by Virlyce
“Aren’t you a king?” Stella asked, tilting her head. “Why is your throne messy? People should clean it for you.”
“Well,” E said and cleared his throat. “I use my throne as my bed. And sometimes I don’t leave it for days at a time.”
Stella blinked. “Bathroom?”
“Let’s not talk about that,” E said and cleared his throat again. “I assure you; the throne room is perfectly sanitary.”
Stella pursed her lips and hummed, her eyes filled with suspicion. She shook her head before gathering Vur’s hair to use as a pillow as she lay down. “Pst, pst, Diamant, are you awake?” she whispered into Vur’s head.
“The earth never sleeps,” Diamant’s voice said in return.
E stared at the glowing runes on Vur’s arm. “I didn’t think anyone could contract with a mountain elemental,” he said to Vur while the fairy and the elemental chattered. “Even acclaimed elementalists are contracted to boulder elementals.”
“Really?” Vur asked. “Why?”
“Because mountain elementals are strong, and beings that are strong have lots of pride,” E said. “Imagine being the ruler of a massive territory and some unknown pipsqueak comes in and tells you the land is his now and you’re forced to work under him. No one in their right mind would accept that.”
“I was in perfectly sound mind, thank you very much,” Diamant said. “You say only a crazy person would yield, but what if that pipsqueak was immeasurably stronger than you? Faced with the choice between proud and dead or cowardly yet alive, there’s not many people who’d pick death.”
“I suppose,” E said. “But he’s stronger than you, a mountain elemental? Aren’t mountain elementals the uncrowned kings of all earth elementals?”
“Beyond mountains there are mountains. Beyond people there are people.”
E frowned. “Then what’s beyond him?” he asked, gesturing at Vur.
“…Probably dragons?”
E snorted. “The dwarves have taken down dragons.”
“You’ll understand soon,” Diamant said. The runes on Vur’s arms stopped glowing.
“Hey!” Stella said and knocked on Vur’s head. “I wasn’t done talking to you.”
“Dwarves are stronger than dragons?” Vur asked and raised an eyebrow at E. “It doesn’t seem like it.”
“Individually, dragons may be the strongest beings, but when dwarves work together, we can overcome one,” E said with a nod. “We did it when we first settled on this continent. Our technology has only advanced since then; we can do it again.”
“What if the dragons work together?” Vur asked.
E rolled his eyes. “Dragons don’t work together,” he said. “It’s part of being strong and proud, once again.” He pushed open a pair of double doors. “And we’re here. My throne room.”
Stella sat up and looked around. The room smelled a bit funky, and there was a mess of items scattered about the throne’s surroundings. She glanced at E as Vur approached the chair, readying his flag. “How prideful are you?” she asked. “It’s time to find out.”
“Huh?” E asked as he followed a few steps behind Vur.
“I claim this land for Konigreich the Second,” Vur said as he raised the flag into the air. Then he rammed it into the head of the throne, piercing through the velvety material.
E’s mouth fell open as he stared at Vur, who dusted off his hands and took a few steps back to admire his handiwork from a distance. “M-my throne! My baby!” The dwarf king ran up to the throne and grabbed the flag. He tried to pull it out, but it was firmly stuck inside. He whirled around to face Vur. “What did you do!?”
“Planted a flag,” Vur said with a nod. “I’ve claimed your territory. It’s mine now.”
“But why the throne!? Couldn’t you have rammed it into the ground or the top of the palace?” E asked. “My throne is my bed and, by extension, my life. If you can’t sleep well, then life’s not worth living!”
Vur scratched his head. “I’ll find you a new one then.”
E sighed and fell to his knees. He gingerly brought his hand to his throne and sighed again before shaking his head. “It’s okay, Papa will fix you up in no time,” he whispered while stroking the red material. “Don’t worry.”
“He’s a weirdo,” Stella said from atop Vur’s head. “Maybe I shouldn’t have let him be your friend.”
E pulled his hand away while standing up. “What was that about claiming my territory?” he asked Vur. “I wasn’t really paying attention.”
“What used to be your land is mine now,” Vur said. “Okay?”
“Wait. What do I get out of it?” E asked.
Vur tilted his head up and met Stella’s eyes. Stella shrugged. “Friendship?” she asked. She brought her finger to her lower lip and hummed. After a while, she nodded once. “Or you can just despair.”
“Are you being serious?” E asked, furrowing his brow. “This is a distasteful joke.”
Vur frowned. “Mr. Skelly said planting a flag was a universal symbol of conquering. I knew Tafel’s method was better. It’s a lot easier too.”
“Gathering a crowd of dwarves will be hard though,” Stella said. “They’re everywhere.”
“Right?” Vur asked in return. “Why is this so difficult?” He glared at E, his eyes glowing golden. “I declare myself king of the dwarves. End of story.”
“King of the dwarves? But that’s me,” E said and furrowed his brow. “Besides, you’re not even a dwarf. What are you hoping to gain by doing this?”
“It’s just something I want to do,” Vur said with a nod. He held out his hand. “Crown, please.”
E frowned at Vur. He rubbed the stubble on his chin before asking, “What do you plan on doing as king? If you’re going to bring about peace and prosperity, I’ll happily hand it over. Oh, you also need to promise to take good care of me and protect the interests of my people.”
“I’ll be claiming your kingdom as part of mine. Does that make my kingdom an empire?” Vur tilted his head. “Well, I’ll take good care of your people as long as they follow my rules.”
“Hmm, so I’ll basically be your subordinate,” E said. He rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a coin. “Intuition, intuition, help me out, intuition. If I guess incorrectly, I’ll hand over all my land and power. If I guess correctly, I’ll fight you.” He flipped the coin into the air before calling out his pick, “Heads.”
The coin clattered to the ground and bounced around a few times before landing on its edge. Vur, E, and Stella stared at it, waiting for something to happen, but the coin didn’t fall. E scratched his head. “Well—”
Stella flew down to the coin and tipped it over. “Tails!” she said and flew back onto Vur. “All your lands belong to us.”
E dusted off his hands. “I guess that’s that then,” he said with a nod. He went behind his throne, dug out a dusty crown, and blew on it before handing it over to Vur. “Here you go; take good care of my kingdom.”
Stella tilted her head as the crown was lowered around her in Vur’s hair. “You’re giving it up just like that?” she asked. “Why?”
“I followed my intuition,” E said with a shrug. “Besides, I never really liked being king. If someone’s here that can do a better job at it than I can, then why shouldn’t I hand him all the responsibility? Do you know how annoying it is to have to make decisions affecting a whole race? It’s much easier to lie in bed and do nothing all day. My friend here, Vur”—E nudged Vur’s thigh with his elbow—“promised to take good care of me. I’ll live the life I want, and my race will thrive. I’d be stupid not to take such a wonderful offer.”
Vur knit his brow. “Why do I feel like I lost this encounter?” he asked and chewed on his lower lip. “Well, that’s okay. I’ll make Tafel do all the real work.” He nodded. “A true king knows how to delegate roles to trustworthy people. Too bad Auntie isn’t here.”
***
A loud explosion rumbled through the Gemstone Me
rchants Clan’s headquarters. An elf with light-brown hair stomped through the tunnels, ignoring the frightened rock-people whose stick-thin limbs were trembling like leaves on a plant. The elf sighed as she came to a stop in front of a dead end. “Another one? Seriously?”
Dozens of earth elementals who were following behind the elf dove away as a massive surge of purple mana enveloped the elf’s hand. She raised her arm into the air and punched the glowing rock wall. It shattered in an explosion of dust and powder that rocked the whole mountain. The elf glanced at the ceiling, making sure it wasn’t caving in, before entering the newly created passage.
“Find the source of the earthquake, she says,” the elf said in a nasally voice as she rolled her eyes. “You need to pass our trials for approval, she says.” She ground her teeth together before speaking in a normal voice, “God, dragons make me so angry. Why are they all such unreasonable children dressed in adult lizard skin?”
A nearby boulder let out a whimper as the elf kicked it aside. “What are you staring at?” Lindyss asked with a snort. “I’ll rip your eyes out and fashion them into rings if you don’t stop.”
The boulder nodded before scurrying away. Before it could get very far, Lindyss grabbed one of its arms. “Hold on a second,” she said. “There was an earthquake caused by a mountain elemental recently. And after lots of traveling on this miserable continent, I tracked down the quake’s epicenter to here. Take me to the mountain elemental.”
“E-ex-clan master Diamant is away right now,” the boulder said while trembling. Tiny grains of sand fell from the surface of the elemental.
“Where is he?” Lindyss asked, narrowing her eyes. “He’s the only mountain elemental around? Did he contract with someone recently?”
“The ex-clan master made a contract with the new clan master, and both of them went to the dwarven kingdom after the king of dwarves made an appearance here.”
“New clan master,” Lindyss said. “Was it a phoenix?”
“N-no,” the boulder said as cracks appeared on its arm where Lindyss’ grip had tightened. “He’s a human. A young man named Vur.”
Lindyss blinked and released the boulder’s arm. Her mouth parted as a slight furrow appeared on her brow. The boulder swallowed its gravelly saliva as Lindyss loomed over it, unmoving. Lindyss’ gaze snapped onto the boulder. “Say that again. What was his name?”
“The new clan master’s name is Vur,” the boulder said, its voice getting softer with every word. Lindyss’ gaze seemed to be burning a hole through him.
“What did he look like?” Lindyss asked. “Brown hair? Golden eyes? Half or fully naked? Tattoos? Golden dragon aura?”
“Everything but the golden dragon aura,” the boulder said.
“Was anyone with him?”
“Yes,” the boulder said. “A fairy named Stella. She….” The boulder gulped as Lindyss’ eyes narrowed into slits. “She had silver hair, golden horns, and she was about this tall.” The boulder gestured with its arm.
“And where did you say they went? The dwarven kingdom? Specifically where?” Lindyss pursed her lips. The dwarven kingdom was awfully large, at least half the size of the continent. Vur could be anywhere.
“Maybe they went to the Dwarven Dungeons of Doom, Despair, and Decay?” the boulder asked. It elaborated after seeing the blank look on Lindyss’ face. “It’s where the dwarves sentence criminals. The clan master invented a game called … dwarf punting when the dwarven tribute collectors came here to do their jobs. The dwarves were not happy.”
Lindyss sighed. “At least that confirms this is the person I know,” she said before shaking her head. “Alright, the Dwarven Dungeons of Doom, Despair, and Decay it is then. God, why is the name so long?”
***
“What do you mean they’re not here!?” Erin shouted at the trembling bug-eyed dwarf. She shook her fist at him. “Where’d they go? Tell me or I’ll turn you into a turtle with no legs!”
Dupey glanced at his assistant, the elf standing in the corner, but she was looking away. The dwarf gulped. “I, I told you,” he said. “The horned woman and Alice Lowenherz were here two days ago, but they vanished without a trace! I heard they went back to Anfang.”
“You stupid dwarf! Aren’t you supposed to be an expert at coercion and kidnapping? How’d you let them escape?” Erin gritted her teeth while wringing her hands together. She threw her arms up into the air and sighed. “What about the man and the fairy? Where’d they go?”
“They didn’t even attend the tournament,” Dupey said. “They were teleported away by a silver light according to the berserk librarian. It’s most likely the Gemstone Merchants Clan who did that. You know how they are.”
“Those fairy-kidnapping rockheads?” Erin asked with a scowl. “I don’t believe you! Where’d they really go!?”
“M-Mrs. Koller,” Dupey said as he wiped his forehead with a handkerchief. “Why don’t you believe me?”
“I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!” Erin said and pointed at the assistant in the corner. The elf yelped as she shrank in size and turned into a turtle shell. A reptilian head and tail popped out, but no legs appeared. “That’ll be you next if you don’t tell me exactly where they went! I flew nonstop for two and a half weeks from Anfang to your dingy little place. I’m not going to fly back to Anfang just to be told they came back here; do you understand?”
Dupey fell silent. Erin was completely irrational and unwilling to listen to the truth. Maybe she’d believe a lie? But the backlash he’d receive if she found out he lied to her…. Was it better to accept his fate as a legless turtle? Dupey sighed. “Alright, I’ll tell you the truth,” he said. “We imprisoned all four of them in the Dwarven Dungeons of Doom, Despair, and Decay. They were too powerful. People like them shouldn’t be allowed to run around outside of our influence.”
Erin lowered her hand and smiled at him. “See?” she asked. “Was that so hard? You could’ve told me that from the start. For your punishment of wasting my time earlier, I’ll only turn you into a turtle.” She snapped her fingers, and Dupey fell out of his chair while writhing around. His body shrank into a small ellipse.
The turtle that formed in Dupey’s previous position sighed. At least I still have my legs.
Erin nodded at her handiwork before flying outside of the governor’s building. Fairy wings were too small for long-distance flights. She rubbed her chin before nodding. With a snap of her fingers, she grew in size, feathers sprouting from her arms while her legs transformed into talons. If fairies were too small, she’d become a roc. A screech escaped from her beak before she pumped her wings, soaring beyond the clouds.
***
“Hey. Skeleton,” Alice said as she marched up to Mr. Skelly from behind. The armored skeleton turned his head around to face her without moving his torso. Alice took a step back and wrinkled her nose. “Don’t do that. Anyways, what the heck are those!?” She pointed beyond the town walls at the two massive piles of bones towering over the highest buildings in Anfang.
“Those are dead leviathans,” Mr. Skelly said with a nod as the rest of his body turned around as well. “One of them’s a bit wonky since some of its bones had been removed, but the other one is in perfect condition.”
“That answered my question, but why are they here!?” Alice shouted, smacking Mr. Skelly’s head. This time, his skull didn’t fall off as it was supported by a neck brace made of mithril.
“They’re our fancy forms of transport,” Mr. Skelly said. “Look, you can see our flag on them.”
Alice’s eye twitched. She hadn’t been able to remove the skeleton’s flags from all the buildings they had planted them on. “And where are you going? Modes of transportation imply transportation.”
Mr. Skelly reached into his armor and pulled out a map. It was marked with clear red lines and arrows along with numbers. “Here’s the plan Henry wrote up for us,” he said. “We’re heading south to the territory of the elves to bring them to our side first while some of us
head east to the dwarves.”
Alice snatched the map out of Mr. Skelly’s bony hands. “No plans to go north?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “So you’re not declaring war on the holy dragons. That’s—”
“Yet.”
“…I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Alice said. “But, wait, why did Henry even make this map for you?” She folded it and tore it to bits.
Mr. Skelly tilted his head. “Henry’s our bishop,” he said. “Obviously he’d work in our best interest. But why did you rip the map apart?”
“I’m not going to allow you to keep a map that’s titled world domination!” Alice threw the ripped pieces into Mr. Skelly’s face.
“Well, that’s okay,” Mr. Skelly said as he plucked bits of paper out of his eye sockets. “We have plenty of spares, more than our flags actually.” He placed his hands on Alice’s shoulders. “Why don’t you”—he flinched as his arms were shattered into pieces but continued speaking without pause—“join us for a bit? You’ll see we aren’t bad people at all. Who knows? You might even join our cause.”
“I highly doubt that,” Alice said with a snort.
“Give it a try? You won’t know if you’ll like it until you try it,” Mr. Skelly said as he squatted beside his shattered bones. They flew into the air and reconnected to his arms with the help of purple strands of mana. “Tafel said she’s coming.”
“Really?” Alice asked, raising an eyebrow. “…I might consider it then.”
A few moments after finishing his conversation with Alice, Mr. Skelly went to a small café in Anfang where he found Tafel sipping on tea while reading a book about cursed swords. “Hey, Tafel,” Mr. Skelly said, taking a seat across from her.
Tafel placed the book down and raised her head. “Mr. Skelly,” she said. “What’s up? You normally pop out of the ground.”
Mr. Skelly nodded. “Can’t do that. I’m unfamiliar with the lands here,” he said. “Anyways, want to join us on a crusade to the south?”
“Not really,” Tafel said. “Apparently I can make this sword evolve”—she patted the sword by her side which was staring at Mr. Skelly—“I want to do that first.”