Measured Mayhem

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by Jessica Beck


  “What exactly happened?” I asked her.

  “Not here,” she said in a hushed tone.

  “Autumn, absolutely no one in this restaurant is paying any attention to us.” It was true enough. There was just one other couple besides the table of four in the restaurant, which didn’t surprise me. It was a bit early for most people, but I’d missed my lunch, and I hated missing meals. The couples who had clearly ordered the gigantic pizza were oddly silent, with the wives glancing from time to time at their husbands, then looking at each other and shrugging. It was an odd dynamic for sure.

  “I just can’t,” she said, her voice choking a little. “Suzanne, couldn’t we just enjoy this for what it is, two old friends getting together who haven’t seen each other in a long time? I’m craving something normal in my life right now.”

  I saw that she was about to crack, so I knew it was time to back off, at least for the moment. “I’ll agree to that, as long as you promise that you’ll tell me everything when we get back to your place.”

  “Fine,” she said. “How are things in April Springs?”

  I couldn’t tell her about Phillip. He’d asked me to respect his privacy, and I had every intention of keeping that promise. As I was about to tell her something trivial from my life, my phone rang.

  It was Momma.

  “I’m sorry, but I have to take this,” I said as I stood.

  “No worries. I’ll be right here,” she said.

  I stepped outside as I answered the phone. “How is he?”

  “The doctor says it went off without a hitch,” she said. “My husband is short one prostate, and hopefully they were able to get all of the cancer as well.”

  “Is there any reason to believe that they didn’t?” I asked her.

  “No, no one has said anything to the contrary,” my mother said. It was the second time that day I’d heard tough women sound defeated, and it rattled me to my core. These were two resilient ladies that epitomized strength to me.

  “Momma, you sound tired,” I told her.

  “I am,” she admitted, something that was rare indeed. “He’s staying here overnight, and I’m bringing him home tomorrow. I can’t believe how quickly they are discharging him, but I don’t exactly have a say in the matter. Phillip meant what he said, Suzanne. No party, no fuss. He doesn’t even want visitors until he’s back on his feet again.”

  “I understand,” I said. “Well, not really, but Jake does, and that’s good enough for me. I’m near Asheville right now anyway.”

  “Why is that?” Momma asked. “Is Jake with you?”

  “No, I’m alone,” I said. “Autumn called me from Cheswick.”

  “I’m so glad you two are getting together. How is she?”

  “Not great,” I admitted.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Don’t worry about it, Momma. You have enough to deal with at the moment.”

  “Nonsense,” my mother said. “Frankly, I could use the distraction.”

  “Her marriage is in trouble, though she hasn’t told me why just yet,” I said. I couldn’t exactly tell Momma that someone was trying to kill Autumn, at least not until I heard the evidence myself. In the meantime, what I’d said was clearly true enough.

  “Just be there for her, dear,” Momma said. “If there’s anything I can do, call me.”

  “I will,” I said, laughing a bit.

  “What is so amusing, Suzanne?” Momma asked.

  “I’ve got a feeling you’re going to have your hands full with your husband,” I said. “I should be home in a few days if you need me.”

  “Stay as long as you need to. She needs you.”

  “You might, too,” I said, “and mothers trump friends, ten out of ten.”

  Momma laughed, a sound I never tired of hearing. “If things get dire, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, take care of that dear, sweet girl.”

  Neither Autumn nor I had been dear, sweet girls in a long time, but I didn’t contradict her. “I will,” I answered.

  “I need to go,” Momma said. “Will you call Jake for me?”

  “I’m on it,” I said.

  “Thank you. I love you, Suzanne.”

  “Love you too, Momma.”

  After calling Jake and giving him the news, I walked back in just as Lacey was carrying the monster pizza out of the kitchen to the spare table they’d set aside by the foursome. It literally filled the entire table when she struggled to put it down, and for a second I was worried she might drop it, but she righted the ship just in time and made it safely to port.

  “Enjoy,” she said as the men smiled and one of the women groaned.

  “I told you both before, I can just eat one piece,” she told them.

  “That’s fine,” he said. “We can handle it, right, Jim?”

  His friend looked at the pizza as though he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life, but he managed a weak smile. “You bet,” he said.

  They were clearly overmatched.

  Lacey grabbed a pitcher of tea and topped off our glasses.

  “How much does that thing weigh?” I asked her.

  “Fifteen pounds,” she said.

  “How do you manage to carry it by yourself?” Autumn asked her.

  “I’m tougher than I look. Besides, I have the strength of ten because my heart is pure.”

  I had to laugh. This young lady had a lot going on, and I was going to over-tip her generously to show my approval. “I love a server who quotes Tennyson,” I told her.

  “What can I say? Nobody’s just one thing,” she replied with a smile, clearly pleased that I’d recognized the quote from Galahad. “Be back with your pizza soon.”

  Autumn and I openly stared as the party of four tackled their massive pizza with less and less enthusiasm until one of the men waved his napkin in the air. “I’m through,” he said.

  The other nodded. “I can eat one more.”

  His wife shook her head. “Gray, stop. You’re going to make yourself sick. We can get the rest to go.”

  He looked at her for a moment and then threw his napkin down as well after waving it halfheartedly. “It’s still going to make a great story, and Jim got lots of pictures.”

  Our pizza came, and it looked amazing. The crust was one of the best I’d ever had, and I had to wonder what my friends at Napoli’s would think. Knowing Angelica, she’d probably waltz right into the kitchen and demand a lesson on the spot. That was the thing about her. She was never too overconfident in her abilities to try to improve, something I loved dearly about her.

  I was still savoring the pizza when Lacey came back out of the kitchen with three full-sized pizza boxes. After she loaded the remainder of the mammoth pizza up, the men split the check while the women carried out the evidence of their doomed attempt to tackle the massive pizza, at least in one sitting.

  Lacey’s smile turned into a frown when she picked up their check. “They stiffed me! Really?” she asked, clearly unhappy about what had occurred.

  Just then one of the men walked back in and handed her twenty dollars. “Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly. “I was so full I forgot.”

  “It’s all good,” Lacey said happily. I wasn’t about to leave her a twenty, but I was still planning on tipping her handsomely. Good service wasn’t always something I could depend on, and I did my best to reward it whenever I found it.

  We managed to polish off all but one piece, but Autumn refused a box for the leftover pizza.

  “If she doesn’t want it, I’ll take it,” I said.

  “Suzanne, you don’t have to eat reheated pizza,” she told me.

  “I know I don’t have to, but this was amazing!” On a whim, I walked over to the pizza chef while Lacey was getting us our box. Grabbing a five from my wallet, I handed it to him. “That pizza was a work of art, sir.”

  He took the bill gladly while Lacey walked past. “I’d better get more than that, or we’re going to have a problem, Ray.”

&n
bsp; “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered, too,” I said as I handed her a ten in exchange for the box. The tips were going to be close to what the pizza and drinks had cost, but it had been worth it seeing that monster made and delivered to the table.

  “Are you ready?” I asked as I returned to Autumn.

  “Suzanne, I was going to pay for dinner,” she protested.

  “You can get the next one,” I said.

  As we walked out, she asked me, “Are we coming back here again?”

  “You never know, but I have a hunch we’ll be eating out again while I’m in town,” I said.

  “Fine by me,” she answered.

  We were both smiling about the memory of the meal when I noticed someone leaving me a note on my Jeep.

  I was afraid someone had hit me when he turned around and I recognized Jeff Marbury, Autumn’s estranged husband, standing there looking as though he’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

  Chapter 5

  “JEFF, WHAT DO YOU THINK you are doing?” Autumn demanded as she got up in his face.

  The suddenness of her verbal assault made him take a step back. “I just wanted to talk to you, honey.”

  “Don’t call me honey,” she said fiercely. “How did you even know I was with Suzanne in her Jeep? Strike that. Adam told you, didn’t he?”

  “Does it really matter? I want you home.” The poor guy really did look miserable. The question was, though, was it sincere, or could it all just be an act for my benefit?

  “I am home,” she said. “I told you I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. Pushing me isn’t going to help.”

  “I just don’t understand. Dr. Morganton says you haven’t made it to your last two appointments.”

  “Why is she contacting you?” Autumn asked, clearly unhappy with something.

  “You gave her permission, remember?”

  “Of course I remember. Leave me alone, Jeff.”

  He took a step back as though she’d physically struck him. “I can’t do that. I love you, and I know deep down in my heart that you still love me, too.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Autumn said, easing her tone of voice a bit. “And even if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be here in the parking lot.”

  “Name the time and the place, and I’ll be there,” he said earnestly.

  “The only thing you should be hearing is not here and not now,” she said.

  “Okay, I get it. You know where to find me.” Almost as an afterthought, he looked in my direction. “Hey, Suzanne.”

  “Hey,” I said as I walked around him and got into the Jeep. Autumn slipped into the passenger seat beside me.

  “Where to?” I asked her. Jeff still hadn’t moved from his spot.

  “Just drive!”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said as I started the engine and pulled away, leaving her estranged husband standing there like a lost puppy.

  After we’d gone a few blocks, she turned to me and said, “I’m sorry I snapped like that in front of you.”

  “That’s okay. He caught you off guard.”

  “It was more like an ambush, if you ask me,” Autumn said.

  “Do you want to go home? Back to your cottage, I mean?” I quickly added. I didn’t want to make her think I was encouraging her to do anything but what was in her heart.

  “No, we still need groceries. Let’s swing by the store and pick up a few things.”

  “Just tell me where to go,” I said.

  She directed me to a nearby chain grocery store, and as we walked the aisles, we started collecting enough things to live off for the next few days. There wasn’t really a plan, just something to keep us from having to come out again if we didn’t want to leave her place.

  We were approaching the checkout line when a stylish woman half a dozen years younger than we were approached us. “Autumn, are you okay?” she asked as she touched my friend’s arm.

  Autumn pulled away instantly at the contact. “I’m perfect, Annie.”

  The woman looked a bit distressed, though I doubted her sincerity. “I heard about you and Jefferson. I’m so sorry you two split up.”

  “We aren’t divorced. We’re just taking a break,” Autumn said as I started loading our purchases on the conveyor belt. It was clear she didn’t want to be having that particular conversation, and I was going to do everything in my power to get us out of there as quickly as I could manage it.

  “Of course you are,” the woman said. “You moved out, though. I heard that part right?”

  “Yes, that’s correct,” she said as I handed over my credit card to the cashier. “We’ve got to run.”

  “Stay brave,” Annie said. The mock look of sympathy dropped when Autumn turned her back, and I could swear that I saw a smug little smile on the woman’s face before she realized I was still watching her. It quickly vanished, but it had been too late.

  As we walked outside and got into the car, I said, “Wow, she’s a real treat.”

  “You don’t know the half of it. She was Jeff’s high school sweetheart. Not only is Annie Greenway gorgeous, but her family’s loaded, too. Also, Cecile loves her, or at least she used to, which doesn’t help matters. Make no mistake about it; Annie is a shark, and she senses that there’s blood in the water. When and if I do leave Jeff, she’ll be the first one in line to take my place.”

  “Are you really thinking about divorcing him?” I asked her.

  “Honestly, I don’t know right now,” she said.

  I had to ask her something that was burning in my mind. “Autumn, who exactly is Dr. Morganton?”

  My former roommate stared out the window for a full minute before she answered, and when she finally did speak, her voice was barely above a whisper. “She’s my psychiatrist.”

  I wasn’t sure how to react at first. After all, I knew a great many people who got a lot of benefit from treatment. “How long have you been seeing her?”

  “I don’t see her anymore,” Autumn said briskly.

  “Okay, how long did you see her?” I asked, pushing her a little harder.

  “When I first started hearing the voices,” she said, the weariness thick in her voice.

  “I’m guessing she didn’t help matters, or you’d still be seeing her.”

  “Suzanne, she wanted to drug me! I don’t want to be numb; I want to figure out what’s really happening to me. If it’s truly in my head, I’ll get treatment, but I know, I just know in my heart, that I’m not imagining this. I’ll tell you one thing. If I do get help, it won’t be from her.”

  “Why? Is she not very good?” I asked as we neared the cottage.

  “People say she is, but she’s in the Marburys’ back pocket, so who knows? I don’t trust her.”

  “That’s reason enough not to see her anymore,” I said as I pulled up and parked beside her car. At least no one was waiting for us there. As we grabbed our groceries and that last slice of pizza and headed in, I added, “I’ve got your back. You know that, right?”

  “I do,” she said gratefully. “Listen, I know this can’t wait, but can we at least put a pin in this for an hour? I’d like not to think about any of this before I tell you the rest of it.”

  “I can give you that,” I said as we carried our things inside. Once we had everything put away, I smiled at her. “How about a game of Scrabble?”

  “Do you really want to put yourself through the humiliation of getting destroyed?” she asked me with the whisper of a grin on her lips. We’d loved playing the game while we’d been roommates, and some of my fondest memories of time spent with Autumn had been playing and laughing, making up words and trying to get the other to swallow preposterous definitions. What can I say? We weren’t exactly party girls, but we had fun, and that was all that really mattered.

  “Bring it on,” I said.

  “Cribble isn’t a word,” I said as soon as Autumn made the word using the B in “blast” as her base.

  “Sorry, but it
really is,” she said as she totaled up her points. “That triple word score really helped. Thanks for setting me up.”

  “Don’t write it down yet,” I protested. “What’s the definition?”

  “I ran the jam through the cribble before I canned it,” she said. There was a shade of hesitation in her voice as she said it, as though she were making it up on the fly. “It’s kind of like a sieve.”

  “Nice try, but I’m challenging it,” I said as I reached for the dictionary.

  From the grin on Autumn’s face, I knew that I was sunk in an instant, but I looked it up anyway. Slamming the book shut after confirming her definition, I asked her, “How on earth did you know that word?”

  “I ran across it a few weeks ago in an old cookbook,” she said with a delighted grin. “You know the rules; you lose twenty-five points for the incorrect challenge.”

  “I remember, but you don’t have to sound so pleased about it.”

  “Sorry, I can’t help myself.”

  “You had me fooled,” I said.

  “Suzanne, I’ve learned over the years that one of the best ways to lie is to tell the truth unconvincingly.”

  “Man, it’s scary how good you were at it,” I said. “Okay, my turn.”

  I played the word “kidle” and started adding up my score.

  “Challenge,” she said.

  “Come on, everyone knows what a kidle is,” I protested.

  “Definition, please.”

  “I found a kidle at the antique store,” I said as resolutely as I could.

  “I’m looking it up,” she answered.

  I’d taken a shot that she wouldn’t challenge me so soon after winning one from me, but I was wrong.

  After a few moments, she showed me the dictionary. “If you’d only had another D, you’d have been on the money. It’s a dam, by the way, though I have to admit that I didn’t know that one.”

  “Just take the points,” I said, laughing at my audacity and the speed with which she’d caught me. Tipping my tiles over to concede the game, I added, “I give up. You win.”

  It was great seeing her again, but we couldn’t put it off any longer.

 

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