by Monica James
“It’s okay to feel bad that he’s dead. I’d be worried if ya didn’t. Yer vulnerability makes ye strong. It makes ya human—my human. But his death, it’s on me. And I need ya to forgive me for that.”
“Forgive you?” she says in a whisper.
“Aye. If ya want forever, then ya need to be okay with the fact that the man ye love was the man who killed yer father. You need to forgive me. I mean truly forgive me, and then you’ll need to forgive yerself for lovin’ me.”
Her chest rises and falls slowly as she processes what I just said.
“If ya need time, I understand. I—”
She steps forward, reaching for my hand and pressing it over her heart. “I don’t need time. I just need you. I’ll always need you. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I’ll always want you. I forgive you. And I love you too.”
And just like that, the world becomes whole once more.
“I’m sorry for lashing out,” she softly says. “I just…it was a lot seeing that. I thought I’d be okay with it, and I am. I just…”
“I understand,” I gently interject, cupping her cheek. “There’s no need to explain. Death is never an easy thing.”
“And you saw your mother murdered when you were five years old. I can’t imagine what that would have been like, but after tonight, I get it. I understand why you need vengeance. Not just for your mom but for yourself as well.”
To hear those words appeases me of some guilt. It makes me feel like maybe I’m not such a monster, after all.
Babydoll reaches for my hands and examines them closely. “These hands,” she whispers, “they’ve killed.”
“They have. And they’ll kill again.”
“But they’ve also healed,” she reasons. “They’ve also shown kindness. And love.”
I’m her prisoner as she lifts up her ballooned skirt with my hand still in hers and places my hand over the outside of her underwear. I hiss when I feel the thin silk is damp with her arousal. She coaxes me to rub her slowly.
“I didn’t mean it,” she says, locking eyes with me as I begin rubbing circles over her pussy. “I would never be with anyone else. I don’t want anyone else.”
Her comment has me thinking about Rory. I should feel a sliver of guilt for being here, with Cami this way, but I don’t.
“I don’t want anyone else either. Yer my forever, Camilla. I love you.”
A contented cry leaves her as she stands on her toes and presses her lips to mine. Our walls have been obliterated, and I’ve never been more terrified in my life.
Love is a battlefield, and we’re fighting unarmed.
Babydoll arches into my touch, begging for more, and more I give when I slip my hand into her underwear and sink two fingers into her pussy. She whimpers into my mouth, circling my tongue with hers.
I begin playing with her, her body always so ready for me. It’s a turn-on to know she wants me as much as I want her.
When she gets my belt and zipper undone, she slips her hand into my trousers, humming when she feels my erection. As I delve in deeper, faster, Babydoll takes my shaft into her hand and begins to stroke me up and down.
I almost come because it feels so fucking good.
I forget we’re in an abandoned manor, covered in blood, with our friends waiting outside for us. I forget everything but this. Nothing else matters but her.
Removing my fingers from her pussy, I tear off her underwear with a sharp tug, kick off my trousers, and lift her up quickly before she can protest. She knows what I want as she adjusts herself over my aching cock and slowly rubs herself over me as I slam her back against the wall.
Looking into her eyes, I grip under her thighs as she wraps her hands around the back of my neck. The moment she holds on tight, I sink into her perfect cunt. We both shudder, paralyzed from being connected this way again after so long.
I bounce her on my cock, holding her weight as she uses the wall for support. This angle allows us to see our connection clearly, and each time I pull out and slam back into her, we groan at the sight. I fuck her hard and fast, her back thumping into the wall with each brutal stroke.
She whimpers, her muscles tightening around me as I fuck her without apology. This is savage and uncontrolled because we have ten years of pent-up tension to expel. When Babydoll’s gaze drops to our union, I almost lose my shit and come right then and there.
“I played with myself so many times thinking of you. It was the only time I could come,” she confesses, licking her lips as I pull out and rub her pussy with the tip of my cock before sliding back in.
“Come now, Baby,” I pant, holding her thighs so hard, I’m certain I’ll leave bruises.
“Not yet,” she moans, pumping her hips and meeting me stroke for stroke. “I want more.”
Before I can ask what more she wants, she presses her lips and commences bouncing on my cock wildly. Pieces of the wall begin to crumble, and the balcony floor starts to shake.
Still rooted deep within her, I spin her around and walk into the bedroom. I don’t want to put her onto the filthy floor, so I use the far wall as support. I slam her back against it and continue fucking her fiercely. She milks my body, gripping me tight, and when she arches her back, rocking against me frantically, we fall through the flimsy wall and into the next room, which happens to be the bathroom.
We don’t stop, though. I hold her, fucking her as she fucks me.
Our lovemaking is clearly hazardous, and I can’t stop my smirk at the fact.
She moves up and down, side to side, driving me crazy as her pussy hugs me tight. We’re standing in the middle of the room, with Babydoll bouncing on my cock and me holding her weight, and nothing has been more perfect.
We’re face-to-face, watching the other intently, and I don’t remember ever feeling this connected to anyone before.
Even compared to before with Babydoll, this is something more.
Her breasts are trapped beneath her dress, which is a shame. “I hope yer not too attached to this dress,” I pant with a grin.
Before she can ask why, I grip the mesh in my fist, tear it coarsely, and free her beautiful breasts. When they bounce free, I lower my mouth to her left nipple and suckle her hungrily.
She moans, arching her back and granting me full access to her glorious breasts. I can’t stop. I want to taste every inch of her.
“I want to be on top,” she breathlessly says, yanking on my hair and coaxing me to press my mouth to hers.
We kiss like starved creatures as she lowers her feet to the floor. I pull out, only for her to shove me onto my back where she bunches up her skirt and straddles me. I lean up on my elbows, watching in awe as she slowly lowers herself onto my cock.
When I’m sheathed all the way, I growl and lower myself onto the floor before I pass out in ecstasy as she commences fucking me.
She places her hands on my chest, rocking against me passionately. Her hair has come loose, and it cascades down her bowed back as she moves backward and forward. I take a moment to appreciate this moment because, wild and free, Babydoll is a vision.
She is unguarded, taking her pleasure from me because she knows where she stands. She knows this feeling is forever.
I grip her arse, encouraging her to take everything from me because I want to please her. I want to take care of my girl. She squeezes me tightly, moaning and writhing madly. I know she’s close.
“Fuck!” she cries out, leaning forward and sealing her mouth over mine. I don’t know where her breaths end and mine start as we consume the other whole.
She continues riding me, and when she rocks faster, I almost come because it feels so fucking good.
Gripping her throat in one hand, I use the other to rub over her clit.
“I love you,” she mewls, lifting her hips and slamming onto my cock. “Say it. Tell me you love me.”
“I love you, Baby. I always have.”
She whimpers, squeezing her eyes shut as she tosses her head back an
d convulses around me. She comes loudly, not muting her cries of pleasure as she milks every last tremor from me.
When her cries quell, I give her a second to recover before I spring up and take her with me.
Her eyes pop open, and I chuckle. “Ya didn’t think we were done, did ye?”
Spinning her around, I coax her to grip the sink as I lift her dress and run my hand over her beautiful arse. I can’t help myself as I smack her rounded cheek.
She springs forward with the force before coming back for more. But that can wait.
Spreading her wide, I enter her pussy slowly, savoring every fucking second. She moans, gripping the sink and arching her back to deepen the angle. I take my time, watching the way my cock slips in and out of her.
She bounces back, taking all of me deeply, and I growl, the feeling beyond words.
Gripping her hips, I increase the tempo, reading her needy mewls as her wanting more. Her body is fervently thrust backward and forward, backward and forward that when she springs back, the sink she’s gripping suddenly detaches from the wall and drops to the floor with a thud.
I catch her from falling, wrapping my arms around her waist and bracing her against the wall. She presses her hands to it while I continue fucking her from behind. Babydoll leans forward to ground herself while I grip her hips and drive into her—hard.
She slams her fist against the wall, shattering the plaster. At this rate, we’re going to destroy the house before I come.
“More,” she demands, flipping her hair and looking over her shoulder at me.
Seeing her flushed cheeks and swollen lips has me picking up the speed. She arches her back, which allows me to hit her deep.
“Fuck! Oh God, you feel so good.”
The house begins to shake around us because I’m far from gentle as I cup her throat and arch her head back so I can kiss the living fuck out of her. I continue pumping my hips, fucking her hard and fast as I chase my release.
She bites over my lip piercing before running her tongue over the sting. She’s hungry for me, and I am for her, and when she convulses, coming with a sated groan, I follow suit and am about to pull out.
But she stops me by reaching around and locking her hand to my hip, forcing me to stay connected with her. “Come inside me.”
I’m too far gone to argue, so with two fierce pumps, I come long and hard. “Fuck!” I growl, the world eclipsed in light as I forget everything but this feeling of utter ecstasy.
When I’m done, I sag against her back, my breathing accelerated, my heart almost soaring from my chest. We stay this way for minutes, both attempting to catch our breaths because that was something else.
Kissing her shoulder, I gently pull out, instantly missing the connection. Babydoll whimpers, revealing she misses the feel of me too.
“Fucking hell,” I pant, looking around at the damage we created. “We destroyed the place.”
A laugh leaves Babydoll as she too looks around the room and the demolished wall we fell through. She turns to face me, her tousled hair and flushed cheeks just getting me hard once again.
Stepping forward, I run my thumb across her plump bottom lip. It’s swollen from when I almost ate her alive. “I didn’t hurt ya?”
She shakes her head timidly. “No, not at all.”
We’re basking in the moment of utter perfection, eyes locked as a single look can say so many things. We’re so lost in one another that when Rory appears, it’s too late to conceal what we just did.
“If you two are done, check yer phones.”
Babydoll gasps, only realizing we’re no longer alone.
She quickly attempts to piece the mesh together to cover her breasts, but uses her arm instead to cover her nudity.
“Rory!” she cries, but he shakes his head firmly, not interested in hearing what she has to say.
My trousers are in the other room, so I discreetly cover my cock, not wanting to rub Rory’s nose in what we just did. Seeing my torn shirt hanging off me is a sure sign that Babydoll and I didn’t just have sex; we fucked like wild animals and loved every second of it.
Rory stands in the doorway, fists bunched by his sides. I won’t stop him if he wants to fight me. I deserve it. He doesn’t say a word, though. He just turns his back and leaves us alone, forcing us to deal with the consequences of our actions.
“Oh, fucking hell, mate,” Cian says as he runs into the room. He too is now privy to what we did. “Can ya put some trousers on?”
“They’re in the other room,” I say, and when Cian sees the broken wall, he sighs.
Babydoll turns her back, covering herself. Her shoulders jolting hint that she’s crying tears of guilt and shame.
“Ya need to sort this out with Rory, but now, we have to go to yer gaff.”
The urgency in his tone has me forgetting everything. “What’s happened?”
When he shakes his head, I remember what Rory said.
Kicking the wall to break through it, I find my trousers and retrieve my phone. There are an abundant number of texts and missed calls. I decide to listen to the voicemail instead. When I do, my entire world crumbles, and I doubt it’ll ever be whole again.
“Punky, it’s me. They’re go-gone. He…took them. Pl-please help me. I’m hurt…really bad.” And the line goes dead. The caller is Hannah, and there’s no guessing who he is.
And just like that, our perfection is blown to utter shite.
I sit, staring out the window, Rory’s jacket concealing what I did.
I don’t deserve his kindness, but I accepted his jacket when he offered it to me, for my sake as well as his. I didn’t want to rub in the fact that I had sex with his best friend, and I liked it—a lot.
Rory came to me, offering his comfort, and in return, I asked for Punky instead.
Vomit rises, but I swallow it down. I brought this onto myself, and now, my punishment is my sister being taken. I don’t know the details, but neither does Punky. All we’re going off is the panicked voicemail Hannah left.
Punky sits across from me in the back of Rory’s car. I want nothing more than to comfort him because, once again, Sean has outsmarted us. But I can’t.
His foot continuously bouncing and his fists bunched by his sides all hint he’s about to explode.
I don’t understand how Sean knew Hannah and Eva were alone with Ethan. No one knew where Punky was tonight. Punky said Ronan and his men, men Punky said we could trust, were keeping watch over his house, but Sean was still able to get to them.
Whenever we underestimate Sean, he goes and does something like this, punishing us for our carelessness. If anything happens to Eva because of me…
With the subtlest of movements, Punky slides his hand across the back seat and touches my little finger with his. This is the only way he can console me without fucking things up more than we already have.
I don’t look at him, but instead, stroke my little finger against his, a silent thank you for offering me comfort when I don’t deserve it.
When Rory turns into Punky’s driveway, we break apart because everything is about to change.
Punky doesn’t wait for the car to stop. He opens the door and launches out of it, breaking into a sprint to his home. Rory turns off the car, but he doesn’t get out. Cian looks over his shoulder at me, begging I clear the air because we don’t need any more drama to add to the shit pile.
He exits the car and chases after Punky while I stay in the car with Rory. I don’t know what to say because, honestly, there is nothing I can say to excuse what I did.
Do I regret having sex with Punky?
No. It was the first time in ten years I’ve felt alive.
What I regret is hurting Rory the way I did. I wish he didn’t see what he did, as I can only imagine what a kick in the teeth that was for him. I don’t want him to think I ended things because of Punky. He was a reason, but in the end, I did it for me.
And for Rory.
I don’t love him, and pretending t
hat I do is the cruelest thing I could ever do. He doesn’t deserve that, and I know he hates me right now, but I hope one day, he’ll understand.
“Is that why ya ended things? ’Cause of him?”
With a sigh, I shake my head even though Rory won’t look at me. “No, not entirely.”
“So in part then?”
I don’t want to lie to him. “Yes, in part. But I did this for you.”
“Oh, bullshit!” he exclaims, slamming his hand against the steering wheel. “Don’t give me that bollocks. Ya did this ’cause ya never stopped lovin’ him. Even when ya thought he was yer brother.”
I don’t reply because what would be the point?
He’s right.
“I know you hate me.”
“I don’t hate ye,” he counters, his voice cold. “I pity ya, Cami. Y’ll never be happy with him because trouble will always follow Puck. Yer sister is now God knows where ’cause of him, and it won’t stop there.”
“Don’t you dare say that! Eva is my responsibility. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. I failed her. I thought she’d be okay.”
“Well, ya thought wrong. Can’t ye see that he’s bad for ya?”
Tears I’ve tried so hard to keep at bay trickle down my cheeks because he’s right. I know being with Punky isn’t going to be easy, but I don’t have a choice. If I could stop loving him, I would have ten years ago.
But I can’t.
He is as much a part of me as I am myself. The love I feel for him is indescribable because there aren’t any words to express how much he means to me. The only time I feel whole is when I’m with him. I don’t care about the uncertainties which face us. As long as we’re together, we can tackle anything.
“Y’ve got nothin’ to say?” He finally looks at me in the rearview mirror, and I see pure hate reflected in his eyes.
“What do you want me to say, Rory? That I’m sorry? Well, I’m not. I can’t help who I love, and I won’t apologize for putting myself first for once. I didn’t want you to find out this way, but I—”
“Get out,” he snarls, not allowing me to finish. “Y’ve made yer choice.”
Not once has he ever spoken to me this way. But I suppose you can only break someone’s heart so many times before they snap.