Amish Love and Healing
Big Valley Amish Series – Book 3
Table of Contents
Title Page
About This Book
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue
Also By Rachel Stoltzfus
About This Book
A community’s best intentions are tested when a local barn fire looks like arson. They know Katie lies. Is she responsible?
As Katie gets trapped in her own web of lies, the line between truth and deceit becomes muddled. Katie can’t make herself forget what happened to her in Goshen. And her stories won’t make the pain go away.
Then a neighbor’s barn burns down, and it looks like arson. Now Katie is the number one suspect. Is Katie responsible? If so, does that make her beyond redemption? And if not, how can a proven liar clear her own name?
Katie is at the end of her rope. What she does next will shock a community and expose a family’s tragic secret.
Will Katie get a second chance at a life and love? Or is she too broken to save?
Find out in the Amish Love and Healing by Rachel Stoltzfus. This is the third book of the Big Valley Amish series. If you love Christian Amish stories about love, healing, and the power of community, start reading Amish Secrets and Lies today!
Prologue
Back on the train, John and Lovina Lapp were in quiet conversation with a psychologist who had overheard John’s question.
“Bishop, to answer your question, we won’t know until we find out what has happened to her to make her tell these lies. Some do it for attention. Others have a truth that they need to tell but for some reason can’t. And there are some that can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is not.”
“She’s trying to hide her involvement, so I don’t think it is the latter. As for the former, how would she be getting attention for this? If anything, she’s done all she could to disguise herself as the originator of the story.”
“The attention is indirect but affirming. Every time the rumor grows, she gets an endorphin burst. For some, just that small kick is enough. For others, they can act out in more extreme ways, harming themselves and others physically.”
“How?” Lovina was frightened.
“Self-harm is most likely. Cutting, drug abuse, suicidal ideation. Some lash out at their family members or even their own children.”
“Mei Gott!” Lovina exclaimed.
“But we won’t know if she’s likely to do any of this until she has a chance to be assessed. Sometimes the cause can be an early trauma. Is she the only one in her family with these tendencies? Is there a history of depression, schizophrenia or other similar issues in her family history? Even an underlying medical condition like diabetes can lead to irrational behavior. We won’t know until we’ve had a chance to assess her. The important thing to know is that if she is responsible, she needs help from a professional so that she does not further harm herself or others.”
John and Lovina looked at each other. Now their trip was even more urgent than before.
The next morning, they stepped off the train. Looking for a tall, muscular Amishman, they saw one. He approached them first. “Bishop and Mrs. Lapp? I’m Michael Hoffstetter. Or Big Mike, as everyone calls me.”
“Gut morning! We are so grateful you agreed to speak with us.” John explained the new urgency of their visit.
“Mei Gott! Let’s go, and we’ll put you up in our home. You’ll be able to ask us everything you need, and we’ll answer it. Even if it makes us look less than gut.”
“That’s all we ask. We just need to get to the bottom of what she is doing.”
At the house, he took their two bags to a waiting bedroom. “My wife, Betsy, has prepared breakfast for you. We know you must be hungry. Then, we can get started.”
Over the next four days, John and Lovina listened, wrote down notes and asked questions of Michael and his family. They met the Goshen bishop and deacon, learning more about what had happened.
Big Mike said, “She was much too young for baptismal instruction, so all we could do was require her and her parents to sell their home and leave here. We had a sense that she was capable of doing this again. And now, it appears she has. What did this doctor on the train tell you?”
“The doctor said it could be a cry for attention. Or maybe Katie has some past trauma that’s causing her to act out. It’s also possible she can’t tell the difference between what is real and what is not, though I doubt that’s the case because she’s trying to hide her involvement.”
“Nee, she knew,” Betsy, Mike’s wife said. “And her lies nearly destroyed me and my family. I told Mike not to have Katie around here in the first place. Remember that lie she told about finding a body in Levi’s cornfield?”
“Levi?”
“She was nine, Betsy. And her mam said it was a nightmare.”
“Katie was lying, even then.”
“Who’s Levi?”
“David’s older brother,” Betsy explained. “The elders told him you would be coming to talk about Katie, but he had an important commission in Elkhart he couldn’t reschedule. Or wouldn’t reschedule. I think the whole thing shames him. Levi loves his family, and he did everything he could for that family, especially those two girls.”
“The older one ran off on the rumspringa, right?”
“Esther, ja. She was quiet and always a bit sad. Not as pretty as Katie, so I don’t think people much noticed, even though the Ordnung says we’re not supposed to value people for their looks.”
John was glad he had come to Goshen. With each revelation, Katie’s history of telling harmful lies became more and more clear.
“I wish we did have a chance to speak with Levi Miller,” Lovina mused. “Is his wife around?”
“Susana passed on when Levi was just twenty-three. A year after they married. She’d always been sickly, and in spite of everything the doctors did to help, she just wasted away. We all admired Levi for how well he cared for her. And he never really came out of mourning. I know he loves children, so I thought he’d have married again eventually, but...” Betsy sighed. “Maybe that’s why he took such special interest in his brother’s family. He mainly works now. When he’s not in his carpentry, he’s traveling to the cities and towns doing more commissions.”
“He travels more than any carpenter I’ve ever seen,” Big Mike muttered.
“Is that a problem?” John asked.
Betsy laughed. “Mike’s just jealous, that’s all. “It’s hard building up a business with that kind of competition. But Levi contributes more than most anyone to the district fund. And he remade most of the furniture for the school.”
“Ja, he did.” Big Mike said. “I know I shouldn’t hold Katie against him. He could have warned us, that’s all.”
“He loves his family.”
Big Mike sighed. “Ja, he does.”
Lovina said, “But you’ve managed to rehabilitate your reputation, ja?”
“Only with a lot of very hard work. There are still a couple of people here who look at me cross-eyed.” Big Mike sighed. “I never wanted anything to do with Katie Miller again. How did Sabine come across her?”
“Katie and her mam are quilters. Sabine owns a fabric store just north of our community. Katie went there when we forbade everyone from going to English businesses. The only time we are allowed to interact with the English now is when we take orders or deliver them.”
“A
ch, what a mess. So, she met Sabine, who realized somehow that she recognized her name. Feel free to speak to anyone here in Goshen. Even those who don’t believe me. Katie’s lie nearly destroyed me and my family and the rumor you’ve described is the same kind of toxic. I think you’re right to suspect her.”
Over the next four days, John and Lovina listened, wrote down notes and asked questions of Michael and his family. They met the Goshen bishop and deacon, learning more about what had happened.
Big Mike explained, “Katie was much too young for baptismal instruction, so all we could do was require her and her parents to sell their home and leave here.”
Lovina asked, “What about getting her psychological help?”
Big Mike averted his gaze at the question, and said with vehemence, “She was hurting our community, and we had a sense that she was capable of doing this again. Now, it appears she has. What else were we to do? Hope that an Englisch doctor could put right something broken in her soul?”
As Big Mike spoke, something shifted inside Lovina. When the psychologist had spoken of getting Katie help, Lovina had asked herself if it would be of any use. Lying was not an illness, it was a failure of character. But Gott had given them the commandments to live in His image. To turn the other cheek.
Stopping Katie from causing further harm was of the utmost importance, but if they cast her out, it would simply be passing the problem on to another community. Katie wouldn’t get the help she needed, and Lovina, along with her entire community, would be turning their back on Gott’s example.
Lovina said, “It is Gott who determines the content of our soul. We have but to follow his commandments. Be kind to each other. Turn the other cheek.”
“Hmmm...” Big Mike’s cheeks flushed. “Ya, of course. As is Gott’s will. What did this doctor tell you?”
“She said there could be multiple reasons. At its worst, it could be simply attention seeking, or there could be something from her past that is making her act this way.”
“I had wondered at first if she was carrying some kind of burden from her past,” Big Mike said, his gaze unfocused as he spoke. “She would tense up or sometimes flinch if I got too close or startled her. It wasn’t my place to ask but...” He sighed. “Then she accused me of...hurting her, and I—I just figured it was all a part of her act.”
“It could be attention seeking, but I have to wonder, of the lies she could have told, what would make her invent a sexual assault? Her accusation had details, didn’t it?”
“Ja. Mei Gott, I feel sick,” Big Mike exclaimed. “But she just lied and lied. And I couldn’t see past that she was accusing me. If someone did—she would have been a child!”
“We have no evidence anything at all has happened to Katie,” John cut in. “My wife is inclined to see the best in all people. It is a virtue, but the psychologist also said we had a responsibility to our community to keep Katie from causing further harm.”
Lovina nodded, understandingly. “To herself and others,” she added. But she understood It was difficult to turn the other cheek, especially when the harm was to one’s reputation and not the flesh. “Your sister-in-law explained everything that happened. I am so sorry about what happened to you. Have you been able to rebuild your business?”
“Only with a lot of very hard work. There are still a couple people here who look at me cross-eyed. How did Sabine come across Katie?” Michael was curious.
“Katie and her mam are quilters. Sabine owns a fabric store just north of our community. Katie went there when we forbade everyone from going to English businesses. The only time we are allowed to interact with the English now is when we take orders or deliver them.”
“Ach, what a mess. So, she met Sabine, who realized somehow that she recognized her name? Feel free to speak to anyone here in Goshen. Even those who don’t believe me.”
Thus began one of the most surreal weeks of John and Lovina’s lives. When they finished, they had a notebook full of notes, which they would be sharing with their community and the mayor of Big Valley.
As John became more and more resolute of the need to end Katie’s deceptions, Lovina felt an equal determination to ensure that Katie got the help she needed. Katie was also a member of their community, and they could not turn their backs on Katie solely to save themselves.
Chapter 1
Boarding the train back to Pennsylvania, Bishop Lapp felt the weight of his responsibility strongly. Looking at Lovina, he knew his wife felt it just as heavily. “Lovina, I wish we hadn’t learned everything we did. Now, we have to make several decisions. If it is Katie, what are we going to do to stop her?”
“It is not just a matter of stopping her. We have to make sure she gets psychiatric help.”
“If it will help. I am not convinced it will.”
“We must try,” Lovina pleaded. “I feel it is our responsibility, a responsibility Goshen turned its back on.”
“Wife, you are too kind I think.”
“Husband, are we not to follow in Gott’s footsteps? Treat others as we would wish to be treated? If they cannot help her, then we can cast her out, but shouldn’t we at least try?”
Bishop Lapp took his wife’s hands. His eyes were shining as he asked, “How could I live without your wisdom?”
Lovina smiled. “Quite poorly. Without that and my famous Shoofly pies.”
Bishop Lapp squeezed her hands. “I’m going to go talk to the deacon and ministers. Then, I need to go and talk to Amos Smits. His family has to know. And if it is Katie, as we all suspect, we will first insist that she gets helped. The community fund will be able to pay for her therapy. But first and foremost, she must be stopped from causing further harm.”
AFTER ARRIVING BACK in Big Valley, John and Lovina sat down to make specific plans. Lovina wrote them down.
John said, “First, I’ll go and visit the elders tomorrow. If there’s time after that, I’ll go see the mayor.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to get an appointment?”
“Ja, I’ll go to the barn and call her office. Denki. Once I’ve got that set, I’ll go and talk to the Smits family.”
“Gutt plan. I’m glad that Amos has begun to court Katie again. Even though it’s only to keep an eye on what she’s doing.”
“Ja, but he needs to be very careful,” John warned, pulling at his beard. “She has a way of pulling people in.”
Lovina shook her head. “Maybe not. Now that he’s aware of what she’s capable of, I think he’ll have the strength to resist her ability to do so. And maybe after she’s had help...it would be good for her to have something to look forward to.”
“Amos should not have to bear that burden.”
“No. But none of us know what the future holds. We can only do our best.”
John nodded, thinking. “What about others here? Like Katie’s friends?”
Lovina shivered, feeling a chill race down her arms and torso. “I’ve been thinking of that. I didn’t want to say anything until I had some ideas. We have to isolate her, but not make it seem as though we are doing so. She needs help, not to be shunned.”
John nodded, pacing the kitchen. “Yes, wife. We have to be subtle about our intervention. She can’t realize what’s happening until it’s done.”
John and Lovina’s conversation continued for several hours more as they weighed different actions they could take. “John, it’s for certain that you should talk to the elders first. All of you have a gutt read of Big Valley. And tell the mayor what we want to do to reduce the effectiveness of Katie’s rumors.”
SITTING IN DEACON YODER’S kitchen, John sipped the hot coffee he’d accepted from the deacon’s wife, Mildred. She sat in the meeting with them, providing possible perspectives that Katie would view.
“John, if you’re going to begin isolating Katie, do it slowly. Not everyone all at once. Start with those who aren’t as close to her. In the meantime, Annie, Elisabeth and I will watch her closely.”
“Does she
know that you suspect her? Any of you?”
“Nee. We need to make sure our conversations about this are kept private.”
John nodded several times. “Ja, that’s what I wanted to stress. We should not, under any circumstances, speak in public about what we know and what we’re doing. I have spoken with the psychiatrist, and she can be taken for in-patient treatment whenever we call. I was able to get an appointment with the mayor for first thing tomorrow morning. She just came back from a conference and will be in the office for the first time tomorrow.”
“John, do you mind if I join you?” Deacon Yoder leaned back in his chair.
“Nee, that’s fine.” John looked out the large picture window. “We should go out to the back and plan there. I just caught sight of someone driving by in their buggy. If I can see them, they can see us.”
Outside, everyone pulled chairs into a circle on the back porch. “Mildred, how do you suggest we isolate Katie?”
“Begin with people who aren’t her closest friends. Talk to Amos Smits and let him know we need him to continue seeing her. She can’t know that we suspect or even believe that she’s the person behind these horrible lies. As time goes on, continue getting more and more people to isolate her so that, eventually, even in the middle of Big Valley, she won’t have anyone she can approach to bring this lie back to life. She shouldn’t be able to spread it to anyone, especially her closest friend.”
“Do you know who that would be?” Bishop Lapp had begun to pace around the wide porch.
“I believe it’s Libby King. And I had a long conversation with Deborah King while you were in Indiana. She is alarmed by Libby’s friendship with Katie. She wants to tell her to stop spending time with her, but...”
“Nee, not yet. It’ll be hard for her to hear this, but Libby has to continue interacting with Katie, even though she may not continue being as close as in the past.” Looking out toward the fields in back of the Yoder home, John saw large houses with outbuildings. He also spotted the distant figures of the occupants of the farms. Mentally, he traced the route to the Miller’s home. It’s gut that they live in a different direction, or we would be in trouble right now.
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