by Niyah Moore
Then I thought about it. This nigga was full of shit. He wasn’t afraid of flying over water. That was an excuse so he wouldn’t have to be here. I bet if Lavish and Frill were on an international tour, his ass would be right there with them. He acted like he was their fucking babysitter, anyway. I was more than pissed off, and Nasim was precisely what I needed to take my mind off Luxury’s bullshit.
After opening the door for me, Nasim sat down on the couch, leaned back, and flipped through the channels to see if anything interesting was on. “I’m looking for a good movie,” he said. “What you want to watch?”
I stared at him until he looked up at me.
“What’s up, Desire?” he asked, looking at me with those piercing hazel eyes.
“I really hate bringing this nigga up. Like, you know, I am happy you accepted my invitation to join me.” I walked over to him and straddled his lap. “But this nigga said he has a fear of flying over water. He didn’t mean to tell me, but he did.”
“So, that’s his excuse for not being here?”
“Yup. Crazy.”
“Yo, he might really have a fear. Well, I’m glad you invited me,” he said while grazing his juicy lips against the crease of my neck.
I moaned and leaned into Nasim’s kisses. “Mmm.”
He grunted softly to let me know that he was enjoying my lips just as much as I was enjoying his. His tongue became entangled with mine, and it felt like we were two longtime lovers. I slid my hands down his chest, feeling the muscles there. My hands stopped when I reached his joggers.
“Take what you want, shawty,” he demanded assertively.
My hands eased their way inside his joggers and took hold of him. My hands moved up and down, feeling him get harder.
“You see what you do to me?” he asked in the sexiest voice ever.
“Yeah,” I said, losing my breath from the excitement of stroking him.
He lifted me up from the couch and turned me over, unbuttoned my jeans, and took them off. His hands roamed all over my thighs. After grabbing my hips, he pulled me close, and his dick poked against my lace panties.
“Why are you so fine?” he asked.
I moved my panties to the side so he could get inside me. This thing with Nasim had just evolved into whatever it was we were doing. He didn’t care about Luxury, and at that moment, I didn’t, either. This was about pleasure and comfort, and I was glad he could be there for me.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. We froze. Who was at the door?
“You brought your bodyguard?” he asked.
“No. I gave him the night off,” I replied, feeling puzzled. I prayed I hadn’t been followed.
He walked to the door, his stiff dick leading the way. “Who is it?” he asked once he had his ear up to the door.
“Room service.”
“Damn. I forgot I ordered us some food,” Nasim said. “Toss me my pants.”
I picked up his joggers and threw them at him. He caught them in midair and put them on fast before opening the door. The room-service man tried to wheel the cart inside the room, but Nasim took it from him.
“Thanks, man. I got it.” Nasim pushed the cart inside before tipping the man and closing the door.
“What you get?”
“Just some buffalo wings and cheese fries. Nothing fancy.”
“That sounds good. I am hungry.”
“Hold up,” he said with a naughty grin on his face. “You see how hard I am right now? That food can wait.”
He came over to where I was sitting on the couch, lifted me up, and carried me to the bed. Nothing could stop this attraction. Like flies drawn to a barbecue picnic, we couldn’t deny what we felt for each other. Without a condom, the pleasure I felt was unreal. In the back of my mind, I made a mental note to get Plan B first thing in the morning.
After our steamy romp, he caressed my arm as we lay in bed. “How do I make you feel, Desire?” he asked, staring deeply into my eyes. “I can’t seem to get enough of you.”
“The feeling is very mutual. I wish we’d met sooner.”
“Yeah?”
“I wish I had met you before I got with him,” I confessed.
“Things happened the way they were supposed to. You love him?”
“I love him, but I don’t know what’s going on with us. Everything was good before I came out here. This distance is killing what we have.”
He gave my lips a good kiss. When our lips parted, he said, “Yet distance has lit a fire under what we have . . . I’m trying to keep my feelings at bay. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the week, and then, after that, let’s see how things go between you two. I’m not going anywhere. No matter if you stay with him, I’ll always be here.”
“I appreciate that. Ever since my best friend was murdered, I’ve felt so alone, you know.”
“Your best friend was murdered? What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I sat up and looked into his eyes. “She and I used to dance at the Queen of Diamonds. Her and her nigga were into all kinds of shit, so I don’t really know all the details, but they were gunned down right in front of the club. It was really fucked up.” I paused to stop myself from choking up. Just thinking about it had me ready to cry.
He frowned. “Wait . . . That was your best friend?”
“Yeah, we grew up together. My only friend in the world.”
He closed his eyes and groaned. “Yo, um . . .”
“What?”
Sitting up, he rubbed the top of his head. “This is crazy.”
“Why?”
He thought for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry. Yo, I heard about it on the news.”
“I think it’s fucked up that nobody knows who did it. I hope they find the muthafucka before I do.”
“I hear you. Look, I can only imagine the pain you’re in. That’s even more reason for Luxury to be here for you right now.”
“Exactly. I used to be so carefree and independent. I never needed a man to do anything for me. Luxury is demanding, and I can’t even pick out what to wear without him changing it. Since my best friend died, I feel like a part of me went with her.”
He put his arm around me, and we rested against the headboard.
His voice was calm as he said, “When you’re with me, you don’t have to worry about anything. With me, you can relax your mind and be free.”
I was so comfortable in his arms that I fell asleep.
27
LUXURY
Stuck
We wound up missing our flight because Lavish and Frill could not get their shit together on time. By the time we touched down in Baltimore, the promoter had decided to pull the shows and refund the tickets. Since we were so late, they hit us with a fine. So not only did we not get paid, but we also lost more money. Lavish and Frill didn’t seem to care. They wound up finding a party to go to and taking as many bitches they could back to the hotel. Meanwhile, I was blowing my baby’s phone up, and she wasn’t answering.
After partying and drinking and popping a few smackers, I fell asleep. I awoke the next morning and looked at my phone. Desire still hadn’t hit me up. This was getting old. I called her repeatedly, until she finally answered.
“Hello?” she said, sounding irritated.
“I’ve been calling you,” I said carefully, because I really felt like cussing her ass out.
“I know.”
I was feeling annoyed by her blasé attitude. “So, you weren’t going to answer or at least call me back?”
“I have nothing to say to you, Luxury. I don’t want to hear your lies.”
“Fuck. Just stop this nonsense. Your little tour is ending in a few days, and I don’t want you comin’ home all mad. I’m sorry I hurt you, but you gotta talk to me. You can’t be going hours without answering.”
“I’ll see you when I get home. You got some serious making up to do for not coming on tour with me.”
“I got you, baby. You already know my wheels are
turning. I’m about to roll up a fat blunt and then take a shower.”
“Well, I gotta get some rest. I’m tired. I’ll call you when I get up,” Desire said.
“A’ight. I love you.”
She hesitated a little before she finally replied, “I love you.”
It was taking everything in me not to jump on a plane and get to her. But the thought of crashing into the ocean had me shaking my head. Man, I was just going to have to wait to see her when she got home.
28
EGYPT
If I Was His Girlfriend
Wrapping up the tour for Desire was like seeing the light after getting lost in a dark cave. Working for Desire wasn’t no easy thing to do. She was moody as hell, and most of the time, I wanted to slap the hell out of her. She could be a sweetheart one minute and a straight-up bitch the next.
With her disappearing acts, me and the girls were suspicious. I had had to pump Meek for some info, and he’d mentioned that back in Paris, he waited for her outside some hotel room and then left before she came out. He’d told me he was certain she stayed the night. When he’d said that he saw a nigga answer the door, I’d been stunned. What the hell was Desire thinking?
After she’d kept curbing him and giving him nights off, he’d been under the impression that she was still seeing this dude. I wasn’t the type to snitch, but I oversaw all of Desire’s personal affairs, and I had noticed that her financial activity was unusual of late. She had some unexplained credit card transactions. If Desire didn’t slow her roll, I was going to have to let my boy Luxury know. At the end of the day, he was my friend first.
I really hated how crazy this job was becoming, and if it weren’t for my cousins, Lala and Nia, I would’ve gone mad by now. I was feeling more like a reporter for Luxury these days. Luxury was continually calling, wondering what was going on with Desire. Half the time, I didn’t even think she wanted this lifestyle. Seemed to me like her ass wanted to go back to what she was used to, taking her clothes off for a dollar. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around what he was thinking by trying to turn her into a household name. True, the fans enjoyed her music, but in my eyes, she would always be a gold-digging ho.
I spent the final day of the international tour preparing for Desire’s last appearance at a local nightclub. I had to call the club owner to make sure they would have everything Desire needed. Nia and Lala wanted to go shopping since it was our last day in the United Kingdom, but I wasn’t feeling it. They went without me, and I finished a couple of things for Desire.
About an hour after my cousins left the hotel, there was a knock on my hotel door, so I got up and opened it.
Desire walked in with shades on her eyes, looking like she had just crawled out of bed.
“What’s up?” I asked her.
“Nothing much. Bored out of my fucking mind. I can’t wait to get back to the States,” she said.
“Bored?” I scowled. Her ass wasn’t bored. I was sure she was just trying to lay it on thick so I wouldn’t be suspicious of her whereabouts. “Well, tonight is the last show, so it will all be over soon, and you can get back to your husband.”
She didn’t respond.
I ran my fingers through my hair, then pushed a section behind my ear. I took a good look at her and noticed a big red mark on her neck. Was that a hickey? This bitch had no tact. How was she going to hide that when we were back in the States in twenty-four hours?
“What?” she asked, noticing the way I was staring at her. She tried to pull the collar of her Puma zip-up jacket over the hickey.
“You fuckin’ bitch,” I let out.
Suddenly, she pulled her shades off and squinted at me while looking me up and down. “What the fuck you just call me?”
“You heard me. You walk up in here after being gone all fucking night. Matter of fact, you’ve been gone every night since we got here. You got a hickey on your neck? What’s wrong with you? Luxury is gonna kill you.”
“You really should mind your own business.” She kept trying her best to hide the hickey with her jacket.
“Oh no, don’t try to hide it now. Who is he? Is he the nigga you hooked up with in Paris? He must be important, because suddenly, you got substantial amounts of money flowing out of your bank account for plane tickets, hotels, and room service. You better tell me right now.”
Desire smacked her lips, looking guilty as hell. “Calm down. It ain’t all that serious.”
I took a deep breath and tried to rationalize with her. She was miles away from her man, and he wasn’t here for her. I had to put myself in her shoes to try to understand. Maybe if I was here for her now, I could learn everything there was to know, so that when it was time to expose her ass, I would have all the evidence I needed. She didn’t know what to do with a man like Luxury. I, on the other hand, had always wanted Luxury. That man was so fucking sexy. How could she cheat on him? He was loyal.
“Okay . . . look, I don’t mean to come at you foul. As your personal assistant, you shouldn’t try to hide shit like this from me because if it were to get out to the press, we’d have to do damage control. If you’re having an affair, that’s on you, but just know that I am a woman too, and I have needs, so I understand. You don’t think I’m lonely out here?”
“Yeah? You got a man?”
“I don’t, but that’s beside the point. My point is, you’re doing what you gotta do. You have needs.”
Desire looked at me as if she couldn’t believe I had just switched up, but she said, “It’s not what it looks like. Well, Luxury lies a lot. If he had just said that he had a fear of flying over water, I would’ve been able to handle that. I have a friend. That’s all we are, friends. He’s a nice guy, doesn’t mean any harm. Things just got carried away between us, but he understands that I’m married. We have an understanding. No need to worry.”
“Can I ask you something? Why’d you marry Luxury so fast?”
“I do what Luxury wants me to do. Since my best friend was murdered, and my father died of cancer within a month, I felt lost. It was still hard to deal with that, and Luxury was there for me. He showed me a new world and a life I could never dream of.”
“I get it,” I said, but I didn’t get it. “Does Luxury know your guy friend?”
“Nope, and I expect this conversation to stay between us. You don’t say a word, and you get to keep your job.” Desire threw her shades back on and walked out of my hotel room.
I took a deep breath and exhaled. If only the bitch knew that I could end her career if I wanted to. I was going to keep her secret about her lover to myself, but she had better hope the media didn’t get a hold of this news, or else she would have some explaining to do. Luxury was the wrong one to fuck around on. If he were mine, he wouldn’t have to worry about anything.
29
DESIRE
Back on Track
I was home, sweet home. Being home felt like heaven, but I was so nervous. As I walked up to the front door, my stomach was twisting into knots. I had to face Luxury. What if he could see my guilt? I felt stupid for sharing what I had with Egypt. What if she told him? When I had talked to him before my flight, he’d acted a little funny. He’d kept giving me short answers, as if he was irritated with me.
Though I should’ve been more cautious, I’d wound up spending the last night in London with Nasim. We’d made a promise that the time we’d spent in Paris, Spain, and the United Kingdom would be our secret. Once we touched down on US soil, we would go about our lives, pretending as if it had never happened.
I opened the front door and stepped inside. “Luxury?” I shouted, dropping my luggage at the door.
The house was so quiet. No TV. No music. He wasn’t there, to my surprise. In his last text message, he had said he would be on the plane from New York while my plane was still in the air, but he should’ve made it back home by now. He should’ve beaten me by hours. I checked my phone to see if he had messaged me. Nothing. I texted him, but he didn’t respond. That mad
e me even more nervous.
I would kill Egypt if she had told him my secret. A part of me wanted so badly to quit this rapping shit and take my ass back to the strip club. I even considered leaving Luxury so I could do me. This lonely life wasn’t what I had signed up for. Then I started thinking. Was he messing around with his baby mama? Everything lately had been “his baby this and his baby that.” If he was messing around, it was cool, because I surely was doing what I wanted to do.
I headed upstairs, and when I didn’t find him in any of the bedrooms, I got ready to take a shower. Before I hopped in, I inspected every nook and cranny of our bedroom and my closet to make sure he hadn’t had the next bitch up in here while I was gone. Then I went to the mini fridge and pulled out the bottle of Henny. I took a few sips and sent a text to Nasim.
Me: I made it home.
N: I’m almost home. I had to stop for some business.
Me: Okay.
N: When can I see you again? You should come by.
I shook my head. I had told him we wouldn’t be able to kick it anymore, unless we were in public.
Me: If I have some free time, let’s go to a bar or something.
N: Just hit me up.
I smiled and locked my phone. Taking off my clothes, I let the warm feeling of the liquor consume me. I got in the shower, humming to myself. While I showered, I kept thinking about the way Nasim’s hands felt on my skin. I got so lost in his hazel eyes whenever I was around him. There in the shower, I entered a beautiful world, which held all my best memories of our time together in the UK. He had told me everything about himself and how he’d grown up. I, in turn, had told him about my childhood. I had told him all about Mina and how much I missed her. Through our vulnerable moments, I had learned that his faults were his perfections. His choice of words always made me feel good, I realized. I felt tingly all over as I reminisced about our moments with each other.
Wait. Am I falling in love with Nasim?
It was like my feelings for Luxury were dying, and my feelings for Nasim were thriving. My eyes fell closed, and I immersed my head in the water, as if I was standing in a continuous waterfall. As the images of Nasim kept playing like a movie in my mind, the water poured down, dripping at my sides. The sensation of the steamy water was calming. I shook my head, telling myself to make these memories fade. I was going to have to pretend that what we did had never happened.