by Cassie Beebe
Her hands stopped moving against his back at the sound of the words. She leaned back, lifting her head up to read his eyes, and smiled at what she found there.
“I love you, too,” she said, heat flooding to her cheeks.
He smirked at her blush.
They stared at each other for a moment, resting in the words finally spoken.
Jacob cleared his throat, unable to keep the smile from his face. “Hey, do you wanna know a secret?” he asked.
Her eyes brightened. “Always.”
“Okay, but you can’t tell Callie,” he said. “Or Angela, of course,” he added, although that should go without saying.
“Oh my gosh!” she gasped. “Is Brandon gonna propose?!”
Jacob’s face fell. “What… how did you….”
“You said of course I shouldn’t tell Angela,” she rolled her eyes. “What else could that have been about?”
He sighed. “Well… yeah. He said he’s thinking about it,” he shrugged, his enthusiasm lessened by her correctly guessing the secret before he had a chance to say it.
“Oh my gosh,” she repeated, smiling from ear to ear. “That’s so exciting.”
He appraised the excitement in her eyes as she imagined their friends getting engaged, and a question arose in his mind.
“Hey, so… what do you think about that?”
She scoffed. “I think it’s about damn time. Haven’t they been dating since, like, junior high?”
“No,” he shook his head, rethinking his question altogether. “I mean, like… what do you think about… marriage?”
Her eyes went a little wider as his question sank in.
“Oh,” she said.
There was a lengthy silence as she processed the question, and he read her pensive expression.
“We’ve never really talked about it,” he said, trying his best to sound nonchalant. “Is that… something you think you see yourself doing again?”
Her eyes were somewhere far off, lost in memories he could only imagine. For a minute he worried about those memories, hoping he hadn’t stirred up anything depressing. He was close to apologizing and dropping the subject completely, when the corners of her lips pulled up into a soft smile.
“I think so,” she nodded. Meeting his gaze, she continued, “Despite everything that happened, and everyone telling us what a huge mistake we were making, I never had any regrets.”
He nodded.
“I…,” she paused, deciding whether or not to say what she was thinking. With a shy smirk, she said, “I actually really liked being a wife.”
She nearly snickered at the word, like it was such an outlandish concept.
He smiled at that.
Meeting his eyes again, she bit her lip. “What about you? I mean, your parents weren’t exactly the perfect picture of a healthy relationship. I’m sure you have your own hang-ups about all of that.”
He pursed his lips, debating whether or not to open a whole new can of worms, or simply answer the question she asked without elaboration.
“Super honesty time?” he cringed, questioning.
She stood up straighter, collecting her expression into a smooth mask, and nodded.
He took in a breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t think I have any issues with marriage,” he answered. Pausing for a moment, he added, “Kids, on the other hand….”
He peeked at her face and she simply nodded, spurring him on.
“I don’t know,” he shook his head, trying to put his complicated feelings on the subject into words. “With everything in my past, I guess it just scares me. The idea of…,” he trailed off, taking in another breath. “Of being anything like him.”
She cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow, capturing his attention.
“Jacob, you are nothing like him.”He let out a sigh, looking down at his feet. His brain knew that was true, but his heart had trouble letting go of the fear.
“For the record, I think you would be an amazing father,” she leaned forward, into his chest to catch his downcast gaze. “I mean, you kind of already were.”
He gave her a half grin, unsure if his experience with Maggie could be considered “amazing” parenting, but accepting the compliment nonetheless.
“But, honestly…,” she wrinkled her nose. “I’m kind of scared, too.”
His eyebrows popped up. “You are?”
She nodded with wide eyes. “It’s a huge responsibility. And it changes your entire life, you know?”
He had to take a deep breath just thinking about it.
She laughed at his anxious face, reaching up to his forehead to smooth out the lines there. “I’m not necessarily saying never,” she clarified. “But I’m definitely not in any rush.”
He let out the breath he was holding in, allowing her reassurance to take the pressure off of him. “Good,” he nodded.
She smiled up at him, rising on her toes to give him a brief smooch.
“Get a room!”
They both turned around at Mikey’s bellowing, and Angela and Brandon laughed behind him. Callie was trailing a few paces behind, finishing up a text before finally slipping her phone into her pocket and looking up at the statuesque buildings.
“We have one,” Jacob said. With a glance at the clock on his phone, he added, “Speaking of which, we should probably head back there if you girls wanted to hit the hot tub before it closes.”
To Mikey, he added, “Do you… need a place to crash tonight? I mean, the beds are all filled, but….”
“Unless you wanna snuggle up between us,” Jenna teased with a suggestive wink.
Mikey laughed. “Nah, I’m alright,” he said, looking at the city around them. “I think I want to stay out for a while longer, actually.”
Jacob nodded, remembering how torturous it was to spend his first 12 hours of freedom cooped up in a bus, when everything in him ached for fresh air and the great outdoors.
“Well, if you need anything, you’ve got my number,” he said. “How much cash do you have on you?”
“Uh…,” Mikey whipped out his old, checkered wallet and peeked inside. “Like twenty bucks.”
“Here,” Jacob said, already flipping through bills in his own wallet, handing over a few more twenties. “That should be enough for a decent room.”
He smiled, taking the cash. “Thanks, man,” he said, drawing Jacob in for a firm hug.
“Take care of yourself, alright? And we’ll be here for the rest of the week, if you wanna hang out again.”
Mikey nodded. “Yeah, that sounds cool. I’ll call you.” Addressing the rest of the group, he added, “Nice to meet you guys.”
They returned his platitudes, and Jenna stepped in for a warm embrace.
“See you soon,” she said as they pulled apart.
“See ya,” he said, giving them a wave as he walked off toward the place where the giant Christmas tree once stood, now replaced with a cluster of people making their way through their everyday lives.
“Alright, everyone,” Jacob declared, pointing in the opposite direction. “Onward!”
The girls and Brandon skipped ahead, talking about everything they wanted to do in the city while they were there, and Jacob and Jenna brought up the rear. He slipped his hand in hers again as they began their slow stroll back to the hotel.
Looking around at the smiling faces of his friends as they pointed out stores they wanted to visit the next day, Jacob was hit with the fierce and sudden understanding of the concept of home.
It wasn’t Ohio, or being back in New York. It wasn’t the farmhouse of his memories, gathering dust in the absence of Sarah. It wasn’t his shared bedroom at Bellevue, and it certainly wasn’t the tiny shack in Queens where his parents and sister all met their end.
Home was being surrounded by laughing friends. It was Jenna’s hand clasped tightly around his own, and not caring about the way her rings pressed uncomfortably against his fingers. It was walking down those familiar city stre
ets, not worrying about being recognized or judged for his past, because he knew who he was. He was learning, growing, and he had learned enough to know that was the most he could expect from himself.
It was freedom, and from the moment he decided to finally claim it, it was his.
Thank you, dear reader, for picking up my book Broken Together!
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While this is the end of Jacob’s story, there are many more stories still to come. If you enjoy my writing and love a good healthy romance in your life, consider signing up for my monthly newsletter to get updates on any new projects I will be releasing in the future.
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See you in the next one.
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