Declan frowned, but nodded. “I figured it was worth a shot. This is a great building, and I work right around the corner. It’s hard to find an apartment where it’s only a six-month commitment.”
“My lease is up then, and I haven’t decided if I’m going to extend or not.”
“See? That’s another reason I’d be perfect. I’m only in town for six more months.”
“I’m sorry. This is definitely a case of it’s me and not you.”
He picked up his wine and guzzled it down before standing and extending his hand. “I appreciate you giving me your time. And thanks for the pinot.”
We shook. “It was nice to meet you, Declan.”
After I walked him out, I shut the door and leaned back against it. What a shame; he really seemed like a nice guy and the best candidate I’d met by a mile. I was just about to go wallow in another glass of alcohol when there was a knock at my door. Checking the peephole before opening, I found Declan standing there.
“I forgot something important,” he said.
“Oh? What’s that?”
He took out his wallet and produced a photo of a nun. “This is my sister Catherine, and it’s not a costume from Halloween. She’s a legit nun. How bad can a person be if his sister is a nun?”
I laughed. “Is this the sister who dunked your head in the toilet?”
He grinned. “It is, actually.”
“Well, I’m not sure there’s a direct correlation between your sister deciding to dedicate her life to the church and you being a good person. Though, even if I take your word for it, it still doesn’t change my answer.”
Declan’s shoulders drooped. “Had to try. She tells me her being a nun won’t get me into heaven. Thought maybe it was good for something.”
“Goodbye, Declan.”
“Later, Mollz.”
***
“So…how’s the roommate search going?” Emma poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the small table in our break room.
I sighed. “Why is it so hard to find a normal person these days? I’ve interviewed more than a dozen people, and not one suitable candidate.”
“Did you post an ad on the employee bulletin board, like I suggested?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want another nurse or tech. It makes it weird at work if things don’t work out.”
“Maybe Dr. Dandy will apply.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “I heard he’s sleeping on Dr. Cohen’s couch until he finds a place.”
That information certainly perked me up. “Really? Will and whatshername broke up?”
“Yup. Lisa in X-ray told me Dr. Cohen told her he’s staying with him. Apparently he and the wannabe actress are finito.”
“Wow.”
Emma smiled. “Yup. And fair warning, my friend… I’m allowing a ten-day grace period for him to grieve the end of a year-long relationship. But after that, I’m going to be up your butt making sure you let the man know you’re interested. He’s not going to be on the market for long, and you missed your opportunity last time he was single. You can’t keep pining for the guy.”
Of course she was right. And while I felt elated that Will was back on the market, the thought of coming clean to him about my feelings made me want to throw up. Will Daniels—or as Emma called him, Dr. Dandy, because of his last name and uncanny resemblance to a male model named David Gandy—and I had been good friends for four years now. We’d started on the very same day at the hospital and had gone through orientation together. I’d had a boyfriend back then, and he’d been seeing a girl from med school at the time, so even though I’d always thought he was insanely handsome, things didn’t bloom until two years ago. And most of the time since then, he’d been seeing one woman or another. Emma was right that the man never seemed to stay single for long.
“He’s going to be at happy hour this Friday night,” I said. “A few of the crew from CCU are meeting up over at McBride’s. I’m curious to hear what he says about the breakup.”
“Does he know you’re looking for a roommate?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Well, he needs a place to sleep, and you need a roomie.” Emma shrugged. “Timing is everything. Maybe it’s fate and he’ll move in and take care of two of your needs.”
“I think your imagination might be getting ahead of itself. Why don’t we start by seeing if things are really over with him and whatshername? They’ve split up a few times, but he always winds up going back.”
“Okay. But I have a good feeling about you two.”
“Could you possibly have a good feeling about me finding a roommate instead? I just had to pay for another damn ad.”
Emma shook her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t find one decent candidate.”
Remembering my last interview, I said, “Actually there was one who would’ve been perfect—great credit score, neat, cooks, leaves early in the morning, and works long days.”
“So why didn’t you take her?”
“Because she was a he.”
CHAPTER 2
* * *
Molly
Interview number fifteen took the cake.
The girl was a professional yodeler and announced that she often had to practice for competitions. She wanted to know whether the room was echoey.
Why couldn’t I find anyone quiet? There was no way I wanted to have to listen to that. So as nice as she was, I let her out of the apartment knowing I’d never see her again.
After we said goodbye, I noticed something on the ground outside my door. It was a covered Tupperware container with an envelope taped to the top.
I took it inside and ripped open the envelope.
The note read:
I noticed the room is still listed for rent. Sorry you’re not having better luck. In the meantime, enjoy these cupcakes I made. Maybe they’ll help relieve some of your stress. If there’s anything else I can do—you know, like take the room off your hands—you have my number.
Declan
(Full disclosure, though: I still have a penis.)
Covering my laugh, I opened the green lid to reveal eight large cupcakes with white frosting. A different word was written on each one. I soon figured out they were meant to create a sentence:
Do. It! Eat. One. And. Thank. Me. Later.
Frustrated, I grabbed the “one” cupcake and took a huge bite off the top. I always ate the tops off cupcakes and left the bottoms. Without the frosting, the cake was dead to me.
I had to admit, it was delicious. The frosting was buttery, and not too sweet. It was creamy, not hardened with sugar.
Did this guy really think he could win my heart—or entry into my apartment—with cupcakes, though?
I laughed to myself and grabbed another one, licking the frosting first before devouring the entire top. They were really delicious. I would’ve assumed he’d bought them from a bakery were it not for the Tupperware container, and also the fact that the shapes were somewhat imperfect.
I’d seriously lost my mind if was I considering giving this guy a chance because his cupcakes tasted so damn good.
Within ten minutes, I’d eaten the tops off all of the cupcakes except two.
I looked down at the words on top of the ones that were left.
Do. It!
Do it!
Was it a sign that I should give him a chance?
And was I desperate enough to look for wisdom from baked goods?
The answer was yes. Yes, I was.
I let out a long breath, conceding what I knew in my gut: the search was over. Declan Tate was going to win by default. I needed the money. He was the least crazy person to walk in my door. And the truth was, I had peni-lized him—punished him for having a penis. I’d thought about that a lot over the past couple of days, and oddly, I’d thought about him. His charisma, how he’d made me laugh—there were worse traits in a roommate.
But before I considered this for real, he and I needed to have a discussion, set some ground rules.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number I had for him.
He apparently knew it was me.
“Hey, Mollz! How’s it go—”
“Okay. You can have it,” I blurted.
“Seriously?”
“Those cupcakes were so damn good. You won me over, which was obviously your intent.”
“Cupcakes plural? Did you have more than one?”
“No comment.”
He laughed and spoke to himself, “Take note, Declan. The way to the new roomie’s heart is through her stomach.”
Roomie.
I sighed.
What am I doing?
He must have sensed my frustration. “Don’t be so down about it, Mollz. It’ll be fun, and like I said, you’re barely even gonna have to see me. Our schedules work out perfectly for avoidance.”
“When do you expect to move in?”
“You tell me. I can leave my buddy’s place this afternoon and be there by five. He’s eager to have his privacy back anyway—something about not wanting me in the room when he fucks his girlfriend. Can you believe that?” He laughed. “Anyway, do you have to work tonight?”
Tonight? That seemed so soon, but honestly, I might as well just get it over with.
“Actually, no. Tonight is my night off. I’m not working the next couple of days.”
“Perfect then. I’ll pack up my stuff and come on by.”
I grabbed the “Do” cupcake and took a bite. “Great,” I said with my mouth full.
***
A few hours later, there was a knock at the door.
When I opened, I was greeted by Declan’s blinding set of gleaming teeth.
“Howdy, roomie.”
I moved out of the way, allowing him to enter. “Hey.”
A whiff of his scent floated by me. Amazing. I couldn’t say I minded the idea of my apartment becoming saturated with whatever cologne he wore. The vibe in my place was about to be bombarded with masculine energy.
The bag on his arm dropped to the floor with a thud. He looked around before wheeling his suitcase to a corner of the room. Then he walked back toward me and caught me off guard when he reached for my face.
I flinched as he swiped his finger along the corner of my mouth. It grazed my bottom lip, giving me goose bumps.
“You had some frosting there.”
I touched the same spot. “Oh.”
A few minutes before he arrived, I’d demolished the “It!” cupcake top—the last one. All that was left now were eight stumps of naked cake.
He examined my face. “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I said, feeling flushed.
I wasn’t sure if all the sugar was going to my head or what, but I was more on edge than I thought I’d be.
“Stop freaking out about me being here.” He chuckled. “I take it you’ve never lived with a guy before?”
“You’d be correct. My parents divorced when I was sixteen. So, after my father left, it was just my mother, me, and my sister, Lauren.”
“Well, I promise, I don’t bite.”
I swallowed, unnerved by the fact that he was so attractive. Almost too attractive. I would never want to be with a guy like that. Deep down, he was probably full of himself, even if he didn’t show it. There was no way he didn’t know he was good-looking.
“We have to set some ground rules, okay?”
He straightened his posture and nodded once in an exaggerated manner. “Shoot.”
“This should go without saying, but what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours. I don’t share my personal items, like toiletries or food.”
“Got it. But it should work both ways. Like…if I happen to cook up something delicious and you partake, you’ll let me have something in return.”
My brows furrowed. “In return? What exactly are you insinuating?”
His eyes widened. “Not what your dirty little mind is venturing to right now. We already established that I’m into someone else, remember? I just meant, you know, like, if you eat my food, you owe me something of equivalent value. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it kind of thing.”
I squinted. “What makes you think I’m going to eat your food?”
“You might not. But you seemed to like the cupcakes, so…”
He had a point. But the cupcakes were a gift. I supposed I could agree to his stipulation and just vow that I wouldn’t ever touch his food. Pfft! I didn’t need his food.
“Okay.” I shrugged. “Fine. It works both ways.”
He leaned against the small island in the center of my kitchen. “What other rules you got for me?”
“You can do whatever you want when I’m not here, but no bringing people into the apartment when I’m sleeping. Our schedules should make that pretty easy since you have three nights a week when I won’t be here.”
“Fine. Done. Hit me with the rest.”
“I like everything nice and organized. So, if you see something arranged a certain way, don’t change it.”
“You mean like the pastel M&Ms you have in those jars on the counter? Don’t mix the pink with the mint-colored ones, that kind of shit?”
“I only like certain-colored M&Ms, so I order them online. But yes…don’t mess with anything I might have arranged a certain way.”
“Okay.” He chuckled. “You’re a trip, you know that?”
“Everyone has their quirks. Mine include liking color-coordinated candy and a neat and organized apartment. So sue me. I like what I like.”
“What kind of a man does a woman who likes all pink M&Ms in one jar go for? A dude who wears pink Lacoste shirts and loafers?”
“No. I like a man who’s got a good head on his shoulders and who’s—”
“Dull and pretentious as fuck?”
“No,” I answered defensively.
“I’m kidding, Molly. Just messing with you.”
Letting out a long breath, I said, “I know.”
“You’re single?” he asked.
“Yes. But…hopefully not for long.”
“Oh yeah? What’s going on there? Who’s the lucky guy?”
Ugh. Why did I even say that? Now I have to explain it.
Might as well admit to my crush on Dr. Daniels. That way Declan would know I was completely unaffected by his charms.
“There’s this doctor I work with. I’ve had a crush on him for some time, and he just became single. I’m actually meeting him and a bunch of other people for happy hour tomorrow night. So, I’m hopeful something will develop there.”
He smiled. “Good for you. Going for it.”
Feeling embarrassed, I cleared my throat. “What about you? What’s the deal with this girl you said you’re into?”
“Well, she’s a co-worker, too, actually. We work for the same advertising firm. We’re both from California, where the company is based, but we came to Chicago to work on a campaign for a major client out here. That’s why I’m only in town for six months. She and I work on the account together.”
“Does she know you like her?”
“That’s the thing. She’s sort of dating this douchebag back home. He did not want her to come to Chicago. Things are always up and down with them. So, I’m hoping one of these days they go all the way down, and I can move in for the kill. I wouldn’t be a dick and try to make a move when she technically has a boyfriend. So, at the moment, I’m just waiting in the wings.”
“Okay, but does she know you like her?”
“I don’t know. I bet she suspects, though. We’re friends…for now. But I want more. Not only because she’s gorgeous, but she’s intelligent and sweet, too. The whole package. And I do think we’re compatible.”
The hint of jealousy I felt was unnerving. I think it was more just wishing someone felt that way about me. It certainly wasn’t because of an attraction to Declan. He was good-looking and all, but not my type.
“What’s her name?”
“Julia.”
“Pret
ty name.”
“What about Hot Doctor?”
Smiling shyly, I answered, “Will.”
“What kind of doctor?”
“He’s an OB-GYN.”
“Oh, that’s right. You said you work in a maternity ward. Makes sense. At least the whiny babies you deal with are cute—unlike my clients.” He pretended to reach for my M&M jar, then backed his hand away with an impish smile. “Any other rules, Molly?”
“Well, obvious stuff, like no walking around naked.”
He wriggled his brows. “Worried you might get turned on?”
“No.” I looked down at my feet. “It’s just not appropriate.”
“Same goes for you, then. But that’s just to be fair.” He lowered his voice. “Between you and me, I’m not gonna complain if you do.”
I rolled my eyes. “I thought you only had eyes for one woman?”
“I’m smitten, not dead, Mollz.” He grinned. “If it happens, I’m probably gonna sneak a look. But I won’t say anything or be creepy.”
My cheeks felt hot as I changed the subject. “Is your sister really a nun?”
He chuckled. “Yes.”
“That’s so…unique.”
“Why? Because her brother is the devilish antithesis of holy?” He flashed a mischievous grin.
“Well, that, plus you don’t hear about too many people becoming nuns nowadays.”
“Catherine was always different from the rest of my sisters, always looking for a greater purpose. But it was pretty shocking when she told us.”
“Are your parents religious?”
“They’re Catholic and go to church every Sunday, but they’re not obsessed with religion or anything. My mother cried when Catherine told her she was joining the convent. She’d always envisioned a different future for her. But you know, in the end, people are gonna do what they want. And she’s happy.”
“Good for her.”
“Funny how kids can grow up together and all be so different. Catherine’s living in a convent, praying, doing good deeds, and most nights I’m fucking around on the Internet or watching Hulu. Same parents. What happened?”
Not Pretending Anymore Page 2