by Bawdy Bloke
For Adam, Natalie's unexpected warmth presented a new problem for him. He guessed that if he asked her out somewhere then she would almost certainly come, she had admitted she was lonely before, but after her antics of the previous month he was unsure if he wanted to spend too much time with her.
He liked her, she was the closest he had come to his “ideal woman” but her behaviour with him about the videos had him wondering. Could he be with someone who could be like that?
If nothing else, with massages like the one he had received, friendship was the least he would want and smiled as her hands darted in between his shoulders. “That's lovely,” he muttered in appreciation.
She gestured for him to turn over and sat down next to him taking his arm and rubbing her oily fingers over it. “You leave tomorrow,” Natalie cooed and pressed down hard on his arms and adjusted herself. “You gonna come back and see us.”
Adam smirked. “Well I might. Just to see the naked chicks.” Natalie groaned and squeezed his biceps that made him squeal. “I wanna see you, take you out somewhere next week.”
Natalie pursed her lips and continued the massage. “You do, do you?”
“Yeah,” Adam said nervously. “And I was gonna book a small restaurant near where I work. Cinema first and then meal. Was thinking of Wednesday, so don't arrange owt.”
Natalie sniffed. “What if I don't want to go?” she asked. “What if I didn't want to do that.”
Adam spluttered. “You always moan you ain't got anything to do. You always moan you are lonely. I don't think I'm gonna get a 'no' from you, am I?”
Natalie stopped massaging him and stared at her house mate. “You what?” She asked fiercely.
“Oh come on. Now Tab and Sarah have the little one, you'll be bored right? So I thought it'd be cool to spend a bit of time with each other. Go for a meal, go for a film. I can show my new place,” he said with a giggle. “I got a double bed and a …”
“Fuck you,” Natalie cried interrupting him and jumped to her feet. She glared at him, before shaking her head.
“What? Oh come on Natalie?”
“How dare you. I am not some easy hussy for you to pick up,” she thundered. “I thought you weren't like that.”
“I never said ...” Adam trailed off and looked at Natalie standing over him. “Chill love. What's got into you?”
“Nothing,” she yelled. “I just don't like …”
“Hey, it's not ya time of the month is it?”
Natalie groaned and picked up one of the candles that lined her room. She shook it over his crotch and watched as Adam's eyes widened and then he made a loud cry.
“No,” Natalie cried. “I am not on my period. And you were going to get a very happy finish if you weren't such a cock.”
Adam wasn't listening; he had his hands glued to his abused member and scrambling to his feet to put some cold water on his burning penis. “Fuckin' cow,” he screamed. Natalie watched him leave the room and sighed; the evening could have been so different and she just locked the door to her room, sinking down behind her door and bursting into tears.
* * * * *
Sarah passed him the keys to his new flat with a grin. “I've cleaned it. Well actually Tabitha cleaned most of it 'cause she's on maternity, I polished the tables.”
Adam smiled. “Tables? Oh, the umm, tiny dining table.”
“Yeah. But it needed three squirts,” Sarah told him and she cocked her head.
“Thanks, you didn't need to.”
“Ahh, we wanted to. Cause when we come and visit I know how clean it should be.” Adam held out his arm to take cuddle the clothed woman. “I suppose it's the least we could do, you were ummm … well you were there for Tab when she needed you.”
“I did nothing,” Adam blurted out. “Well I flirted with the midwife. She was hot. And only nineteen.”
Sarah licked her lips and rubbed her eye with the ball of her palm. “You haven't changed. Well actually I s'pose you have. I think you are more … house trained.”
“House trained?”
“Yeah, 'cause you put the toilet lid down now. And no peanuts last night on the floor.” Adam shrugged. “No but seriously. Tab said she couldn't have done it with you. It means so much to both of us.”
Adam pursed his lips. “I really didn't do much. And it was such an intense thing to be involved in. It was so …” He gestured with his hands and Sarah nodded.
“I know,” Sarah muttered. “It's amazing. I keep checking she is OK. She's so little and defenceless.”
Adam smiled and looked at himself. “I guess I better get dressed and loaded onto the van. Give ya, yar house back.”
“Yeah, OK,” Sarah muttered and watched as Adam ran up the stairs. She walked into the front room and sat down on the chair, relaxing her tired muscles; she wished Tabitha was there to curl up with, but her partner was seeing her friend and she just wanted to say goodbye to Adam.
She looked up at the ceiling and heard Adam's footsteps: she really should help him and pulled herself to her feet. “Want a hand?”
Adam shook his head. “I've only got a few things. Most o'me stuff's in storage,” he breathed out, struggling with a heavy box and Sarah kindly opened the front door.
It took Adam only a few minutes to put everything except his bike (he was coming back for that) on the van and Sarah took the opportunity to change into something more comfortable. As Adam loaded the last of his boxes on the van, the naked (except a pair of stockings, a dressing gown and a clip in her hair) Sarah watched as he closed the front door. “Want a cuppa?”
“Yeah, go on.”
Sarah wrapped her dressing down around her tighter as a draught from the street swirled around her thighs and Adam grinned. “Stop it,” she told him and looked back as Adam ogled her from behind.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I would have wanted Natalie to be here to say goodbye,” he moaned as they walked towards the kitchen. “Tabitha and you forgave me. And Nat and me, we had some good times. And I wanted one last look of her naked before I leave.”
Sarah crossed her arms as she flicked the kettle switch. “Natalie: ahh well, she's pissed off with you. But she does have to work.” Adam sneered but Sarah looked at him. “It might be a Saturday but you work on some Saturdays.”
“Well I didn't even get a goodbye when she went out this morning.”
“Well that's Nat for you. She is annoyed.”
“Yeah but I still don't know what I did wrong.”
Sarah sighed. “She told me that you asked her out on a date to go do what you wanted and expected her to stay the night and have sex with you.”
Adam stared at her open mouthed. “I never said the sex. I told her I had a 'double bed' and was going to tell her that I had a single bed in the spare bedroom when she shouted at me and poured hot candle wax on my crotch.”
Sarah groaned. “Well she thinks you only asked her out because you think she's lonely. And it's Nat, she is too proud to relent. She is annoyed with you as it was your last night here and she wanted to make it special. So until you make a move, or she gets bored and forgets why she had the grudge in the first place she'll be annoyed.” Sarah poured hot water into two cups and dropped a tea bag in each. “But she is shit in the morning and she just hared off to work. They've not replaced a couple of people who've left so Nat is covering. She was probably late as she always is.” Sarah dropped a bit of milk into the tea and then squeezed the tea-bag with the spoon before passing it to her companion.
“Cheers,” Adam muttered and took a sip. “I don't know,” he mumbled. “She seems like hard work.”
“She will be,” Sarah told him. “And she is. But she is a great girl.”
Adam hummed. “Yeah, she is,” he muttered. He stopped looking wistfully at the back door and looked at Sarah. “It's been a weird few months.”
Sarah sniffed. “But not unenjoyable?”
“No, very ...”
“Enlightening,” Sarah suggested with a s
mirk.
“Yeah, I'd say that.”
Sarah grinned. “Learned how to deliver a baby?”
Adam chortled. “I did nothing. I told you that.”
“I know, all you did was to play with Tab's tits, tell the midwife that Tab was a lesbian and chat her up.”
“Exactly,” Adam said with flourish.
Sarah pursed her lips together. “You do yourself a disservice,” she told him. “I mean, you were probably a pain in the arse but that's 'cos you're Adam, but Tab said you were great, and she needed someone.”
Adam sighed. “And what about you and Tabitha?” Adam asked as he drank from the cup.
“What about us?”
Adam smiled. “It's hurting you. Ya gutted ya weren't there.”
Sarah shrugged. “Mebbe.”
Adam looked at her as she pulled her gown closer. “It is, isn't it?”
Sarah nodded. “Yeah. I think Tab has forgiven me, I didn't do it on purpose but I feel so annoyed with myself.”
Adam nodded his head slowly in agreement. “Well, what happens next?”
“Tab is going to move into my room and Tab's room is going to be the nursery. And well, I shall be Lara's other mum.”
“What about the father? The real, I mean biological, parent.”
Sarah snorted. “He doesn't know. Tab didn't want to tell him and I see why. She has me, she doesn't need him. But I'd feel happier if he knew.”
“And you aren't going to cement your relationship?”
“How?” Sarah asked. “We have a kid and ...”
Adam touched his ring finger on his left hand and smirked. “February 29th on Wednesday. The PA in our office is going to ask her boyfriend.”
“What? You mean, marriage?” Sarah stared at the worktop and shook her head from side to side. “You're serious, aren't you?”
“Well it seems as though the next step.”
She sighed. “Tab would be touched, well made up even.” She turned and scowled. “Just when did you start understanding women?”
Adam sighed and picked up the van keys from the side. “I have this way with them.”
“Well,” Sarah replied with a smirk. “If you are so perfect then maybe you would have not fucked things up with Natalie.”
“Yeah, don't remind me,” Adam muttered and held out his arms to the almost naked girl, hugging her tightly. “I'd say thanks for having me, but I reckon it was under duress.”
“Yeah, it was,” Sarah confessed. “But you knew that. And once we got to know you, you were OK I s'pose. Pity about your friends.”
“Ahh yes, well I have said sorry,” Adam muttered. “And if it makes you feel any better, his credit card was cloned and they racked up thousands of pounds of charges. He's having real trouble.”
Sarah's face brightened. “What with the bank?”
“All the call centres for his bank are in India. Or Wales. He can't understand the accent.” Sarah laughed as Adam smiled and he put his front door key on the worktop. “I told ya dad I would drop it off here as I hear you got someone coming to look 'round?”
“Yeah, next week I think. Natalie's arranged it, some girl she knows.”
“Oh, a women,” Adam asked. “I put you off men then.”
“I was already off men,” Sarah replied and hesitated. “But I think you put Nat off men, we are ready to welcome her into the sisterhood.” Adam chuckled at Sarah's facial expression and she continued. “Pity 'cause you are both so alike.”
“We're not,” Adam replied and she smirked.
“You are, it's her birthday on Wednesday; it only comes around once every four years. Make sure you wish her 'Happy Birthday',” Sarah told him. “It'll be well received,” she promised. “Even if it is just by text.”
“I don't ...” Adam trailed off as Sarah raised her eyebrows. “Actually, can I keep this key for a little while longer,” he asked. “Til her birthday on Wednesday?”
Sarah sighed. “Yeah OK, but no sneaking into the house to ogle naked women,” she said with a smirk. “You hear me?”
“Of course not,” Adam said with a steely glance and left the house, waving goodbye to the teacher. It only took him twenty minutes to unpack all of his gear at the other end and he walked around the small house. It was a two-bedroom “two-up, two-down” property but it was big enough for what he needed, and the entire house had been refitted due to the smoke damage.
He swore when he saw the time on the new clock in the kitchen: his chat with Sarah had dragged on longer than he thought and he needed to get the van back to work.
Locking the door behind him, he sprinted down the small path and jumped into the van, the wheels spinning as he slapped it into gear and sped off down the road, arriving at work through the rush hour traffic only ten minutes late.
“I need it one evening,” he said as he threw the keys back to the warehouse supervisor. “I still gotta get me shit out of storage.”
“Sure,” came the response from the gruff manager. “Tuesday OK?”
“Yeah, fine. Oh, and he's a tenner for the diesel,” he told him, passing him a banknote and deliberately not checking to see whether it went in his pocket or in petty cash.
He had promised Carl he would meet them for a beer and set off towards their local. Carl was waiting for him and swore when he came into the small inn. “What fuckin' time do ya call this?”
Adam grumbled an apology and got himself, and Carl, a pint of beer sitting down on the chair opposite. “How's things?”
“As the fuckin' cunts took me gun license,” Carl snapped. “So I've been chucked out of the gun club.”
“Ahh shit,” Adam sighed and Carl shook his head, clearly drunk with glazed eyes and an aggressive posture.
“Those fuckin' do-gooding liberal cunts,” he yelled. “Fuckin' queers the lot of 'em. And when I rang up to kick off, some fuckin' Paki cunt answered the phone.”
Adam shifted in his seat and scowled at the angry man shouting and ranting. “What happened?”
“Yeah well that's the stupid thing. That fuckin' dirty Paki goes and rings up the local cop shop and I get two police bitches arrive at my door to caution me for using racist language. I told 'em it's my fuckin' property and they can fuck off out of it but they just rabbitted on like fuckin' old women. I tell ya, this country's going to the effin' dogs.”
“Oi,” a fierce voice called from behind Carl. “One more swear word out of you and you are barred,” the barmaid told him and pointing at the drunk Preston fan.
Carl turned his head to face her. “Listen love, I'm just havin'a quiet drink.”
“Ya not,” she told him. “Ya shouting. Your shouting foul and abusive language 'round my pub. Have a quiet drink or piss off.”
Carl swore under his breath and looked at Adam. “Dya hear that?”
“Every word,” Adam told him tersely. “But if you shout and swear down the phone at them, they probably will take a dim view.”
“Ya what?” Carl shouted. “Some fuckin' dirty Paki gets me bollocked off the Police and ya thinks it's my fault? I tell ya, they are fuckin' bang out of order taking my guns. I need me guns. They're me guns. Ya understand?”
Adam rubbed his eyes. “Yes I understand that they are ya guns.”
“And some chuffin' cunt of a Police Chief Cunt-stable decides I can't 'ave 'em and they take 'em. We need a fuckin' revolution in this country. Kick out all the poofs, the Pakis, the niggers, the Commie bastards, the bleeding-heart fucking liberals. Burn the fuckers to the stake or rip their fuckin' ...”
“You. Get out,” the barmaid shouted and Carl looked at her.
“No,” he told her and she cocked her head to one side.
“I warned you. Get out. And don't come back.”
“Carl, come on,” Adam pleaded.
“No,” Carl shouted and grabbed his pint. “T'is my fuckin' local,” the skinhead screeched and Adam looked at the barmaid apologetically.
“Carl, come on,” Adam said firmly. “Before the
Police come and arrest you.”
Carl sneered and shook his head. “Police ain't gonna arrest me.”
Adam pushed his almost untouched pint of beer to the centre of the table and got up. “I ain't getting arrested again with you,” he told him.”Not again.”
“Ya what? Ya fuckin' pussy,” the drunken man shouted. “It's bein' with those gals and that nigger.”
Adam shook his head. “Yeah, it's living with three girls, one black girl, two lesbians that's made me realise what a total cunt you are,” Adam said with a grin. “All this mouthing off, it's just fuckin' pathetic.”
Carl stared at him, stunned and shocked, looking around the pub at everyone watching him. “I said get out,” the barmaid said to Carl, who shook his head.
“Jamie told me. You lived with fuckin' nudists, dain't ya? Always lezzing up.”
Adam froze and looked at the barmaid with a quizzical expression on her face. “I didn't do any lezzing up,” he told him with a grin. “But yeah, I've been a nudist for three months while I lived with the girls 'cause they wanted me to and they felt happier if I didn't wear any clothes when they didn't. And ya know what, it was fun, at times. Experiencing someone else's culture and beliefs. OK, yeah, there was times when living with them was a pain but on the whole, they were cool. And they aren't as fucked up as you.” Carl sneered and Adam held out his hands. “Now the barmaid has told you to fuck off, so I think you should.”
Adam waited for a split second, and smiled towards the student barmaid grinning at him. She returned his smile as he walked out of the pub and strode away from the tavern. He felt a hand push him on the shoulder and Carl standing behind him. “What the fuck was that all about? You've gone fuckin' soft Adam, living with that fat nigger and that Scottish slut...”
Adam didn't allow Carl to finish the sentence, smashing his fist into the face of his friend with as much force as he could muster and watching the man stumble against a wall. He grabbed hold of him by the throat, pushing him into the brick house behind him. “Don't you ever call her that, ya hear me.”
Carl gulped and struggled to get free but Adam pushed him onto the ground. He scrambled back to his feet and backed away. “You've gone too far,” Carl mumbled and Adam snorted watching Carl turn and flee in the opposite direction.