Ellie reached up and placed her hand on my elbow, and I nodded to her in appreciation. It was nice to know she understood what a tense situation Falyn and I were in, and that she was right there with me.
I tapped Falyn gently with my finger, and she instantly tensed. She didn't turn to me, so I accepted that she wasn't going to speak to me as long as Alyssa was in the car. "I love you," I said, running my thumb along the skin between her shoulder and neck. She didn't shrug me off, which was the first surprise, but then she turned to me and smiled. I figured I'd say it again, hoping to get an even better reaction. "No matter what. I love you."
A tear welled up in Falyn's eye and spilled over onto her freckled cheek. I used my thumb to wipe it away and then held my palm against her face. She leaned into it, and my heart burst in my chest.
Thank you, she mouthed.
So that was it. She just needed Alyssa to know where she stood. Actions, not words. It made sense now why she wanted nothing to do with a quiet attempt to hold her hand. She needed a show. Women were exhausting. Ellie had tried to explain to me the logic for leaving and staying gone. It had made more sense to me to work things out together, but Ellie had assured me that it was better to try to gain some insight on the whys rather than to let my frustration lead to anger. Falyn's reasons were always far deeper than I could understand, and sometimes deeper than she would admit. Things like needing control or leaving before she was left. Shame. Guilt. Or even worse--apathy. My brothers all seemed to get their wives better than I did, but Falyn kept me in the dark most of the time.
I was desperate to understand her and for her to understand me. Just when I was beginning to lose faith, we would have a moment, and I would feel a flicker of hope. By the look in her eyes, I could see she felt that way, too. It was so much more than her being a bitch and me being dumb. It was two people who had lugged all of their baggage into a relationship trying to sift through their own shit to see the love that brought them together in the first place.
I slipped my hand beneath her hair and began to rub her neck with my thumb and index finger. I used to do that when we'd sit on the couch and watch a movie after the kids fell asleep. It had been a long time since I'd been able to do that, and her tense muscles melted under my touch.
Alyssa touched her radio. "I have a possible on my four o'clock, six back." I couldn't hear a reply, but Alyssa didn't seem alarmed.
"Someone is following us?" Hollis asked.
Alyssa smiled. "Possibly, smarty pants."
"Is it the same guy who shot Uncle Tommy?"
"No," Alyssa responded.
"How do you know?"
"Because he's in jail."
"How do you know?" Hollis asked again.
"Hols," Falyn said, tapping him.
"Because I put him there myself," Alyssa answered.
"You did?" Hollis said, leaning against his seat belt. "How many people have you arrested?"
"A lot."
"How many people have you shot?"
I frowned. "C'mon, buddy."
Hollis waited for Alyssa to answer.
"Only the ones I had to," she said.
Hollis sat back, impressed. He hesitated before asking his next question. "Has my Uncle Tommy ever shot anyone?"
"Ask him yourself," Alyssa said. Hollis was satisfied, but Alyssa wasn't. "I like your name."
"Thanks," he said.
"What about mine?" Hadley asked.
"Yours, too," Alyssa said.
"We should let Alyssa concentrate on driving," Falyn said.
Alyssa didn't skip a beat. "I can do both."
The muscles in Falyn's neck began to tense, and I looked for a sign that would tell us how many miles to Eakins.
"If you think someone is following us, maybe you shouldn't," Falyn said.
The moment the words came out of her mouth, she regretted them. Hollis looked up at her, surprised at her rudeness. Falyn and I had many late-night talks about what we would do if Alyssa wanted to be in Hollis's life again or if he started asking questions. He knew Falyn wasn't his biological mother, but he didn't know more than that, and he certainly had no idea that the cool, gun-toting woman in the driver's seat was the enigma he'd no doubt wondered about his whole life. Falyn didn't really want to keep them from talking, but I knew it had to be hard for her.
"I mean," Falyn said, clearing her throat. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't tell you how to do your job. You know better than me what you're capable of."
"It's fine," Alyssa said, unaffected.
Falyn's apology won her big points with Hollis, and he snuggled up against her again.
Alyssa exited off the highway, and I sat up, trying to see where we were. It definitely wasn't Eakins. She drove three miles, turned down one road, and then another after another three miles, parking in a dirt driveway. She turned off the motor and tossed me the keys.
"Stay put," she said.
"What are we doing?" Tyler asked. "This isn't Eakins."
A red Corolla pulled up behind us, and Alyssa unholstered her side arm. "Hadley. Hollis. Close your eyes and cover your ears."
"What's going on?" Hadley whined.
"Just do it."
She stepped out and walked to the road.
"What the hell?" Ellie said. "I'm uncomfortable with this, I--"
A set of shots rang out, and I threw myself over my family. Tyler did the same. After another set of shots, the only sounds we could hear were the cicadas in the trees, and the crickets in the grass surrounding the van.
The driver's side door opened, and Alyssa climbed back in. She held her hand out to me, and I handed her the keys.
"A little warning would have been nice," I said.
"Did you ... did you shoot the people who were following us?" Hollis asked.
"Well," Alyssa said, starting the van, "to be fair ... they shot at me first." Hollis swallowed, and Alyssa backed out and drove toward the highway. She touched the small black apparatus in her ear. "Clean up on aisle five." She waited for confirmation. "I got tired of waiting on you. Yes. We're three less Carlisis. Three miles west and three miles north." She smiled. "Thank you."
I was worried that as we passed the Corolla, the kids would see a gruesome scene, so I covered their eyes, but each of the victims in the car had their shirts or a newspaper covering their heads. The moment we were out of range, I removed my hands from the kids' eyes, and I patted Hollis's shoulder and kissed the top of Hadley's head.
"Who the fuck are the Carlisis?" Tyler asked.
"You'll have answers when we get to our destination, I promise," Alyssa said.
"Did that just happen?" Falyn asked, breathing hard and holding onto the door. "What the hell is going on?"
I shook my head, unable to answer. I wasn't sure whether to be freaked out that our driver was the one-night stand who gave me full custody of my son, or that it made sense now why she'd done it, considering she was a trained killer, or that the woman I had once spent an entire night banging while she'd yelped like a dying poodle had just killed three people without blinking.
"Thank God Gavin sleeps like me and not you," Ellie said to her husband.
Alyssa navigated the van to the on ramp, and we returned to the highway, gaining speed toward Eakins. Alyssa drove faster than she had since we'd left the airport, and I looked down at the passengers in the cars we passed. They had no idea that we'd just been involved in an execution just a few miles off the highway or that our driver was the executioner. I felt more uneasy the closer we got to Eakins.
"What's your total now?" Hollis asked.
"Hollis!" Falyn shrieked.
"Don't answer that, Alyssa," I said. Falyn craned her neck toward me. That was the first time I'd uttered Alyssa's name in years, and it obviously didn't sit well with my wife. "Agent Davies," I corrected, and then swallowed.
Alyssa chuckled.
"What's funny?" I asked.
"You're just a lot different than I remember."
"Yes, he's sober ... a
nd clothed," Falyn snapped.
"Oh, my God," Tyler said. "Is she ..." he thankfully trailed off, not wanting to drop that bomb on Hollis.
"Holy fuck," Ellie said under her breath.
I sunk back into my seat, reliving the moment I had come clean to Falyn all over again. It was even worse that she didn't blame me since she'd been the one who'd asked for the break. Where Falyn hadn't raked me over the coals, Ellie never missed an opportunity--not only to let me know how shitty it was that I slept with someone days after my girlfriend asked for some time to think but how ridiculous and flat-out gross it was that Falyn blamed herself.
Either way, no one could call it fault because the result was Hollis, and no one wanted to think about what life would be like without him.
I caught Alyssa stealing another glance at Hollis in the rearview mirror.
"Any updates on Tommy?" I asked.
"No," she said, but I could tell she was holding back.
"None?" Ellie asked, suspicious.
"None that I can relay."
"That's messed up," Tyler said.
"That's the way it is." Alyssa shrugged, unapologetic.
We sat in silence the rest of the way to Eakins, but a new energy filled the van when we pulled into the hospital parking lot. Tyler unfastened Gavin, who was finally awake, and Falyn scrambled to open the door. I met her and the kids at the back of the van, anxious to get our luggage and see our family.
Once everyone but Gavin had weighed themselves down with backpacks, bags, and roller luggage, we ran to the hospital entrance and straight for the elevator. I was the last to step in, but then Alyssa stepped in behind me.
Falyn wasn't happy.
"I have to accompany you upstairs," Alyssa explained. "Then you'll be rid of me."
Falyn blinked. "Thank you. For getting us here safe."
Alyssa seemed genuinely touched. She looked down at Hollis and mussed his hair. "My pleasure."
The elevator doors opened to reveal our family standing on the other side.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
TYLER
"YOU MADE IT," Dad said, beckoning me in for a hug. He'd picked up his cane, and I was so happy to see him, I failed to let go of all three roller bags that I'd been lugging around all day as I swung my arms around him. Dad pulled Taylor in too, shaking because he was so happy to see us.
After Dad finally let us go, we took turns hugging Jack and Deana, Trenton, Shepley, and America, and they all hugged the kids.
"Where are the boys and the twins?" Falyn asked.
"All asleep," America said, "in the waiting room with Agent Blevins. We made them pallets on the couches and floor, and then turned out the lights. It's been a long day."
Dad gestured for us to follow him, a pattern of taking a small step, limping, and using his cane for support, and then picking it up and starting over. "This way. Fair warning. Agent Blevins is a giant."
"Bigger than Uncle Travis?" Hadley asked.
Dad hugged Hadley to his side. "Bigger than anyone I've ever seen."
Hadley's eyes widened, and Dad chuckled.
"How's Abby?" I asked.
"Getting close," America said. She smiled, but I caught a spark of worry behind her eyes.
"She's early, isn't she?" Ellie asked.
America nodded. "Seven weeks early. But they decided not to stop her labor."
I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but Ellie and Falyn weren't happy about America's answer.
I knew which room was the waiting room because a dark-skinned giant was standing outside the door. His hands were clasped at his waist. He looked more like secret service than FBI. He spoke, his voice abnormally deep. "The nurse is on the way with more blankets and pillows."
"Th-thank you," Hadley said, stretching her neck to gaze straight up.
Agent Blevins winked at her as she passed by.
Ellie and Falyn ushered the kids into the dim waiting room, followed by a nurse with short blond hair and a Crest smile. She was holding a stack of blankets and pillows, thanking Agent Blevins as he held the door open for her.
"Where's Cami?" Taylor asked.
Trenton glanced at his watch then at Agent Blevins.
"Five minutes out," the giant said, acknowledging Agent Davies with a nod. I was glad he was assigned to the kids. The Maddoxes were almost all together, and even though we were a force to be reckoned with, Agent Blevins was his own army. "Heard you made a pit stop."
"I did," Agent Davies said.
I couldn't stop looking at her. Not because she was beautiful--although she was--but because Hollis looked so much like her. I was curious, wondering how she could carry him for so long and just walk away. Then I thought about how selfless it was of her to offer that to Taylor. Most guys didn't get a choice. She could have just had an abortion, and he would have never known. None of us could imagine a world without Hollis Maddox. He was smart as a whip and way too good-looking and charming for his own good. Knowing his biological mother was a lethal federal agent made perfect sense.
Falyn and Ellie snuck out of the waiting room, and my curious staring ended. I pulled Ellie to my side and kissed her temple. "Gavin went back to sleep?"
"I know," she said. "I can't believe it, either. He must be growing."
"If he grows any more, he'll be in the NFL soon," Dad said.
My chest puffed out. I couldn't help it. He was a good-sized kid. Reminded me of Travis when he was his age. If he didn't slow down, even Agent Blevins would be looking up at him soon. I hugged Ellie tighter. "And Ellie lugged him around all day. I'm surprised her arms didn't fall off."
"I'm used to it," she said.
She was right. Long before Gavin came, she was following around my crew of wildfire hotshots into the mountains to document the fire season for the local magazine, The MountainEar. Not long into her second season, she was lugging equipment miles into the wilderness and onto helicopters like the rest of us. She'd worked so hard to get her life back, and she made sure to appreciate the second chance she'd been given by the Alpine Hotshot Chief to tag along with her camera. She'd had a couple of setbacks, but we'd gotten engaged pretty quick after she got back from rehab and then married not long after. A wedding, living together, and working together were a lot for her to process in one year, but I was glad we didn't give up. It hadn't been perfect, but I wouldn't have traded one moment of my bad days with my wife for good days with anyone else.
It took a long time for her to believe she was ready or deserving to be a mom, but once Gavin arrived, she was a natural. She started staying home full-time when he was born, playing the part of both parents when I was gone on the job.
"Can't wait 'til morning," Dad said. "Travis and Abby's son will be here, Liis will be here with Stella, and all my grandkids will be in one place for the first time in a long time."
"You're sure it's a boy?" I asked.
"That's what Abby said," Dad said with a shrug. "I'm betting she's right."
"I know better than to bet against Abby," Trenton said, glancing at his watch again. He looked at Agent Blevins. "It's been five minutes, boss."
The elevator opened, and Camille stood there with who I assumed was another agent. Trenton jogged over to her, throwing his arms around her middle and lifting her feet off the ground. He planted kisses on her mouth for a full minute, and then they joined us in the hall.
"Here, Dad," Camille said, directing him to sit on one of the benches pushed up against the wall. No arms or back, they were just long seats covered in green, fake leather, sitting on silver legs.
Dad sat, his belly covering half his thighs. He was wearing a jacket over his pajama shirt, slacks, and suede moccasins. He looked tired but happy.
Just as we all found a seat, a doctor rounded the corner and paused at our sheer number. Even with the kids and Shepley's parents asleep in the waiting room, we were a good-sized group.
He was bald with a white goatee and in decent shape for his age. His round glasses made him look
more hippie and less doctor, and I liked that about him. "Good morning. Baby's fine. Mom's fine. We'll be moving the baby to NICU here shortly to observe him, but he's strong. Dr. Finn, the pediatrician, doesn't believe he'll need anything more than some supplementary oxygen, but she's keeping an eye on him. The nurses will be wheeling him down the hall soon. You can catch a glimpse of him then."
"They're taking him from Abby?" America asked.
The doctor smiled, patient with the barrage of questions. "All babies under thirty-five weeks go to the NICU. Mom and Dad can visit as soon as we evaluate and get him hooked up to the good stuff."
"How big is he?" Falyn asked.
"I think they said five pounds, five ounces," the doctor said, smiling when everyone gasped. "A good size, considering."
"Thank you," Dad said.
The doctor nodded, in a hurry to get home and get some sleep before what was likely a full day of prenatal appointments. A group of nurses and a doctor wheeled past with an incubator, pausing when they saw us down the hall. America jumped up first, followed by Shepley, and then the rest of us. Camille and Trenton stayed behind, helping Jim to his feet and walking with him down the hall.
We oohed and ahhed over Travis's youngest son.
"He looks just like Travis!" America said, her eyes filling with tears.
"I don't know," Dad said. "I see that stubborn chin sticking out."
"You're right," America said. "That's definitely Abby's chin."
"Hang in there, little guy," Trenton said, holding tight to his wife.
I wondered what it was like for Trenton and Camille to see us one by one, as we all had our second and third child, and they were still trying. I knew they were happy for Travis and Abby--I could see it on their faces--but I could also see a longing; an ache that wouldn't go away until they had one of their own.
The nurses wheeled him down the hall, and everyone but America returned to our uncomfortable bench seats. I smiled when I saw Travis tap America on the shoulder, and she threw her arms around him and cried happy tears. They talked for a moment, and then he walked her down to where we sat.
I stood up, shaking his hand a couple of times before giving him a hug. "Congratulations. He's a good lookin' boy."
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