by Liza James
This was never meant to be him.
“Good.” He launches forward until his lips crash against my own. I’m far too surprised to do anything but take it, and when his teeth bite into my lower lip and I cry out in a pain, he doesn’t let up. He pulls back barely and says, “You’re a fucking waste.” His lips move against mine again, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth while he claims me. I arch my back against his hold and my fingers grasp onto his arms as he moves against my body.
This is it, the connection. Our Fated union annihilating our distance and transforming it into something powerful. I should have known that not even the Kano could fight something like this and win. He rips back my humanity, bringing it to the forefront of my mind when I thought it was all but entirely gone.
When I’m hopeless, he finds the few shreds I have left and forces me to hold onto them.
I know he hates me. I know it, but not even he can fight what this feels like. He’s giving into this, surrendering to our connection just as much as I am.
“Fuck,” he breathes against me and his kiss turns into something softer, something gentler while just as needy and all-consuming. “Millie.” He whispers my name all over again and every single time he says it, something new breaks free inside of me and I cling to the pieces he’s slowly putting together.
This could be us. We could get back here.
His hands move up my back, until one slides forward and wraps around my throat again. But instead of choking me, he simply holds me there, forcing me to watch his eyes while they move between my gaze. His eyebrows pull together in confusion, and tears slip free and coat my cheeks. I can’t hide it anymore, I can’t fight like this. I’m far too weak and yet all too ignited at the same time while we’re together. He isn’t used to this though, this vulnerability.
I understand that, I haven’t shown it in years. I haven’t challenged my own Demons in decades.
I want to tell him how I’m feeling, explain to him what happened with Nya all of those years ago. But just before I speak, the searing pain of his claws rips through the skin of my neck as he cuts through me.
“You will never be anything to me, Amelia.” His eyes explode in darkness while I gasp at the excruciating pain through my flesh. My knees immediately buckle and I fall to the ground while he kneels ahead of me. I try to scream, but he’s sliced so deeply that I can’t even manage to release the sound from my lips. “No matter what this feels like. No matter what bond we unfortunately share. I’ll always want you dead.”
The metallic taste of blood slips over my tongue and stains my lips. It falls over my chin and my vision begins turning black at the edges.
I knew this. I knew this. I knew this.
Stupid little girl. This is what you deserve. This is what you get when you destroy everything around you.
“I know,” I choke out, but the words mean nothing. They sound like nothing. They’re wisps of snow in the wind, silent little echos that Leon doesn’t even care to hear in his blood. His eyes remain black while I collapse on the ground and he hovers over the top of me. His hands fall to my ribs and when I think he’s going to break them, his touch turns gentle and slow while he holds me.
His eyes clear again, and they move across my body so quickly that I fail to notice the tears falling down his cheeks. But he doesn’t move to heal me, even though he knows he could. I know he can. We’re Fated, our blood can save each other’s.
How ironic, really. How our bond also destroys in the same breath it can save.
Suddenly, Stella and Luna are dropping to my sides, but Leon shoves them back so quickly I can hardly hear the words they are saying. It’s muffled, but the drugs in my system flare in the dying breaths I’m struggling to hold onto.
“Finally,” Stella bites out, her hands yanking back at Leon’s shoulders while she continues speaking. “You finally fucking killed her. We’re rid of her.” Her eyes are wide, terror and tears stain her face and I find it funny because her actions don’t match the words she’s speaking at all.
“We hated you. All of us did.” Luna’s next, her hands grip my arm while she attempts pulling me upright. But Leon snaps her direction, screaming something at her until she falls back in the snow. “You’ve always been worthless.”
So many tears and yet so many harsh words. An opposing blend of toxic hatred and panicked actions. A smile spreads across my lips because this is everything I always imagined. This is every moment my mother warned me about. This is the exact reason I fought so fiercely against mixed breeds and Demons.
I’ve never had anyone.
I’ve always been alone.
My eyes rise to the sky and focus on the tiny flakes of snow that have begun falling around us. If I look hard enough, I can’t even hear the awful reminders of everyone around me. I can’t even feel their anger or hatred anymore, I don’t have enough oxygen for that.
I can’t breathe.
Blood stains the ground around me, warming my skin and pooling over my chest. So, when the only person who could ever surprise me in this, hovers over my face and enters my vision, I frantically attempt gasping in order to hold on for a few more minutes.
“Millie.” Her voice is soft. My name on her lips is the only thing that keeps me present in this moment. “Don’t let go.” Her wild, black wavy hair hangs around her face as she watches me. Her lips are pulled tight across her face while her bright green eyes rake over my wounds. She looks up, meeting the eyes of Leon as he scrambles back and away from us.
But only for a moment, and then he’s launching forward again and his hand snaps around the nape of the only girl who’s ever meant anything to either of us.
Nya.
Nya.
He’s saying something, but I can no longer hear it. Her hand reaches up and gently grasps his wrist, running her thumb along his skin until she pulls out of his hold. He can’t believe what he’s seeing, I can feel it pulsing through our bond in confusion and misunderstanding.
It’s okay though, neither can I. I only see Nya in my drug induced hazes, never in my reality. That’s always the fucking problem.
Before I can comprehend how this hallucination is taking place, Nya’s arms slide under my shoulders and legs as she pulls me against her. She stands up, cradling me in her arms while every ounce of strength leaves my body. I’m almost gone as it is, but somehow, being this close to both Nya and Leon has released some kind of renewed force inside of me.
I can hold on for a little bit longer now.
Nya turns us away and towards the forest, walking us farther into its depths while Leon races behind us. He’s completely transformed back into his human self, relinquishing any hold he had on his Incubus form while we fought.
“You don’t get to have her now,” Nya’s voice speaks steadily while she stares straight ahead. I rest my head against her shoulder and my eyes slowly drift shut and then reopen while Leon hovers over the both of us. He’s screaming, words I can’t even understand while he’s like this.
He’s falling apart. I can feel it. And while I wish I could help him, I know how he feels about me.
How they all feel about me.
I should have never tried to keep them. That hope I held on to has been extinguished. I know the truth now, and while this supposed dream of Nya may be taking me straight to Hell, at least I know where I stand amongst the others.
I have no one. And I never will.
Acknowledgements
This little story. Wow, it was supposed to be a fun, short, not-christmasy-christmas story for you guys. It was intended to be happy, to allow me the time to revisit Ruby and Aura and the Fated characters while my head tries to figure out which voices to tell next.
It wasn’t supposed to be this.
It wasn’t supposed to be painful.
Nya wasn’t supposed to show herself. But she showed up, when she was needed and honestly, I felt that so incredibly hard that I cried while writing that scene.
Because people do that,
you know? Show up when you need them. Not always, I’m not saying that. Hell, often times, people disappear when you need them most.
But sometimes, when you’re at the end of your rope, when you’re tired and afraid and drowning. When there’s nothing left to hold on to, someone unexpected shows up and takes your hand, speaks the words you needed to hear, and reminds you that you aren’t alone.
You are not alone.
Do you need me to say that again? I will. You aren’t alone. Even though it may feel like that, even though you don’t think you have anyone left in your corner, even though you worry that you care far more than anyone else.
You’re not alone.
I’m saying that as much to myself as I am to you. I promise.
So, I’ve quite a few thank you’s to throw in here.
First and foremost, always. My girl, KV Rose. You listen to every single fucking complaint I have about these characters. Every frustration, every worry, every agonizing scene I maybe don’t want to write, and every scene I can’t get enough of—you take the brunt of it all because you showed up when I needed you, and you’ve stayed ever since. You’ll always mean everything to me. I love you.
Amy—THE QUEEN. You edit all of my shit and make it magical. You slap me in the head with heavy words, and you remind me that sometimes, the things I find poetic are actually awkward and uncalled for. You make me a better writer and you’re always helping me to become the best author I can be. I appreciate you more than anything.
Ashlee. You are the graphics master. God, you put up with SO MUCH FROM ME. I AM SORRY, OKAY? I AM. But I love you so much, and I so appreciate all of the late hours and squeeze in’s you give me when I voice memo you at 1AM with seven new stories I want pretty inspiration for.
Vanessa and Abby. My PA’s. You both are so important, as friends and helpers. You both keep me on my schedule, help me through panic sessions of covers and ideas, take every wild new thought and help me turn it into a reality. You both have become such bright experiences in a place that I was cautious to go through. Thank you both, you guys mean everything to me.
Cult Sluts. The. Ultimate. Street Team. Do you guys know how much you mean to me? Every post, every share, every comment, every message, every connection. Everything you guys do, I notice. Because there is absolutely NOTHING that compares to having such a strong tribe of women standing behind you and helping you every step of the way. Nothing would be possible without you guys. My stories need you, my characters need you, and I love you all so very very much.
Readers. You make my dream a reality. You take these pages and words build them into actual visions inside of your head. These characters are real, these worlds are powerful, and you make that possible. I am so incredibly thankful to each and every one of you.
Thank you, times a million. Thank you thank you thank you.
Also by Liza James
Ruby and Aura’s Story
Vibe (Dark FF Contemporary Romance)
Paranormal Dark Romance
Fated (Fated Series Book One)
Descent (Fated Series Book Two)