by Monica James
“Whatever happens tomorrow, know that I love ye more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
Even though I wish he wouldn’t speak this way, I know he needs to get this off his chest. We don’t know what tomorrow brings, but we can march into it with no regrets.
“We’ll be okay,” I say for both our sakes.
“I hope so, but we don’t know that. But what I do know is that I’m a better man for lovin’ you.”
I feel a soft prod against my back entrance, and when I freeze, Punky continues whispering sweet nothings into my ear.
“And no matter what happens”—he enters me an inch—“I want you to know that.”
When my muscles accept this foreign intrusion, Punky sinks into me a little farther. I suddenly feel so full.
“I want ye to know that my heart belongs to you. You own me—mind.”
He continues entering me while I mewl at this unexpected pleasure.
“Body.”
I feel like I’m being split in two…and I like it.
“And soul.”
When Punky stops, placing his forehead on my shoulder, I wonder if he’s done. But when I turn over my shoulder, I see he’s not even halfway there.
“Do ya want me to stop?”
“No,” I whisper, wanting this more than I need air to breathe.
He grips my chin between his thumb and finger and presses his lips to mine. I whimper into his mouth as he continues to enter me slowly from behind and plays with my clit. He is everywhere, all over me, and just when I think this can’t get any better, he’s buried inside me to the hilt.
A shudder passes through me as he stills, allowing me time to adjust. I never thought I could feel so complete, but I’ve never felt more connected to another human being than I do right now, which is why I reach around and place a hand on Punky’s lower back.
With our lips still locked, I gently encourage him to move, and move he does.
He gently thrusts his hips, stretching me wide, before he pulls out halfway and then slides back in. The Vaseline allows him to move inside me a little more comfortably, and when we move in unison, finding our rhythm, he whispers, “Can I go faster?”
I nod.
He sinks into me deeply before pulling all the way out. I instantly miss the connection, but he soon slides back in, smoother this time, making me moan at the sensation. He removes his fingers from my sex and places his hands on my hips.
He drives into me harder and faster, and the burn I feel is toeing the line between pleasure and pain. But I focus on the pleasure because knowing Punky is losing himself this way, knowing he is finally letting go has me bouncing back and taking everything he gives.
The burn soon fades, and I am lost to every passionate moment, every breathless moan which spills from him as he devours every inch of me. This act is filled with nothing but love and respect, and I promise myself here, now, I’ll do everything in my power to protect Punky.
The mirror in front of me allows me to see how the world sees us. We fit, in every sense of the word. We are both slathered in war paint, our bodies bending in need. If the sight of Punky, wearing his skull face and fucking me brutally, isn’t the hottest thing I have ever seen, then I don’t know what is.
“Oh, fuck,” he grunts, dropping his forehead to my back as he pumps his hips.
I reach down and begin playing with my clit because the build-up is almost unbearable. He is everywhere, yet I can’t get enough. He rotates his hips in a way that has me feeling so incredibly full.
“Ye feel fucking incredible,” he says in that smooth accent that gets me so damn hot. “I love you. No matter what happens, y’ll always be the one for me. I know we can’t live forever, but I want to leave behind something that will—my love for you.”
His words touch me in ways that have tears springing to life. “I love you too. I always have. Come back to me. Promise me?”
He suckles the side of my neck, fucking me hard. “I’ll always be with ye.”
It’s not the answer I want, but it’s enough. “And I with you.”
“And for that, I’m the luckiest man alive.”
He places his hand over mine, circling my clit in just the right way and as he thrusts deep, I come with a loud, sated moan.
“Fucking beautiful,” Punky grunts before I feel him join me in this pure bliss.
Our bodies are sweaty and warm, and I bask in the afterglow because I feel so content being united this way. Punky kisses my shoulder before pulling out. The moment he does, my body grows lax, and I fall onto my stomach, placing the pillow under my head.
I hear him moving about, but I don’t know where he’s gone until I feel a warmth at my backside. Turning over my shoulder, I smile when I see Punky gently cleaning me.
“I hope I wasn’t too rough with ya.” He uses another washcloth to wipe my face clean. Most of his face paint has smudged off, but he still looks like a beautiful mess.
“No,” I reply, suddenly exhausted. “I did ask for you to lose control. You were quite tame.”
He smirks, wiping his face clean, before tossing the washcloth into the laundry hamper and joins me on the bed. He drags me into his arms so we’re nose to nose.
A lifetime ago, I would have felt self-conscious being nestled this way. I would have been afraid Punky could see straight through me and see my flaws. But not now. This confirms how far we’ve come. The thought that it might be ripped away tomorrow has tears welling.
“No tears,” he whispers, wiping a tear away with his thumb. “I couldn’t bear it.”
I know he’s asking me to be strong tomorrow because he can’t do what he must without a clear head.
Quickly pulling it together, I smile, but it’s strained. “No tears. I promise.”
He nods, gently pressing a kiss to my brow.
Moments later, his soft breathing indicates he is asleep. Pressing my ear to his chest, I listen to the steady rhythm of his heart. The sound comforts me, and if possible, I snuggle closer to him, never wanting to let go.
But come tomorrow, I won’t have a choice. To save the world as we know it, I have to sacrifice my world.
Even though I promised Punky no tears, a single one trickles down my cheek and I hope it’s the last one I’ll shed for a long time.
I hope.
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I’m sure.”
“All right then. It’s all done. Good luck, Puck,” Darcy says as she signs on the dotted line near my signature.
I didn’t go into details, but she knows today will change everything. That is why I called her and organized a will.
If anything goes wrong, I want to be prepared.
She’s told her dad to be on alert, but he can look after himself. Patrick Duffy has an army of men who will protect him. Darcy should be with him, but she insisted she would be of more use here. I understand what she means—she’ll fight and help protect everything dear to me.
“Thank you, Darcy. For everythin’.” I want her to know that I appreciate everything she’s done for me.
“You can take me out for tea to say thanks,” she says, wanting to lighten the mood. She still has feelings for me but has accepted that we won’t be anything but friends.
“Sure thing.” I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make good on that promise, but I hope that I do.
I’m relieved I got that sorted so I can focus on the task at hand. And when there is a knock on my front door, it seems that time is now.
Opening it, I smile on instinct when I see Babydoll. However, she looks to be anything but happy. She gives me a warm embrace, snuggling close.
She left this morning to grab a few things and pick up Hannah and Fiona, who stand behind her. If looks could kill, I’d be a smothering pile of ashes because Fiona makes clear she’s here because she has no other choice.
“Hi, Baby,” I whisper into her ear.
She merely holds on tighter in response.
I unders
tand how difficult this is for her. It is for me too. But, together, they are safe. I can go into this fight with a clear head, which is what I need to defeat Sean.
She lets me go and enters, nodding a greeting when she sees Darcy.
I’ve asked Darcy not to tell anyone about the will. It’ll just worry them.
Cian arrives a few minutes later with Amber and my grandparents. I haven’t spoken to them since I got out of jail. The last time I saw my grandparents, I had burned down the house which started this quest for revenge.
I made it clear I had no interest in them being a part of my life, and that hasn’t changed. But I won’t leave them vulnerable. Anyone tied to me is at risk, and I won’t give Sean the satisfaction of gathering more pawns to blackmail me with.
Amber stays close to Cian, making clear she wishes Cian was the one staying here, not Rory.
She looks how I remember, and seeing her after all this time has a flood of memories coming back. She was good to the twins and me. She deserves more than a casual wave.
“Hi, Amber. It’s good seein’ ye.” She nods, and when I extend my hand, she begrudgingly accepts.
“Hi, Puck. It’s good seeing you too. I wish it was under different circumstances, but trouble always seems to follow you. That hasn’t changed.”
“Amber,” Cian gently scolds, shaking his head.
But she’s right. “It’s all right, Cian.”
He sighs, and they enter my home without another word.
My grandparents sheepishly enter. Keegan is too proud to acknowledge me, but my grandma, Imogen, gives me a loose hug. “We’ve missed ya, chile.”
I don’t bother replying because even though I am still angry with them for what they did to my mum, I can’t deny being with them helps me feel closer to my ma.
She realizes this is the best she’s going to get, and she and Keegan quickly stand off to the side.
“How ye feelin’?” I ask Hannah, gently touching her cheek.
Fiona instantly steps forward, a silent warning I’ll lose a finger if I don’t remove my hand from her daughter.
Hannah ignores her mum. “I’m better. I’m worried about ye, though.”
Fiona scoffs, rolling her eyes. “It’s ’cause of him we’re in this mess.”
No one bothers to take the bait, though, because we have bigger fish to fry.
“Be careful, Puck,” Hannah says, her lower lip trembling. “I can’t lose ye again.”
When tears begin to fall, I draw her into my arms and kiss the top of her head. “Ya can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Good, ’cause I don’t want to.”
Amber walks over, gently consoling Hannah. She can’t help but come to her aid as a part of her, I’m sure, still sees her as the little girl she raised. Fiona was too busy spending Connor’s money to care for her kids. So her caring mother act has come too little, too late.
When I hear Rory’s tires crunch over the gravel, I inhale evenly because it’s time.
When Cian and I walk outside to greet him, we see a convoy of cars driving toward us. Logan Doherty and his men are here to help Rory if needed. I only hope I’ve done the right thing in trusting him. The other names on that list are waiting for me at the factory. This is what happens when you forget where loyalty lies.
May the best man win.
Rory has a large bag over his shoulder, no doubt filled with weapons. He nods at Cian but grunts my way. He’s still pissed off at me, and that’s okay. As long as he protects Cami, he can hate me for as long as he likes.
“Everyone inside?”
“Aye,” Cian replies. “Yer all set?”
Rory nods. “As ready as I can be. Are ye sure Logan and his men can be trusted?”
“I’m not sure of anythin’,” I reply honestly. “But what other choice do we have? Hide like a bunch of pussies, waitin’ for Sean and Liam to strike? Or bring the fight to us? If Logan steps out of line, ya know what to do.”
Rory’s nostrils flare. “He wouldn’t dare after everythin’ he’s done.”
We’re all hoping that’s the case, but we can’t be sure.
Cian and Rory go inside, and Cian knows what to do—arm everyone.
I wait for Logan to approach me. “Bout ye? Ye ready?”
“Aye, I am. Did ya do what I asked?”
“Yes. I’ve let everyone know yer callin’ a meetin’ at the factory. Some are awful mad at what ya did to Brody. I suspect they’ve told Liam where y’ll be. Even though all of them know about the meetin’, most of them won’t be there. I assume they’ll be with Liam.
“The ones that do come, they were once loyal to Connor. I believe if it comes down to that, they will fight with ya. That’s why they’ll come. To listen to what ye have to say.”
“Grand, that’s what I was hopin’ for.”
Logan doesn’t hide his surprise but doesn’t ask questions. “Ya can count on us, Puck. We won’t let anythin’ happen to yer family. Connor was good to us. We haven’t forgotten that.”
I hope he’s telling me the truth.
I give him directions to where his men are to wait. The grounds are open, so we need eyes everywhere. I wish I had more time to set traps, but I don’t. This is the best I can do.
He shakes my hand. “Good luck to ye. May God be on yer side.”
“God has nothin’ to do with this. But thank you.”
The men behind Logan are all familiar faces. Some left the business when Connor died, and others worked for Brody and maybe Sean. I hate that I don’t have the time to interrogate them, but I have to trust Logan because he knows if he fucks me over, his family will pay for his sins.
With nothing left to say, I turn back to the house, and when I see Babydoll waiting in the doorway for me, I gesture she’s to meet me around the back. We walk in silence, both pensive because, how do you say goodbye to the person you love?
We come to a stop in front of the rose garden.
She wraps her arms around her middle, a tiny whimper escaping her.
“Rory given ya a gun?”
She nods, staring vacantly at the roses.
“Cami, please look at me.”
She takes her time but eventually does what I ask.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know, but I’m going to try my hardest to make sure that it is,” I reply honestly. “If this were a film, or some romance novel, the hero would have a flawless plan where he wins and lives happily ever after. But it’s not. And I’m no hero.”
“Yes, you are,” she argues, toying with the necklace around her neck. It’s under her T-shirt, but I can see it’s the chain I gave her. It gives me comfort knowing she wears it. “You’re going into the unknown, but what you do know is that Liam and Sean will be waiting for you.”
“I can’t wait any longer. I wish this were different. But ten years ago, I learned that even the best-laid plans fail.”
“Please don’t die,” she whispers, expressing her fears aloud.
“I’ll try not to.” And I mean it because, if all else fails, I have a plan B. But no one can know of it because they’ll all stop me. But if it comes to it, I won’t falter. This way, everyone wins.
She sniffs back her tears, keeping to her promise. “Good, because you still owe me a date.”
I smirk, reaching for her and holding her close.
“Don’t hesitate,” I say. “If anyone is at risk, ya shoot.”
“I will.”
I wish I didn’t have to leave, but I do, and I wonder if this is what your heart being torn into two feels like. “I love you, but love is just a word we give to somethin’ so primeval. What I feel for ye can’t be put into words.”
She throws her arms around me, hugging me tightly.
I memorize her scent. The way she feels in my arms. I memorize what it’s like being loved by her because it’s what will help me fight.
“Stay safe.”
“You to
o.” Her voice cracks as she lets me go.
I can’t stand to see her in pain.
Slamming my mouth over hers, I rob her of air as I want this to be the last memory we have. I want it to be of our love and not sadness or fear.
She kisses me back, gripping my hair and pressing me close. She doesn’t want me to go, but she knows she must.
On an exhale, I let her go and nuzzle my nose against hers. “See ya soon.”
“Yup, see ya.” She can barely speak, but that’s okay.
We walk back to the house, where she lets go of my hand and quickly enters without looking back. I understand why.
Rory stands outside, waiting for me. “Here.” He offers me a phone. “It’s a secure line, and I’ll be able to track yer every move. And y’ll be able to track mine.”
Rory’s knowledge of this sort of stuff is priceless. No matter our differences, he has come through in the end.
“Take care of her,” I say, pushing aside the awkwardness.
“I will,” he replies. “I’m doin’ this for her.”
He wants to make clear he isn’t here for me, and that’s all right.
Cian appears with a bag slung over his shoulder. “Should we head?”
I nod, taking one last look at the house filled with the people who are relying on me not to fail.
We say our goodbyes, and I’m thankful Rory didn’t make it a soppy farewell. Regardless of what we face, he still wants me to know he won’t forgive me.
We get into Cian’s truck and drive toward the unknown.
A rock song is playing over the radio, but Cian turns it off, much preferring the silence, it seems. He’s nervous.
“I want ya to know that yer my best mate. Thank you for always havin’ my back.” I want him to know I appreciate everything he’s doing for me. Everything he has done.
“Gettin’ soft in yer old age, are ye?” he replies with a smirk, breaking the ice.
“Don’tcha be tellin’ anyone.”
He laughs loudly.