Janie shook her head. “No. But I may end up dead because of her. And I’m worried that if I do...Erynn will end up dead because of me. I needed to come here, needed to make sure she had all the information so she could find him, make him stop.”
“No one’s going to let you be killed,” Noah said.
“It’s not a promise you can make, I’m afraid.”
“Why don’t you tell us what you came to say and then let us do our best?”
He watched the woman consider. Waited.
And wondered why someone would be after Erynn.
TWO
If she could go back, if she could undo the last near decade of silence, Erynn would do it. But she’d always believed life should be lived looking forward, not backward.
Too bad that’s not how you’ve been living.
She listened to Noah question Janie, listened to Janie’s explanations, while she ran through the list of possible suspects in her mind, knowing her chances of landing on one that stuck weren’t good since the Anchorage Police Department and the State Troopers had tried back then.
Come up empty.
And then her father had been killed. An Anchorage police officer, he’d been investigating the Foster Kid Murders...the killings they’d thought had claimed the lives of three other victims at the time. Five total. Erynn had worried the murderer had claimed Janie’s life, as well.
Erynn blinked, tried to focus on the present and the conversation, reminded herself that she wasn’t to blame for her father’s death. Mack Cooper had been investigating the case even before he’d adopted her, which was why the Anchorage Police Department hadn’t considered his involvement a conflict of interest. He’d adopted her later, and had told her that were it not for the serial killer case, he and his wife might never have looked into adopting from foster care. They’d wanted her, they’d both emphasized that over and over, and in her heart, Erynn knew that her dad wouldn’t have gone back and changed a thing. Still, guilt stabbed deep. He had given his life to protect her, for those like her. It packed a punch, even this many years later.
And Erynn missed him.
She listened to their voices, tried to distract herself from the flood of emotions threatening to wash over her. They’d gone quiet after Noah had asked Janie what she’d come to tell them. Waited as Janie considered whether she was ready to.
“I was living in Kenai three years ago when I got a message from a friend in Anchorage. Michelle Holt.”
Erynn knew who she meant. She’d known Michelle even less than she’d known Janie, but she remembered the two of them being close back in high school.
She glanced at Noah, feeling for once that his eyes weren’t on her. He had been looking at her strangely since he’d come in; she guessed she didn’t blame him. She was far from her usual self today. Right now, though, his gaze was on Janie and he was waiting for her to continue, not asking anything.
A smart move. She’d have done the same in his shoes. He was handling this well. She should have known he would.
Well, up until he found out the full truth about Erynn. No one knew how he’d handle that.
“The message said she was in danger. She’d been working in Seward for the summer and I knew she needed my help. I went to Seward, found her before he did.”
“He?”
“I’m getting there. Please don’t interrupt.
“I managed to find her first and we talked. She told me he was after her, that he’d left her messages, talked about finding the rest of the kids from his list—though we were adults by that time—and finishing what he’d started.”
Erynn could have thrown up. Probably would have if there had been a trash can within reach. Instead she took a deep breath and willed her stomach and the rest of her to hold it together. She’d known what it probably meant when Janie had walked in. But she hadn’t been sure.
Turned out knowing in this case was much, much worse than not knowing.
“What list?” Noah asked. Erynn felt every muscle tense, tried to do one of the breathing exercises she’d learned years back.
Erynn felt Janie’s eyes on her. Refused to meet her look as Janie continued, “Someone was killing foster kids.”
“When?”
“Years ago,” Janie continued. “Then he stopped. Went silent and I guess we let our guard down. That’s when he came after me and Michelle. I never heard from her, after she warned me. I suspect she’s the one the media referred to as the Ice Maiden. The one you thought was me.”
Noah was nodding, a quick glance at him confirmed. Erynn looked away before he could see her staring.
Janie continued. “I told her we should call the police, but she reminded me that it would just put them in danger. At least one officer was killed investigating the case when it was making news and hot. I’m not sure if the police ever said his death was related, but those of us the Foster Kid Killer was after, we knew.”
Her dad. Erynn stood. Left the room to be sick. She could not hear Janie’s words from where she was in the bathroom. She’d have more questions from Noah to answer. But she’d not be able to help it.
Her forehead was hot and her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Breathe in, breathe out, she reminded herself as she’d had to do in the days after her father’s death when it had all seemed like too much. She reached for the sink knob, turned on the cold water and splashed her face.
Breathed in. Breathed out. And walked back into the lobby, not sure she was ready to hear anything else. But knowing she couldn’t hide forever.
This had proven that.
“What else can you tell me about the killer?”
“He...” Janie trailed off. “There’s not much I know, to be honest, just suspicions. Speculations. I always wondered if he’d met us personally. Maybe it always feels personal when someone is after you and your friends. But I wondered.”
“Have you seen him? Anything you know, we could use as a solid lead.”
“No.”
“We’ll need to put you in protective custody,” Noah was saying even as Janie shook her head.
Erynn had known she would. That’s the kind of woman Janie was. Once her mind was made up, there’d be no changing it.
“I’m going back home now. I just thought you should know.”
Could they keep her? Charge her with something that would allow them to keep her safe? Even as the thoughts surfaced, Erynn shrugged them off. It was still a free country and if Janie didn’t want protection, they didn’t need to give it to her.
Noah spoke again. “Then we’re officially charging you with obstruction of justice and you can come with me to the Moose Haven jail.”
If she’d been able to feel even a smidgen more lighthearted, Erynn would have laughed. The Moose Haven jail was no more than two cells in the back of the police department, Wild West style, that the department had gotten built cheap.
Still, it would work for what they needed, would do the job.
“Are you arresting Erynn, also?”
Erynn looked at Noah, met his eyes. Knew she owed him answers.
“Not at this time.”
She needed to talk to him tonight.
“For now, come with me, please.”
* * *
Noah had left over half an hour ago, had practically growled at her to “stay put.” She had, quite literally, and hadn’t moved from her desk.
Janie.
Her dad.
This couldn’t be happening.
Erynn laid her head in her hands, snapped it up again as she realized all the implications. They had Janie in custody because it was dangerous for her otherwise. What Erynn had realized but not fully felt the weight of until now was that if someone was after her old acquaintance...had killed another one of her former friends, if Janie was right and Michelle was the Ice Maiden...
&nbs
p; She wasn’t safe, either.
She stood and walked to the window, put a hand on the flimsy mini-blinds as she looked out at the town of Moose Haven. She’d thought the assignment here years ago had worked out well. It was close enough to civilization to suit her—she wasn’t a “live in the Alaskan bush” kind of girl, but it was far enough from Anchorage to make her believe she could get away from the demons, both real and imagined, chasing her.
But she hadn’t gotten away. Not really. Erynn closed the blinds, moved back to the hallway and headed toward the front to close the other blinds. And lock the door. Noah could call or knock when he got there. She checked her watch. Her shift was over in ten minutes. Trooper Miller, a new transfer fresh out of the academy, should be in to relieve her at any minute.
The door opened just then and Miller walked in. “Whoa, you don’t look so good.”
The kid had barely met the minimum age requirement for the troopers—at least, that was Erynn’s guess. He made her feel light-years old and, at just barely thirty, she didn’t appreciate it.
“Not feeling so great, to be honest.”
“Go ahead and head out. I’ve got this.”
“I’ll wait till it’s officially time.” Miller was a decent kid so far, and Erynn trusted him, but he wasn’t the stickler for protocol that older officers she’d worked with had been. Good for some situations, not that she’d admit that on the record, but bad for others.
Noah still hadn’t showed by the time she was ready to head home. Erynn hesitated half a second at the door then shook her head and went outside. She’d been a State Trooper for years. She’d taken self-defense courses, had a sidearm on her right side concealed under her windbreaker right now.
She wasn’t technically in any more danger than she had been for years. She had known she’d never truly be safe.
Not until the Ice Maiden Killer—who, it seemed, was also the Foster Kid Killer—was in custody.
“What are you doing?”
Noah’s voice was hard as she came around the corner of the building and almost ran into him.
“I can’t stay here all night.” Not that she’d sleep at home. Maybe she should stay here, sleep on the office couch, but it would invite too many questions. Her job was one of the only things she had left, was the most important part of her life. She couldn’t lose it, too.
“I told you to stay put.”
Maybe it was the coldness in his voice. Maybe it was the fact that the day had had more surprises than she could handle on the amount of sleep she was running on currently, but she’d lost all her patience.
“You aren’t in charge of me, Noah. I’m an adult and make my own decisions.”
“I want to hear more about why she’d say you’d obstructed justice. And why you didn’t deny a word of it.”
She turned to him, mouth open, but nothing came out. She didn’t know what she wanted to say anyway, just couldn’t believe he was looking at her that way.
Like she was guilty of something.
Her shoulders fell. At the very least, she could assure him that wasn’t the case—though, yes, it would have been better for her to have spoken up three years ago when the Ice Maiden case had come across their desks. She could have told him that she’d worried that Janie’s “death” had been the work of the Foster Kid Killer, as Janie dying accidentally when so many people she’d known had been killed had seemed too coincidental to her. But when the other officers had ruled it an accidental death, something far too common in the Alaskan wilderness, she’d hoped it was true. Thought maybe she was paranoid. Hadn’t wanted to believe they were all wrong and she was right.
It had been murder.
But she hadn’t obstructed justice. She’d just...stayed quiet. Erynn rubbed a hand across her forehead, winced against the throbbing of her building headache. She’d wanted so badly to be free from the fear, that entire chapter of her life, that she’d ignored the coincidence it would have been that a former foster kid she’d known had ended up dead.
She exhaled. “Okay. Where do you want to go?”
“My house.”
She nodded. “I’ll follow you there.”
“No. You can ride with me.”
She didn’t have the energy to argue.
* * *
Noah did not have anything to say on their drive. What was there to say? “Hi, I’m Noah Dawson. Who are you really?” He’d known the woman for five years and she’d never once mentioned a connection to a serial killer case in Anchorage, or the fact that her life was ever in danger at all. She’d acted like a Moose Haven native, hanging out at the diner, doing the polar plunge into the bay in January, but she had secrets.
He’d never even imagined that. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much.
He turned down the gravel drive to his place, stealing a glance at Erynn as he parked the car.
She was just looking out the window. Silent and more serious than he’d ever seen her. Wasn’t she the one always telling him to loosen up? Calm down? She’d been a steadying influence more than once, but now he felt like he didn’t even know this woman next to him.
“Erynn?” He finally broke the silence after they’d been sitting for a full minute and she still hadn’t moved.
“I’m sorry.” She unbuckled, turned to him when he didn’t move. “Are you ready?”
Was he? He didn’t know. “Just waiting for you.”
True in more ways than she knew.
She pushed her door open. He did the same, stood to follow her to his front door, eyes open and scanning—he didn’t think she faced danger but better safe than—
Erynn stopped.
Noah did the same. Seeing nothing. “What is it?”
“On your porch. What’s that on the table?”
He squinted. The sun was still high in the sky even at this time of evening, due to Alaska’s midnight sun, and the rays were in his eyes. He didn’t see what had her so riled.
Noah stepped forward. There it was. A piece of paper?
Part of him rebelled against the idea that she could be spooked by pieces of paper. That wasn’t the woman he knew. And this was Moose Haven. He’d worked quite a few crimes here, but the town as a whole was still sort of an Alaskan coastal Mayberry. It felt wrong for her to be so on edge here.
Still, before his brother, Tyler, had gotten married, someone had been after his future wife, Emma. Tyler had been able to reassure Emma that she was safe and Emma had trusted him.
Erynn knew too much to be that easily reassured. A threat could come out of nowhere. And if she was acting like this, there was a reason.
God, help me listen when she’s ready to talk. And help me know what to do. He prayed in his head, even as he started toward Erynn. He wasn’t going to be able to do this on his own. “Stay with me. We’ll go check it out together.”
She swallowed hard but offered him a small smile. At least he’d said the right thing this time.
He fought the urge to reach for her hand, settling instead for a hand on her back as he guided her along. Perfectly platonic. Not at all over the firm boundaries of their friendship and history as coworkers.
Again, nothing like his brother had been through. Or his sisters, for that matter. His siblings had found love amid danger, but Noah had long since given up on that for himself.
Because the only woman he was interested in had walls around her heart a mile high and he’d long ago realized that if he wanted to keep her as a friend he needed to respect those restrictions.
“It’s a note,” he said as they got closer to the table.
She reached for it.
“Don’t.”
She stopped at the sound of his voice, speared him with a look. “What are we going to do, call the police? We are the police, Noah.”
“I am. You’re a trooper. I believe you’ve been pretty cl
ear about that a few times.” He couldn’t resist teasing her. Moose Haven treated its police officers well, but Alaska state troopers were proud of their title, their elite standing in the law enforcement world.
She made a face and, despite the tension in the air, despite the fact that Noah was looking over his shoulder—their shoulders—every few seconds, it felt good to know that whatever else was going on now, they still had a friendship. Or he thought they did.
Erynn reached for the paper, paused and looked at him.
“Same paper.”
“As what?”
She shook her head.
“I’m going to need the pieces I’m missing, Erynn, or I can’t help.”
He watched her face as emotions chased across it. She had never been good at hiding her feelings, except in work circumstances, and then she’d managed.
Erynn said, “It’s the same paper the serial killer Janie mentioned left with all of his victims. Thick, cream stationery. The blue ink is nothing special, your general economy pens available at any store. The paper comes from a special company, but they went out of business fifty years ago. Someone’s got a stockpile of the stuff and it’s impossible to trace.”
She paused. His mind spun in circles, trying to think through everything she’d just said.
After a moment Erynn reached forward again, picked up the stationery.
She’s mine. You’re next. And then it’s over.
Noah managed to read the words before she dropped the paper, watched as it fluttered to the table. She was back to looking pale again. He needed to get her inside, to feed her, to hear what was going on so he didn’t feel like he was always a couple of steps behind.
Wait. He grabbed up the note. “‘She’s mine’? He’s talking about—”
“Janie.” Erynn ran back to the car. “We have to get Janie out of the jail.” Noah followed her.
“She’s there to keep her safe, Erynn. There are officers in the building. She’s fine.”
“She’s not fine, Noah, trust me.”
She’d asked him to trust her once. To keep the Ice Maiden case open, against the advice of every other law enforcement officer involved.
Alaskan Christmas Cold Case Page 2