Laughing triumphantly, I did a bow.
"How are you so successful? You're a fucking child!"
"I tend to act like an adult at work. Mostly. What's the point in life if you can't have a little fun?"
"What's he done?" Logan asked, walking towards us from the bar. Chloe was on the end of his arm, both smiling like moronic idiots.
"He made an old lady uncomfortable in the lift by letching over me."
I held my hands up. "She didn't need to watch."
Nell pointed her finger. "You didn't need to do it." The humour in her eyes gave her away. She wasn't mad. She was probably annoyed that she didn't think to do it herself.
Chloe laughed and pulled Nell's arm, linking it through hers. "Let's go see this hotel!"
The girls skipped off pointing things out and playing what shit would go where. Logan and I trailed behind bored stiff.
"We could just go to the bar and neither of them would notice," I said as we waited at the entrance of one of the rooms they could have the reception in.
"Tempting but the second I leave she'll fucking notice. Women have this...gift for noticing the shit we screw up on and not a lot else."
"You're right there. Apparently everything is my fault, even the things that aren't. Like yesterday for instance, it's my fault that we only got one Breakfast tea bag each but two Earl Grey. Please tell my how that's my screw-up?"
"Oh, it is," he replied.
"What? Whose side are you on?"
Logan tipped his head to the side. "You've got a cock, it'll always be your fault and the sooner you accept that and learn to nod and repress, the happier you'll be."
"Well, it's a good thing Nell and I aren't in a relationship."
He raised a light eyebrow. "Of course, that would be ridiculous."
"Fuck off."
Laughing, he shrugged one shoulder. "Damon, just make it official, yeah."
He made it sound so easy. You didn't just do something with Nell, unless it was purely physical and made your eyes roll back into your head. The girl was complicated personified and I didn't fully understand why.
"I would. She wouldn't."
"She would, she just needs to stop being scared."
"Hey, if you have any suggestions on how to do that..."
He smiled apologetically.
"That's what I thought. I don't know, if she's going to be with someone I like to think I'm the one she'd let in but whether she will or not anytime soon is anyone's guess."
"Sorry, man."
I shrugged it off but it did bother me, more and more each day.
"If it helps sometimes people need more time than others. Not everyone's path is perfect and straightforward. Look at me and Chlo, I loved her for years before she started feeling the same way and even then it took her months to be okay with it. For whatever reason Nell just needs time."
"I just wish I knew the reason. You knew with Chloe, which must've made it easier to understand. All I've got is a stubborn woman that drives me insane."
"That'll never change! It did help; especially since I'd been through the same things as her, but waiting to see if she'd ever come around and be cool with us was excruciating."
Excruciating. Yes. That hit the nail on the head. For so long I'd been repressing my feelings for her and what it was doing to me, because being with her wasn't an option. But I could only bury what I felt for so long and now...
"I don't know."
I had a feeling eventually things between us would blow up and that'd be it. Even knowing that, I still couldn't walk away before it turned to shit. I was committed to seeing it through, no matter what the outcome would be. If there was a slither of hope I was staying until I knew otherwise.
"Have faith, man."
That was all I had. There was a chance, albeit a miniscule one. Maybe I could get through to her, help her overcome or face whatever she was hiding.
"How long do you think they'll be doing that for?" I asked, moving on from my failure to properly connect with Nell on any real level. They both looked crayon eating special, holding their arms out to the length of what I assumed were tables and other shit that'd be needed in the reception room.
Logan laughed and took out his phone. "A little while longer I hope. How dead do you think I'd be if I posted these online?"
I watched him take a couple photos.
"Really dead and divorced before you're even married."
"Damn," he said, raising both eyebrows. "Guess these are just for us."
"Nell," I called as they went to the far end of the grand room. No less than six chandeliers hung from the ceiling and tall windows made the most of the view of the acres of land.
Shit, what do I want her for?
She walked towards me with a content smile. Her green eyes softened the closer she got. Logan made himself scarce and headed over to Chloe. "Yeah?"
When she reached me she stepped into my embrace and looked up.
"I'm bored," I said.
"You called me over to tell me you're bored?"
No, I called her over to have her over.
"Yes."
Rolling her eyes she stood taller and kissed me. I felt everything, every brush of her lips, every time she dug her nails into my back and pulled me closer a fraction, and every lick of her tongue.
Moaning, I curled my fingers into her hair and deepened the kiss. If we weren't in public I would've pushed her against the wall and slid my hand up her top.
Clamping my arms around her back, I pinned her body against mine and sucked her bottom lip into my mouth. I couldn't get enough. Nell gasped and slid her tongue against mine, massaging slowly and clawing at my back.
I loved her. I fucking love her!
"Nell," I moaned.
Her heart pounded against my chest at the same insane rate as my own. How could she not see we belonged together? No matter what we had to go through to get there it would be worth it. I needed her to realise that soon.
"Err, guys," Logan said in amusement.
Scowling, I parted from Nell and glared up at them. "What?" I snapped.
"I think we're done here if you want to...you know," Chloe said, winking.
Nell turned in my arms but kept her body plastered to mine. "Go shopping! Absolutely, I need to get gifts for my parents."
"Sorry?" I said, my arms tightening around her. Let that be a joke, please.
"Good luck, Damon," Logan said, laughing. "We're off to meet with the wedding planner, catch ya later."
"You honestly want to shop right now?"
She nodded. "I thought tomorrow we could chill so I want to get it over with today."
"Ah, like the walk around with the happy couple?"
"Yep. I have plans for you tomorrow."
"I like the sound of that. Let's get this over with then," I replied, letting go, taking her hand and pulling her out of the room.
We walked up a steep hill, following the directions Nell insisted on getting from the hotel staff. I continued to hold her hand, never knowing how that was going to go down. She didn't look at me as I threaded my fingers between hers but she did look on, smiling so peacefully it made me ache.
There was always something she held back, a part of herself that she would never truly open. Even when she laughed so much she could barely breathe she was still holding back. But now, fuck me, now she was free and I wanted to stay here forever if this was what being away did for her.
"Do you know what you want to get them?" I asked.
"Nope, something tacky that says Scotland on it. Maybe a crap fridge magnet or that dog they all seem to love."
"Alright, looks like there are a couple souvenir shops ahead, I'm sure we'll find tacky there."
"Cool, then you can buy me a KFC, I starving."
I pulled her hand, making her step closer and kissed the top of her head. I was in love with the perfect woman and I was determined to enjoy the next day with her - in bed.
Nell
Holding
my paper bag filled with tacky Scotland gifts for my parents, I let myself into their house. We'd all made it home on the flimsy little plane safely and I'd promised my parents I'd visit the day I got back.
Chloe and Logan had jumped in and booked their wedding after falling in love with the hotel. I was really pleased they had because the place now held amazing memories for me. I felt so close to Damon it hurt. I told myself over and over it was because we were away, kind of like a holiday romance.
Things were back to normal now and the distance was painful. It wasn't supposed to bloody hurt. I ached to be that close to him again. I wanted to lie in his arms and just kiss for ages. I wanted to hold his hand that fraction tighter than usual.
Taking a deep breath, I swallowed the hollow feeling in my heart and called, "Mum, Dad!"
"Living room, Nell," Mum replied.
I turned the old-fashioned silver ball door handle and almost dropped the bag on the floor. Mum was curled up on the sofa with mascara running down her face. I froze. "Mum, what happened? Where's Dad?"
"He left."
"What? Where did he go? Tell me what happened."
I put the bag on the coffee table as I walked past and sat down in front of her, tucking my legs under.
"He lost his job again."
"Another one? What went wrong this time?"
"Apparently it's all their fault."
It always was. He would flit from job to job depending on what he wanted to do next. I couldn't fault him for wanting to find if there was something out there he was passionate about but Mum couldn't support them both on her low salary alone.
She took a sip of her vinegar smelling white wine. Drinking on her own. My mum was the classiest chick. To be fair though, she wasn't a big drinker at all. The odd bottle of wine was saved for the many, many times she and Dad broke up.
Clenching my teeth, I took the glass off her. "Mum, put that down and talk to me."
"I don't know what to say, Nell. I can't get through to him, it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes." The familiarity kicked me in the stomach. I put the glass down before I dropped it. "Work wouldn't let him take extra holiday, on top of what he's entitled to, so he quit," she said, throwing her arms up in the air. "Just like that. Like we don't have bills to pay."
"Is that why you're so upset? Did you... Did you...argue?"
"When he came home early, he tried telling me he had a half day. As if I can't read the signs by now. I knew, so I confronted him. He gave me the usual drivel about how I never support him and if I was going to constantly be on his back he'd leave."
"And you told him to leave."
Their arguments never changed. They may occasionally be about different things other than Dad's jobs and money but the cycle was the same.
"Bloody right I did. I'm not asking for mansions and diamonds, Nell, but if we're a partnership, I expect him to pull his weight and do what's best for us both."
And here we go, time to start slagging each other off.
"You're right, Mum, but you know how he is. I don't see how you can continue complaining about something you know is going to repeat itself." Growing up with my parents had taught me that you have no place moaning about something you're not willing to change. Or at least try to change.
"I thought we were trying," she said, getting defensive.
I felt like bashing my head against a wall until I drew blood. Actually every single conversation I've had with her about his was like doing exactly that. My weekend in Scotland made me feel like I was floating but thanks to my parents I'd fallen right back down to the ground with an almighty crash.
"When did he leave?"
"Friday."
"Why didn't you mention it when I spoke to you?"
"You were going away, I didn't want to spoil your weekend."
I would've fainted if I wasn't sitting down. Not once in my life had she ever not bitched Dad out because she thought it would taint anything in my life. They both usually let rip without a care in the world, not giving a shit what it did to me to hear them say such horrible things about the other.
"Oh," I replied. This was new territory and I wasn't sure how to handle it. Did I thank her? Tell her not to be silly? "Have you spoken to him since?"
"I tried calling this morning but he cut me off. I just don't know what he's thinking but I know I've had enough."
Right, it wasn't like I'd heard that a thousand times before.
"Enough of your dad's drama though, tell me about Scotland. Did Chloe and Logan like the castle? Bit fancy, hey?"
I was ready to change the subject too, it was giving me a headache. "They loved it. The room they'll get married in isn't that fancy really. It's gorgeous and they're happy."
"Well, that's all that matters in the end. All I got was a rush wedding in a register office."
Smiling tightly, I nodded. Surely the where didn't matter? And she fucking said yes! "Yeah, I'm looking forward to their big day."
"What about that boy you went with. Damon?"
"What about him?"
"Are we going to get to meet him soon?"
Absolutely no way. I clamped my mouth closed so I wouldn't laugh in her face. My family was definition of dysfunctional and I didn't want anyone to see that. Pigs would fly and hell would freeze over before I brought him back to meet my parents.
"Probably not, Mum, we're not together."
"I don't see why not."
If she looked in the mirror she would understand.
Shrugging, I shifted my legs and reach over for the bag I'd brought with me. "I'm young still. I have plenty of time to settle down. Here, this is for you."
She took the bag with a smile on her face. "You didn't have to get me anything. All I want is you home safe and sound."
"One of them is for Dad but you can choose which one you want."
She tipped the magnets onto her hand and laughed. How she was genuinely pleased with a shitty fridge magnet I had no idea. "Thank you, hunny, I'll take the man in the kilt." I thought she might, it was blowing up with the wind. You couldn't see anything decent though.
"You're welcome. Hey, do you want me to go? You look tired."
She put the magnet down on the cushion in front of her. When she looked down the dark circles under her eyes became more prominent. "No, of course not. I'm alright, just haven't had much sleep over the last two nights."
"Are you sure, Mum? I'm worried about you. What are you going to do about Dad?"
"Oh, I don't know."
I did, so I wasn't sure why I even asked the question.
Mum made me dinner and brightened up a little when we got into the kitchen. I started to see a little of how she was without Dad. That version of her wasn't perfect either, but when she wasn't slagging him off she was a million times better than when they were together.
I left early evening and went home, waiting for the inevitable text to say Dad was home and all was well. By the time I pulled into my drive I had a message. Only it wasn't from Mum and it was one that put a smile on my face. Damon: I'm randy as fuck, talk dirty to me.
Bugger off I'm busy, I replied with a huge grin on my face.
The following day, after a full day at work I was ready to collapse. Since the weekend when everything was as close to perfect as I was ever going to get, being bossed around by a jumped up prick and his pervert son, sent me spiralling into one of the worst moods.
But I'd made it through the day and kicked my shoes off as I walked towards my bedroom, discarding clothes along the way. I got halfway there and was in my skirt and spaghetti-strap base layer top when the doorbell went.
Of course I knew who it was. We had plans to meet up tonight but I thought it'd be later when I had a chance to change and neck a glass of something.
I'd missed him like crazy so I raced to the door, even though his timing was shit.
"You cannot be here right now!" I said, swinging the door open and holding him outside with a palm to the centre of his chest.
He gripped my wrist. "Why not?"
"Because you've given me no time at all. I've just got in and haven't even showered."
That was absolutely the wrong thing to say. His eyes lit on fire. "I can help you with that."
"Damon..."
"It's the perfect solution to both our problems."
I glared. "How?"
"You'll get washed and I'll get inside you," he said and released my wrist, trailing his hand down my stomach. "It's been ages."
"It's been twenty-four hours."
"Exactly. Ages."
He stepped forwards, over the threshold and because I refused to move, his body pressed against mine. We were chest to chest, both breathing a touch heavier because of the contact. My heart thumped against my chest and my lips parted.
I wanted him to kiss me. I ached for his touch.
"So, are you going to let me in?" He asked.
"Looks like you're already in to me."
He arched his eyebrow. "You'd know it if I was in."
I gulped. Yes I would.
"Damon," I whispered emotionally and closed my eyes. "Please just take me."
With my eyes shut all I could do was smell his aftershave and hear the sound of his breath. It did things to me that were so intense I thought my heart was going to implode.
After an agonising minute, I looked up. His eyes turned fierce as he watched me for a few seconds. Then he scooped me up in his arms, carried me to my room and did everything I asked. For a while I was whole again.
Nell
I sat on my sofa under a blanket watching in amusement as Chloe paced back and forth across my small living room. She was panicking. The wedding that they were so excited about, and she'd talked about constantly, was in less than two months.
"You're going to wear a hole in my carpet," I said, laughing as she stopped on the spot and glared.
"Chlo, you'll be fine. You have a venue and have contacted someone to marry you. Nothing else matters, not really."
She pouted. "I know but..."
"But you want to be a princess for a day?"
"Yeah." Sighing, she sat down. "Does that make me a bad person?"
I shook my head. "Of course not. This is yours and Logan's day and you can have what you like. As long as I get free wine I'm cool."
Laughing, she threw a cushion at me and flopped back. "I'm spending fifteen thousand pounds of Logan's savings, Nell. It's his inheritance and I'm terrified he won't like it." A few months ago Logan's great uncle died and because he had no children he left the money to Logan's mum and her children.
Our Chance Page 9