by Skyla Madi
I nudge him playfully with my shoulder. “Why? Don’t want to get your man card revoked?”
“Something like that.” He laughs, but it fizzles out as his attention falls to my lips.
I moisten the lower one with my tongue, and flashes hot enough to rival hellfire tear down my spine, making me ache all over. This isn’t good. It feels good…but it’s wrong.
“I shouldn’t be here,” I say on exhale, my heart racing, the friction of it causing heat to rise up my throat and settle in my cheeks. I force myself to look at Caleb and, like always, I see things in his lively green irises I have no business seeing. “I shouldn’t be here drinking with you.”
Nick returns home tomorrow morning, and it’s back to keeping my guard up to protect myself from the very first lie I told him when I claimed I didn’t know Caleb from a bar of soap.
“I’m not good company to have?”
“You’re the worst company to have right now.” I glance at his full lips, lips that were carved by Lucifer himself, expertly molded to give the most perfect kisses and deliver the naughtiest whispers.
He leans closer, a slight teasing smirk on his lips, daring me to taste them. Tingles pulse in waves, heightening every nerve in my body. They dance up my spine, wrapping themselves around each vertebra until they reach my hairline at the top of my neck.
“Oh, boy,” I murmur, snagging the inside of my lower lip between my teeth where he can’t see.
How can I face Nick knowing I’ve already crossed the line of being unfaithful? I’ve emotionally betrayed him. I have to grow a pair and break up with him. It’s not fair to him to drag this on. He deserves a faithful girl, at least. One that’s everything he wants already and doesn’t have to change. He deserves a girl who isn’t hung up on an ex-boyfriend and goes out to dinner with him. Nick and I have a fight and the first thing I do is reach for Caleb? How is that fair to either of them? Maybe I need to move out and away from them both and give myself time to pull my life together.
“We really should get going.”
Caleb nods, pulling away from me to gather the cups on the tray. “Wait for me by the door? I’ll return these to the bar so Jeanette doesn’t have to.”
I grab my coat and my handbag. “That’s nice of you.”
Shimmying out of the booth, I shrug on my coat, button it up, pull my handbag high on my shoulder, and walk toward the exit. There’s a small gathering of thirty-something-year-old men to the right of the exit, sitting on barstools, hunching over the table and their beers. They laugh and occasionally explode with loud conversation. Uneasiness builds inside me when I realize I have to walk awfully close to their table to get out of here. I’d take the restaurant entrance if they hadn’t locked it. I lower my head as I close the distance, not making eye contact with any of them. If living in New York has taught me one thing, it’s that a girl like me has no business being out and about at this hour by herself. Most nights I manage to make it home from the restaurant unbothered, but some nights I worry I won’t make it at all. Any minute now, Caleb will catch up and I can continue unbothered.
“Well, hello there.” Pulled from my thoughts, I startle and whip my head to the right, slowing my walk. One of the men has left his stool and quickly closes the distance between us. He swipes at his long, bronze beard and adjusts his baggy, tartan flannel. His heavy boots thud along the ground before he comes to a stop, angling his body to block my path. Dread swirls in my stomach. “Your fingers will fall off if you go out there.”
I glance at my bare hands, and my apprehension eases. That’s all he wants? To tell me my hands will get cold? “Oh.” I force a smile. “I have gloves in my bag. Thank you.”
I attempt to step around him, but he leans his body, shifting his weight onto his left jean-clad leg, blocking me again. “It’s icy. Gloves won’t help. I’ve got a place you can put ’em to keep ’em warm.”
I grimace, and his friends snicker, watching us in amusement.
“No, that’s okay.” I hate that my voice is timid and quiet, but the last thing I need is to start a scene. There’s a least five of them all together. “My gloves work just fine.”
I pull open my handbag and reach for my black gloves that sit under my phone, only to have my hand snatched away and enclosed by his. The man’s hands are cold and clammy, and a thick, harsh scent of cigarette wafts off him, forcing my face to pinch in disgust.
“Matt!” one of his friends call. “Leave the little girl alone, would you?”
Matt ignores him.
“Don’t leave yet,” he slurs, swaying a little. “Have a drink with me.”
I glance around for Caleb or Jeanette or a security guard even, but my view of the bar is hidden by a large frame advertising Benny’s new cocktail and burger deal.
“No, thank you.” I try to tug my hand free, but he doesn’t release. “I have to go. I have to get home.”
“We’ll take you home. Make sure you get there safe.”
Somehow, I doubt that. I shake my head.
“Hey!” We both snap our heads to the right to see Caleb surging toward us.
Relief and trepidation clash in the pit of my stomach. Again, I try to pull my hand free, but the stranger only tightens his grip, a confused look on his face.
“Ooh, you’re in trouble, Matt,” one of his friends chuckles from the table. “You’ll get banned from here again if you don’t cut it out.”
I squeak as Caleb snags my arm and tugs me into him. Thankfully, the stranger releases me and I don’t become the rope in a game of tug-of-war. Caleb tucks me behind his back, away from the man’s drunken leer.
“You like having hands, asshole?” Caleb booms, sending adrenaline shooting through me. “Touch her again and I’ll drag your ass out and cut them off, understand?”
“Caleb,” I whisper, clenching my churning stomach, wishing he’d leave it alone. “Let’s go.”
“All right. Relax, pal.” Matt laughs, stepping toward Caleb. Matt’s taller than him, but Caleb is wider, probably stronger too. “I was just having a bit of fun.”
“Fun?” Caleb bites out a vicious laugh and squares is shoulders. “Wanna know what I find fun?”
He grabs the man by the scruff of his flannel, and I startle, clasping my hands against my chest. Swearing, Matt’s friends lift themselves out their seats, but Caleb doesn’t care. Growling, he throws Matt against the glass door. I gasp, covering my mouth with my hands as his lanky body slams into the door, forcing it open, and he rolls out into the cold street.
“Caleb,” I whisper, shivering as the icy air outside blows in.
“Put your gloves on,” he orders, eyeing up the guy’s friends, but they don’t look like they want any trouble. In fact, a few of them shake their heads at me apologetically. “It’s cold out.”
I do as I’m told and slip into my gloves. Caleb wraps his hand around my waist and escorts me out the door. Once outside, he steps in front of me, shielding me from the man who’s struggling to get his footing on the sidewalk.
After a few long seconds, he stabilizes himself and pins us with a glare. “That’s what you like to do for fun?”
“No.” Caleb steps forward and, without warning, slams his fist into the man’s face, knocking him on his ass.
The sound is deafening and gross, sending a sick shiver down my spine.
“Caleb!” I shout, almost losing my balance.
“You’re a psycho!” the man whines, clenching his face.
Caleb towers over the stranger, who looks a lot smaller now he’s lying on his back in the street, then crouches beside him. I almost feel bad for him. If only he took no for an answer and kept his hands to himself. What would I have done if I were alone tonight?
Looking to the left, Caleb reaches out and scoops a handful of snow that wasn’t there earlier with his bare hands. “You should ice it.”
He dumps the slush on the stranger’s face and straightens his legs. Matt furiously brushes off as much snow as he can and rolls on
to his side. Caleb pays him no more attention and stalks toward me. Taking my gloved hand in his icy one, he leads me away.
Behind us, Matt’s friends exit the building and laugh at him, calling him an idiot for not listening. I sneak a glance over my shoulder as they help him off the sidewalk and return to the establishment.
Well…I look back to Caleb.
…shit.
Chapter Six
C A L E B
I feel her pretty eyes on me as we walk, and it’s unnerving. I pull on the neck of my hoodie, growing more and more uncomfortable in it. The cold New York air pierces its fabric and the fabric of my shirt, chilling my skin. Shit. I left my coat at the restaurant. I slide my teeth together. I’d go get it, but I’m not taking her back there. Not tonight.
We cross the empty road our apartment complex is situated on and she’s still looking at me. Normally, I love it when she looks at me, but after what went down, it’s making me anxious. Is she judging me? Did I ruin our night together? I’ve never lost control like that in front of her before. I usually play the sarcastic smartass, but that guy pushed all the wrong buttons tonight. He’s lucky she was there or…there’s no telling how far I would’ve gone.
“Will you stop staring at me?”
“I’m sorry. I just…I wasn’t expecting that.”
I peer at her. “Yeah. Me either.”
“Well, I mean, you’re built for it, I suppose, but…” She scratches her head. “You’re a church boy. I didn’t expect you to actually throw down.”
My eyebrows shoot up. A church boy? Is she serious? “You know me better than that, Cassia.”
She snorts. “Obviously, I don’t know you at all. I didn’t know you could—or would—ever hit someone like that.”
I shrug. “Didn’t have a choice.”
“Really?”
Yes. If I let it slide, it would’ve turned into a bigger mess. If I were a push over, who knows what that guy and his friends would’ve done? Where the hell was the security guard? Aren’t all bars supposed to have one?
“I didn’t have a choice,” I tell her. “Nick would’ve done the same thing, right?”
Now it’s her turn to shrug. “We’ve never really been in a situation where he’s had to. He’s not one to get aggressive in public.” She flicks her pink hair over her shoulder. “I could be wrong, like I was about you. Maybe he can hold his own too.”
I simper. I doubt it, but a part of me craves to find out.
Cassia and I enter the complex and walk right up to her door without saying another word. I stand beside her in the silent, dim hallway as she digs around in her bag for her key. When she finds it, she smiles up at me, and my heart splits in two at the thought of going our separate ways. We had a breakthrough tonight—I felt it deep in my soul. She wants to come back to me. I know she does. Cassia was smiling at me all night, laughing at me. Her beautiful, big eyes sparkled every time I opened my mouth and became hooded when I flirted with her.
“Thank you for tonight. I had a really nice time and…” She chews her lip, then releases. “It put a lot of things into perspective for me.”
A tiny flicker of hope ignites in my chest. “Perspective?”
“What I said to you last night wasn’t…it was…” She blows frustrated air from her nose. “I know I can’t go on like this, that I have some decisions to make.” Her blue eyes glisten with tears, a light sheen that doesn’t quite pool at the bottom. She grits her teeth, warring with whatever is going on inside her, then releases. “I’m a horrible person. I’ve treated you terribly, and I’ve dragged Nick along for nothing.” I flinch as a tear drops to her cheek, and she angrily swats it away. “And now I’m crying? Like I’m a victim? I’m a weak, pathetic excuse for a—”
“Cassia,” I cut in, screwing up my face as she wipes away her tears. “You’re twenty-one. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
She might think I revel in seeing her in such a conflicted state, but I don’t. I don’t want her to be stressed, or sad, or hurt. I just want her. If I wanted to crush her relationship with Nick and make him hate her, I could. I could’ve crushed what they have the second he came onto the landing weeks ago and she lied to his face about who I was. I have photos of her on my phone, photos before the tattoo, the piercing, and the pink hair, back when the only man I had to take her from was her father.
“I don’t disgust you?”
“You could be married with ten kids and I’d still be here trying to win you back.”
She laughs and sniffles at the same time. “That’s just sad.”
“I don’t care.” I step closer to her and reach out, holding her gloved hand by her side. The touch is simple, yet it calms the chaos inside me, and anxiety releases its grip. “Maybe that makes me a horrible person, but you know what? Nick’s going to move on and find someone else, but I can’t. You’re it for me. It’s you or no one, and I’m tired of having no one.”
She peers up at me, doe-eyed. “I don’t know what to do. I’m confused and scared.”
I could do it for her. I’d love nothing more than to crush Nick’s soul and stomp all over his heart as payback for every pang of guilt, jealousy, and rage I’ve felt since moving next door to them. But this is something Cassia has to do on her own.
“I’m scared too,” I tell her, my voice low so only she can hear it. “I’m scared I’ll never get to kiss you again. I’m scared the next time we speak, you’ll tell me you’re engaged or pregnant. I hate waking up every morning knowing someone else is one step closer to the future I want for myself.”
Her eyes are piercing, her cheeks painted with the subtlest blush. She drops her stare to my chest and swallows hard before locking eyes with me again. “Do you mean it? You want all of that? With me?”
I cup her face, brushing my thumbs over her perfectly highlighted cheekbones. “Only you.”
Cassia’s pouty lips part, exposing a sliver of her perfect white teeth, reminding me of the painting I completed today, minus the lingering swell of a passionate kiss. There’s so much interest in my painting that Bree is having it duplicated and put on her site as a regular print. I hate that so many people are going to have Cassia’s pretty mouth in their homes and offices, but I relish in the fact they’ll never know how good her lips feel, how sweet they taste. They’ll never know the mouth they gaze upon every day saved a man from drowning in a desolate and bottomless pit of sin and…nothingness.
Cassia’s gaze flickers over my face, her breaths short and deep, before settling on my mouth. “Caleb…”
Her tone is husky and needy, exactly how I remember it. Leaning in, I brush my nose against hers. I revel in contentment as it washes over me. I haven’t felt this calm since she left. Like always, with her here, I feel like, for once, the universe is on my side, that the sky is no longer falling.
I blow out a gentle exhale, fighting against powerful urges to take what I want from her. She likes it when I take, but tonight, I need her to give. If she gives, then I know this is real. I know I’m what she wants, not Nick. Not anyone else. “Tell me what you want.”
Cassia closes her eyes. “I want to kiss you, but I know it’s not the right thing to do.”
“Kiss me,” I tell her, tightening my grip on her face. “Kiss me as a promise you’ll be mine, no matter how long it takes, and I’ll wait.”
She rakes her teeth over her bottom lip, and her eyes fill with turmoil and uncertainty. “And if I don’t kiss you?”
My lips quirk. She’s clever, my girl. “You know I’m yours either way.”
“I can’t kiss you. Not yet.”
I lean forward, easing her against her door. Nick made a mistake leaving her here for me. Tonight was all I needed to recapture her heart.
“How about I kiss you? I’ll shoulder the guilt.” I slip my thigh between her legs, making her breath hitch in her throat. Excitement zips down my spine, and I can’t fucking breathe. “Let me enjoy you, just this once, until you’re mine again. Nick doesn’
t have to know.”
I tip my chin a little, brushing my lips against hers, rubbing fresh sins into my pores. I shouldn’t want it. I shouldn’t trap her like this, but being so close to her makes me feel alive.
Human.
My heart pounds through my ribs, and I’m relieved it’s working the way it should.
“Caleb,” Cassia says my name, and it’s abrupt, full of panic, so I soothe her by pressing my mouth to hers.
To feel her, finally, after all this time, sucks all the air from my lungs. Kissing her is an instant taste of the high I’ve been missing, a fucking painful reminder of how good we are together. A husky groan vibrates my chest, and she opens her mouth with a gentle gasp. I jolt at the sound and take advantage of it by slipping my tongue inside, taking her. Tasting her. Sexual energy exudes from her pores and zips along my skin to pool between my legs, making my jeans grow tighter. My cock throbs painfully, remembering what she does to it and how good it feels. I press my hips against her, making her feel everything she does to me. Pulling away, she braces her hands on my chest and pushes against me.
“Wait…” she whispers, pinning me with a lusty, hooded stare as she licks her lips “It’s not…it’s not right.”
“Then you need to make it right,” I tell her, releasing her face to adjust her hair. God. I love the pink. It’s sexy. It suits her. “Dig deep, find your big girl voice, and use it. Preferably sooner rather than later because I need you. I need you so fucking much.”
She opens her mouth, then closes it again as the sound of a lock being turned from the inside of Cassia’s apartment clicks throughout the hall. Her blue eyes widen, and she shoves me back.
Shit.
I manage to rectify my balance as she turns away and the front door is pulled open. What the fuck? I can’t help the scowl when Nick greets us with his unwanted presence and I curse under my breath. When did he get home?
*Cassia*
My body goes rigid, my skin ignites as a panicked heat floods me, and my heart slams into my ribs a million miles a minute. How loud were we talking? Did Nick hear us through the door? Nausea punches me hard in the gut, and I brace for his rage. To my surprise, he beams at me, and there’s no malice to its broad curve.