“No, but he probably hit it on the side of the hot tub when he fell asleep,” Linzy said.
“Then why was he not submerged in the water?” I asked. “He was sitting up. If your sleeping potion is responsible, then it’s more likely he would have drowned.”
Linzy wiped a rogue tear from her cheek. “I guess that’s true. I didn’t really think of that. I was so sure that it was because of me.” Her eyes sparkled with a new idea. “Is it possible that I gave him too much and that he overdosed? He could have still reached oblivion because of the potion without drowning.”
“An excellent point, Watson,” I said.
Her brow furrowed. “I’m not Linzy Watson. I’m Linzy Tucker.”
“Right.” I drummed my fingers on the edge of the table, debating what to do. I needed a forensics lab like the ones in CSI. Or one of those three-dimensional whiteboards that let me tap images in mid-air. “I’ll tell you what. Let me do a little sleuthing before I accept your confession and arrest you.”
She stopped pacing and looked at me. “You’re going to let me go?”
“I don’t see what option I have,” I said. “Right now, your confession doesn’t line up with the evidence.” I had no idea whether a confession should override the evidence, but I wasn’t about to turn Linzy over to the tribunal without knowing more. Donna’s confession had been different. The wind spirit had confessed only after she knew the jig was up. Linzy was coming right out of the gate declaring her guilt and seemed to be determined to make herself the guilty party. Something about it didn’t sit right with me. It was like the time Lily Kilkearey confessed to having lost her virginity to Doug Kilgrew. There was no way someone like Lily would have chosen to hand her V-card over to a lech like Doug. I recognized the signs of someone trying to fit in. Not that I thought Linzy was trying to fit in by confessing. I was pretty sure she believed that she was responsible, but I wasn’t buying it—just like I didn’t buy Lily’s claim.
“You’re a witch, right?” I asked. I hadn’t guessed she was a witch at the party. I’d made a game out of trying to guess supernatural species and had pegged her as a nymph. The ones that looked the most human were the toughest. Werewolves tended to be easier because many of them chose to retain some of their wolfish characteristics that they’d kept hidden on the mortal plane.
“That’s right,” Linzy said.
“Question for you,” I said. “What do you think of Mitzi’s abilities as a witch?”
Linzy blinked rapidly, clearly taken aback by the question. “Mitzi? The witch who works in True Brew?”
“Are there other witches named Mitzi running around this place?” I found that hard to believe.
“I couldn’t say,” Linzy said. “She doesn’t participate in coven activities. As far as I know, the only magical exposure she gets is working in the shop.”
“Do you know why?” If I had magic, you’d better believe I’d be flaunting it every chance I got. Mitzi acted like she was afraid of her own magical shadow.
“I seem to recall it’s part of the reason she’s here,” Linzy said.
“The Powers-That-Be sent her to supernatural purgatory because she sucks at magic? That seems harsh.”
“I don’t think it was the fact that she’s bad at magic. It was more to do with the consequences of being bad at magic.” Linzy stared into space, thinking. “I don’t really remember much more than that.”
I leaned forward. “What about you? You seem to be pretty decent. Why do you think you’re here?”
Linzy avoided my gaze. “It’s impolite to ask about that. Like asking how much money someone makes or what size they wear. Too personal.”
In my experience, there was no such thing as too personal. My lack of filter didn’t allow for it. “Well, I appreciate you coming to my office to confess. I’ll be in touch.”
Linzy gave a last curious look before vacating the Harry Potter suite. I continued to drum my fingers on the makeshift desk, mentally reviewing everything Linzy had said. According to Brigit, the Celtic goddess of healing, supernatural bodies took about forty-eight hours before they disappeared. That meant that I had a limited amount of time to figure out the cause of death. As much as I preferred to work alone, I knew I was going to need help with this one.
And I knew just the supernatural to ask.
I drove my golf cart to the wharf so that I could take the ferry across The Great Divide to Zone 2. True Brew was located within walking distance from the wharf, so there was no need to take the golf cart all the way around. I tried to limit my time in that hideous contraption. The minute I had spare time, I was going to purchase a can of black paint and cover all evidence of glitter and rainbows. Mischief meowed beside me, as though sensing my thoughts. I decided to bring her along in order to meet Mitzi’s familiar, Daisy. Mischief was kind of a loner like me, so I didn’t have high hopes for the get-together, but I figured it was worth a shot. For some reason, I felt guilty leaving Mischief in the bungalow at 47 Hamilton Street all day, even though I wouldn’t have given it a second thought back in Chipping Cheddar.
The cat waited beside me on the wharf as the ferry came into view. Charon, the ferryman, greeted me as he docked the boat. It was unclear why Divine Place needed such a large ferry when I’d yet to see anyone else on it. Knowing the HOA, it was probably an unnecessary regulation that the ferry be a certain size.
“Good morning, Eloise,” Charon said. His personality was far kinder than his looks. With a crooked nose and a shaggy beard that suggested he was on the verge of a werewolf transformation, he struck me as someone whose dating would have to happen entirely online. He did himself no favors by dressing like a toddler without supervision. “I see you’ve brought a friend today.”
I gathered Mischief in my arms. “This is my cat, Mischief.”
He stroked the Siamese cat’s head and I prayed that she didn’t embarrass me by biting him.
“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” He rubbed his thumb behind her ear and she began to purr. Traitor. “Rumor has it she’s still alive. That’s quite a feat, coming to Divine Place before your time is up.”
“She’s always been impressive. In our old house, she could open a closed door by standing on her hind legs and jiggling the doorknob back and forth.” She also drank from the toilet without falling in, which was gross albeit equally impressive.
“Come aboard. There’s plenty of room.”
“Is there ever not plenty of room?” I asked.
“I get small groups, especially when there’s an event in one of the zones. I brought a small group home from your party last night, in fact. Sounds like everyone had a grand time, except poor Akwan.”
“Yes, that was unfortunate.”
Charon took charge of the ferry and Mischief and I settled on a bench with a clear view of the water. As the ferry glided across the lake, I took the opportunity to admire Zone 1 from a safe distance. It would never cease to remind me of Nana Jo’s Florida retirement village with its bevy of palm trees and pastel-fronted buildings. Although the humidity wasn’t terrible right now, I knew that, by afternoon, my hair would be a frizzy disaster.
We arrived in Zone 2 and Mischief and I disembarked, where we carried on to True Brew on Skeleton Alley. I found it baffling that the streets in Zone 1 seemed to be named after US Founding Fathers, whereas streets in Zone 2 seemed to have been named by a first grader obsessed with Halloween.
I paused outside the front door to address the cat. “Listen up, buttercup. I need you to be on your best behavior in here, otherwise, Mitzi and Daisy might not want to hang out with us again and that would be a huge bummer because I don’t know any of the other witches well enough to get you together with their familiars. Got it?”
Mischief swished her chocolate point tail and I pushed open the door for both of us. I spotted Mitzi behind the counter, ringing up a customer. He seemed as wide as he was tall. Only when he turned to exit the shop did I see that he was a troll.
Mitzi broke int
o a smile when she saw me. To be honest, I hadn’t really intended to befriend her, but now that that ball was rolling, I didn’t have any desire to put on the brakes. She was really nice and eager and I kind of needed that right now.
“Yay! You brought Mischief. Daisy’s in the back. Let me get her.” Without waiting for me to respond, she hurried through a doorway and returned a few seconds later with a black cat bundled in her arms. “Daisy, I’d like you to meet Mischief. She’s new here and could use a friend to show her the ropes. What do you think?”
I was still trying to wrap my head around the whole familiar thing. Apparently Mitzi and Daisy shared a psychic link so that each knew what the other was thinking and feeling. Mischief and I had a bond, but certainly not a psychic link. From the way the Siamese cat looked at me sometimes, I figured that was for the best.
“How’s the Akwan investigation going?” Mitzi asked. “It’s all anyone has talked about today.”
“I’m not surprised,” I said. “It’s not exactly a common occurrence and now you’ve had two cases of oblivion in a short span of time. I’m freaked out and I’m new here.”
Mitzi looked from left to right before turning back to me. “Some villagers seem to think that it isn’t a coincidence,” she said in a low voice.
I copied her hunched posture. “We’re the only ones in here now, Mitzi. You can speak at a normal volume.”
She cleared her throat. “Sorry. I’m only trying to be discreet.”
“I appreciate it. In fact, Hera said something similar to me. I think she believes I’m the common denominator.” Which made no sense considering I had nothing to do with either act of obliteration.
“Don’t worry. I defended you,” Mitzi said. “Even if your presence here is a glitch, that doesn’t make you personally responsible for things that are happening. You can’t control where you end up. If any of us could control that, then none of us would be here.”
“Well said.” I surveyed the shop. “So, Mitzi. I have a serious question for you. How would you like to help me with this case?”
The witch’s eyes widened. “Me? What about Cole? He’s your deputy.”
I didn’t want to discuss Cole. “Yes, but he doesn’t have access to magic. I need someone to help me determine the cause of final death before the body disappears. I thought you might be able to help me set up some sort of forensics lab. There must be potions here that can help us with the evidence.”
Mitzi looked ready to explode with excitement. “Are you serious?”
“One hundred percent. I can’t pay you, but I’ll totally give you credit whenever anyone asks.”
“This is incredible. I’m such a huge Bones fan.”
“Me too, but I only watched it for the romance and the quirky side characters.”
“And I’ve seen every episode of CSI,” she continued.
“Every episode? That must’ve taken a lot of time.”
Mitzi laughed. “This is the afterlife, Eloise. We have nothing but time.”
“I was going to watch some episodes as a primer,” I said. “Maybe we can watch them together.”
Mitzi looked ready to explode with excitement. “I can’t believe this. We’ll need to speak to Brigit about the body right away. Have you made arrangements with her yet?”
“Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first and see whether you were willing.”
Mitzi pumped a fist in the air. “You bet! I never dreamed I’d get the opportunity to have my own lab.”
“Calm down. It’s not a meth lab.” I examined her closely. “How can you be so excited about a crime lab but so fearful of magic?” In my mind, science and magic were pretty closely linked. “You’re just as liable to make mistakes in a lab as you are in a magic nook.” I motioned to the back corner of the shop where the nook was located. Mitzi said it was a place where witches could create custom spells for customers.
Mitzi walked down the middle aisle, eyeing potion bottles. “I guess I never really thought about it that way. I’ve always been more comfortable with science, probably because I was raised without magic. Also, the victim is already dead, so the harm I can do is minimal.” She plucked a yellow bottle from the shelf. “This will be useful.”
“Whatever. I’ll let you take the lead on this, lab geek.”
Mitzi moved with more energy than I’d seen from her. She bounded from shelf to shelf, choosing potions and placing them in a wicker shopping basket.
“I guess we need to take all these to Brigit because I don’t think she’ll want us to move the body,” I said.
Mitzi tapped her cheek thoughtfully. “Good point, but if we’re going to be dealing with this on a regular basis, we should have a dedicated space.”
I waved my hands. “Whoa. Who’s saying this is going to become a regular occurrence? Okay, so there’ve been two obliterations. That doesn’t mean we should expect a steady stream of lifeless bodies.”
Mitzi gave me a long look. “Now that you’re here, I think we need to expect the unexpected.”
I glanced over at the windowsill where Mischief was seated. She kept dipping her tail down to the floor where Daisy waited. Every time Mitzi’s familiar attempted to swat the tail with her front paw, Mischief yanked her tail back up to the windowsill. I couldn’t tell whether they were having fun or whether Mischief had discovered a way to torture another creature outside of Hell.
“You know what?” Mitzi halted in her tracks. “Brigit has a back room at the healer’s office. It used to be occupied by Dil before she ascended. As far as I know, no one took over the room.”
There was that reference to ascension again. “How typical is it for villagers to ascend?” The reason I now lived at 47 Hamilton Street is because its former occupant, Ariadne, ascended and left the bungalow empty. Villagers had no control or advanced warning. That made it unclear what the criteria was for moving up to the next level. “Does anyone ever descend without warning?”
“Neither one happens with any regularity. Plus, we get new villagers, supernaturals who’ve died in the mortal plane or in Otherworld. We don’t really get gods and goddesses anymore because most of them were forgotten long ago.”
I thought about Gia, my cheerful neighbor, and wondered when humanity had stopped worshiping her. “I guess Gia’s been here for a long time.” Why hadn’t she ascended yet? Was her behavior in the past so questionable that she was doomed to remain in Divine Place for eternity?
“Let me grab a backpack and we’ll take these bottles to Zone 1 and set up our crime lab,” Mitzi said.
“You make it sound like we’re creating a lab for the purpose of committing crimes.” I paused. “Not that I’m against that idea. It sounds entertaining.”
“I would think the marshal needs to stay on the right side of the law.”
Fine. Whatever. “What about the shop? Don’t you have to stay here?”
“Only for another twenty minutes until Poppy arrives,” Mitzi said. “She’s on the afternoon shift today. If you want to hang around here and wait…”
My gaze drifted to Mischief. She seemed to be having a good time with Daisy. “I think I’d like to explore a little more of Zone 2. I’ll meet you at the wharf in about half an hour, if you don’t mind bringing Mischief with you.”
“I’m not sure you should be roaming aimlessly around Zone 2.”
“It’s totally fine.” As the lone human, I knew I was meant to be wary of the inhabitants here, especially the vampires and certain demons that preyed upon humans in the mortal world. On the other hand, I felt confident I could take care of myself. I always had before and I didn’t see any reason that should change now.
“Okay,” Mitzi said, relenting. “I’ll bring Mischief. I don’t want to deprive Daisy of her new friend too soon.”
That helped. If I didn’t have to worry about keeping an eye on Mischief, I could focus more on myself, which was the way I liked it.
“Meet you at the wharf in thirty.” As I passed by the windowsill on my
way out, I leaned down and whispered to Mischief. “Mind your manners or there will be no tuna in your future.”
She swished her tail in response. I knew my cat well enough to know that she’d view it as a significant threat. As I was quickly beginning to learn in Divine Place, like a future without tuna, there were plenty of fates worse than death.
Chapter Five
After I left True Brew, I stopped by Bloodlust to see Jules. I needed an expert on blood and the vampire was the perfect candidate. She wasn’t there, so I left a note with one of the bartenders and asked him to give it to her when she showed up for work. I continued along Skeleton Alley, peering into windows and keeping an eye out for anything that might be useful in the investigation. I perked up when I noticed an office supply shop across the street.
“Just what the marshal ordered,” I said. A place called Paper Cuts seemed more appropriate for a lower level afterlife, but what did I know?
I hurried across the road with ease. It wasn’t exactly Frogger when the only obstacles were golf carts that moved at a speed of twenty miles per hour.
An ogre greeted me at the door wearing a red smock. “Welcome to Paper Cuts. Can I interest you in a subscription service for yellow highlighters?”
“No, thanks. I’m on the hunt for an enormous whiteboard. Do you have any of those?”
“Aisle ten, next to the one-use printer cartridges.”
“Awesome.” I trotted to aisle ten, eager to find the right touches for my new office. I needed a whiteboard large enough to fit all my theories and lists of evidence, and maybe a few doodles. I seemed incapable of making notes without drawing stick figures or curse words in bubble letters.
As I debated which whiteboard to purchase, I heard the distinct sound of sniffing behind me. I grabbed a nearby yardstick and whirled around to confront my stalker. With his shaggy hair and scruffy beard, the guy screamed werewolf.
“Why are you sniffing me?” I demanded, holding the yardstick in a threatening manner.
Homicide and Hot Tubs Page 5