by Karen Lynch
“Let me go.” I pushed away from my rescuer, and surprisingly, they released me. Heart pounding, I fell back on the couch and stared up into turbulent blue eyes. “What the hell, Lukas?”
“Why haven’t you returned my calls?” he demanded.
“What?” I asked dumbly, trying to slow my racing heart.
He let out an impatient breath. “I’ve been calling you all evening since we saw you on the news.”
I rubbed my eyes, confused. “I was on the news?”
“You were leaving the ferry terminal. They interviewed a woman who said you saved her son’s life. And we heard from the Agency that you captured Lewis Tate on the ferry.” His voice grew harsher. “What the hell happened on that boat, and why did you go after Tate alone?”
I shoved the quilt off me and stood, poking him in the chest. “Don’t take that tone with me. Only my parents get to talk to me like that, and you aren’t either of them.”
His eyes widened at my outburst.
I continued. “If you ask nicely, I’ll tell you why I was there…after you tell me how you got into my apartment.”
“I picked your locks,” he said as if it was no big deal.
“And the ward?” The fact that he’d passed through the ward without an invitation this time confirmed Tennin’s suspicion that Lukas had made it. But I wanted to hear him say it.
“I created it.”
The bottled-up anger drained from me. “Why?”
He smiled ruefully. “I wanted you to be safe, and it was the least I could do after the way I treated you.”
“And the ward on my parents?”
“I thought they might still be in danger, and it would kill you if anything happened to them.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I knew you wouldn’t let me near them, so I did it when you left their room.”
I dropped back down to the couch. “It was you I saw leaving their hospital room.”
“Yes.”
“Thank you,” I said thickly. If he hadn’t put that ward on them, they might have been taken again or killed during the security breach at the hospital.
“I didn’t do it to win your gratitude, Jesse.” He sat beside me on the couch. “You owe me nothing. I hope someday you can forgive me for what I did to you, but I don’t expect it.”
The self-recrimination in his eyes was too much. I looked away so I didn’t have to see it.
“All I ask is that you hear me out. Will you do that?”
I nodded. Part of me was afraid to hear him voice his reasons for what he’d done, but another part knew I’d never fully be able to let go of my hurt until I did.
“I was taught from a young age to trust only those in my inner circle, so I kept everyone outside of it at a distance. And then I met you. I won’t lie and say my offer to help you find your parents wasn’t for selfish reasons, but I also couldn’t help but admire your courage and your unwavering belief that your parents were alive. Before I knew it, you had somehow slipped between my defenses, and I felt this need to protect you.”
I swung my gaze back to his. “I didn’t do that to –”
A smile touched his lips. “I did it to myself. I arrogantly believed I could choose whom I cared for, but you proved me wrong, and that made me question myself – and you. It’s a sad excuse but the only reason I can offer for why I reacted the way I did that day. I’ve always prided myself on being adept at reading people and recognizing deceit, but I let myself be tricked so easily into believing the worst of you. I was too blinded by my anger to see the truth until it was too late.”
“When Faris woke up.” My chest squeezed tighter with each word of his admission.
“No. I knew it before then. When you yelled at me and said you had trusted me, I heard it in your voice, and I saw the complete look of betrayal on your face. I had never hated myself until that moment. I wanted to strike that elf down and take you away from there, but there was more at stake than your forgiveness.”
“Faris,” I whispered. Lukas’s friend had been in bad shape, and his life had been more important than any friendship we’d formed. I would have done the same for my parents.
“There was nothing I could have done for Faris that Faolin couldn’t. What I could do was let Havas think he’d gotten away with his plan and lead us to the people behind all of it. We left, but we didn’t go far. We stayed to watch the house – and you.”
My breath caught. He’d stayed?
“What we didn’t expect was for the Agency to show up a few hours later. Or that someone would create a portal inside the house to help Havas escape under our noses.”
I couldn’t speak. I was still processing the fact that he hadn’t left me there alone. All this time, I’d thought he’d walked away as if I were nothing to him. I bowed my head so he couldn’t see the tears stinging my eyes.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Jesse,” he said quietly. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for weeks, but you were so angry, and you had every right to be. The Faerie courts have brought your family nothing but pain. I’ve asked myself many times if I should let you go on hating me because you would be better off without me in your life.”
I stared blindly at the floor. How did I respond to that? I’d told myself I didn’t want or care about an apology from him, but I’d been wrong. So wrong.
“You don’t have to say anything. You don’t owe me anything,” Lukas said when I’d been silent for too long. His hand appeared in my line of vision and picked up one of mine. His touch was gentle, but it was the hand I’d hurt on the ferry, and I jerked involuntarily.
He stilled, and then his fingers pushed up the sleeve of my sweater to reveal the compression bandage I’d wrapped around my wrist. “You’re hurt.”
“It’s nothing, only a sprain.” I tried to tug my hand from his, but he refused to release it.
“Did you see a doctor?” He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.
I tried to ignore the warm tingle that radiated up my arm. “An EMT checked me out before I left the ferry.”
He took my hand in both of his and began to gently massage it. “Will you tell me what happened out there?”
Sensations flooded me. There was something so intimate about the act that it made me forget everything but those strong, warm fingers.
“Jesse?”
I swallowed. “I’m surprised you don’t already know everything that happened.”
“Faolin read the Agency report, but I want to hear it from you. How did you know Lewis Tate was going to be on the ferry?”
“I didn’t know.” I told him about the trow job, Tate, and the storm. By the time I finished, my chest felt like it was in a vise. “They said on the news that six people drowned. Two of them were children.”
“I heard that, too.”
Despite my best efforts, a tear leaked out, followed by another. I angrily swiped them away.
Lukas let go of my hand. The next thing I knew, his arms were around me, my head tucked under his chin. “Let it out,” he ordered softly.
“I c-can’t.”
His hand rubbed soothing circles on my back. “Crying doesn’t make you weak, mi’calaech. Holding in your pain will do you more harm.”
I didn’t know if it was his touch or his words that did it, but I let the tears come. I cried for the people who had died and for the children whose terrified screams would haunt my dreams.
Lukas made no move to let me go after the tears stopped. I had to force myself to pull away from the warm comfort of his arms. I felt drained, but in a good way. He was right. Letting it all out made me feel lighter and in control of my emotions again.
His eyes searched my face. “Feel better?”
“Yes.” I tucked my hair behind my ears, not caring that I must look a mess. Now that I was feeling more like myself, it was time to get some answers. “What was that storm? I asked the agents about it, and they clammed up, as if I couldn’t tell it was Fae-related.”
Lukas exhaled slowly like someo
ne about to deliver bad news. “There is a weakness in the barrier between our realms, and the convergence of both atmospheres caused the storm.”
“But there are portals opening between our realms every day, and they don’t cause problems. And what about the Great Rift? I don’t remember hearing about strange storms when that happened.”
“Portals are opened by magic that shields this world,” he explained. “And the rift didn’t cause storms because Faerie was strong enough to maintain the balance between the realms until the rift was fixed.”
“It was strong enough?”
“When Aedhna created our realm, she put her energy into every living thing there.” He placed his hand against his chest. “The magic in each of us comes from her, and that’s why we have to return to Faerie to restore it. Otherwise, we’d never be able to stand exposure to the iron in this world.”
“What does that have to do with the storms?” I asked.
He smiled. “I’m getting to that. Since the Great Rift, thousands of faeries have come to live in this realm. There is a lot of Fae magic in your world where there was once none, and that has upset the balance between our worlds. Faerie is still the stronger realm, but by a lesser margin than before. What that means is that Faerie is unable to fully contain its energy when there is a weakness in the barrier, and some of the energy is leaking into this one. What you witnessed tonight was the result of one of those leaks.”
That was only a leak? “Can it be fixed?”
“The weakness was caused by the removal of the ke’tain from Faerie,” he said. “The ke’tain has so much power that it has tipped the balance of magic. Only its return will stop the damage.”
“What happens if you don’t find it?”
Lukas’s lips formed a grim line. “More weak spots will form, and the storms will become more frequent and severe. Eventually, the barrier could break down completely, and our worlds will either merge or be destroyed. No one knows.”
It felt like all the warmth had been sucked from the room. “And the Agency knows all of this?”
“Yes. They decided it’s in the best interest of everyone not to share this information with the public. It would only cause a panic and make it harder for us to find the ke’tain. The Agency believed that putting a large bounty on the ke’tain would be enough incentive for bounty hunters to search for it without asking too many questions.”
I shook my head angrily. “Money isn’t all we care about. They should have told us the truth because we deserve to know what’s at stake if the ke’tain isn’t found.”
“I agree, but the Agency has its own way of doing things.” Lukas’s expression said he had about as much faith in their abilities as I did. “Which is why we are doing our own search, as well as working with them.”
“Are you close to finding it?” I rubbed my arms, trying not to think about the alternative.
He reached for the quilt that had fallen to the floor and pulled it up to cover me. “We know it’s in New York because the weakness in the barrier is here. But in a city this big, it could be anywhere. A sensor would have to get within ten feet of the ke’tain to detect it.”
I burrowed beneath the quilt. “Is there any way to create a stronger sensor, one that could cover a bigger distance?”
“We tried that, but there’s too much iron here to get a reading. In addition to the sensors handed out to the hunters, there are hundreds of agents and faeries with sensors assigned to grids of the city. All they do is walk the streets and enter buildings, trying to pick up the ke’tain’s signature.”
A sinking feeling filled me. “The ke’tain is so small it could be anywhere. If someone is smart enough to hide it in iron, it’ll never be found.”
“The sensors are a last resort. I’ve been focused on who had the means to remove the ke’tain from the temple and tracing their activity here. I know Queen Anwyn is behind it, but her personal guards are too good at covering their tracks. I also know someone in this realm was helping them, and I’ve narrowed it down to several people. Davian Woods is one of them, but he’s smart and elusive.” Lukas smiled. “Or he was until he unwittingly invited a bounty hunter into his home.”
I shrugged. “No one ever believes I’m a hunter when I tell them. It finally worked to my advantage.”
“You did what neither I nor the Agency could do. Thanks to you, I know about Davian’s connection to Tate and the Seelie guard.”
Warmth filled my chest. “Are you admitting I did a good job?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “But I hope you see Davian Woods is not someone to cross, especially now that we know he’s working with the queen.”
“I do, but if I’d known that before, I still would have gone to the party.”
“Because of your parents,” he said.
“Yes.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. “There was a security breach at the hospital last month. A faerie tried to get to my parents but couldn’t.”
“I know. I can tell when another faerie tries to get past my ward.”
“Oh.” I should have known that after Conlan had set up a ward on my apartment to alert them when there was a break-in.
Lukas’s eyes held mine. “Your parents are safe, Jesse. They’ve been under my protection since they were taken from Havas’s house, and I won’t let anyone harm them.”
I could only nod because my throat was getting tight again. I’d been through an emotional wringer today, and it clearly wasn’t done with me yet.
His gaze went to the photos of my family on the mantle. “Do your parents know what you went through to bring them home?”
“Not all of it. I’m going to tell them when they can handle it.” I toyed with the frayed edge of the blanket. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“If Queen Anwyn is behind the missing ke’tain, why would she take it and risk destroying your world?”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Honestly, I don’t know. For the last twenty years, Anwyn has been pushing to bring all faeries home and seal the barrier between our worlds. There is a small faction in Faerie that believes humans are inferior to us, but she’s the most vocal about maintaining the purity of our realm. If anything, she wants to preserve our way of life, not destroy it.”
My lip curled at his description of the Seelie queen. “If she dislikes us so much, why would she let Prince Rhys come here?”
“She allows it because the one thing she cares about above all else is her son, and she can deny him nothing. It’s become a rite of passage for faeries coming of age to spend time in your world. Prince Rhys wanted to experience the human world, and his mother would do anything to make him happy.”
“So, what you’re saying is that he’s spoiled rotten and gets whatever he wants.” One corner of my mouth quirked. “Are all faerie princes pampered like that?”
Lukas smiled, and it set off butterflies in my belly. “My father has very different ideas about how to raise an heir. When I was a boy, he chose the cousins who would become my personal guard, and we trained together from that day. Whatever challenge they faced, I faced along with them. When one of us was disciplined for mischief, the six of us shared the same punishment.”
I tried to imagine him and the others, especially Faolin, as mischievous boys but couldn’t. “Does that mean you had to run up and down the mountains, too?”
Laughter rumbled from him. “We made a game of it. Whoever made it the longest without losing their last meal was the winner.”
“Let me guess, Faolin excelled at that game.”
“He did.” Lukas didn’t hide his smirk. “He said you performed tolerably well on the stairs.”
I made a face. “High praise.”
“From him it is. Be grateful there are no mountains here.”
“I think I can safely say I won’t go anywhere near a mountain with him.” I shifted so my legs were tucked under me, feeling at ease with Lukas for the first time
since that awful day at Rogin’s. It felt surreal being here with him like this after all that had happened.
Something clattered in the bathroom, and he shot to his feet.
“It’s Gus,” I said before he could investigate.
Lukas’s brow furrowed. “Gus?”
“He’s a drakkan. He goes in and out through the bathroom window.”
“You have a drakkan?” Lukas shot me a look of amused disbelief.
“It’s more like he has me.” I sighed. “He flew into my Jeep, and I brought him home to fix his wing. Now he refuses to leave.”
As if he’d heard me, Gus strutted into the living room. He took one look at Lukas and growled unhappily. Sticking his head under the coffee table, he reappeared with the football chew toy I’d bought him and stalked off down the hall again.
I grinned. “I don’t think he likes you, but don’t take it personally. Gus is a bit ornery, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even like me.”
“I’m surprised he comes back.” Lukas stared after the drakkan. “Drakkans are not domestic. In Faerie, they are fierce creatures that guard the borders of Unseelie.”
A laugh slipped from me at the thought of Gus guarding anything besides his food dish. I’d seen feral cats that were scarier than he was.
Lukas sat and smiled at me. “It’s good to hear you laugh again.”
My heart gave a little flutter when our eyes met, and I was suddenly very aware of how close he was. I rubbed my lips together, and his gaze dipped to them for a second. Was I imagining that his eyes had grown a shade darker?
He reached toward me, and air lodged in my throat when his hand grazed my ear. He lifted a lock of my hair, curling it around one of his fingers and giving it a playful tug that fired off every nerve ending in my body.
“Lukas,” I whispered. I wanted to ask him what he was doing, but my brain short-circuited when his hand left my hair to cup my face.
His heated gaze locked with mine. He leaned in until only inches separated us, and I was overcome with a feeling of déjà vu. I lifted a hand and laid it against his chest as if it belonged there. He responded by taking my arm and placing it around his neck. A tiny shiver went through him as my fingers touched the soft hair at the back of his head.