by Virlyce
“Dragon!” the matriarch shouted. “I surrender; please stop!”
The spinning blue ball stopped rotating, revealing Vur’s upside down figure. His head twisted around, followed by the rest of his body. “Huh?” Vur asked, his head lolling to the side. His face was flushed, causing the scales around his cheek to take on a purple hue. “Surrender? You’re going to let me eat you without a struggle?”
The matriarch shuddered. “You want to eat me?” she asked. “I, I thought you were just passing through.”
“If you knew I was”—Vur’s brow furrowed before he shook his head and grunted—“was passing through, then….”
The matriarch waited while holding her breath. Vur’s eyes had a faraway look in them, and there was a faint smile on his face. Only the sounds of the crackling flames in the sky could be heard. The matriarch tilted her head to the side. “Then?” she asked in a soft voice.
“Then? Then what?” Vur asked, raising his head to glare at the matriarch. “What are you looking at? Do you want to fight? Is that it? I’ll give you a fight!” He charged at her while snarling, no longer snaking through the air like a fish through water. His movements were more akin to a hippopotamus charging through a shallow river.
The phoenix’s eyes bulged as she flapped her wings and soared into the air, narrowly avoiding Vur’s jaws. “Stop!” she said as an ocean-blue tail smacked into her, dispersing her into a puff of flames. Her body reformed a second later with a crying expression on her face. “Let’s talk things through!”
“The time to talk,” Vur said as he whirled around to face the matriarch, “is in the future. But we’re in the present right now, so we fight!”
The matriarch let out a strange whimpering sound as she dove towards Lulu. “You’re a holy dragon,” she said. “You should know how to calm him down, right? I just want to talk!”
“What does being a holy dragon have to do with knowing how to calm a drunk dragon?” Lulu asked and tilted her head to the side. She sighed when the matriarch made a pained expression. “Fine, fine. You promise you won’t attack us and will do your best to negotiate as the losing party, right?”
“Right,” the matriarch said as she dodged a random claw from Vur. “But there’s a few terms I won’t agree to. I want to guarantee the safety of my eggs. And I don’t want to be eaten.”
Lulu scratched her head. “I think that’ll be fine,” she said with a nod.
“Great!” the matriarch said as she landed by Lulu’s side. “Now stop him, please.”
“Uh, yeah,” Lulu said while wrapping her paw around the matriarch, “about that…. Go fight with him for another ten minutes.”
The matriarch’s eyes widened as she was flung towards Vur. She glanced at Lulu, but the silver dragon was whistling to herself while scribbling on her stone tablet. Ten minutes later, the flames in the sky had died down, barely blazing above the tree tops. The matriarch sighed as Vur disengaged from battle to fly towards Lulu. “Potion!”
Lulu nodded and made a heaving motion. A blob of clear liquid flew into the air instead of a green one. Vur swallowed it and flew back towards the matriarch before halting in place. He blinked before turning his head towards Lulu. “Potion?”
“Mm, yeah. Potion,” Lulu said with a nod. “Did it not work? Want another?”
Another glob of clear liquid appeared in front of Vur’s face. He licked it before drinking it down. “This tastes like water,” he said. “You didn’t cheat me, right?”
“Nope,” Lulu said. “That was a potion. Dragons don’t lie, right?” She let out a hollow laugh and scratched her head. A second later, Vur shrank as he ran out of mana, turning back into a human. Lulu gave the phoenix matriarch a thumbs up. “I stopped him.”
“Won’t he be mad at you for tricking him?” the matriarch asked, alighting by Lulu’s side.
“Look at how drunk he is,” Lulu said and nudged Vur’s limp body with her claw. He didn’t react. “He definitely blacked out. There’s no way he’ll remember anything in the morning.”
“But I will!” Stella said as she emerged from Vur’s chest. She stuck her chin into the air and crossed her arms. “And I’m going to tattle on you unless you feed phoenix flames to Sheryl.”
A fireball drifted out of Vur’s shoulder and wobbled around a few times as it made its way to Stella. “I feel sick,” Sheryl said and fell over backwards. “The world won’t stop spinning.”
The matriarch looked at Lulu and then at Vur. With how Vur was right now, it’d be easy for her to kill him. The matriarch sighed as she hopped over to Vur’s side and breathed a bit of her flames onto Sheryl. A promise was a promise after all. A phoenix always kept a promise.
Sheryl’s body turned from orange to red. A pair of blue eyes opened within the fireball, and a pair of fiery arms and legs sprouted out as well. She sat up and blinked a few times before looking around. Stella nudged her from the side with a stick. “Wake Vur up, so he can talk to the birdy,” the fairy queen said, throwing away the flaming twig.
“Vur! Wake up,” Sheryl said, hopping up and down on Vur’s chest. She glanced at Stella. “It’s not working.”
“Stupid! Inject mana into him,” Stella said.
“Oh.” Sheryl nodded and disappeared into the runes on Vur’s shoulder. They flashed with a yellow light, causing Vur’s eyelids to stir as he groaned. Moments later, he sat up and blinked a few times before clutching his head.
“Here,” Lulu said, causing a ball of red liquid to float towards Vur. “It’s a hangover cure.”
Vur drank it down without asking any questions. He froze. His eyes widened and rolled towards the top of his head, revealing their whites. With a plopping sound, his torso fell back onto the ground, white froth escaping from the corners of his mouth.
“Hmm.” Lulu scratched her head. “I guess there’s still some flaws.” She scribbled onto her stone tablet before nodding.
27
A day later, Vur was sitting in a hollowed-out tree with the phoenix matriarch perched on a branch above him. Lulu had to remain outside due to her size, but her head poked into the tree, taking up half the space. The dwarves were making themselves at home in the holy land of the elves, but there wasn’t much left of it after the fight between Vur and the phoenix. Some of the only places that remained untouched were the great hollow tree and the matriarch’s well-hidden nest.
“You said you wanted to talk?” Vur asked, tilting his head. Lulu’s hangover cure had knocked him out for a day, but it worked wonders for his headache and aching muscles. “Well, let me ask you a question first. Did you burn any fairies recently?”
The phoenix matriarch blinked. “No? If I did, it wasn’t intentional.”
Vur frowned but didn’t say anything.
“I’m serious,” the matriarch said. “Phoenixes are honorable. We don’t lie.”
Vur’s frown deepened as his eyes narrowed.
The matriarch cleared her throat, bringing one wing in front of her beak. “I don’t kill for no reason. I love all kinds of life. Why would I burn fairies?”
“Fine,” Vur said, leaning back. “I believe you.”
“I still don’t trust her,” Stella said as she emerged from Vur’s tattoo. She wrinkled her nose at the phoenix before sitting on Vur’s head, crossing her arms and legs.
The matriarch looked at Stella then at Vur. “Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?”
“No,” Vur said, shaking his head.
The matriarch nodded. “Then…, do you mind if I ask you a few things?”
Vur waved his hand, indicating for the phoenix to speak.
“You said you were just passing through and I happened to be in the way,” the matriarch said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Why are you kidnapping the elves? Though I only know a few personally, the elves offer me tributes from time to time. You could say they’re under my protection.”
“I’m fighting a war against the humans,” Vur said. “I’m the dwar
f king.”
The matriarch stared at Vur. Her head swiveled, and she stared at Lulu. Lulu shrugged, and the matriarch’s gaze returned onto Vur. “Pardon? Did they redefine the term dwarf while I wasn’t paying attention?” The matriarch raised one wing when Vur opened his mouth to speak. “Wait, don’t answer that. The more pressing question is why did you invade the elves if you’re at war with the humans?”
“I preemptively invaded the elves just in case they chose to attack us at a critical time,” Vur said. “Apparently, everyone hates the dwarves, so I have no allies. Which is why I’ll conquer the whole continent. You won’t need allies if you have no enemies left to fight.”
The matriarch rubbed her head with her wing. “That doesn’t sound right,” she said. “But I’m no good at war stuff, so I can’t criticize you.” She shuddered, ruffling her feathers. “Forget it. I’m curious how you two are related to Kondra. You don’t respect her at all.”
“I don’t know a Kondra,” Vur said, crossing his arms.
“Don’t say that,” Lulu said. “She’s going to be your mother-in-law soon enough.”
Vur’s brow furrowed. “Huh?”
“Yeah,” Lulu said and nodded. “She’s my mom.” She scratched her head when a blank look appeared on Vur’s face. “I decided you’re going to be my mate. Is that a problem?”
“Yes,” Vur said and spread his arms out. “A big problem. I’m already married.”
“That’s okay,” Lulu said. “You haven’t made any eggs yet, right? I’ll just chase her away and claim you as my own. Where is she?”
Vur scratched his head. Could Tafel beat Lulu in a fight? Probably not. He sighed. It seemed like he’d have to have children earlier than expected. “Not telling. And I also don’t know.”
Lulu blinked. “You don’t know where your mate is? Aren’t you afraid of things happening to her? Like her falling in love with another person or, say, a stray meteor falling on her head?”
“I trust her,” Vur said with a snort. “And she’ll be fine if she’s faced with a meteor.”
“Darn.” Lulu scowled. “She’s that strong, huh? Looks like I’ll have to be underhanded instead of upfront.”
The matriarch cleared her throat. “I have another question,” she said. “What are you going to do with me?”
Vur frowned at Lulu before meeting the matriarch’s gaze. “What do you want me to do with you? I was going to kidnap you and force you to imprint my wife.”
“Was?” the matriarch asked. “Meaning you’re no longer going to?”
Vur nodded. “I don’t need to kidnap you anymore,” he said. “But I’m still going to make you imprint my wife. She wants to get stronger to beat someone up, and I want to help her since she won’t let me beat that person directly.”
The phoenix sighed. “But you said you didn’t know where your wife was,” she said. “Does that mean you’ll come back later?”
“Unless you want to come with me?” Vur asked. “I’m sure I’ll find her after I conquer the continent.”
“I have to watch over my eggs,” the matriarch said. She shifted her weight while rustling her feathers. “I promise I’ll stay here until you return with your wife. Though I don’t like the idea of imprinting someone just because they want strength. If she’s not someone worthy of an imprint, I refuse to do it.”
“She’s worthy, don’t worry,” Vur said. “I also want you to stay out of the war between the dwarves and the humans—that includes not helping the elves resist us. And I also want some more fire for Sheryl.” He glanced at his shoulder and poked the runic sun. “Sheryl?”
A fireball crawled out of his shoulder. “I, I’m good for now, Vur,” Sheryl said and hiccoughed. “But do you mind turning off your dragon aura? It’s making my headache worse.”
Vur blinked before nodding. “I’ll ask for more fire the next time we meet,” he said to the matriarch before standing up and dusting off his pants. “Right now, I have a continent to conquer. But I’ll check in with Auntie first to see if she learned anything.”
“Ah, before you go,” the matriarch said. “Do you happen to know the green dragon Nova?”
“Huh? You know my grandpa?” Vur asked, tilting his head.
A strange expression appeared on the matriarch’s face. “Out of curiosity, does your wife happen to have horns?”
“Yes.”
“Purple eyes?”
“Yup.”
“Pale skin?”
“Uh-huh.”
“A talking sword?”
“Swords can talk?”
“Never mind,” the matriarch said. “What’s her name?”
“Tafel.” Vur raised an eyebrow at the matriarch’s crying expression. “What’s wrong?”
The matriarch hung her head, covering her face with her wings. She mumbled, “I lost to my son-in-law.” She sighed and looked up towards the sky, lowering her wings. “Since when has the world become so dark?”
***
“Your Majesty,” a man in a white robe said while lowering his head. He had a silver necklace in the shape of a scale, and there was an extra piece of cloth attached to his robe, trailing behind him like a tail. Ahead of the man, there was a series of steps with a veil at the top, a silhouette of a cross-legged figure sitting behind it. “What is the meaning of this? You’re dissolving the church?”
A voice boomed out from behind the veil, “Who are you to question my actions? Men, throw this man into the dungeons!”
“Yes, Your Majesty!” Out of nowhere, two men dressed in black appeared by the white-robed man’s side and grabbed his arms while kicking his knees from behind, forcing him to the ground.
“Your Majesty!?” the white-robed man shouted. “I’m the pope of the church! You can’t do this to me! Unhand me, you heathens!”
A cracking noise echoed through the throne room, followed by a miserable scream. The pope’s arms dangled from his shoulders while one of the black-garbed men hoisted him up and carried him out of the room. The throne room fell into silence as the massive wooden doors swung shut. Cackling echoed through the royal chamber, sounding like rocks being crushed.
As the two black-garbed men marched through the empty halls of the palace, they looked at each other while ignoring the screaming man. “Is it just me, or has His Majesty become a bit … different?” the one holding the pope asked.
“Don’t say things like that out loud,” the other man said while gesturing towards the pope, “or we’ll end up like him. We swore our lives to the emperor; it is our duty to obey, not question. Even if he orders us to slaughter children and babies, we will carry out his will with the utmost efficiency.”
“No, no,” the pope said through gritted teeth. “Think for yourselves sometimes! Slaughtering innocents because the emperor asked? Don’t you have any morals? Aren’t you afraid of the matriarch’s divine retribution?”
The two black-garbed men looked at each other. One of them grabbed the pope’s knee and squeezed. “You didn’t hear anything,” the man said over the ear-piercing scream that escaped from the pope’s lips. “Understood?”
“I understand!” the pope shouted. “I understand!”
The black-garbed man nodded and released the pope’s leg.
***
“What are you looking so happy about?” Alice asked Mr. Skelly. She frowned at the grinning skeleton who was whistling to himself while tap dancing atop the undead leviathan’s skull.
“Oh, nothing much,” Mr. Skelly said while laughing. “Some of my plans have finally come to fruition. The church of the holy dragons exists no longer.”
Alice stared at the skeleton with her mouth partially open. “Huh?” she asked and picked her ear with her pinky. “Did you just say the church of the holy dragons no longer exists?”
“No,” Mr. Skelly said. Alice blinked. “I said, ‘the church of the holy dragons exists no longer.’ There’s a slight difference in wording. The devil is in the details; you have to pay attention or you�
��ll be cheated.”
“But the meaning’s the same!” Alice said, smacking Mr. Skelly’s skull off. “What the heck are you doing!? What do you mean the church exists no longer? Did your men destroy it? What about the people who rely on it? What happens to them? Have you considered what would happen if you destroyed the church?”
“Oh, you worry too much,” Mr. Skelly said as his skull reappeared above his neck, a trick he had learned after being forced to chase after his skull too many times. “I didn’t destroy the church and its foundation; I merely usurped it. Why would I waste a perfectly good establishment? All the infrastructure is already in place; it’d be a shame if it all disappeared. My church of Damnedism will put everything to good use.”
“Everything’s wrong,” Alice said, holding her forehead up with one palm. “Everything right about the world has become wrong after you came along: There’s a war between the two empires. You’ve provoked the phoenix matriarch by kidnapping literally half the elven population. And now the church, the symbol of hope amongst the people, is being usurped by skeletons!?”
“When you put it that way, my deeds do sound quite bad,” Mr. Skelly said with a nod. “Why don’t you try spinning it in a more positive way?”
“Shut up! There’s no positive way to spin this!” Alice said, punting Mr. Skelly’s skull off again. “And stop regenerating your skull. It makes me angry!”
“Nonsense,” Mr. Skelly said. “Think of all the businesses that are booming now that there’s a war. Blacksmiths and leatherworkers are having the time of their lives. And provoking the phoenix matriarch? Tafel will handle it; she might get an imprint out of it too! As for the holy dragon church? What good do they do? You already told me the holy dragons only visit once every few centuries or so. My church believes in immediate action. Death? Why hope for a dragon to come revive you? Come back to life instantly with no side effects—other than some skin loss.”