by A. K. Koonce
Understatement of the fucking year. I scrub at my face as if that could wash away all my feelings of unease.
You’re hurt? My head echoes with his urgency. What happened?
I’m not… I’m fine. I just fell trying to get something out of the closet. Why didn’t you warn me the closet was going to be bigger than my old apartment?
What did you expect from a castle? A cupboard with clothes stuffed in it?
Lincoln, it’s its own room! I chuckle. Zipping the bag, I toss it to the floor and kick at the dresser to close the drawer.
Did you… do you need something? Lincoln asks.
What do I say? I miss you. I miss our friendship… our whatever the fuck it is. I’m mad at you? I’m frustrated that you left me with an unsatisfying goodbye?
I’m sorry. About the good-bye, I mean. He responds. Right, because he’s in my thoughts. I’m not very good at those. And Briar… you’re something.
Something?
You’re tempting. In all the ways you shouldn’t be. All the ways that make me weak. I can’t express to you the extent to which we could never be and how much I also wish we could. I miss you. I miss our friendship, too.
My hand covers my lips, as if I could hide myself and the goofy grin from him. I let the closet door close behind me, and pull the bed covers up to slip under.
If I’m queen I can change things.
Not to that degree. You’ll see. You’ll still be held to the standards of your counsel.
Then I’ll rid myself of the counsel.
It doesn’t work like that.
I sigh, pulling the blankets up to my chin. I don’t, uh, I don’t want to think about that right now. I just want to feel normal. And seeing as this is kind of, sort of, like texting but mentally I think it will help. Can we just talk about regular things?
I’ve never texted a day in my life.
Just think of it like a metaphor. You know what… just don’t worry about it. What are you doing?
Like right now? His thoughts shift with unease.
Yes.
I’m laying in bed.
Warmth cocoons around me, but I stretch out a hand on the sheets and imagine Lincoln propped against the pillows. Me too, I answer softly.
Between blinks, Lincoln’s image sprawled out in loose fitting black pants, always without a shirt, appears on my bed. I gasp. My fingers go through his hand, reaching for mine, as if he is a ghost.
I’m projecting. I’m still in your head, a figment of your imagination, if you will. No one else can see me.
You should be like this all the time. My skin tingles as I hover my hand over his.
It’s rather tiresome, but seeing as I’m about the go to sleep, I’d say it’s worth the energy.
His long dark hair falls to the side of his forehead as he leans to his side. His gaze, the iron cut pupil I’d missed seeing, fans over me. My fingers long to touch the hair on his chest, my lips wishful for a kiss. He’s just a figment of my imagination… untouchable.
“I miss you,” I say out loud.
He nods. I miss your annoyingly mortal self as well. Are you getting along with my brothers? Rowan is quite the hands-on type of man.
“Oh, he’s already confessed that he is pursuing me.” I try not to smirk. “But Kai… Kai has surprised me.”
Oh?
“He’s… kind, and funny. He gives me my space but also knows when to not.”
He’s a prince and he’s been trained well.
“I met your mother. And she is truly awful. Rowan says your father is a god? Is that true?”
Well, I haven’t met him so I couldn’t tell you. His shoulders shake with a small chuckle. And my mother is a special breed. Like most of the Fae you’ll be facing in your council or in other Courts.
“I wish I could touch you.” I draw a line down his abdomen, his image flickering as I do.
You just love to break the rules.
“What can I say? I’m a rebel.” I pause. “Would you let me touch you again? Despite the way you’re convinced we could never be?”
Why? Do you have more pent up energy that needs to be released? I’m sure Rowan would do the trick if you need a quick fuck.
I don’t hide the way I scowl or roll my eyes. “Lincoln, I’m not fucking your brother. I don’t understand how you don’t understand how totally messed up that is. I want to touch you. I want to fight for you. I have my mind set on you.” I give him a sly smile. “And I can be pretty stubborn when I set my mind to something.”
And you’ve set your mind on me?
“Yes. I want you to fight for us. I’ll fight for you, too.”
That’s a slippery slope.
“Let’s slide down it together.”
I’m not sure you know what you’re asking.
“I don’t care.”
Ha, of course you don’t. His image dissolves, his mental barrier slamming back up.
“Lincoln?” My hand bounces off the bed.
I have to go.
Then he’s gone. Like he is always gone. It leaves me only to wonder if I finally said the wrong thing? Perhaps taking a page out of Rowan’s book just doesn’t work in this situation. Did I just fuck up?
Eight
The Ganush Mountains
Two knocks at my door is all I’m granted, though I expected much less. I’ve picked nearly three eye-boogers from the crevasses of my tear ducts, but somehow sleep still clings to my eyelashes. The force of Rowan letting himself into my bedchambers creates a breeze that doesn’t touch my bare skin.
With many thanks to whoever gave me the smallest sliver of my mundane life back, I’ve donned a dark washed pair of jeans, my boots, and an oversized t-shirt that I thrifted. The dagger Kai had gifted me for the time being sticks awkwardly out of the waistband of my jeans. Collin would have hated this outfit; I think with a smile. Lincoln would have loved it enough to take it right off… in the best of ways. I smirk.
“No lingerie today?” Rowan teeters in with less layers than I’ve ever seen him wear.
“I could say the same for you. Where are your coats upon coats upon coats?” I point out, pulling my bag onto my shoulder.
“What can I say? I like to travel light.” He winks.
Kai’s long hair has been braided down his scalp, wearing a similar pant and loose-fitting shirt to his brother. Both in colors of black and grey. “I think I like you better dressed like this.” The prince gives me a once over.
“More fitting, don’t you think?”
“Yes,” he purrs. “Rowan, take her bag. And Briar,” He pulls his bag off his shoulders and tugs a long brown belt from it. “This will help you carry that dagger much more comfortably. Also will protect it from getting dinged up.”
Stiff with annoyance, Rowan pulls my bag off my shoulder. Thin leather straps hold a backpack to his wide frame. He shrugs the bag off to reveal metal buckles that he attaches my purse to.
“Thank you, you didn’t have to.” I wave it off to both brothers, taking the belt from Kai and securing it and the dagger to my waist.
“Actually, I did.” Rowan sends his brother an unamused look.
Kai smiles and offers his arm. He smells of warmed honey and charcoal. I try not to obviously breathe it in as I loop my arm through his and let him lead me out of the room. I’d awoken eager and early enough to be patiently waiting near my door for the last thirty minutes. The necklace, my powers, rests heavily on my neck.
“Well, the portal will get us near enough. But the seer lives in the Ganush Mountain range.”
“So you’re telling me that I’m going to have to climb a mountain today?” Maybe I didn’t dress well enough…
“Rowan and I will both be there to help. It’s totally okay.”
Is it though?
“Plus what we are climbing isn’t exactly a mountain...” Rowan adjusts the bag on his back.
The curtains on the balcony have already been opened, the days warmth travelling down the halls. With the s
un behind us our shadows stretch over the floor. Kai watches me even as I watch the ground.
“Is that the necklace?” He points.
“Uh, yeah.” I glance at Rowan, gingerly touching my neck.
“Don’t worry. He’s up to speed.”
“Should I be offended that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me, love?” Rowan trudges up beside me.
If anyone should be offended, it’s probably me. Kai didn’t really have a right to share my personal information with Rowan.
“Why is he coming again?” I say with heavy sarcasm. Rowan laughs, bumping me playfully with his shoulders.
“Two pairs of hands protecting our Mortal Queen are better than one,” Kai suggests.
“This is why I need this done.” I shrug. “I don’t want anyone to have to do the protecting.”
“Oh, you’re never going to escape that.” Rowan reminds me. “You’re a queen. You’re royalty. Someone is always going to be trying to protect you. While someone else is also always trying to kill you.”
Damn.
The three of us, all incredibly casually dressed, turn toward the front doors of the long hallway that runs the length of the castle. I run through Rowan’s quick tour of the castle trying to distinguish where the portals might be. He didn’t mention any that I know of.
“Where are your portals? Do you not have a hallway filled with them like the Shadow Court?”
“No. Oh, most certainly not. Mother frowns upon such heavy traveling. She says it only creates more Shadow Fae.” Kai tilts his head from side to side contemplating the idea. “She isn’t totally wrong.” He offers a smile.
“Our portals are mostly spread amongst the forest, the one we walked to on your first visit here. You fell right into my arms that day. Do you remember that?” Rowan nudges me with his elbow again.
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, she’s certainly fallen back out of your arms since then.” Kai reaches for the large iron doors. He does nothing more than wave his hand before they swing wide. “We talked about this. You’ve got to back off.”
“I’m not touching her.” He scoffs. “I told you I wasn’t going to touch her.” Rowan points his long lashes at me, batting them. “Unless she asks.”
“I probably won’t be doing that anytime soon.” I suggest, as casually as I can.
“A shame.”
“Ignore him,” Kai adjusts his own backpack. “He wasn’t raised to have the manners it takes to be heir.”
Kai’s jab feels more like the cutting slash of a blade. Rowan walks through the doors, letting them close loudly behind us without even showing his offense. Though, the tips of his ears, poking out of his braids do turn a brilliant red.
This is going to be a long trip.
“So,” I clear my throat. I watch my steps carefully, as I maneuver the couple of steps down to the stone path that leads to the woods. My ankles still mildly hold the pain of my fall from grace last night. “How do I make sure I don’t randomly go through a portal?”
“Well they’re clearly marked.” Kai says, reluctantly adding. “For Fae eyes.”
“Little Mortal eyes may have trouble making out the markings between the trees. So just step where we step and—Briar! What did you do to your head?” Rowan stops behind me. He reaches for the goose egg, from the night before that’s appeared since my head met the innerworkings of my closet in such a personal way, stopping himself before his hand touches it.
My hand trails up into my hair, rubbing it gently. The knot is still tender to every brush of my fingers.
“Is it that bad? That big?” I breathe. Maybe I should have looked in the mirror better if it’s that noticeable.
“You have a second head growing on your head.” Rowan lifts his chin, examining it.
“Stop looking at it. I’m fine.” I step away.
Two warm hands clasp my arms, holding me in my spot. Kai’s eyebrows turn to one as he scrunches them together. “You’re bruised. Who did this to you?”
I slither out from his hands, swatting him away as he tries to reach for me again. A blush creeps up my neck. And now I have to tell them that I did it to myself?
“Just forget about it. We have places to go.” I take a step. In the same heartbeat both Kai and Rowan dart from behind me to form a new wall in front of me. I cross my arms over my chest. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” Kai deadpans.
“Fine. Fine. No one did anything to me. I did it to me. I went to pack my bag last night like you asked but the only real option was that large freaking purse. Is it too much to ask for you Fae to own duffle bags?”
“What’s a duffle bag?” Rowan frowns.
“It’s like a peasant’s suitcase,” Kai whispers back, waving me on to continue.
“Anyway, I couldn’t reach the bag so I climbed the shoe rack.”
Rowan covers his mouth with his hand to hide a smile. “You climbed it?”
“Yeah, I climbed it. Then I promptly fell off of it and banged my head when I fell backwards onto my butt.” We’ll just purposefully leave out the part where I may have also sprained both my ankles.
The Princes look to one another and I prepare myself for some sort of lecture. When they turn back to face me, they fall against one another, bending to hold themselves at their knees as they sputter with laughter.
“Cupcake,” Kai holds the bridge of his nose. “You could have used a servant for help. Or asked me this morning.” He turns to his brother. “We may have more work cut out for us than anticipated on this trip.”
“Stop!” I step off the path around the brothers. “It was an accident. I’m not usually that clumsy.” Then, as if on cue—the entire punchline of the joke—my foot slips on the lip of the trail as I try to step back on it and my feet stumble over themselves.
Broad hands wrap around my shoulders, pulling me upright. Kai does nothing to hide his knowing smirk.
"Children learn to walk, only if they first learn how to fall."
His proverb is probably well meaning. Probably. But right now, it's annoying as fuck.
"I was going to catch myself." I push his hands off me.
"What? With your face?" Rowan snorts pushing past us both. "I'll lead."
With my face. Is it childish of me to mock him right now? Yes. Regrettably, and most stupidly, yes.
"Come now, my sweet." Kai guides me forward. "Off to find you some magic so you can walk like the rest of the grownups."
"Okay, now you're just making fun of me."
"Was I not making fun of you before?"
I trail an eye over the prince. "I'm not sure I'm enjoying this banter."
"Only because you're the brunt of the joke, human." Rowan calls over his shoulder as the shadow of the trees falls over him.
Dew still shines on the leaves. Vines weave up the old bark and onto the branches that hide us from the sky. Animals don't call like they do in the evening, most probably still hiding in their holes not ready to wake for the day. I don't blame them. If it wasn't for the excitement of something new, of an answer to the question I've been asking for some time now, I would still be hiding under the covers until one of the Ziko siblings rolled into my room and demanded something of me.
The stone of the trail is replaced with brush and broken twigs. I'm more careful of my steps now that there is so much more to trip on. If I embarrass myself in front of these men one more time then I'll just go ahead and dig myself a grave. No thank you.
"So how long is this trip?" I ask, trying to pass the time and fill the silence.
"As long as it takes a human to climb a mountain, if I'd have to guess." Kai squints trying to look through the branches. I follow his gaze, wondering what he could be looking for. My eyesight proves to be less helpful.
"Do you have any experience with rock climbing?" Rowan sends me a look over his shoulder. His braids make a gentle noise as they smack against his leather backpack.
"Rowan, I grew up in fucking New York City. Do you thi
nk I have rock climbing experience?"
"I'm not entirely sure what the city you grew up in has much to do with it. But judging by your lack of overall balance, I'd have to guess probably not."
"No, I don't." I admit. Also, I'm out of shape, I think but don't add. "There aren’t many places to go climb mountains in the city and even if there was I've never had that sort of money to just go out and do it on a whim."
"On a whim." Kai echoes. "I have lots of whims."
Oh, I bet you do.
"Yes, you're a prince. You have enough money to have whims. Regular people do not."
"So you were a peasant before?" Rowan says, he crinkles his nose, offended at his own statement and the fact that I'm broker than broke.
"I was not a fucking peasant. Don't call people that. Or Fae for that matter. God, how rude."
"Like you said, we're princes... we can call people whatever we please. Comes with the title." He sticks out his tongue. "That means you soon can too."
"I'd rather not." I place my palm against the nearest tree, the bark rough against my skin. It balances me as I step over a small broken tree limb and an overgrown bush. Kai's hands hover near my waist waiting to catch me if need be. "I'm not going to fall." I reassure him.
"Promise?" Kai whispers, his face near enough I'm certain the word could only be caught by the two of us.
"Promise," I say slowly.
"Almost there!" Rowan calls as he grows farther ahead. The space between us continues to multiply and I have to wonder if he is using some Fae superpower to get ahead or if he truly walks that fast.
I huff. Rowan catches the noise and turns on the toe of his boots, breaking a twig in half under foot. "Too fast for you human? It's going to take us a whole damn week to get up this mountain if this is the pace you're going to go."
"Who even asked you to come? I know I didn't."
Kai hums with laughter behind me. At least he's enjoying this. Sweat has already built along my brows and the day isn't even particularly warm. Maybe I've just been too lazy. Maybe I should start going for runs.
But I don't see these Fae sprinting around the castle. It's got to be the magic. How is it going to change me? Will it hurt when it's released? Will it feel good? The naughty part of me has to guess what the odds on it happening to give me some sort of an orgasm. They've hinted at sex helping me be able to release my powers. God, I hope I don't have to have sex with someone to get it. At least not either of these two men hanging out with me now.