Charlotte took Elizabeth’s arm, and the two of them walked upstairs to Julia’s room. “Will she not be resting?” Elizabeth asked.
“Would you not wish for extra company when you must so very often excuse yourself from mealtimes and gatherings?”
“Ah, yes. You are correct.” They arrived in front of Julia’s room, and Charlotte knocked on the door before entering quietly. Julia was sitting up in bed, a bowl of soup before her.
She looked pale at first, her dark hair throwing her skin into sharp contrast, but her face brightened instantly as the women entered. “Charlotte! Elizabeth! You have come to save me from the very bowels of boredom. I am so glad you are here!”
Charlotte flopped familiarly on the bed next to her cousin. “Dear Julia, we have the most interesting news to share with you and thought that a full conference of women would be most acceptable in this matter. Have you any wine?” Without being responded, she found the wine on a nearby table and poured a cup for each of them.
Julia looked intrigued, and she pushed her soup tray aside. “Ah…and to what does this news pertain?” She glanced at Elizabeth with a smirk. “I have a feeling that is something to do with men. They plague us so, do they not?” Elizabeth blushed a little, but Charlotte encouraged her.
“Go on, Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth looked at the two women, and her heart felt light. No woman she had met with before had treated her with such kindness and openness. She could feel the love in the room, and it made her heart clench with the need for it. Even though she was embarrassed by the day’s events, she still ached for this intimate moment between friends.
She explained to Julia about how Liam had kissed her, how she had slapped him, and how John had asked her to walk that afternoon.
Charlotte’s eyes were bright as she asked, “And how was the walk? Julia, I should tell you, Liam was most uncomfortable with John asking dear Elizabeth for a walk. He attempted to fight him on it.”
“Is that so? My, my, Elizabeth. You certainly are causing a stir here on Mull.” The two women giggled, and Elizabeth blushed once more. Was there no end to her timidity?
“Well, it was a pleasant time.s He asked if I would allow him to come and visit me.”
Julia asked, “And what did you say?”
“I told him that would be acceptable.” Charlotte and Julia clasped hands, their faces beaming.
Julia said, “John is a very good man. I confess there were problems in the beginning, especially with the tension between clans, but now, Angus and Calum treat him as a fellow MacLean.”
“There is more to the story, though,” Elizabeth confessed, wincing a little at the two women’s excitement.
“Oh, do tell us!” Charlotte exclaimed. Elizabeth stared at them both. This might be the last time she could ever share such things with other women, once she was back in London, married off to someone she still had not met. It would be humiliating, but what did she have to lose?
Chapter Ten
“Well, John touched a lock of my hair and spoke of his attraction.” She paused, wondering whether or not to tell them about the prostitutes. After a moment, she realized that it was not her secret to tell, and so she moved on. “Then, I retired to the library for a moment alone, but Liam came to find me.”
Charlotte grinned. “Did he now? And what did he say? My goodness, you have had the most thrilling day!”
Elizabeth did not like the satisfied expression on Charlotte’s face. It was as if she knew something that Elizabeth did not. “He asked if I would like to take a walk with him on another occasion. I asked if he meant a walk like the way that John had invited me to walk, and he said yes. But he wasn’t kind. In fact, he was rather sharp and rude. Therefore, I refused him.”
Charlotte’s eyes opened wide, and she burst into laughter. “So, you did! Elizabeth, you entertain me endlessly. I told Liam he was too afraid to ask you, but he insisted.”
Elizabeth wondered what that meant. Did Liam not really want to walk with her? Well, he had appeared quite sullen when he’d asked her. Yet the way he had kissed her back told that there was something in it. Maybe. Perhaps.
“I see. Well, there is still more to the story, I am afraid.”
“Go on,” Julia said, her eyes interested.
“I went to ride, as I told you, Charlotte, for a bit of time away and to see the beauty of the Isle on my own. I apparently rode to the very hill upon which Liam’s house stands.”
Charlotte placed a hand on her chest and shook her head in incredulity. Elizabeth went on. “I only realized when he’d approached me. When I saw him, I was at first so struck by the beauty of the view below me that I forgot all about our argument in the library and any discomfort between us. And then, I could not believe it. He apologized.”
“He did? Liam, I am very much impressed. I told you he has his moments of kindness and sense.”
“Yes. He did. And what an apology it was! I was dumbstruck by that as well, and I did something.” She swallowed, nervous to tell the rest of her tale. Her whole body tingled anew at the thought of it. “Something came over me. I do not think that I can describe it very well. It was like something took control of my impulses, and I,” she paused once more. “I kissed him.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes as she said the words. Putting description to them made them real, and she still couldn’t believe her own strange and still unfamiliar boldness. To kiss a man without being asked? To show her desire for him so openly and obviously? It was shameful.
Julia and Charlotte were silent for a minute, but then Charlotte said, “Elizabeth Darling, I am happy to say I am very proud of you. I feel that I have nothing left to teach you!” Julia laughed, and Elizabeth looked between the two of them, a little confused.
“What do you mean? You are proud that I kissed a man so brazenly and openly?”
She touched her fingers to her mouth, wanting to cover up the source of her embarrassment.
Charlotte reached for her. “Of course, I am! You have made a choice to enjoy your time, and enjoy it, you shall! Do not let anyone try to tell you otherwise. Men kiss women all the time. Why is it that women cannot do the same?”
Julia nodded. “Besides, we have done the same thing with our current husbands.” She laughed. “It seems that Sassenachs get put under a spell when they arrive in Scotland. All it takes is a Highlander to make a woman think differently about everything and put a little fire in her heart.”
Elizabeth felt a wave of relief. “Is that true? You have done the same thing as me? But certainly, you have not considered two men in your mind as men who have taken your fancy?”
Charlotte giggled with delight. “Elizabeth, you are absolutely wonderful! You think both of John and of Liam, do you not? Even if Liam is the only one you have kissed? I tell you, you must get John to kiss you, and then you can decide between them!” She shrieked with laughter, and Julia chuckled
“That could be one way.”
Elizabeth was entertained but still felt a little disheartened. Would her conscience allow her peace if she was to go about kissing two men and trying to compare them? What must the men think of her if they knew?
Julia continued. “And yes, Elizabeth. Charlotte is right. We both kissed our husbands in strange circumstances. My husband kissed me while he was sleepwalking, but I did nothing to stop him, even though I was meant to be a servant for a brief time. It was my first kiss.”
Charlotte chimed in. “And I kissed Angus against the stone wall of the Great Hall after dinner alone together. He most certainly did not expect that.” Charlotte blushed a little, and Elizabeth felt a little bit better, knowing everything that her friends had done.
She sighed. “So, I am not a terrible sinner for having done what I have?”
“Certainly not!” Charlotte smiled. “I think that strict society and the lessons of your father have sown their seeds in you long enough. As I told you, you must enjoy yourself on your trip. Are you sure that you will not be able to
stay even longer than you originally thought?”
Elizabeth’s shoulders sank a little. While she loved the intimacy she shared with her friends, she still felt that she couldn’t tell them of the promise to her father. They might try to make her change her mind, but she could not see a wait out of her promise. She could not lose the last bit of respect that her father had for her, and she wanted to do one last thing for her Mother. She shook her head.
“I cannot. I expect a letter within a few days from my aunt, possibly the first of many, trying to get me to return. I expect I will be only able to stay a few weeks at most.”
Charlotte looked relieved. She glanced at Julia, smiled, and said, “Well, that is much more than I expected. There is plenty of time to weave your tangled web of men and see just what happens. I want you to promise that you will not feel guilty about what you do.”
Julia nodded. “We women should be allowed to love who we choose and do what makes us happy. I feel that Scotland is a place for liberation!”
Elizabeth was strengthened by their words. She was not a harlot, after all. She had not expected that her friends would have been able to share her worries about being a wanton woman, but she was more than grateful. It made her seemingly wicked and dark desires
“So, I shall.”
The rest of the evening was spent in stories of home and the men in their lives and Julia’s future child. Elizabeth was smiling as she finally laid down to sleep in her own room hours later. All in all, it had been a very good day.
* * *
The next morning, Charlotte and Julia slept late, but Elizabeth was anxious to ride again, and so as so, after speaking to Mrs. MacLean for a little while and taking a fresh scone from the kitchens, she was down at the stables, having her horse prepared. She tried to tell herself that her desire to ride had nothing to do with the kiss she shared with Liam upon his hill. Not at all. In fact, she intended to expressly avoid that hill.
However, there was something about the way the Isle called to her. Once she had first set eyes upon it without the distraction of Liam or Charlotte or the patients in that one brief yet beautiful moment, something had changed in her.
She finally knew that such beauty existed in the world, and the sight had taken her breath away. She now craved to see it again. Its existence renewed her, emboldened her, and breathed fresh life into her. Once she had seen it, she’d inwardly resolved that while she was there on Mull, she wanted to soak up the energy of the Isle as much as she could. It was making her into a new and better person, even if it forced her to do things like jump into a strange man’s arms.
She clutched tightly to the horse as it rode with speed and agility across the heather and the craggy hills. Liam’s house stood in the corner of her eye, but she stayed as far from it as she could. She wasn’t sure where he was today, but she dared not risk surprisingly running into him again when she needed to think clearly when she saw him next. If she was kissing him passionately one day, who was to say that she would not be lying in bed with him the next?
Keeping her mind on the view and the rhythm of her horse, she tried to relax and let her muscles smooth out as she slowed atop one of the other high hills. It looked down on the nearby village and to the forests that crowded the edge of the Sound’s shore. She leaned forward to brush her hand through the horse’s soft mane. “You have done very well, my dear. It is a pity I have not yet learned your name. I will remedy that as soon as possible.”
She sighed with contentment as she took in the view. The air seemed sweet and fresh, nearly heavenly. This was her Heaven, she thought. What a gift to taste it before descending into a possible Hell back in England?
“Talking tae yer horse, are ye? Seems odd behavior for a fancy English lass. Surely yer tutors taught ye that animals cannae reply.”
Elizabeth felt goosebumps rise on the back of her neck. She recognized the voice for its sultry tones, and this time, they were also edged in sarcasm. She dreaded having to look upon her.
Atop her own horse, staring out to sea, with her shoulders back and the corners of her lips turned up into a smirk, Brea looked akin to a queen.
Elizabeth replied calmly and austerely, “I thought it normal behavior to do so. They are treasured animals, after all. Many people treat their horses as friends.” She patted her hand on the horse’s neck, protectively.
Brea smiled. “So ye are both bonny and just a little bit mad. I suppose we could like each other in a different world.”
Elizabeth frowned, frustrated that her precious time of isolation was interrupted yet again and by the same person. “I suppose I should take that as a sort of skewed compliment. You are Brea, correct?”
Brea nodded, her loose dark hair moving seductively in the soft breeze. Everything about her was sensual, and Elizabeth still found herself jealous of how the young woman presented herself unabashedly to the world. Deep down, she wished that she too could be so brazen without experiencing a guilty conscience.
Brea said, “Aye. ‘Tis I, Mistress. But I feel introductions are beyond us now that I have seen ye in such an intimate embrace and with a Highlander nae less.”
Elizabeth steeled herself, but she could still feel heat brushing her cheeks. She was thankful for the coolness of the air, which would help keep some of the redness from her face. “And for that, I do apologize. It is very unlike me to do an act so openly. I did not realize that others would be present for it.” She kept her eyes forward, for Brea’s dark ones were strong and daring, and she wished to cower underneath her gaze.
Brea sighed. “Now that I have seen what I have seen, I feel it my duty tae warn ye about Liam MacLean. ‘Tis only right that I do so, ye see.” Elizabeth waited, wondering what on earth she could possibly have to say or why she felt it incumbent upon her to say anything at all.
“I know men, lass. Liam is a womanizer, pure and simple, lass. I saw the way ye kissed him yesterday as if yer very life depended on it, and as if ye expected something from it.” This time, Elizabeth blushed deeply and looked down at her hands, wishing she could be anywhere else but there. If only Mull was not so small!“What ye hope for will nae happen. He is nae the man tae catch in that way. He is nae the marrying kind. Surely ye could find yerself someone much more suitable instead of wasting yer embraces on that man.”
Elizabeth looked back at Brea in confusion. Was that what Elizabeth was hoping for with Liamor with John? She searched in her heart. She honestly had not even thought about it. Her only thoughts had been for a bit of diversion and an escape from her former self. She had also been slightly overcome and had lost her sense in the moment when she’d kissed him. The idea of marriage to a Scotsman only had entered her thoughts when Charlotte mentioned John as a possible suitor her father would approve of. But with Liam, did she expect some sort of declaration or relationship after their kiss?
No. She didn’t. “I do not know why you presume to know my affairs, Brea, but I was not attempting to go after the man’s heart as a husband-hunter. It was a moment we shared. There was nothing beyond that.”
Brea grimaced a little, but then it cleared into a wide smile. “So ye wouldnae mind if I told him that, then?”
Elizabeth clenched her hands tightly on the reins. This woman was attempting to weave her own tangled web, and she knew not the reason. “Why should I mind? I am certain he thinks nothing of me, as you have so elegantly put it. I also do not understand why you should take the time out of your busy day to make sure I knew about it.”
Exactly. What could Brea gain? There were no feelings between her and Liam besides the feelings of heated desire that had been kindled with their kiss. Were there? She thought of his smile and the charming way he’d complimented her dancing at the wedding. He was an endearing man, to be sure, but why would Brea think she could be injured by these revelations of his character? She had been able enough to see his fondness for the opposite sex and his very skilled way of revealing his interest.
Brea bristled, and Elizabeth was sati
sfied that her comment had struck true. Brea clicked to her horse to head back down to the village. “Be warned, Sassenach. The man doesnae want ye for a wife. Whatever fancy words ye have tae say tae deny it, I ken well enough what I saw between ye. Stay away from him. Ye will only get further entwined. Leave men like that tae the whores in the brothel. And for a wee more advice, I would turn yer eyes tae John Campbell. He is on the hunt for a wife and seems tae think much of ye.”
Elizabeth watched Brea’s dark hair flying behind her as she rode hard and fast. The silence after she left, which had previously been peaceful, was now deafening. Elizabeth should have been used to harsh words and people thinking they knew better than her after a long life under her father’s thumb, but this encounter irked her. Even though her father had not always been a good man and had constantly demanded obedience from her, he was still her father. He was invested in her life. But this woman who had known her only from two previous occasions, both in which they did not speak, dared to adjust her course in life?
Seduction in the Highlands: By choosing him she loses her inheritance, by leaving him she brakes her heart... Page 10