by Presley Hall
“I do have feelings for you,” I tell her. Regardless of whether or not I thought I wanted a mate, that much is definitely true. My grin widens, turning seductive. “I feel a lot of things.”
She rolls her eyes and makes a sound that’s somewhere between a sigh and a laugh.
“That’s not what I mean,” she replies emphatically. She bites her lip, and my gaze drops to where it’s trapped between her teeth. My cock twitches, desire rising inside me.
“You don’t feel anything for me?” I press, stepping closer to her until I can feel her body heat mingling with mine.
“I…” Her breath hitches, then her chest rises and falls faster. She scowls. “I feel… something for you. But that’s not the same thing as love, Kaide.”
By all the gods, the way she says my name, even when annoyed—it could nourish me for days. I smile, leaning down and running my nose along her neck, breathing her in. I’m starving for her. My lungs ache to have her scent in them. There’s barely any space left between us, and still it feels like too far a distance.
Her eyes are huge when I draw back to look at her. They’re locked on mine, dark enough to drown in. Her skin has broken out into small pebbles along her neck and shoulders, reacting to my proximity and touch.
The ache in my body intensifies, every part of me straining to be nearer to her.
This is what it means, I think almost dazedly. This is what the mate bond is.
I never truly understood it before, despite having watched many of my fellow Voxerans find their mates. I thought I knew what it was like to want someone, but this surpasses anything I’ve ever felt before.
Because I don’t just want her body or the pleasure I know we could find in each other’s arms. I want more than that. I want every part of her.
Reaching up, I drag my fingertips lightly over her collarbone, and my cock throbs when she shivers lightly in response. I can smell the musky, sweet scent of arousal mixing with her natural scent, and it makes an answering shudder run down my spine.
Rhael.
The word echoes in my mind, repeating over and over like a drumbeat, reminding me of what I could never forget—that this woman is mine. That we’re made for each other, that the universe has found each of us our perfect match.
But she doesn’t believe that.
I can see it in her eyes. Uncertainty and distrust burn right below the desire that’s blown her pupils wide.
She doesn’t trust me, and I’m sure she doesn’t trust the mate bond either. So I’ll have to show her that I truly mean it. That everything I’ve said is true.
“Very well,” I tell her, dropping my hand and taking a step back. Her body lurches forward a little as if unconsciously chasing touch. “You are my mate, and I want to respect your customs. So we’ll do it your way. I’ll make you fall in love with me.”
A startled laugh bursts from her lips, and her eyes go wide.
“That’s—that’s not how it works,” she stammers, shaking her head. “You can’t just decide to make someone fall in love with you?”
“Can’t I?”
I grin more widely and lean toward her again just a bit, relishing the way her breath catches and her chin tilts up so her gaze can hold mine. I bring my fingers to her cheek, barely grazing the soft skin there before trailing down along her jaw. Her lips twitch again. They’re so reactive, whether it’s to smile or to show her teeth, and I feel like I could get lost in studying their small movements.
“Kaide…”
She whispers my name so quietly I can barely hear it. I can’t tell if it’s a warning or a plea, but either way, I force myself to draw back.
She doesn’t want me yet, and I have no interest in claiming an unwilling woman.
My mate wants to do this in the Terran fashion, so that’s what we’ll do. I’ve always enjoyed a challenge.
“Your way, then,” I tell her with another grin. “I can’t wait to hear you say you love me.”
5
Raina
I blink as Kaide's statement settles into the quiet air around us.
I can’t wait to hear you say you love me.
The way he said those words, the cocky confidence in them—it’s alluring and irritating at the same time.
I swallow so hard that my throat makes an audible noise, like when a cartoon character gulps. His mesmerizing cat-like eyes are still trained on me, and I can’t seem to drag my gaze away from his as I work hard to get my body and mind back under control.
My skin is burning, my heart pounding at an unsteady gallop, and my legs are shaking as if I just raced up a mountainside. Half my brain is screaming at me to pull Kaide closer and smash my lips to his—to make those teasing little touches between us turn into something more, to let the spark of attraction burst into a roaring flame.
But I don’t.
Because I can’t.
This can’t be real, and I can’t afford to throw myself into whatever strange chemical reaction or trick of pheromones is responsible for this “mate bond” the Voxerans have. I learned to be more savvy and cautious than that a long time ago, and just because I’m on an entirely different planet, that doesn’t mean I should forget all the lessons I learned on Earth.
Back home, I guarded my heart carefully, and it saved me a lot of pain over the years. I need to do the same thing here. I can’t just hand it over to this man because he caught me in his arms and declared that we’re mates.
“It’s not that simple.” I lick my lips, trying to put my turbulent thoughts into words. “I mean, I can’t stop you from trying, I guess. But I’m not really the type to fall in love. I’ve never believed in fairy tales.”
His brows furrow. “Fairy tales?”
“Stories with happy endings.”
That devastating smile spreads across his face, and he leans a little closer. “You don’t believe we could have a happy ending?”
Dammit.
My body starts going haywire again, and I shake my head—not so much in answer to Kaide’s question, but to try to clear it.
“I… I have to go,” I tell him.
Putting my hands on his chest, I push him away from me a little, regretting the action almost immediately. He backs up at my silent urging, but the feel of his warm, smooth skin beneath my palms makes my stomach do a strange little flip. I yank my hands back as if I’ve stuck them in an open flame, then quickly slide out from between his body and the wall of the building I was leaning against.
Kaide doesn’t make a move to stop me, but he watches me with a hungry, slightly amused expression on his face. He looks like a predator and a playboy all at once. I don’t know how those two things can exist in the same person, but he manages it somehow.
Dragging my focus away from him, I turn and head toward the women’s barracks, reaching the large building quickly and stepping inside. I linger by the door for a moment, waiting to see if he’ll come after me again, and when he doesn’t, I let out a deep breath, emptying my lungs.
The space is empty, since everyone else is at dinner, and I take advantage of the dim light and silence to try to settle my nerves, crossing to my bed to sit down.
I rest my elbows on my knees, staring blankly at the empty bed next to mine without really seeing it. All I can see is a pair of gray eyes with cat-like pupils, glinting with an inner light.
“Come on, Raina,” I mutter, closing my eyes and pressing the heels of my hands to my lids.
There’s no way I’m going back to the fire pit right now, so I just lie down on the bed and wait for the other women to return from dinner. They trickle into the large building slowly, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. A few of them glance over at me, offering either sympathetic smiles or confused looks, but I don’t take any of them up on the implicit offer to talk.
I don’t want to talk about it.
I’m not really used to sharing my feelings with other people, and even if I did talk about all of this, I have no idea what I’d say.
&nbs
p; So I ignore it, pretending there isn’t a giant elephant in the room as everyone settles in for the night.
The large space finally begins to go quiet as the other women fall asleep one by one.
But I lie awake for a long time, staring up at the ceiling in the dark.
A few days pass, and if I thought that things would just go back to normal—that everyone would forget about the incident by the fire and move on, or that Kaide would just pretend nothing happened—then I was sorely mistaken.
It was foolish to even hope for that, honestly.
The women all look at me differently, and so do the men of the village. I can’t help feeling like everyone here assumes that it’s a done deal. I mean, Kaide basically declared his undying and inevitable love for me in the middle of dinner in front of everyone, so of course they would all assume it’s just going to happen. That it’s settled because Kaide said so.
But it’s not settled. I’ve heard the other women talk about the mate bond often enough to know that it’s a choice, supposedly. So how the hell can it be a done deal if I haven’t accepted it?
Kaide, for his part, appears to be dead set on keeping his promise to me. He seems to be everywhere I turn, and I’m way too aware of him. I can instantly tell when he’s looking at me, even when I can’t see him immediately. It’s difficult to keep my head on straight with him around, and there’s no way for me to concentrate when I feel his gaze on me.
I just need some distance.
Some time to get my head on straight.
With that in mind, I head out from the settlement three days after “the fire pit incident” to gather more fruits and vegetables that I know are edible. I have my trusty sharp walking stick and my leather satchel slung over my shoulder, and it feels good to be returning to a familiar routine.
But I’m barely out of the settlement walls when I hear a noise behind me that makes me stop.
I know who it is even before I look. Turning around, I narrow my eyes at Kaide. He’s leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest and legs crossed at the ankle, grinning at me like the cat that got the cream.
“What are you doing?” I demand.
I don’t miss how his gaze roams up and down my body, nor how my skin flushes hot at the action. I tighten my grip on my stick and clench my jaw when his grin widens, cocky and way too sexy for his own good.
“I couldn’t possibly let my mate go out into the woods alone,” he says easily, straightening from the wall. “It’s dangerous out there.”
Pressing my lips together to suppress a scowl, I consider his words. I can’t very well forbid him from heading into the forest after me, and I don’t want to stand around arguing all day. So instead of saying anything, I turn around and start walking, letting him follow me if he likes.
Kaide quickly catches up, his long legs making it easy for him to keep up with me.
After walking at a fast clip for a little while, I finally slow my steps. There’s no way I’m going to be able to outpace him, not even if I sprint, so I might as well save my energy.
I’m still far too conscious of him, of the way he radiates heat like a furnace in the damp, humid air beneath the tree canopy, but I try not to notice any of that as we start picking through the underbrush looking for plants we can harvest food from.
Although most of the Voxerans seem to prefer hunting to foraging, it’s clear Kaide has spent time doing both. He quickly points out a patch of chichnas—a type of small, sweet berry that grows on vine-like plants that spread across the ground—and we start picking them.
We work in silence for several long minutes, and I’m grateful for it at first. But the longer we go without talking, the heavier the air around us seems to get, like clouds growing fat with rain. Finally, I can’t take it anymore.
“I don’t need you to protect me, you know,” I blurt, saying the first thing that comes to mind.
Kaide straightens up and looks at me. There’s dirt on his knees and knuckles, as well as a small streak across his cheek from where he rubbed his face. Somehow, that dark smudge makes his already bright gray eyes look even more gorgeous.
“You seem convinced otherwise,” I add lamely. “But I don’t.”
He grins at me, the curve of his lips lopsided and confident as always. God, I want to kiss that stupid smile right off his face. I can feel myself being drawn toward him again, helpless as a meteor in gravity, so I tear my gaze from his, going back to plucking chichnas from their vines. They taste a bit like raspberries to me, except they have a tart skin that’s almost as sour as a lemon. Some of the women peel them before eating them, but I kind of like the sweet/sour combination.
Clinging to my mundane thoughts about berries, I focus on how they feel in my hands as I pick them one by one so that I won’t think about the weight of Kaide’s gaze on me, or how warm I feel beneath it.
“I don’t think I need to protect you. But I want to protect you,” he finally says, pulling my attention back to him.
I huff a laugh, glancing at him over my shoulder as I straighten. “Well, I’ve never really been the type of girl who dreamed about a white knight coming to rescue her. So if you’re trying to win me over, it’s going to take more than that.”
Kaide’s eyes flash, a myriad of emotions playing across his face as he processes my words. He stands up too, taking a step closer to me as he cocks his head to one side, studying my face.
“What will it take then?” he asks, his expression turning uncharacteristically serious for a moment. “What do you want, Raina?”
I blink, startled by the bluntness of his question. He would give it to me, I realize. Whatever I asked for. Whatever he thinks might make me happy, he would want me to have it.
The only problem is… I’m not sure what I want. Not when it comes to him, anyway, or this strange bond that he claims exists between us. And it’s not like I can tell him I want to go back home. We’re all stuck on the same prison planet together, and he doesn’t have the power to send me back to Earth even if I was certain that’s what I wanted.
So I open my mouth and say the first thing that pops into my head.
“I want to go on the trading mission to Pascia.”
6
Kaide
Raina holds my gaze as she speaks, her eyes glinting. Flecks of green mix with a golden brown in her irises, and the colors seem even brighter than usual as she lifts an eyebrow, waiting for me to respond.
Come with us to Pascia?
“No.”
The answer is past my lips before I can even think, a visceral reaction to the idea of bringing my mate into possible danger. The city of Pascia is wild and untamed, a breeding ground for the worst impulses of the many aliens sentenced to live out the remainder of their lives on this planet. There are no laws, only the vicious rule of those strong enough to take control of their section of the city, fighting with other powerful criminals for territory.
I know the Terran women are strong. They’ve proved themselves to be more adaptable and resilient than I ever expected them to be. I have a vivid memory of Raina pointing a blaster at Droth when we found her and the rest of the women at their ship’s crash site.
But that was different. After the crash, she and the other women were forced to defend themselves, to take shelter inside the ship and repel attacks from raiders looking to strip the vessel of anything useful.
Then, she didn’t have a choice.
But now there is a choice.
Trading in Pascia is worthwhile—it’s where we’ve gotten the epoxy that binds wounds together, as well as weapons and other tools for the village—but it’s always a risk.
And I can’t put my mate at risk.
“No,” I repeat, shaking my head, my voice firmer this time. “Anything else I can give you, I will. But not that.”
Raina’s expression hardens. The light in her eyes seems to dim a little, and her jaw clenches. I can’t tell what she’s thinking, exactly, but I can tell that my words have u
pset her—angered her or hurt her, I’m not sure which.
That knowledge causes another instinctive response inside me. I don’t want to see my mate sad or in pain. My entire soul rebels against it.
For the first time, it occurs to me how truly difficult it may be to win Raina over. I could sense her reaction to me the night the mate bond flared between us. I knew she wanted me. It was clear in every line of her body, in the way her pupils grew large and wide, and in the way her breath hitched.
The bond draws her to me just like it urges me toward her. She already desires me. But that’s not enough. I need to make her love me, and I don’t know how to do it.
I haven’t given much thought to things like love or bonding in years. Not since I’ve been on Nuthora, certainly—but even before that, I was focused on other things. After having my heart broken once when I was young, I decided not to risk it again. I threw myself into my training, into forging friendships with my fellow warriors and serving my prince. And that was enough.
But now it doesn’t feel like enough at all.
I want more. I want the beautiful Terran woman in front of me. But I don’t know how to win her.
“I’m sorry,” I say, hoping to cushion the disappointment of my refusal. “I wish I could say yes. But it’s too dangerous, Raina. Our trips to Pascia are not undertaken for entertainment. We only go when we need to. If we didn’t have to trade, we would never venture into the city at all.”
My mate shakes her head, letting out a soft, startled laugh.
“Too dangerous?” She laughs again, holding out both arms to encompass the landscape around us. “This is all too dangerous. I shouldn’t even be here. I should be back on Earth, surrounded by the sprawl of Los Angeles and not a forest full of plants and animals that could kill me. But that’s not the way my life worked out. And whether I like it or not, whether I asked for it or not, this is my home now.”