by Virlyce
“What’s wrong with you two,” Alice asked and furrowed her brow. “I could’ve walked in without either of you noticing. And what’s with the noise? And why are you drinking on duty?”
“We’re celebrating Resurrector’s Day,” the guard said with a nod.
“A what day?” Alice asked as Tafel made a strange expression.
“Resurrector’s Day,” the guard said again. “Henry made an announcement. It’s an official holiday in Anfang now."
Alice blinked twice. “Henry? The receptionist? Who gave him the authority to do things like announce an official holiday? What happened to the mayor?”
“The mayor died during the earthquake, but he was brought back thanks to the lord and resurrector,” the guard said with a nod and smile. “He’s the one who gave Henry the idea to announce Resurrector’s Day.”
“What the heck?” Alice scowled and stomped past the guards. “I have to see this for myself.”
Tafel pursed her lips and chased after Alice. Resurrector’s Day. Could it be…? No. Right…?
Throngs of people lined the streets. Adventurers competed with each other in arm wrestling, duels, and drinking competitions as dozens of onlookers watched. There were a few pale people lingering about their red-faced counterparts, and their eyes were glazed over, but they still partook in drink and merriment. As Tafel and Alice got closer to the adventurers’ guild, which was in the center of the city, the sounds became even louder and it sounded as if someone was preaching. Dozens of drunken fairies were wobbling about in the air, some resting on people’s heads.
“Tafel,” Alice said and stopped in her tracks. She took her shield into her right hand. “Do you see that?” The miniature shield expanded into a kite shield. “There’s a skeleton.”
Tafel sighed. “So there is,” she said and bit her lower lip. “You’re … not planning on killing it, right?”
“You can’t kill what’s already dead,” Alice said and stomped forward. “I’m just removing an unnatural existence.”
“Hey, it’s the guild master!” someone in the crowd shouted. “She looks mighty pissed too! Someone get Henry.”
Before Alice could arrive in front of the skeleton she had set her sights on, the pale receptionist was whisked in front of her by a group of adventurers. He cleared his throat. “Guild master. I, I can explain,” he said. “Put away your shield, please.”
“You better talk fast,” Alice said, her eyes narrowing. She adjusted her glasses and crossed her arms over her chest, shield included.
“The undead aren’t brainless—well, the skeletons are brainless, but that’s beside the point. The undead aren’t bloodthirsty and cruel like the holy dragons would have us believe,” Henry said. “The undead were actually the first to respond when the earthquake hit. Hundreds of more lives would’ve been lost if they hadn’t helped. We might have even suffered major losses if they took advantage of the chaos to attack us. But basically, everyone who’s ever been buried in our cemetery came back to life with their memories intact. And anyone who died during the earthquake also came back to life—the mayor included.” Henry cleared his throat as Alice’s expression darkened. “They’re friendly and harmless. All they asked for was a few mana crystals as recompense, and they even brought out leviathan meat to fuel this banquet.”
“You realize holy dragons hate the undead, right?” Alice asked. “What happened to their church?”
Henry let out an awkward laugh as he scratched his neck. “We, uh, burned it down,” he said. “The skeletons said it was the best kindling to cook the leviathan with!”
“Hey, Henry,” a skeleton said as he arrived by the receptionist’s side. He glanced at Alice, who had just opened her mouth to speak. “Is this the guild master who you claimed was old-fashioned and lived with a stick stuck up her a—”
Henry slapped the skeleton’s jaw. He coughed and avoided Alice’s glare. “This is Noteleks. He’s—”
“Tafel!” the skeleton said as its gaze landed on the demon. “Is that you?”
Tafel sighed and closed her eyes while hanging her head. She spoke towards the ground, “Hello, Mr. Skelly.”
“What brings you here?” Mr. Skelly asked, ignoring Alice’s baffled expression. “I thought you went to Fuselage with Vur. Does that mean he’s here as well?” His head swiveled and completed one whole rotation around his neck. “I don’t see him.”
Tafel sighed again and raised her head. “Going to Fuselage was the plan,” she said. “But plans never go as you expect them to, and now I’m here. Vur’s here too, but I’m not sure where. I think he’s on the continent, but it’s possible he’s somewhere else.”
“You two know each other?” Alice asked, her gaze switching from Tafel to Mr. Skelly.
“Yes,” Tafel said and scratched her head. “We’re acquaintances.”
“What?” Mr. Skelly asked, gasping and bringing his bony hand to his mouth. “We’re not best friends? My nonexistent heart is crying right now.” He lowered his head to the side and clutched his ribcage.
Tafel rolled her eyes. “What are you doing here?”
Mr. Skelly raised his head and blinked. “We’re hosting a party. Isn’t that obvious?”
Tafel snorted and smacked his skull. “Why are you here?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips. “Shouldn’t you be doing skeleton stuff back at home?”
Mr. Skelly nodded. “I am. For home is where the mistress lives,” he said with a wink.
“Auntie is here too?” Tafel asked, raising an eyebrow. “Then who’s watching over our kingdoms?”
“Ah.” Mr. Skelly exhaled. “A calamity has befallen the three kingdoms. A new power swept through the continent and united it into a single empire while you were gone. We were forced to leave along with the fairies, braving the ocean and new lands. The mistress had been kidnapped earlier by Grimmoldesser, and no one was capable of defending the lands.”
“Did you just say Grimmoldesser?” Alice asked.
Mr. Skelly ignored her and continued speaking, “As such, we took it upon ourselves to depart on a journey to find our mistress. We found her, but Grimmoldesser refuses to let us see her until we accomplish his task.”
Tafel pursed her lips. “A calamity befell the kingdoms? Is everyone okay? What about Sera and the other dragons? Surely they could do something about it.”
“Oh, the calamity is Pyrrhicandra,” Mr. Skelly said and waved his hand in front of his face like he was shooing a fly. “Everyone’s fine, but they had to give up their dignity—something that we find unacceptable. She declared Fridays as mandatory pink robe day.”
“…So you came here because you didn’t want to wear pink,” Tafel said and bit her lower lip. “You’d rather face off against a few holy dragons instead of….” She sighed and shook her head. “I’m starting to wonder if Vur’s taking after you, or if you’re the ones taking after him.”
“Vur’s already surpassed us in strategy and warfare,” Mr. Skelly said. “Of course, we’re the ones taking after him. Also, holy dragons aren’t an issue. If they’re anything like Leiandra, then I bet they’ll be willing to talk before obliterating us. And once we start talking, I’ll win the fight with my smooth, nonexistent tongue.”
“What was that bit about Grimmoldesser!?” Alice grabbed Mr. Skelly’s forearm, causing his bones to creak. “Don’t ignore me!”
Mr. Skelly frowned at Alice before turning his head towards Henry. “You’re right. She does have a stick stuck up—”
“Please don’t agitate her further,” Henry said, cutting off Mr. Skelly. “Guild master, you’re causing a commotion.” He glanced at the surrounding people. They were pointing at the group while whispering to each other.
“I’m causing a commotion? You’re the ones throwing a party to celebrate a necromancer!” Alice shouted and pulled her hand back. Mr. Skelly’s arm snapped off with a loud crack. “What are you going to do if the holy dragons find out? Everyone here will be declared traitors to the throne! W
hat good is your head for if you can’t even use it to think!?”
Henry bit his lower lip. “What other option did I have? You ran away to play adventurer, and the mayor passed away due to the earthquake. The only ones offering to help were the skeletons. Was I just supposed to let everyone die because of the holy dragons’ words? How could I when they’re already proven false?”
Alice gritted her teeth and flinched when someone tugged on her sleeve.
“Calm down,” Tafel said and retrieved Mr. Skelly’s arm. She passed it back to the skeleton. “Despite their deviant behavior, the skeletons aren’t bad people. They don’t kill or do anything to harm anyone. In fact, they improve the qualities of people’s lives everywhere they go.”
“It doesn’t matter how they act,” Alice said. “Their existence is a mockery of life. All undead should be purged with holy fire.”
“That’s some serious propaganda the holy dragons have been spreading,” Mr. Skelly said and scratched his head. “How am I a mockery of life? I feel very much alive if I may say so myself. I remember everything from when I was alive, and quite frankly, I’m glad I was brought back by the resurrector.”
Alice made a face. “How many undead are there?” she asked Henry, causing the man to flinch.
“A-about a thousand,” Henry said.
“Oh, that’s not a lot,” Tafel said and looked at Mr. Skelly. “Can you accomplish Grimmy’s mission with so few numbers?”
“Oh, it should be fine,” Mr. Skelly said. “Overwhelming numbers is only one tactic in our repertoire; there’s a lot more we can do.”
“A thousand undead isn’t a lot?” Alice asked, her expression darkening. She ground her teeth together and jabbed Tafel’s ribs with her finger. “This is your fault.”
Tafel blinked twice and pointed at herself. “My fault? How is this my fault?”
“And fault implies something wrong was done,” Mr. Skelly said, raising one finger into the air. “No one’s at fault because nothing happened for someone to take the blame.”
Alice glanced around at the streets of Anfang. Everyone was still chattering and laughing amongst each other. She bit her lower lip and glared at Henry. “When this celebration is over, we’re having a serious discussion.” Her shield shrank in size as she turned her gaze onto Mr. Skelly. “You as well. When does it end?”
Mr. Skelly cackled. “The party never ends.” He took a jug off a nearby skeleton waiter. “Have a drink?”
Alice stared at the cup in Mr. Skelly’s hand. “A drink? What’s in it?”
“If I had a stomach or a tongue, I could tell you,” Mr. Skelly said, “but as it stands, I can’t. Ask Henry; he’s the newest bishop of our church.”
“Bishop?” Alice asked as she accepted the cup. She stared at Henry, who cleared his throat and looked away. “I didn’t know you were religious. You never worshipped the holy dragons. That’s why I thought you were one of the best workers. What made you change your mind?” She sniffed the cup before taking a sip.
“Ah. Well, you see,” Henry said and scratched his head. “It’s not a bishop for the church of the holy dragons. The, uh, church of the damned is being founded on this continent, starting with Anfang. I actually get a lot of benefits as a founding member, such as free mana crystals for up to 50 years’ worth of life after I die. I also—”
“Hold up,” Alice said, spitting out her drink. “Church of the damned? What the heck? Don’t you, what even, you…. You’re an idiot.” She sighed. “There’s really a church of the damned?” She glared at Mr. Skelly.
“Of course,” Mr. Skelly said with a nod. “How else are we supposed to gain supporters? Religion is the best method to garner support and sympathy. Besides, we’re a lot better than the church of the holy dragons—won’t you consider joining us? We promise life after death, food in exchange for mana, living quarters in exchange for mana, and reunions between your deceased loved ones and yourself. What do the holy dragons offer?” He cupped his skeletal hand beside his head where his ear would’ve been if he had one. “That’s right. They offer nothing except for some measly healing. Anyone can be healed if you throw a potion at them—what makes the holy dragons’ priestesses special?”
Alice made a face. “You know, that sounds really tempting, but I’d rather not sell my soul to a necromancer,” she said. “And from what I’m gathering, you seem to have plans to stay for the long term? I know you’re from the same continent as Tafel since you know each other, so why don’t you just complete your mission and go home? Why establish a religion?”
“The religion is part of our mission,” Mr. Skelly said. “Without it, we can’t accomplish what we have to do—which is a secret only divulged to followers of Damnedism by the way. Join now and I’ll throw in a free ten years of life after your death.”
“Henry gets offered 50, but I only get 10? What the heck is this? He’s not worth five times as much as I am,” Alice said, furrowing her brow. “Wait a minute. I don’t even want to join.” She held her hand out in front of her face. “I think I’ve heard enough of your case. And I’ve decided to nip a problem in the bud”—her shield expanded—“meaning you should kindly return to the grave.”
Mr. Skelly’s eye sockets widened as the shield descended. Before he could react to the strike, Tafel appeared in front of him and blocked the attack with her sword. She pursed her lips as her arms creaked under the pressure.
Alice frowned as she retracted her arm. “You’re going to defend him?” she asked. “It’s unnatural for something to live beyond death. Destroying him will bring about relief instead; I hope you know that.”
“How would you know?” Tafel asked as she lowered her sword. “You haven’t died and came back to life. Mr. Skelly lives in a fulfilling and satisfactory manner. Who are you to deem what’s unnatural or natural? No one wants to die; isn’t it natural to seek an alternative to death?”
“Everything from your continent is unnatural!” Alice said, practically shouting. “The amount of mana you have is beyond normal limits. Undead retain their memories and are actually sovereign citizens. And don’t even get me started on Vur!”
“Yeah, so we’re a bunch of freaks; what about it?” Tafel asked with a snort.
Alice bit her lower lip. “I didn’t mean it that way,” she said. “It’s just that your culture is way too different from mine. I’m having trouble adapting—like the skeleton said, I’m a bit old-fashioned.”
“So your first response is to try to kill my friend?” Tafel asked, glancing at Mr. Skelly.
Alice raised an eyebrow. “I thought he was just an acquaintance.”
“Same difference,” Tafel said. “You don’t see me coming here cutting people down because they’re different from what I’m used to.”
“You killed a gryphon,” Alice said.
Tafel coughed and turned her head away. “That was Vur.”
“And by extension, you. You’re responsible for Vur’s actions as his wife,” Alice said, crossing her arms over her chest. “How about this? I’ll go against my better judgment and allow the skeletons to stay and accomplish their mission, but anything that happens is your responsibility. If the holy dragons retaliate, it’s completely on you to do something about the situation.”
“That’s….” Tafel furrowed her brow and glanced at Mr. Skelly, who grinned at her. “I’m going to regret this, but alright. It’s a deal.”
“You’re the best demon lord the world could ever ask for,” Mr. Skelly said and made a move to hug Tafel. She grimaced and smacked him away.
“I’m not doing this for you,” she said. “I owe Auntie quite a bit. Don’t do anything that’ll land me in serious trouble, alright?”
“Of course,” Mr. Skelly said. “We wouldn’t betray your trust in us like that. Nothing serious will happen at all. In fact, I’ll clean up all the messes that occur myself. You won’t have to worry about a thing.”
Alice sighed. “Maybe it’s my mindset that’s been holding me back this
whole time. I believe in common sense—things can or can’t be done—while you don’t. You’re a lot more open-minded than I am.”
Tafel scratched her head. “It feels weird to be praised like that,” she said. “I don’t think I’m open-minded though. You just learn to not sweat the small stuff when your mother-in-law is a dragon.”
Alice snorted. “It wasn’t praise.”
“Oh.”
16
“Is this the place?” E squinted and pulled aside the curtain in his car. A beam of sunlight shone on his face, causing him to yelp and shield his eyes. “It’s too bright out. Can’t you dim the sun?”
“I can do no such thing, Your Gloriousness,” Zappy said with a sigh as he hopped off the carriage and opened the door for the dwarf king. “And yes, we’ve arrived at the Gemstone Merchants’ headquarters.”
E grunted as he slid out of his seat and landed on the ground. He frowned at a tile on the pavement that had the words ‘Ten Meters’ engraved on it. “What’s this?” he asked, nudging it with his foot. “We passed by a few of these on the way, haven’t we?”
Weren’t you asleep? Zappy frowned at E. “The earth elementals started a game called … dwarf punting.” He walked over to the marker and smudged out the words with his heel. “The scouts weren’t too happy about reporting that.”
“Dwarf punting, I see,” E said and furrowed his brow. “I wonder how they determine the winner. Is it based on distance alone, or do the expressions of the flying dwarves play a part?”
“You’re wondering about the wrong things, Your Gloriousness.”
“Am I?” E asked. “Who’s the king here? You or me?”
“You can’t just use the fact that you’re king to win every argument against me, Your Gloriousness,” Zappy said and sighed as the duo approached the base of the mountain. “Yes, you’re the king, but that doesn’t mean you can never be wrong. If you were always right, you wouldn’t need advisors.”
“The only reason I have advisors is to delegate the work to them instead,” E said with a snort. “Otherwise, I’d make a perfect king.”