by Niyah Moore
* * *
Meek stood outside the door as I walked into Nasim’s hotel suite. Jazz music was playing, and I could smell his cologne. I didn’t know why that gave me the chills, but it did. The tequila had me feeling sexy as fuck. When I took a good look at Nasim, I realized that he looked a little different. He had decided to grow a beard, which had becoming popular with men ever since Rick Ross and James Harden had started rocking one. I loved Luxury’s, and Nasim’s beard looked just as sexy.
“You like jazz?” I asked, with a slight frown on my face. I was so used to trap music playing all the time that jazz sounded foreign to me.
“Yeah, I do.” He reached out for a hug. I went into his arms so smoothly. When he squeezed me, I felt like I was melting into him. “It’s mad good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too,” I replied, feeling hot as we parted.
“You want something to drink?” he asked but then laughed when he saw the bottle of Patrón sitting in my purse.
“I brought what I was drinking already. You want some?” I took the bottle out of my purse.
“I’ll have a few shots with you,” he said with a smile.
“Hell yeah.”
He walked over to the wet bar and retrieved two plastic cups that were wrapped individually. He took them out of the wrappers and held them out to me. I set my purse down on the couch and poured a little Patrón into each cup.
“Cheers to a great show,” he said, holding up his cup.
“Cheers,” I replied, allowing my cup to touch his.
We tossed back our shots.
After he swallowed, he made a face, as if the tequila was nasty. “No chaser?” he asked. “Whew.”
“Nope. I never have chasers with Patrón. Ice would be nice, though.”
“I can go get some,” he said, then paused because I was staring at him while biting my lower lip.
He looked me up and down as I admired his new fade and his sexy new beard. There had been high sexual tension between us from the moment I walked through that door. I cleared my throat, because I could feel myself blushing, and my panties were getting wet by just looking at him. The expression on his face let me know that he felt exactly what I was feeling. We were both feeling the same thing. He reached for my hand to pull me back to him, but I stepped back a little.
His eyes were still on me. He stared at me as if I was the dopest chick he’d ever seen. It could’ve been the Patrón that had me so turned on or the fact that I was ready to escape from the pressure Luxury always put on me to be perfect. I didn’t know for sure. Luxury had been driving me to do music without giving me any real time to grieve Mina or my father. He hadn’t even given me enough time to get used to our rushed marriage. I was in one of the most romantic cities of the world without him, and I was alone with a very sexy man to whom I was sexually attracted.
Nasim seized the moment and kissed me. With his lips on mine, I opened my mouth, eager to feel his tongue. I indulged in his kiss for a little while before I moved my hands to the back of his neck. The passion between us was so intense, I didn’t want to part. His tongue teased my tongue, and I sucked his bottom lip. We kissed just that way, sucking each other’s mouths, making our tongues twirl. He was such a good kisser that he took Luxury out of my thoughts.
Eventually, we pulled away from one another and tried to catch our breaths. However, his hands remained around me. As he bit his lower lip and stared down at me, I could feel his hands sliding up my dress.
“Wait,” I started to protest. “I don’t want you to think this is why I came to your hotel room.”
“Of course I don’t think that. You came to catch up, didn’t you?”
I nodded and tugged his beard for him to kiss me again. He lifted my dress over my head. With Luxury in the farthest place of my mind, I allowed Nasim to carry me to the couch. Without hesitation, he kissed and licked my inner thighs and made a trail up to my neck. He stopped to take off his clothes, leaving on his boxers. I was amazed at how good his body looked naked, all lean and sculptured. I was waiting for him to drop his boxers so I could see what he was working with.
“You got a condom?” I asked, feeling excitement fill me.
I was finally doing something without Luxury’s say in the matter. For a brief moment, I wanted to feel independent again, even if that meant cheating on my husband.
He nodded his head. “I got one in my wallet.” He bent down and picked up his pants. He took his wallet out of a back pocket, opened it, and revealed a gold wrapper. I knew what a Magnum meant. I hoped he wasn’t the type to walk around with Magnums in his pocket even though they didn’t fit him.
I bit my lower lip while I waited for him to put it on. As soon as he dropped his boxers, I got to see that he was more than qualified to wear the condom. Once it was on, he wasted no time giving me the deepest kisses. Right there on that couch, he twisted my body in ways I didn’t know it could be bent. Every time he entered me, I felt as if I was going to scream. All my pent-up aggression was released, and he felt more than good. He felt amazing.
* * *
I woke up to Nasim’s light-skinned arm lying across my breasts. Our night together came crashing down like a tidal wave. I sat up, removed his arm, careful not to wake him. He was on his stomach, sleeping peacefully.
Bitch, you just cheated on your nigga, I shouted in my head. You cheated.
Luxury was good to me, so what did I do? I felt guilty, but there was something between Nasim and me that was undeniable and special, one of a kind.
My head was throbbing. It felt like a balloon being inflated slowly. The hangover from the Patrón had me squinting at him. Nasim was handsome, and I could see myself being with someone like him. Well, that was if I were single.
I groaned, and the guilt of letting him do all those naughty things to my body consumed me. This thing with Nasim had happened so fast, and he had fucked me too good. If I had to compare him and Luxury, I would have to say Luxury fucked like a beast and Nasim made love like he was a vampire, sucking my soul dry. I shook my head, trying to shake the sexy images out of my throbbing head, but it didn’t work.
You’re such a fucking ho. Bitch, get the fuck out of here.
I eased out of his bed and quietly gathered my panties, dress, and shoes. I almost tripped while trying to put my panties back on and fell on the bed.
“You just gone dip without saying bye?” he asked.
I looked over my shoulder, and he was sitting up in the bed, looking so motherfucking fine.
“Um . . .” I exhaled. “I figured I would leave since Egypt is probably worried about me. I left Meek at the door.”
He frowned and got out of the bed, naked. He took my dress and shoes out of my hands and tossed them back on the floor. Pulling me toward the bed, he stared into my eyes. “Don’t feel bad about this. I know y’all got married, and that’s mad cool, but how do you really feel about being out here without him?”
“I’m fine. Luxury has business to take care of with the label. Stuff has been just skyrocketing.”
“I get that, but it ain’t shit that he can’t do from a virtual office, and that will allow him to travel with you. I’m just saying. If you were my wife, you wouldn’t be nowhere without me. Ain’t he the boss? I don’t know any bosses who can’t call their own shots. Feel me?”
“So, what you saying? You think he’s cheating? What you hear?”
“Nothing. I don’t check for Luxury. Trust. I just know men ’cause I’m a man. He’s in the industry. Tell me you don’t have doubts.”
I shrugged. Nasim was hitting the nail on the head, and I was almost mad at him, but I knew why he was saying it. He didn’t want me to feel guilty about anything.
“Nasim, I had a good time with you last night, but we can’t do this again.”
“I know. That’s why I’m trying to hold on to you for as long as I can. I know you gotta go. I won’t make this harder for you than it already is. Just promise me you won’t let him
dog you out.”
I nodded. “I won’t.”
He licked his lips before he planted the deepest kiss on mine. I felt like kissing him for the rest of the day, but I couldn’t. I was already convincing myself that I could never see Nasim again.
When I walked out of the hotel room, I started to apologize to Meek, but then I realized he had gone. I didn’t blame him, because I wouldn’t wait outside no door overnight like that.
“Shit,” I said underneath my breath, because I was sure he had to tell Egypt or Luxury about leaving me.
I caught an Uber back to my hotel. As soon as I reached my door, Egypt came out of her room across the hall.
“I’ve been calling and texting you. Meek said he left you at the Novotel Hotel with some dude. Tell me you’re not fucking around on Luxury.”
“I’m not fucking around on Luxury.” I left it at that. “I’m back now, so we’re good.” I walked inside my room, and she walked in behind me before the door could close.
“Glad you’re safe. We got a flight to catch, and we don’t have a lot of time. Promise me you won’t ever do that again. I was worried. I must always know who you are with. Who is this guy you went to see?”
“Don’t trip, Egypt. I’m fine. I had a few drinks and passed out.”
She nodded slowly and said, “Okay. Okay. I’ll be back in thirty so we can check out. We’re flying to Spain. Oh, and call your husband. I didn’t answer his calls, because I didn’t know what to tell him. You know he’s mean as hell sometimes.”
She walked out of my room, and I sat on the bed, sighing. I should’ve called Luxury back, but I was thinking about being up under Nasim all night. My emotions took over, and it felt like my mind was transporting me to a place I shouldn’t go back to.
23
LUXURY
Overcoming Fear
Three days later ...
I still couldn’t believe I had got on a plane to fly to Barcelona. The flight felt like it was the longest nine hours of my life. I did everything I could to take my mind off the possibility of the plane crashing into the sea. I couldn’t wait to get off that plane.
Egypt had told me to get my ass there to be with Desire as soon as possible, because my girl needed me. I was willing to put my fear to the test because that was how much I loved her. Although fear traveled through my veins as I sat in that airplane seat, no one around me could tell, because I played it so cool. As soon as I was off that plane, I felt relieved. I had made it. I felt like kissing the ground.
I had to do what I had to do to see my baby. I missed her too much. All that FaceTime shit wasn’t going to cut it. I should’ve never let her travel without me, but I hadn’t wanted her to see me scared like this. Air travel was the one thing in life that scared me. I had made Egypt promise not to tell Desire that I was coming to see her, in case my fear stopped me from getting on the plane.
The limo pulled up to the restaurant where Egypt said they would be dining. I hopped out with my backpack. I hadn’t traveled with a huge piece of luggage, because I couldn’t stay long in Europe due to a few shows my brothers had to do. But it was better to spend a little time with Desire than no time.
“Do you need a table, or do you have a reservation?” asked the young woman at the front.
“Neither. My wife and a friend are here.”
“Oh, yes. They’re right this way. Follow me.”
I followed her to the back of the restaurant, to a table near the wall-length aquarium. Desire had her back to me and was sipping hot tea, but Egypt saw me walking up. She didn’t say a word, and she pretended not to see me.
“I’m homesick already, and I don’t know how I’m going to make it for three long weeks,” Desire said to Egypt. “These shows are good money, but it’s like, ‘Damn, I need a fucking break.’ Plus, when is Luxury coming? I feel like he’s giving me the runaround. I’m sick of his shit.”
“You sure you sick of my shit?” I asked.
She turned around, her eyes wide with surprise. She stood up and leaned into my arms, and I embraced her. Her fragrance sent chills down my spine. I was glad to be there. This moment made that painful flight worth it.
“I missed you so much,” I mumbled into her neck.
“I missed you too, baby.” She caressed my neck and then the waves in my hair.
I took a good look at her. She looked like she had some heavy shit on her mind, like she wanted to spill her thoughts to me. I sat in her seat, then pulled her down to sit on my lap.
“What’s good, baby?” I asked her. “You either about to tell me some bad shit or you got some good shit. Spit it out.”
“Why you assume I got something to tell you? I’m simply happy to see you,” she said.
“Because, first, I know my wife. Something is up, so tell me.”
She smiled before she kissed me. Her hands trailed down my chest slowly. She knew that drove me crazy. “I’m just missing you, is all. It’s been so long.”
“Three days is long?” I asked with a chuckle.
“That’s too long.”
We kissed again.
Egypt cleared her throat. “Excuse me, lovebirds. I hope y’all not about to have sex right here. There are rooms for that.”
“Is the hotel nearby?” I asked.
“Right across the street,” Desire whispered in my ear.
“What we waiting for?”
She stood up and pulled me by my hand out of the restaurant, leaving Egypt to eat alone.
* * *
We nearly broke the bed with our rough sex. Desire put it on me, and I had to give it to her. The sex was so good, I felt we should do this distance thing again. Afterward, she fell fast asleep, snoring and all. She had seemed exhausted earlier. About an hour later, her phone, on silent, started vibrating. I wasn’t the type to go through phones, so I wasn’t about to start now. I went into my backpack and pulled my weed from a secret compartment. I needed a blunt before going to sleep.
My cell rang just then, and it was Egypt.
“What’s up, E?” I asked when I picked up.
“Is Desire sleeping?”
“Yeah, she’s knocked out.”
“Okay, I was just calling to tell her that her promo shoot was pushed back until later tomorrow, so she can rest. I know she needs it.”
“A’ight, I’ll tell her,” I said. “Hey, Nia and Lala will be here in the morning.”
“Yeah, Nia called me. You sure you don’t need them for the boys’ shows?”
“Nah, they’re good. Desire needs more of y’all to keep her company.”
“Okay.”
I ended the call.
Desire stirred in bed and groaned. “Egypt keeps calling. I can’t get no kinds of rest.”
“She said your shoot got pushed back until later tomorrow.”
“Yesss.”
“Nia and Lala will be here in the morning.”
“I heard. That’s cool.”
I went to the bed and cupped her face in my hands. I pressed my lips against hers. As our kiss deepened, she pulled me down on the bed.
“Babe, we just had sex,” I said, pulling away. “I need to smoke.”
“And I want to do it again. Round two. What you wanna do?” Her hands were untying the string of my sweats.
“You missed this dick, huh?”
“Shut up. You gotta make up for the time we lost.”
I smacked her ass hard on each cheek. My phone rang again. I started to answer it.
“No, don’t answer it,” she whined.
I pulled away from her, in case it was Charity calling about my son or my mama, anybody. I saw that it was indeed Charity, so I answered. “Hello?”
“Li’l Tyriq needs diapers and some formula,” Charity said.
“What happened to the money I just gave you?” I asked.
“What you mean? I had to get my hair and nails done, and I needed some clothes. That li’l-ass piece of change wasn’t enough.”
The pit of my st
omach instantly started burning. “Bitch, what the fuck you say? You spent my son’s money on yourself and then gone ask me for some more money for diapers?”
“Don’t come at me like that, Luxury! You don’t know how hard it is to have a baby by yourself. Shit, I needed to do something nice for myself for a change. You gone give me the dough or not?”
I gritted my teeth. “I’ll be back tomorrow, so I’ll drop it off then.” I hung up.
“You leaving tomorrow?” Desire asked with a frown.
“Tonight actually.”
“Wait, so you came here to fuck me and leave?”
“It’s not like that. I have business to handle. Don’t get upset. I’d rather see you when I can than not at all.”
“The fuck? You know this is hard for me, being alone. I don’t have nobody but you, Luxury. Nobody. Baby, look, all I’m saying is that you make me feel loved, and when you’re gone, I feel so alone.”
“Baby, you’re not alone. We’re married now. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. This is all a part of the industry. You don’t think there are days when Jay and Bey can’t be by one another’s side? This shit is gonna be tough, and you gotta be strong if this is what you want to do.”
“What if I don’t want to rap anymore?”
“Don’t say that. You’re doing the damn thing right now.”
“You got enough money to take care of us. I don’t need this shit.”
“I do have enough, but it’s always good to have your own shine, baby. Now, as soon as I’m done smoking this blunt, let’s go eat.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “This is a no smoking room, so you gotta take that shit outside.” She got out of the bed and went into the bathroom, then slammed the door behind her.
I already knew she would be mad at me for leaving so soon, but in the end, this would all pay off.
* * *
Desirae made sure that I wound up missing my late-night flight. I had to catch one early the next morning, after arguing with her about leaving. The trip back was horrible. The turbulence made me feel like I would never, ever fly overseas again. I didn’t care. I wasn’t going back to Europe. As soon as I got home in Miami, I went straight to Charity’s apartment to drop off the money.