Stealing the Preacher's Heart

by Mildred Colvin

  Straightening, she looked at the sleeping form of her husband. Hers through deception, which meant he wasn’t hers at all. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach as the thought Raylene had planted in her mind wouldn’t let go. She couldn’t be with child. It wouldn’t be right if she was, so it couldn’t be.

  She took the riding skirt and blouse she’d laid out the night before and carried her shoes and stockings out of the bedroom. Closing the door, she moved through the darkness of night to the room she had when she first arrived. She’d never gotten around to moving all of her clothing, a fact she was thankful for now. If the letter said what she suspected, she’d need to pack as much as she could. After lighting the lamp on Elliott’s desk, she dressed, then sat down and tore open the letter from Rebecca Lily. Her hands trembled as she opened it.

  Dear Elliott,

  I can imagine hearing from me has surprised you. I don’t blame you if you discard my letter after reading it. However, I hope you will have compassion and forgive me for my actions. I have no excuse except fear of the unknown and can only ask for mercy. Jesus said we must forgive one another. I pray you will forgive me and give me a second chance to prove I will be a good wife and help to you.

  I’ve regretted my rash actions ever since I returned your money and told you I couldn’t come. After much prayer, I believe you are the man I should marry. I look forward to your response. If you’d like to continue corresponding for a while, that would be fine. If you want me to come immediately, that would be even better. Whatever your decision, please, do not think of me unkindly.

  I am forever yours,

  Rebecca Lily Stevens

  By the time Lily finished the letter, tears ran down her cheeks. She sucked in air, brushed away the evidence of her sorrow, and stood. There was no question now. Rebecca Lily was a Christian woman who should have been Elliott’s wife from the start. All she needed to do was get out of the way to make things right.

  She opened the wardrobe where most of her clothing hung. Pulling the dresses out, she folded them and stuffed them into the bag she’d brought with her. The three new ones JD had purchased for her fit in one bag. She’d packed her old clothes last night while Elliott took care of the chickens and horses. What little she’d left in the bedroom, he could discard, as she didn’t want to chance waking him.

  Silently, she removed all other evidence of her existence from the house, then sat at the kitchen table and wrote a note for him to find.

  Elliott,

  Here’s a letter from the woman you thought I was. I shouldn’t have taken it without your knowledge, but I needed to know if she wanted to come to you. As you’ll see in her letter, she realizes she made a mistake. I’m sure you’ll be happier with her. When I took, then destroyed, her first letter saying she wouldn’t be coming and pretended to be her, I did wrong. I know that now, and I’m sorry for the wrong I’ve done. More sorry than you will ever know.

  But not for the time I’ve spent with you. These last months have been the happiest of my life, and that’s because of you and Grace. I love Grace so very much. My fondest wish was that she could have really been my daughter. You’ve done a remarkable job raising her, but she deserves credit too, for being the wonderful person she is. I will miss her terribly.

  But you, my darling, are the one I will miss the most. I can scarcely bear to write these words, but now I must. From the day we met at the stagecoach when I arrived, I have been living a lie. I have never bowed before Christ and asked His forgiveness. Listening to you preach has made me want to, but I couldn’t without giving away my charade. I was afraid I’d lose you, and now I’ve lost you, anyway.

  The only thing true I’ve told you is my name. I am Lily Rose. The truth is, I’m the daughter of an outlaw. He was killed after a stage robbery. You’ve seen my brother, JD, who has been here to check up on me. He wouldn’t listen when I asked him to stay away, and now he’s gone into thieving again, he won’t be back. Please pray for him if you can find enough charity in your heart to do so. He’s a good man, but has been taught wrong.

  I’m going home to stay. Coalsburg, Missouri, is a tiny town against the Kansas line about 60 miles from here. From there, follow the directions on the map I’ll draw. I’m not asking you to come for me. I know better than that, but if you need help to get out of this marriage and need my signature for anything, I’ll be glad to oblige.

  You are a wonderful man and husband. I hope you and Rebecca Lily will find a lasting love. If I had the right to pray, I’d ask for God’s blessings on you both, and on Grace. Please tell her I love her.

  Lily

  She stood and placed her folded note and map on top of Rebecca Lily’s letter. After leaving them on the table where Elliott couldn’t miss them, she lowered the wick on the lamp and watched the light dwindle to darkness. Only a ray of moonlight shone through the window. Going into the anteroom where she and Grace had done the laundry and shared so much, she put on her heavy coat and picked up the bags she’d already packed. Surely she had left nothing. Her mother’s Bible was the only thing other than clothing she’d brought, and she had packed it first.

  Sissy seemed glad to see her and waited patiently as she saddled her then loaded her down with the two bags.

  “I hope you’re up for a few days of riding, girl.” Lily swung into the saddle and gave her horse a pat. We’re going on a long journey, and we need to stay away from civilization, but close enough to keep from getting lost. I figure we’ll be on the road for two to three days if we hurry, so let’s go.”

  Sissy didn’t need any urging. She liked to run and set off at a quick pace then settled into one that would cover the ground without wearing her out. “It’s just you and me now, Sissy.” Lily let her thoughts come out in conversation. “Let’s see how far we can get before we need to stop and rest. I don’t want to waste a lot of time getting home. Actually, I’m eager to see the old place. Find out what kind of mess JD has left it in. I don’t suppose he’ll be there.” A weight settled on her heart as she thought of her brother. “I wish he would be, then I’d do my best to talk him into living right. Even if he had to work in the coal mines, it would be honest work, but I’d rather see him out in the fresh air taking care of horses. That’s what he likes best.”

  After Sweet Water was in their background, the reality of her situation hit her in a wave of sadness. She wouldn’t cry again, though. There’d been enough tears shed this morning to last a lifetime. All she could do was to look forward to a lonely life alone. Just her and her animals. Using her sleeve to wipe moisture from her face, she looked toward the east and watched for the first ray of the rising sun to brighten the dark sky ahead.

  ~*~

  As soon as Elliott awoke, he reached for Lily. When his hand brushed the empty bed, he turned to look. She was already up. He checked the clock. Six. She’d gotten up earlier than usual, so couldn’t have been up long. He arose and dressed, eager to find her and tell her again how much he loved her. The last two days had been better than he’d ever expected when he first thought of seeking a wife. From the first day he’d laid eyes on his Lily, she had more than fulfilled his desires for a woman to call his own, and for a mother, for his daughter. He hurried from the room.

  “Lily, where are you?” He called out as he crossed the living room and entered the kitchen. The house felt cold and empty, as if he was alone. Maybe she’d gone out to see her horse. He backtracked through the living room to the other two rooms. But she wasn’t in Grace’s bedroom or in his office. Everything appeared just as neat and clean as she always kept it. His steps quickened as he took long strides through the house to the back door, and, pulling on his coat, he went outdoors. She didn’t appear in the yard, so he set off toward the barn.

  Danny Boy stood in the pasture grazing, but Sissy wasn’t in sight. A search of the barn concerned him when he couldn’t find Sissy’s saddle or tack. Just to be sure, he checked the chicken house on the way back. She wouldn’t have gone for a ride without
letting him know. Maybe there was a note inside, and he’d missed it.

  Reentering the house, he looked more carefully and when his gaze fell on the folded paper, his heart rate picked up its already frantic beat. He snatched the paper up before he realized he also held an envelope. Opening the note, he skimmed it, then dropped into the nearest chair and slowly read again, not believing and barely understanding the words. How could it be? She’d left him, but she loved him? Why? The man who had been a thorn in his side was her brother? He read it a third time before her neatly penned words made sense enough for him to know the envelope he held was a letter from Rebecca Lily. Why would she write to him?

  He rose from the table with a roar and threw the envelope across the room. She’d caused this. Although the two Lilys blended in his mind as one, he understood now there were two women. Where had his Lily come from then? For the fourth time, he forced his mind to concentrate on the information in her note. Slowly, the pieces fell into place. He’d married and fell in love with an imposter, but he didn’t care. Her father was an outlaw and had died from injuries in a robbery, but he didn’t care. Her brother had been harassing him so he could be sure Lily was safe, and he didn’t care. In fact, he appreciated the man’s concern. He would’ve done the same for his sister. What he cared about was that Lily had left him.

  As he moved to lay the note down, he remembered the map. His heart sang at the implication of her drawing him a map so he could find her. She wanted him to come for her. The door of invitation was open, and he had every intention of walking through. But he needed to hasten. She had a head start on him. He had to make sure the Langdon’s would allow Grace to stay with them again while he was away. How far was it? He looked at the note again. Sixty miles to the town, then more to her house. If he pushed hard enough, he could get there in two days, three at the most. He’d need a bedroll and provisions. Had she taken enough? Would she be safe riding alone so far?

  “Lord Jesus, I ask for protection. Keep her safe from any harm. Make her way free of obstacles. Send the angels to protect her. I’m asking for peace where there seems to be none. Bring clarity to the confusion surrounding me. Show us the way to go from here. I love her, Lord. I love my Lily, my wife, and I don’t want any other to take her place. You gave us each other. Open her heart to my love. Show us the way to go from here. Give me direction as I go for her, and protect us both so nothing stands between us. Surely, this has happened for a reason, and we will be stronger for it.”

  As soon as his prayer ended, he found several biscuits to take with him and ate one as he went about packing what he’d need. He had to make sure Grace had a place to stay, then he’d go as quickly as possible.

  Elliott camped that night, thankful for the distance he’d covered. He stopped by the side of the road and built a small fire to keep warm while he ate his third biscuit that day. His stomach had gone far beyond grumbling for food, and he wondered how Lily was faring. Was she hungry and safe? Worrying about her wouldn’t help, so he bowed his head, thanked God for His presence and help, and for the biscuits and fresh, clean water he’d found along the way. Then he asked again for Lily’s protection. He rolled up in his bedroll, so exhausted from being in the saddle all day that he didn’t even feel the cold. Sleep came quickly, and the morning light was upon him before he was ready. But as awareness came, he rose and took a moment to thank the Lord for sleep and asked for continued safety for himself and Lily. Only then did he hurry to saddle up and face the next day of his journey.

  As he rode toward the morning sun, his mind fluctuated between Lily and Grace. He thought of the scripture that admonished Christians to pray without ceasing and realized he’d been doing that very thing as he continually prayed for the ones who meant so much to him.

  He would bring her home with him. Staying close to the road so he wouldn’t get lost, he wondered if there was a shorter way. Still, he made good time and met very few others as he pressed always toward the east, keeping Lily’s map close in case he needed it.

  Then, after riding as far into the night as he could, he again made camp and settled down to rest while the cold November wind tried to reach inside his bedroll. But sleep came, and he rose with the rising sun to continue his quest for what he hoped was the final and shortest day on the trail.

  “Lord, be with us. Open Lily’s heart to the love we’ve shared, and mostly to Your will.”

  Chapter 14

  By the time Lily reached her old home early on the third day, she was worn out. Sissy walked around the house to the barn as if she knew where she was going and was glad to be home. Not so for Lily. Her heart ached as much or more than her muscles did. She couldn’t stop thinking about Elliott and Grace or longing to be with them. They were her family, her safe home where love surrounded her every moment. How could she endure giving them up?

  She unsaddled Sissy and rubbed her down. But her mind wouldn’t leave the house and church that had been hers. Deep inside, she longed for the peace she’d seen in Elliott’s eyes. She’d pretended to be what he’d wanted, but she couldn’t find rest for her soul. No matter how many times she sat on the front pew and listened to his sermons or met with the other ladies and worked on projects to help others, the unrest grew. Even reading her Bible didn’t help, but stirred up even more questions. Elliott had always been gentle with her, loving her when she wasn’t worth his time. But he hadn’t known what she was or where she came from. He’d believed she was a Christian.

  A tear worked its way down her cold cheek, leaving a fiery trail. She brushed it away only to have another follow. Elliott knew the truth now, and she had set him free, but she felt as if the weight of her past, her heritage, would forever press her down. Was there no hope for her? She leaned her head against Sissy’s side and let the tears fall as her shoulders shook from their release.

  When she felt she could cry no more, she straightened and finished caring for her horse then went to the house. As she stepped inside, the smell of neglect hit her. Even though the air inside was cold enough to freeze water, the stench of rotting garbage reached her nostrils. The table still held three dirty plates and a pan of something moldering in the bottom. Apparently, JD had hooked up with two other men and had fed them. More dirty dishes sat in the dry sink. Maybe they’d taken a meal here more than once. She was thankful they’d let the fire in the stove go out. But she needed to clean it before building another.

  First, she swept the mud and leaves they’d tracked in out the door. She should mop the floor, but that could wait. The stove came next because her fingers were numb from the cold. After cleaning the stove, she soon had a crackling fire going to chase away the frigid air. All day she worked, scrubbing and cleaning the mess her brother and his cronies had left. By evening, she was famished, and the anger at her brother had calmed somewhat. She looked around at what she’d done and was pleased to have things back to normal. But she had to eat, and she had seen little in the house to cook. JD’s friends had probably eaten everything.

  She donned her coat and went out to the garden. By looking carefully, she found a few potatoes in the ground that she’d missed before. They were small, but would do for one meal. Tomorrow, she’d have to ride into town and see if she could set up a charge account for food. Winter wasn’t the best time to be without.

  As she started back inside, she glanced toward the cellar. Could it be possible JD hadn’t eaten all her stores of canned goods? She carried her potatoes inside and left them on the table, then went back out with a lantern. When the light shone on a full shelf of canned vegetables, she wept. If she was careful, and didn’t have to feed anyone else, except JD occasionally, she’d have enough to last out the winter. “Thank You, Lord.”

  Her voice startled her, but not as much as her prayer. That she’d prayed seemed wrong, as she knew she deserved nothing from the Lord God above. She was lower than a worm digging in the dirt. She shoved her thoughts aside and took one jar of green beans. They’d go well with her potatoes. Carrying her t
reasure to the house, she fixed a pan of cut potatoes and set it on the stove to boil. When they had almost cooked, she added the beans and let them boil together for a few minutes. Finally, she sat at the table staring at her plate. She was so far past being hungry that she didn’t care whether she ate. In fact, she had no desire to eat, but if she didn’t she might get sick, and that was not a pleasant thought. But her chest felt as if a heavy weight sat upon it. Her eyes burned for the need to cry, and she’d already cried enough to fill the milk bucket. Normally, she never cried, but today, the least little thing set off her tears. If only she hadn’t left Elliott and Grace. Yet, deep inside, she knew the turmoil inside she felt now had started even before Rebecca Lily’s letter came.

  With a deep sigh, she lowered her head and closed her eyes as she’d gotten used to doing. But Elliott wasn’t there to pray, and the tears she’d been holding welled up in her eyes. She tried to fight them back, but one by one, they fell as fast as she could wipe them away. “What have I done, Lord Jesus?”

  As the prayer left her lips, she knew. She could pray! If she’d learned nothing else during her time as a pastor’s wife, listening to her husband’s sermons twice a week, it was that God is open to all people who will come to Him. During one of Elliott’s recent sermons, he said everyone has access to God through prayer if they come through His Son, Jesus. He said the Father in Heaven is not willing that any should perish without Him, but that all should come to Him, and He promised to always listen to a true prayer of repentance.