by A. K. Koonce
“A teacher!” The king exclaims. “What a wonderful profession!”
I haven’t the heart to correct him. I was only a teacher’s aide. Would they even know the difference?
“I mean it’s a lot different than being a king or queen,” I laugh nervously. “But I ran into Lincoln and he—”
“A boy.” My mother gasps, holding her chest and sending an excited look toward my father.
“A man. Who is like a hundred years older than me… but that isn’t the point.” It’s hard to stifle my laugh. “Lincoln helped me figure out who I was.”
“He sounds lovely.”
“Are you seeing him?” My father’s brows pinch together.
“No, not exactly—”
“Rihst,” Amelia swats at him. “Don’t judge the boy you’ve never met.”
I bite my lip to hide my growing smile. A thousand questions sit heavy on my tongue, that I can’t bide any longer.
"What... What sort of powers will I have?" I blurt in the small lull in conversation.
My mother scoops my hand into hers, her skin like velvet. She interlaces our fingers and gives my hand a small squeeze. "Well, you'll grow stronger, become faster, your senses will be more developed and more able to focus. You'll have the royal bloodline to thank for most of your abilities to will things into existence. To touch minds to some extent."
"Like a seer?"
Like Lincoln? I want to ask but don't.
"Seers have the ability to see into one's future and one's past. They know all that was and is to come. So, unfortunately, not like a seer. And it won't work on any Fae that has had practice in guarding their minds. But it will work on lesser Fae, other creatures that are unguarded, and most certainly on humans."
I can't imagine having that sort of control. What would I even do with it? Why would I truly want to use it? Power in the human world only corrupts. Will it ruin me too when I become Fae?
"Will it hurt?"
"Would I hurt you?" she says in a hushed tone.
Truthfully, I can't answer that. I don't know her. I know of her. I have a small idea of what she was like and now that she is, I know that she'll only be around for a short period of time.
"I don't want to rush it. I've wanted my whole life to know who my parents were. Then I found you... and you were dead. This is my only chance to talk with you, I don't want to let you go."
The king laughs, dryly, looking to my mother for direction. She gives him a soft smile. Gently, she drapes her arm over my back, her fingertips rest on my father's shoulder and she pats him.
"There is a time limit once you've found your way to us. I put most of my magic into making the realms you have to find your way through to get to us and even then, only someone who is truly honest, someone who truly shares my blood, could lift the veil into this world that we live in. When your father was pulled away, called by the magic to fulfill his duty to the stone, I knew the time was near. I prayed that it was you and not someone else who had gotten their hands on the necklace. These powers are for you and no one else. I'd never let them through." She sighs. "But because so much effort was put into that, our current state is fragile. We only have a few minutes."
"I can feel the spells unraveling and time slipping away." King Rihst says, staring off into the distance. When my mother speaks again, it snaps him out of his haze and turns back to me.
"We need to give you your powers and we need to do it now."
"I have so much to say. So much to ask." My voice is a weak whine. "I don't know where to start."
"Oh, honey. I'm just glad to have seen you. Truly seen you." My mother gathers me in another hug, pressing the perfect skin of her cheek against mine. "It's a mother's dream to see her children grow. But seeing you now... that's satisfactory."
"We've had over twenty years to wonder what you turned out like, what you looked like. You got so much of your mother I'm not sure that it's fair." My father points out.
"That just means, I've finally won the bet. I didn't forget about it!" She laughs.
"I'll make sure to kiss you good before it all ends."
My heart fills with joy, listening to their innocent banter. It's easy to imagine in this moment, that I’d grown up in that mansion listening to them bicker and flirt. That would have been a lovely childhood.
"Don't dwell on what cannot be undone." Amelia turns back to me. She stands, smooths her dress and holds out her hand. As she is, in the physical form that barely lived in her twenties, she looks like she could be my sister. Or my friend. It's harder to picture her as a mother, who at the age of her soul should resemble someone with grey in their hair and laugh lines around their mouth and in the crinkle of their eyes.
"May I have your hand? I think it's time." She keeps her voice firm, without wavering, a testament to her strength. Still, her hands tremble and her chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. "Rihst," she reminds my father.
He stands and offers a hand. "One hand please."
I place one hand in each of theirs. Their palms are smooth and uncalloused, which could be in the makings of their false physical bodies or simply because they were both royalty and never had to do much laboring.
"I love you." Amelia looks into Rihst eyes.
"I love you." He smiles, genuinely back.
They both grip my hands a little tighter. Eventually, they look back down at me. Born from them, half this amazingly brave woman, half this strong leader who bore faults that were not just his own until the day he was murdered.
"I've always loved you." My mother's voice cracks. She brings her free hand up, gently touching her lips. "I promised myself I wasn't going to cry. This is a happy moment. This is what we've waited so long for."
"It's okay." I offer the measly bit of comfort. My eyes still sting as if I could break down at any moment. I’m holding myself together for now, but that effort is brittle and could easily be broken.
"Regret nearly killed me several times in my physical life. But I never regretted creating a child with your mother. I've never regretted you. I love you. Now it's time that you go get that crown. Get what is rightfully yours." He bends down, flipping my hand, and presses a kiss to my palm.
"Close your eyes, Briar." Queen Amelia whispers. "Our time is nearly gone."
I obey, letting my shoulders fall away from my ears. Their grips grow warmer, their voices a soft chant of a language I don't know in the back of my mind. The strong scent of decay and lavender fills my nose. Rain beats against the walls that surround me and a flash of lightning makes the back of my eyelids appear red for a minute.
I close my fist, their hands gone. The voice in the back of my head, the chanting unrecognizable being, continues then slows only a foot away from me. My eyes snap open.
Everything's gone. My parents are gone. My back arches, my body changing, and an untamed cry splits the air.
Fourteen
I Won’t Say I’m In Love
I awake surprised at the softness of the cushions below me and the warmth of the blankets thrown over me. Fuzzy grey and white pelts are draped over my body, tucked underneath my chin. The hair tickles against my cheeks. A hand holds mine, their thumb stroking slowly over my skin. I can hear their breathing, not quite able to open my eyes.
But I’m back. The Iron Court welcomes me so sweetly.
The image of my mother flashes through my thoughts. It's followed quickly by the sight of my father kissing my hand as Kai had done many times.
"Get what is rightfully yours." Replays in his deep baritone voice. It makes my heart pound in my chest. It’s all I can hear. It’s all I can think.
Get what is rightfully yours. Get what is rightfully yours. Get what is rightfully yours.
I gasp, throwing myself into a sitting position. Both hands grab for my chest, for my heart that threatens to break through its cage. The blankets fall to a heap in my lap.
"You okay, Cupcake?" Kai says softly. He stands next to the bed, his hand hovering but not touching
my back. "You're not alone." He reminds me.
I turn to stare at him. He's much cleaner than I remember him on the trip, his hair loose and still wet from a shower. Instead of the unfitted travel clothes he'd donned, he's back in his traditional suit with colorful embroidery. He offers a kind smile.
"I'm okay, Pudding." I try, my returned grin a little weak. Blood rushes to my head. The level floors of my room tip and turn, spinning in blurring circles. I lean into his hand behind me, remembering the Spirit’s bite.
“Your wound!” I shout thinking about how the black blood had made his clothing stick to his skin.
Gently, he pulls his arm away and holds it for me to examine, pushing his sleeve up. “Seer fixed me up. I’m fine. Maybe you should lay back down?"
"Briar?" A raspy voice says.
My hair flies around me as I snap my attention to the familiar voice. I push both hands against the mattress to steady myself. Butterflies build inside my stomach, an excitement that swells inside of me. My cheeks automatically flush.
"Lincoln?"
He's dressed similarly to Kai, his tailored pants a more muted tone and without a jacket or fancy design. Lincoln pulls himself away from the tall purple tinted window, his attention shifting between me and his brother.
I look down at my hand, realizing that in my effort to steady myself, I’ve taken Kai's hand again. Kai still watches me with gentleness, unbothered by his brother. Even though my head spins slightly, I pull both my hands into my lap and intertwine them. My fingers are longer, more delicate, my nails suddenly perfectly manicured.
"I'm different." The words are a shock. As if the recognition of it alone is a rubber band, something snaps inside of my brain. It ticks so hard I press against my temples with a groan.
Then I can hear it. I can hear it all. Lincoln's heartbeat. Kai's heartbeat. The sound of the blood rushing through their veins. In the halls, guards shift at their posts, mumbling quietly to each other. I can't make out what they say, but the second I focus on it it's like I'm part of their conversation.
My eyes grow wide as I look around the room. If I thought color was vibrant before... it's somehow deeper now. More meaningful. Lincoln’s warm and musky scent lingers in the room, it mingles with Kai's, less rugged, fresh smell.
I pat myself, feeling my body, working my way up to my ears to find that they've stretched to a point. Yes… that is it. The seconds when I found myself inside that stupid cave on top of the volcano with Zeve, I wasn't in pain… I was being stretched. Even my legs feel a tad longer now, and I am already tall for a woman as it is.
"I'm sure it will take a moment to get used to." Kai draws his hand back into his lap and leans in the chair that sits next to the bed.
"Have you been here this whole time?" I ask him.
"Carried you back and waited for you to wake. You're my guest, my friend, I owe you as much."
"And you?" I turn back to Lincoln. Seeing his wide frame in person again, makes it almost painful to stay where I am. I'd imagined letting him circle me within his arms, letting our bodies line up in the way that they so perfectly do.
"Your mind went blank. I couldn't hear anything." His lips press into a thin line and he takes a step closer. "I came as soon as I could and found you... like this."
"Let me help you up," Kai offers. "I'm sure you'll find the world much different now that your sight has much improved."
"Do I look different?"
"Same Briar we all know and love." Kai smirks. "No, you didn't suddenly turn into a fairytale princess."
"I don't believe you." I laugh.
In my peripheral, Lincoln cringes but quickly masks it by running his hand down his face. Dark stubble has grown on his chin, not long enough to be called a beard but not clean enough to be bare.
If I did transform into some sort of princess, Fae being, then I'd expect that my body wouldn't feel so exhausted right now. Perhaps that's normal considering I just went through some sort of crazy change from totally human to partially Fae. Is there even a normal to compare this to? How often did Shadow Fae get their magic half stripped from them?
I place both my feet on the floor. My boots and the well-worn socks are long since gone. Has someone cleaned me? Dressed me? I glance at my body, worked into a simple red bra and matching panty set connected by only a few straps. I suppose this should be the least shocking thing considering the Fae don't have many boundaries and Lincoln's put me in and out a few outfits at this point. Still the tips of my ears burn.
With the first few steps, Lincoln moves toward me but slows when he realizes Kai's already there. The Prince hovers, holding his hands out ready to catch me should my body give out.
"Relax," I tell them both. "I gained powers, I didn't somehow get new legs." Even if they do shake a little with each step.
"Just a precaution." Kai continues to hold his hands out.
Lincoln's steps stop, his boots firmly planting to the ground, and his arms fold across his chest. He watches me, all emotions wiped clean from his face.
There is a mirror just inside the bathroom. I don't bother to hide my very bare backside as I drag myself over to the other room. Bright white light turns on in a flash as I enter. My eyes take no time to adjust and I realize... I could see the room clearly before the light even turned on.
I grab the mirror and pull myself toward it. My hair falls over my shoulders, not even slightly tousled from the long sleep I'd just awoken from. The strands perfectly align with one another, the honey hues of the brown appearing much more gold. Even my lips looked stained with some sort of color and my skin is that much clearer.
Small points of blue clasp over my shoulder. I squint at them wondering if the lingerie is multicolored. Looking over my shoulder, I give the mirror my back. My lungs fill with the rush of air and I almost jump away from the mirror entirely. It’s not lingerie. It’s… it’s wings.
Stretched membranous blue wings glitter in the light. They’re tucked flat against my back and curve down over my hips I quickly realize. With the thought, they shudder, a foreign feeling that’s almost outside of my body all together. The edges peel up from my shoulders and off of my hips floating behind me. Almost as if I’m moving an arm or a leg but shaky. More like… I’m learning how to walk.
They flap in small strokes behind my back. The movement isn’t smooth, every sway of the wings looks more like a twitch or a jerk.
"You said that I look the same!" I shout. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ears and stare at the pointed edges, still baffled by my wings. "I look a thousand times different."
Maybe it's the outfit but... I totally look taller. I feel taller.
Kai pokes his head in, stepping aside to make room for Lincoln who follows. Lincoln's arms are still crossed over his chest as he slouches in the doorframe.
"Your ears have changed." Kai points a finger at me.
I huff and lunge forward grabbing the prince by the sleeve of his arm and drag him with me into the mirror. He watches me in the reflection, his attention safely staying on my face. I turn and find Lincoln's attention traveling farther down my body.
"I'm taller." I face him.
My nose pretty well aligns with his and he leans forward till we're touching. "Would you look at that?”
"So you got taller?" Lincoln interjects. Kai stiffens and leans away. "Everything else is seriously identical."
"So my hair was always this perfect? My skin without flaws?"
"Yes."
I narrow my gaze and turn to Kai. He clasps his hands in front of him.
"I think your human eyes may have been broken." Kai tucks his hair behind his ear and leans forward, whispering out the corner of his sly smirk. "You've always been this lovely, Briar."
“I have wings!” I scream with a bewildered laugh.
“You’re a true Shadow Fae. What did you expect?” Is the best Lincoln can offer.
My lips curl because I'm certain they are pulling my leg. I lean into the mirror, picking apart my ap
pearance. My body, that I would typically consider not all that curvy unless I create some sort of optical illusion with clothing, is now more defined. I can't imagine that these men have both seen me like I am now.
"I don't believe either of you." My ears catch foreign footsteps, and I straighten as I narrow down where exactly the steps are coming from.
Someone is coming to fetch, Kai. Lincoln whispers only to me. His words in my head are quickly followed by a swift knock at the door.
"Duty calls." Kai bows low before me then escorts himself out of the room.
Lincoln places his hands on his lean hips and turns to the side to let him through, watching his brother as he walks away. There’s a hush that falls in Kai’s absence. The static between us is thick with unspoken words and thoughts we both ignore. The door clicks shut behind the prince and I can hear him and whoever came for him mumbling in the hallway.
I turn to Lincoln. His arms fill the sleeves of his button up shirt, making the curve of his biceps more apparent. It takes all of me not to reach for him.
"I'm glad you came."
Lincoln drops his arms, pinning me with a dark stare. I drop my chin. He sways as he walks, every movement predatory, every step full of staggering confidence. His gaze meets mine at my newfound height. My tongue darts out to moisten my bottom lip. Is it enough to convince him to kiss me? Or are we nothing now?
I don't want to be nothing. I want to be something, anything, and everything with and to him. But he needs to fight for us. He needs to accept us. So the question then really becomes, does he want to be something?
The rough stubble on his cheek scratches against mine as he leans into me. "You and Kai seem to have really hit it off."
There isn't an ounce of me that's willing to pretend like we aren't attracted to each other or even that I don't want him. I've let life give me whatever I get and counted it as good enough. I'm new now. I'm wholly myself for the first time ever.
And I'm chasing what I want.
My arms slip over his wide shoulders, clasping firmly around his neck, pulling him toward my mouth. His hands don't hover in the polite way Kai's would. They grab ahold of my hips, helping me balance as I lean into him. Even through his clothing, he's warm against all my bare skin.