by Niyah Moore
Bo looked confused. “What you talking about? When you came in here asking me those questions about the shit, that was supposed to be the end of it. Why would I send a nigga after ya bitch?”
I shrugged. “That’s what I want to know. If you didn’t send him, then I need to holla at the disrespectful muhfucka. You know where I can find him?”
“Hey, look, if I help you out, what’s in it for me?”
“What you want?”
“My brother is looking for a record deal,” he said.
“How he sound?” I asked.
“He got talent. The next big thing out of Florida.”
I nodded. “Send him my way, then.”
“Cool. Look, Nas is my best hitta right now. The nigga knows how to get shit done.”
“We see that. What would you do if a nigga fucked ya wife and didn’t give a fuck, though?”
“I’d kill the fuck boy. No questions asked.”
“Put yourself in my shoes right now.”
Fat Man nodded his head. “I want you to know that I didn’t have anything to do with him fuckin’ with ya bitch. If I knew anything about it, I would’ve deaded that shit. It ain’t cool to fuck around, especially with you.”
“Respect. You know where he stays?”
“I don’t know his exact address, but I hear he stays near the liquor store on the corner of California Street and Ives.”
“Bet.”
We turned to walk out.
“Hey, you weren’t here,” Bo said.
I turned back. “I already know.”
“I’ll have my brother hit you up.”
“A’ight.” I turned back to my brothers, and we strode out of the pool hall.
We got in the car and headed to where this nigga might be. The whole time everyone was quiet, preparing mentally for what could go down.
As soon as I hit the corner of California and Ives, I saw the Range parked in front of a house.
“That’s his crib right fuckin’ there,” I said.
“Mmm-hmm, there the Range right there,” Frill noted.
I parked behind it and looked at the Porsche in the driveway. I took my Glock out of the center divider and tucked it in my waist. “Y’all stay in the car. I’m gone knock on the door and get him to come out to talk to me.”
“A’ight,” they said in unison.
I got out of the car and walked up the driveway to the front door. I knocked three times and waited. I heard someone unlock the door. He opened the door, and we stood face-to-face. I sized him up, wondered if he was strapped. He was slightly taller than me but thinner. I could take him fist to fist if I had to, I was thinking. He looked exactly the way he did in his Instagram photos. Looking at him, I wouldn’t think he was a killer. He looked more like a model or some shit like that.
“You Nas?” I asked.
“Yeah . . .” He looked at my car and saw my brothers sitting there. “Luxury?”
“You the nigga that was fucking my wife, huh?”
He took a deep breath and exhaled. “You left her alone to travel overseas right after losing her father, you beat the fuck out of her, like she was some nigga off the street, and now you here asking me if I was fucking her. You came over here for what?”
“Hey, nigga, don’t get at me like that. I’m the one that’s asking the questions, and I expect you to respond. I don’t need all the extra shit.”
He lifted his hands. “Look, I don’t want no problems with you, Luxury. What’s done is done. She gave me back the car, and she said we’re done. I’m not your problem. Yo, you have my word.”
“Nah, nigga, you will always be my fuckin’ problem unless we set some shit straight.”
Nas walked out of his house, closed the door behind him, and folded his arms across his chest. “A’ight, I’m listening.”
“I know you were paid to murder her best friend, and then you started fuckin’ with her when she was vulnerable. What I want to know is, Were you paid to fuck her?”
He shook his head. “Listen, that theory you got going sound mad crazy. Yo, I didn’t kill her best friend, so whoever told you that shit got me all wrong. When I met Desire, I didn’t know anything about her. I didn’t even know she was a rapper. My intentions with her wasn’t on no paid shit. We started out as friends.”
“Friends, huh? Yeah, okay. So you just gone lie to my face and tell me you ain’t kill Mina? Everybody knows that you’re Fat Man Bo’s new hitta. Don’t play with me right now, nigga.” I was two seconds away from taking my gun out and ending his life. “This ain’t no muhfuckin’ game.”
“A’ight, look, I was introduced to Fat Man through some broad that’s cool with ya baby mama, Charity. I was looking for work out here, and she said he could put me on. I let him know what I used to do in New York, and he said he had a job for me. I had no idea they were friends. I wouldn’t have did it if I knew. It wasn’t until Desire talked about what had happened to Mina when we were in Spain. Desire loves you, Luxury. You and Desire can work y’all shit out and leave me out of it.”
“Did she tell you she’s pregnant?”
He nodded. “Yeah . . . I was supposed to meet her this morning at the diagnostic place to take a paternity test, but . . . I feel like that’s between y’all.”
“You say that, like, even if the baby was yours, you don’t want shit to do with it.”
“It’s complicated. We were just fuckin’ around. Nothin’ serious. I thought she was on birth control. She even told me she took the morning-after pill. I don’t want these kinds of problems in my life. I got my own shit going on. I think it would be better for her not to keep it.”
“Well, nigga, it ain’t up to you. You love her?” My heart was beating fast when I asked that. If he loved her, it would be hard to erase him. I didn’t need him applying pressure and coming back to claim what he thought he could have.
He shook his head. “Nope, I don’t, and she knows that.”
“Listen, the only reason I’m not killing ya ass right now is the gun will ping the muhfuckin’ police. Your best bet is to get the fuck outta my city by tonight. Go back to wherever the fuck you came from, nigga. Never call my wife again. Matter of fact, don’t even tell her you leaving. If I find out you hit her up on your way out, it’s a fuckin’ wrap.”
He looked at me as if I were crazy, but then he said, “A’ight. I’ll leave. Like I said, I don’t want these problems.”
I gave him one last hard look before I walked back to the car. That shit was easier than I had thought it would be. I’d seen the look in his eye. He was ready to get out of town, anyway. He didn’t want to take care of his responsibility with Desire. Plus, with everything swirling around that he was a hitter, he didn’t want no smoke with the police.
As soon as I was in the car, I said, “He’s leaving town. I told him if he ever contacts Desire again, I’ll kill him.”
“You think he gonna leave?” Lavish asked.
“We’ll see.”
I snapped out of the memory and sighed as I stood in the kitchen, a few shards of glass still at my feet. Something wasn’t right here. Nas had said he would get out of town and disappear. He could’ve at least told his sister he was leaving, so she wouldn’t file a missing person’s report.
Desire was afraid that I had killed the nigga. I’d seen how she looked at me. After I swept up the rest of the broken glass and put it in the trash, I took my phone out of my pocket. I went to Nasim’s Instagram page and shot him a message.
I wrote: Nigga, you’re all over the fucking news. Call your sister and tell her you’re good.
I got a glass out of the cabinet and put ice in it. I filled it with bottled water. Then I walked to the bedroom. Desire had a wild look in her eyes. After placing the glass on the night table, I sat down.
“I went and hollered at Nas,” I said.
“When?”
“The day I came back home. There’s something you should know.”
“What did you do?” she
asked, starting to panic.
“Calm down and listen, babe. I’m going to tell you everything.”
She folded her arms across her chest and waited.
“You know Mina was fucking around with Fat Man Bo, and remember when I came back from the pool hall and told you he had said he didn’t do it?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, the nigga lied. He paid Nasim to kill her. Now, before you start asking questions, just listen . . . When you met Nasim, he didn’t know you were Mina’s best friend. That was a coincidence. Fat Man Bo told me where he lived, so I went over there. We talked. He said he would leave town.”
“Can I talk now?” she asked.
“Go ahead.”
“What do you mean, he killed Mina?”
“He admitted it to me. Bo paid him to get rid of her.”
Tears fell from her eyes. I put my arms around her and pulled her close to me.
“It’s over with now, baby. Fuck him. That nigga don’t even want you to keep the baby. I can’t share a city with a dirty-ass nigga like that.”
“He told you that too?” she asked.
“Yeah. It’s all good, though, because I got you and the baby.”
Just then, my cell vibrated against my hip. I took it out of my pocket and read the message from Nasim: I just got off the phone with my sister. I didn’t think she would call the police. She said they found my car at the airport. I left it there because somebody is supposed to come and get it. I sold it.
“That’s him,” I said, showing her the message.
She replied, “I really hope that from this day on, you don’t hide shit else from me. You could’ve told me that you thought that Bo was lying to you.”
“True. You’re right, baby. I’m sorry.”
“My only thing with you is that you just like to keep shit to yourself. As my husband, you can’t do that, so promise me you won’t do it again.”
“I promise never to keep or hide anything from you, no matter how I think you will react.”
“That’s all I ask.” She paused and thought for a moment before she continued. “When I talked to him about Mina’s death, he looked spooked. I feel so stupid.”
“You okay?”
“No, but I’ll be fine. This is just a lot to put on me right now. Why would I keep a baby if I don’t know if I’m giving birth to that killer’s baby?”
“Well, like I told you before, it don’t matter if it’s his or not.”
“It does matter, Luxury. I won’t have a baby by a nigga who killed my best friend. I don’t care if he was hired to do it or not. He should’ve found a way to tell me.”
I didn’t blame her for not wanting the baby if it was his.
“At the end of the day, it’s your body and your decision. I’m here for you, no matter the decision,” I assured her. “I’ll let you get some rest. Let me know if you need anything.”
She nodded, and I got up from the bed and headed out of the room. I closed the door behind me.
I hoped that my telling her everything would help her get through it. I would follow Desire into hell if that was what it would take to keep her safe. It was my responsibility to take care of her, because she was my wife. I would protect her, even if that meant protecting her from myself. Not a single soul was going to come before her. I was going to stay with her if she would stay with me. I wanted us to ride through everything, good or bad. I wasn’t sure about what was going to happen next, but I was going to do my best to take care of her no matter what.
42
DESIRE
Starting Over
When Luxury loved, he loved hard. Though our love was not perfect, it was ours, and we had figured out how to make things work in our crazy world. When I woke up the next morning, I cuddled up next to Luxury, pressed my nose into his chest.
“Good morning,” he said.
I looked up from his chest and said, “I’m going to the clinic. I’ve decided not to keep the baby.”
There was a little sadness in his eyes when he asked, “You sure?”
“Positive.”
He kissed my forehead and replied, “Say less. Tell me what you need for me to do, and I’ll do it.”
“I want to be discreet, so is there a way to enter the clinic without anyone knowing? I don’t want this story to get out.”
“I hear you. I’ll make some calls. How soon you want it done?”
“As soon as possible.”
“I got you.” Luxury sat up and reached for his phone.
I put my hand on his to stop him. “Hold up. Before you call, let me say this . . . I want things to be different between us, babe. I want to feel secure in this marriage, and I want you to trust me. I will never cheat on you again. Do you believe me?”
He looked into my eyes and said sincerely, “I believe you. Do you believe me when I say that I will never put my hands on you?”
I nodded. “Yes. I know it was the pain I caused, along with the intoxication.”
“No more drinking and drugs for me, I swear. I want things to be different for us too. We need to slow things down and enjoy one another. I’ll put you first always.”
“I believe you. Thank you.”
I forgave Luxury, and I forgave myself for my flaws. For us to start over, we had to let go of all the negative emotions and memories. It was time to move on with positive thoughts. If we couldn’t do that, our relationship would be negative and abusive. I couldn’t punish myself for my wrongs, and I wasn’t going to punish him for his. With true forgiveness, I could love Luxury fully, and our love was going to blossom like we never knew it could. Luxury and I were learning what forgiveness meant and our future looked bright. It would take time for us to heal our hearts, souls, and minds, and we were willing to go for it because we loved one another. This was our chance to begin anew.
I puckered up my lips to kiss him, and he received me. We kissed passionately, despite our morning breath, and we didn’t care. As he picked up his phone to make arrangements for me, I felt confident. There was a tiny part of me that wondered if I was carrying Luxury’s baby, but deep inside, I felt it wasn’t his. This was the best decision to make. While he talked on the phone, I took a shower, washed my hair, and thought about when would be an appropriate time to have babies. I decided to hold off on kids until I had at least one more album under my belt. There was no rush to start a family. I entered the bedroom with a towel wrapped around me.
“Tomorrow morning you will be the first and only one there. No cameras. We’ll have NDAs signed. You okay with that?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, putting lotion in my hand.
“Good.”
“In about a week, I’ll be ready to start recording my next album.” I smiled.
He smiled and nodded. “I like the sound of that, but you sure? I don’t want to put any pressure on you.”
“We gotta keep it going. I want that platinum plaque,” I said.
“I got you, baby. Let’s do it.”
“Oh, and you think we can go to the beach today?”
“We can do that. You want one of those fruity smoothies, don’t you?”
“Yup, and it’s called a batido, babe,” I said.
“I know what it’s called. It’s a smoothie, right?”
“No, it’s a Cuban milkshake, and I want a large, with extra mangos and pineapples.”
He came over to me, put his arms around my waist, and smiled with those incredible dimples. “You can have whatever you want, Mami. Maybe I should try one this time. Which flavor would you suggest for a first timer?”
“You like strawberries. Get that one.”
“Can they put some banana in there too?”
“They can put whatever you want in it,” I promised.
“Hmm. You know what? I actually Googled this spot for the best batidos in Miami yesterday, and I was going to surprise you with a little outing, but why not go there and then go to the beach?”
“Ooh! Where?”
�
�Let me see.” He pulled up Google on his phone. “It’s called Bocas House. It’s in Doral. Brand-new little spot. You heard of them?”
“No. What time they open?”
“It says eleven thirty. I’m going to take a shower, get dressed, and we can get some breakfast. Then we can head over there. The rest of the afternoon, we can chill on the beach.”
I smiled and kissed him all over his face. “Sounds like the perfect day and exactly what I need before tomorrow.”
Biting his lower lip, he palmed my behind with both hands. “I love you so much, Desirae.”
His loving words were the sweetest melody. I could wrap myself in his arms and stay that way for eternity.
“I love you too.”
The End