made videos.” Tabitha's eyes widened and Adam protested; he had not touched his cock and he had not been “jerking off.”
“You showed them our videos?” Tabitha asked, wiping her eyes. “Our private videos?” She shook her head and looked into the guilty face of Adam.
“Hey, listen peaches,” Carl cried. “Ya left the video out, but course we gonna watch you getting fucked by that cock. Why d'ya leave it awt if you dain't want us to see it?”