Stealing the Preacher's Heart

by Mildred Colvin

  “Hey, Sissy. Have you been missing me?” She rubbed the sleek nose that reached forward to nudge her. A quick glance toward the barn told her Elliott was still busy with his horse. She was alone, with no extra ears to hear her thoughts. Releasing her held breath, she leaned against the horse she loved so much and poured out her heart.

  “I don’t know how long I can continue pretending to be someone I’m not. It makes me feel so guilty, and sometimes I want to shout out that I’m Lily Rose, and I have my own background. I didn’t grow up in the city. I’ve never even been to New York.”

  “I don’t think you should do that.” The familiar voice startled her.

  She looked around and saw no one, but he was somewhere close. She planted a fist on each hip and turned the direction the voice came from. “Where are you, JD?”

  He stepped out from behind a tree not far away. His grin was wide as he sauntered toward her. “Couldn’t find me, could you?”

  “Maybe it’s because you shouldn’t be here.” She didn’t anger easily, but his appearance annoyed her. “I thought we had an agreement that you wouldn’t be hanging around.”

  He shrugged. “I’m just passing through. Thought I’d stop by and make sure my little sis is being treated all right.”

  “Well, I am so you can go now.” Sissy nudged her shoulder as if she sensed the changed mood. “You’re upsetting Sissy.”

  “Ha, how hilarious. I’m not the problem. More likely, she thinks you should be nice to me since I brought her all the way here so you’d be together. At least, she appreciates my efforts.” His crooked grin said he expected her to give in from gratitude.

  And she was grateful. “I paid you for this horse, remember?”

  “Yeah, with money I gave you, so it’d look good. I got nothing for that long, hard trip.”

  “Alright, thank you again.” She blew out an exaggerated rush of annoyed air, then looked toward the barn again. Elliott was nowhere in sight. But what did that mean? He could watch them from anywhere, although she had a feeling he’d have come right away if he’d seen JD. He seemed to think he had to protect her, sort of like JD and Papa had always done. She turned back to her brother. “If Elliott sees you, he’ll think something is wrong. You need to stay away from here unless you want to come right out and tell him the truth. Which would get me thrown off the place in two seconds. Have you given up your old ways?”

  JD blinked at her abrupt question, then shrugged. “Pretty much. That’s why I’m here now. I’ve been looking for a job. You haven’t heard of any ranch hands needed anywhere around here, have you?”

  “No, but I’ll keep my ears open.” What was she saying? If she wasn’t careful, he’d be checking in with her all the time. “But I doubt I’ll hear anything. If I do, I’ll try to get you word.”

  “Don’t know how you could do that.” He shook his head. “I’ll stop by when I’m in the neighborhood. By the way, your husband’s not such a terrible speaker.”

  “How do you know?” Her mouth hung open, but she didn’t care.

  He grinned. “I have my ways. Just because you don’t always see me, doesn’t mean I’m not noticing things. Like you shooting that snake today. Good save of the girl, but too many more stunts like that could show your hand before you’re ready. Get your hooks in him good and solid before you let him know who you really are.”

  “I know all that.” She raised her voice, then pressed her lips together, letting her annoyance settle before looking into her brother’s eyes. “JD, please go. I have to fix supper. If I don’t get to the house, Elliott will come looking for me.”

  “All right.” He turned and walked away, then called over his shoulder. “See you around.”

  He hadn’t asked for anything. Maybe he did only want to reassure himself she was all right. And when had he heard Elliott preach? Maybe on Sunday when she’d s him through the window. She shook her head, wondering if she knew her brother at all. At least, he’d said he was trying to get an honest job. Maybe something good would come of their troubles after all. She told Sissy she’d be back later, then went to the house.

  After supper, Elliott pushed his chair back and started gathering their plates. “Grace, you’ve worked hard enough today, so I’ll help Lily with the dishes. You probably have things to do, anyway, since you’re going back to school tomorrow.”

  “But—” She stopped as a light entered her eyes while a smile lifted her lips. She waved and swung away. “Thanks, Papa. I am a little tired, and there’s a book I’d like to read. I promise to do my share tomorrow evening.”

  “All right, you have my permission.” He laughed with her, then turned to Lily as she poured boiling water into the dry sink and added soap and cool water. “She’s a sweetheart. Always has been. Stepped in and tried to do the work of a full grown woman when her mother died. She kept me busy getting things done before she tried to do them. I think it helped keep my mind from becoming mired in the pit of grief.”

  “How old was she when your wife died?” Lily recognized the emotions in Elliott’s eyes as he remembered the way it had been for him and Grace. She’d been there when her mother and her stepmother died and knew the hurt of her world twisted upside down, so nothing made sense.

  “She was just nine years old. Not old enough to be without a mother.” He wiped the last plate dry and set it in the cabinet with the others. “She still needs a mother, Lily, and I think God has sent her exactly who she needs.” He laid the tea towel down and stepped closer to her. His fingers caught a flyaway strand of hair and brushed it behind her ear. His touch was light but left a trail of fire, spreading and warming her as it went. “Already, she cares for you.”

  “Um, I care for her, too. Very much.” She bent her head closer to his hand as his fingers slid over her jaw and cupped her neck in a sort of one-hand hug.

  When he pulled away, the tingling persisted. His smile was so sweet. His eyes sparkled as they looked into hers. “I think we need to spend some time together.” He glanced around the kitchen. “This looks good enough, don’t you think? Why don’t you grab a shawl and we’ll go for that ride?”

  “All right.” She’d walk the seven miles to town with him if he’d ask and never complain, even if they turned around and walked back without stopping. Anything to be with him. And exercising Sissy also sounded wonderful. But Elliott was the one who set her heart pounding with just a smile. She’d never felt this way about any man before. Not that she’d been around many, but she couldn’t think of any who had ever interested her the way her husband did. She stepped away, still gazing into his eyes. “I’ll just be a minute. Should we tell Grace where we’ll be?”

  “Yes, I can do that while you get a shawl.” His smile took years from his appearance. Not that he was old. At least, he didn’t seem to be. She hurried to her room as the realization she didn’t even know her husband’s age hit her. She’d found nothing in the letters that told her, yet he must have mentioned something to Rebecca Lily. Surely a woman wouldn’t travel so far to marry a man if she didn’t know his age. For all she knew, he could’ve been in his eighties or a youngster barely out of his teen years. Well, maybe not that young since he had a teenaged daughter. She must be near Rebecca’s age because he had shown no surprise at her appearance. Until that moment, she hadn’t considered they might have exchanged photographs.

  She sank to the edge of her bed as the thought brought a moment of weakness. How foolish she’d been to listen to her brother and father. If Elliott found out she was impersonating another woman, could he take her to the sheriff? Would he?

  She glanced toward the desk. She’d seen no photograph or mention of any. The letters she had read weren’t enough, but she needed to read them again. There was so much she wanted to know about Elliott, yet she was afraid to ask. She lifted her shawl from a hook on the wall near the door and slung it over her shoulders as she went out to join her husband. The husband she didn’t deserve and shouldn’t have.

  After riding a cou
ple of miles one way, they turned around and headed home. Lily didn’t care as long as she was with Elliott. She enjoyed spending a few minutes with just the two of them. After they returned and had the horses taken care of, Elliott took her hand in his as they walked toward the house. With the sun just below the horizon, twilight took over and gave a romantic feeling, at least to Lily. She glanced toward Elliott and met his gaze. His lips curved as his eyes held hers.

  Her heart leapt the second before she stepped on uneven ground. She felt the jerk of her ankle and Elliott’s arms catching her. “Whoa, there. We can’t have you falling and getting hurt.”

  His voice was soft, his arms hard and muscular, yet with a gentle strength. Now her heart was pounding. She smiled into the concern on his face. “I’m fine. You caught me just in time.”

  “I’m glad.” His left hand took hers while his right arm encircled her waist. “I need to keep you safe. I don’t want to lose you ever.” He was so close, his breath brushed her temple.

  She’d never felt such a sense of protection. His warmth surrounded her and his arm held her as if she belonged to him. But did she really? She didn’t want to analyze their relationship or her feelings. All she wanted was to know she had the right to be with him, even if she had to pretend.

  They walked around the house, and he led her onto the front porch where they sat in the swing side-by-side, their shoulders touching as he continued to hold her hand. A rush of love for this man surprised her. Was she falling in love, or had she already? He was her husband. Why was it so hard to believe she’d married such a wonderful man? His reaction to her gun surprised and troubled her, but he quickly understood she had used it to save his daughter’s life. He hadn’t mentioned it since, but she needed to know his feelings about her having a gun. “Would you mind telling me why you were so upset when you realized I had shot that snake?”

  A muscle twitched in his jaw, and as he met her questioning gaze, there was pain in his eyes. When he spoke, his voice held no emotion. “My mother died from a gunshot.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t seem to hear as he continued. “I went to town with her that day. We were in the bank when outlaws burst through the door and told us all to stand on one side. When they demanded money, a teller pulled a gun out and they fired shots. The teller died, and one of the robbers was injured. I don’t know how, but a bullet hit Mama. They said it was a wild shot and the will of God. I never believed that. I was ten years old, and I’ve hated guns ever since. She was only thirty-two.”

  “I am so sorry” She’d already said that, but what else could she say? That she understood because her father had died from a gunshot wound, too? Of course not, because Rebecca Lily’s father had probably died from natural causes. There was so much she’d like to tell Elliott that she couldn’t without telling everything. Then he’d never want to ride horses, or walk with her through his beautiful flowers, or sit on his porch swing and hold her hand. Guns had always been a way of life for her. She didn’t blame the instrument used in her father’s death, but the lifestyle he and her brother lived. That was what she hated. Her gun had been a gift from her father, and she treasured it. She would never give it up, not even for Elliot.

  Would he ever understand? “It wasn’t the gun, but the men who used it to hurt others that caused your mother to die. I hate the outlawing ways, but I can’t hate the outlaws or the guns they use. What I hate is the idea that it’s all right to take from other people. That’s what concerns me more than anything else. Didn’t you say in your sermon that sin causes evil? Sin, not an object that can be used for either good or bad. We can use guns for good, like providing food or saving your daughter’s life. That wasn’t evil, was it?”

  He released her hand and pulled her close to his side. “No! Of course it wasn’t evil, Lily.” He dropped a kiss on her temple. “I could never think of you or anything you do as evil. You keep your gun, and if any other snake comes sneaking around here, you have my blessing to shoot his head off just like you did that one.”

  When she looked up at him, their eyes met and held. Then his eyes lowered and stopped at her lips. Slowly he leaned toward her, and she closed her eyes, anticipating her second kiss. When their lips touched, her heart hammered in her chest and her arms lifted to encircle his neck. The kiss was slow and sweet, then intensified as longing for his love swept over her. She knew at that moment she had fallen in love with her husband. The question was did he love her?

  When they finally pulled apart, his forehead touched hers. After a moment, he spoke. “Will you sleep in my room, Lily? You are my wife, and I want you with me. Even if I only hold you in my arms all night. Please say you’ll sleep with me tonight.”

  Love for her husband, fear for the unknown, and anticipation mixed with shyness about what could happen filled her to the bursting point as she lowered her eyes and nodded.

  She was in love with Elliott, and more than anything, she wanted their marriage to be real in every way. All at once, she realized she couldn’t continue lying to him, but she didn’t know how to tell him the truth or to keep him from sending her away if she did.

  Chapter 8

  A few days later, Lily stepped into the smelly chicken house and looked around. She’d spent the last few days trying not to think about it, but the place needed cleaned out. The nasty job was one of her least favorite chores, but she wanted to get it done before Grace came home from school. Sure as anything, she’d offer to help, and for now she intended to spare her the distasteful job.

  She started by scooping manure and tossing it into the wheelbarrow she’d left just outside the door. When she finished with the shovel, she pushed her load into the garden and dumped it. Arriving back at the chicken house, she stepped inside as a rustling sound came from the back. Movement darkened the spaces between boards. Someone was skulking around out there.

  Holding her breath, she watched as the shape of a person moved past. Leaning close to the wall, she peered through the cracks in time to make out a man sneaking along the backside of the building. It wasn’t Elliott. More than likely a transient hoping to steal a chicken for his supper. As recognition dawned, she inhaled a quick breath. “JD, what are you up to now?”

  She whispered the question while slipping her hand into her pocket. With her little derringer held tight, she eased toward the door, hoping to catch him off guard. Unless he’d heard her working earlier, he wouldn’t expect to find her in the chicken house.

  As she stepped out the door, he came around the corner. Instinctively, her gun came up as she prepared to confront him. “I thought we’d agreed you wouldn’t hang around here, JD. You’re going to get me thrown out of town, so I’m asking you again to leave.”

  He lifted both hands as if he expected her to shoot. “Hey, what’s got you so riled up? All I want is something to eat. I’m hungry.”

  “If you were home where you belong, you could cook up some grub.”

  “You know I can’t cook.” He turned a little-boy pouty face toward her. “Besides, there’s nothing to eat. I’ve been going straight like you wanted.”

  She lowered her gun. “Are you telling me the truth? You aren’t outlawing anymore?”

  His eyes gazed into hers without wavering. “Not even once since Pop died. I’ve been living off what little I got from that mailbag after setting you up here.”

  He’d only said that to make her feel guilty. Even knowing didn’t help. She stuffed her gun back into her pocket. “I guess I could get you a plate of something.”

  “Yeah, you probably eat pretty good.” He looked around the small homestead, and she figured he saw what appeared to be a prosperous place. They’d cleaned out the garden so Elliott could plow it ready for next spring. The fall flowers were still in bloom, and dressed up the place really pretty. Elliott was faithful at keeping the lawn trimmed, and she and Grace helped. They’d been making yardwork a time spent together, so it was more fun than a chore. But there was seldom any extra money,
and she imagined that’s what JD wanted.

  “Yeah, buying you all those fancy dresses has sure paid off. You’ve got it pretty good here.” His words confirmed her thoughts. “I’ve been looking for an honest job like you said, but no luck yet. All I need is something to eat now and a little money for later until I get a break. What do you say?”

  She didn’t know whether to laugh at his mistaken ideas or to cry because she couldn’t help him. Instead, she shook her head. “Elliott got two bits from the offering plate Sunday morning, and that’s already spent on flour because we were running out. I’ve been told we’ll get invited some Sundays to eat at someone’s house, and that’s real nice, but Elliott says we shouldn’t count on it happening very often. We aren’t starving because Grace put up a good bit from the garden, the chickens give us eggs, and we have a cow for milk.”

  His brows drew together, and he stared at her for a moment then shook his head. “Are you serious? We lived better than that. Can’t remember any time we didn’t have a little money.”

  “Maybe not, but we lived off other folks and what I could raise. I don’t want to go back to that way of life, and I hope you don’t either. Besides, you’re forgetting the times you weren’t successful and came home with nothing.”

  “Yeah, I guess so.” His gaze shifted toward the house. “I’m hungry now, though. How about you fixing me something to eat?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t let you in the house. The preacher is studying for his sermon on Sunday.” Then she tilted her head and smiled. “That’s not entirely true. There’s one way I could. If you want to confess your sins and make a new start. I know he’d love to pray with you. Might even help you find a new job. An honest one like you’ve been looking for.”