by Renee Marski
Patricia closed her eyes, tears brimming. "And I helped her. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."
"Well, the judge has seen fit to release you on bail until your trial." He gave her an encouraging smile. "I don't see why he wouldn't give you probation. Make you work at the camp."
Patricia smiled back and wiped at her tears. "I'd like that, I think."
"What about Savannah?" Hannah asked this quietly, making Clara jump.
"She's awake, thank goodness. Every day she's getting better. She's terribly sad about Katy and Gretchen and what Maddy did, but thankful she survived. I'm going to visit her every day until she's better. It's the least I can do." Patricia gave them a warm smile. Clara felt that Savannah was in good hands.
Clara looked between the deputy and Tracy. "And you two? What happens here?"
They exchanged a glance, Tracy coloring slightly. "Well, we think we want to try the long-distance thing," Tracy said. He nodded in agreement. Tracy continued: "We like each other. We get along great. We support each other. And I'm not against living in Tennessee." She winked at Clara. "They need teachers here too."
Deputy Braydon touched his forehead to Tracy's. "And we can visit each other. That won't be a problem at all." She nodded her agreement. Clara smiled, her heart warming at their happiness. At least one good thing came out of this summer.
Hannah looked at all of them and shook her head. "Next summer, we go to a place that has a beach. Got it?" The others nodded, laughing as they headed into the house to gather their things. The cab was already on its way to take them to the airport. They stayed in their rooms to give Tracy a moment alone with her deputy. When they came back out, he was gone, the dust on the road the only sign he'd ever been there.
Clara hugged Tracy. "He couldn't stay?"
She shook her head. "Duty calls."
They said their goodbyes to Patricia, wishing her luck before heading out to the waiting cab. They loaded their things into the back and then climbed inside. This time, Clara sat smooshed between Hannah and Stacy, with Denise and Tracy in the captains' seats in the middle. As the van pulled away, Tracy smiled at Clara. "So, Clara, any insight into what you're going to do when you get home?"
Clara clutched her journal, knowing what Tracy meant. Was she going to go home and continue dating Anthony, pretending that everything was okay? Or was she going to see how things panned out with Will? Would Anthony hate her? Would Will even want to date her? She'd spent the night before writing it all out in her journal, the pros and cons of both decisions. In the end, she'd decided that if she didn't take a chance, she'd spend the rest of her life wondering "what if?"
"I'm going to break up with Anthony. I think we need a real break. Not just an engagement break." She kept her eyes on her feet as she spoke. "I want to see if there's anything between Will and me. This whole summer, while all this stuff was going on, all I could think about was how Will would handle this, and what Will would think about it. Not once did I wonder what Anthony would think."
"So, you're going to give Will a shot?" Tracy's voice came out more a squeal than words.
Clara nodded. "I am. Does that make me a bad person?" She glanced at her friends, worry eating at her. Anthony was a great guy. She'd moved to Texas to be with him. She didn't want to break his heart but she felt that this was something she needed to do.
Hannah shook her head. "No. You're not married to him. You're free to date other people if it doesn't feel right anymore."
Clara sighed. "I was so just sure of us when we left home. Now, I don't know if there's an ‘us' anymore. And it hurts." She pressed her hand to her chest. While the pain was mental, that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
Tracy took her hand. "It'll all work out like it's supposed to. You'll see." Clara smiled at her friends, thankful for their support and understanding. It made navigating this thing called life so much easier. She lay her head back and closed her eyes, trying to plan what she'd say to Anthony when she saw him. It was going to be a tough conversation but it had to be done.
23. A HEART TO HEART
Anthony stood by the baggage claim, his hands in his pockets as the girls approached. Denise and Clara had parted ways with the other girls at the airport in Tennessee, promising to text as soon as they all landed. Clara shot them a text and smiled slightly. Even with everything that had happened over the summer, it had been good to spend it with her best friends. She threw an arm around Denise and smiled at Anthony as they approached. He pointed at the baggage carousel. "We need to wait for anything?" Both girls nodded, so Anthony planted himself near it, ready to grab whatever they told him to. Clara wrapped her arms around him from behind and gave him a quick hug. She felt tears prick her eyes. She was going to miss this.
Once both duffels were in hand, Anthony walked the girls to the car and tossed the bags in the trunk. He'd driven Clara's little red beater car, the one she'd had since high school. He didn't have a car of his own out there, usually catching a ride with one of the guys or borrowing theirs, so Clara had let him use her car for the summer. He slapped the steering wheel as she climbed in. "Ran great the whole time you were gone."
Clara nodded. "Good. I was hoping she would." She felt awkward, knowing that soon she was going to break his heart.
He drove to Denise's place first, one of the sorority houses near campus. As Denise climbed out of the car, she hugged Clara from behind.
"Thanks for the eventful summer. See you later." She waved as they drove off, her duffel clutched in one hand.
Anthony glanced at Clara, then back at the road. "What was that about?"
Clara bit her lip, knowing he wasn't going to like her response. "Oh, nothing really. We solved a murder or two at the camp."
Clara saw his hands tighten on the wheel, the knuckles going white. "A murder?"
"Or two. Apparently, a girl disappeared last year. A counselor. This year, her body was found. There was a van wreck and one of the girls ended up in a coma." As Clara launched into the story of what had happened over the summer, Anthony seemed to relax. Sure, he didn't like that she got involved in these things, but he knew, like her mother did, that this was what she liked to do.
When she finished, he gave her a small smile-one that didn't fully reach his eyes. "Sounds like you were busy. Did you have any fun at all?"
Clara laughed and held her sides. "I did. The whole summer was fun. A little sad, but still fun."
He nodded and pulled into the parking garage for her apartment. "Kiki misses you."
Clara rubbed her hands together. "I can't wait to see her. How was she?"
"Well-behaved. It was nice staying at your place. Now I have to go back to living in a house full of dudes." He waggled his eyebrows at her, making her giggle.
"You chose that."
He nodded, then climbed out of the car and helped her with the duffel bag. He carried it up to the apartment for her and unlocked the door. Kiki jumped on him as soon as he was inside, then saw Clara and abandoned him to jump on her.
"Oh, I see how it is. Mommy's home and I'm chopped liver."
Clara laughed and knelt to scratch Kiki's body. Her silky fur slid through Clara's fingers with ease. "I missed you, pretty girl." Kiki's pink and black tongue licked Clara's face, making her wince. "Oh, your breath. What have you been eating?"
"Dog food. Scout's honor." Anthony held a hand against his heart.
Clara snorted at him. "Were you even a scout?"
He shook his head, chuckling. "No, I wasn't. But I wanted to be."
Clara stood, stretching, her body shaking with laughter. "Of course you did." The laughter died on her lips as she realized now was the time. She needed to say what she had to say before she lost her nerve. She took a quick breath, licking her dry lips. "Anthony, we need to talk." She motioned to the couch and waited for him to sit before sitting next to him and taking his hands in hers. "I've had this whole summer to think and I feel like maybe it's time we took a break."
His shoulders sagge
d, the hope that had been on his face gone. "You want to break up?"
She nodded, the tears threatening to fall. "I do. I just don't feel like this is fair to you, to make you wait for me when I'm not ready. I don't know that I ever will be again. I feel like we're drifting in opposite directions. I don't want to force you to wait for me. It's not fair to you."
Pulling one hand free from her, he cupped her chin with it. "I'll always love you, Clara. Always. No matter who else I date or even marry, a piece of me will always belong to you. You know that, right?"
She nodded, her tears falling now. "I'll always love you too. I just don't think I can be the person you need. I think we should pursue other options for ourselves."
He leaned in, kissing her softly on her lips, then placed a kiss on her forehead. "I know you're right. Doesn't mean I like it."
She reached into her pocket and pulled out her engagement ring on a silver chain. At first, she'd worn it around her neck, but as it became more apparent that she wasn't going to stay with Anthony, she'd taken it off. "This belongs to you."
He pushed it away, back into her hand. "Keep it. I bought it for you. I could never give it to anyone else."
"But you could pawn it or resell it and use the money for school."
He shook his head. "If you give it to me, I won't do any of those things. It'll sit in my drawer gathering dust forever. Keep it as a memento of us." He stood and rubbed his thumb along her cheek one last time before heading to the door. With a final pat on Kiki's head, and one glance back at Clara, he was gone, shutting the door behind him. Clara curled up on the couch, clutching the ring to her chest, letting the sobs envelop her. Though she knew she'd done the right thing, it still hurt. And he was right. She'd always love him.
***
Clara sat in the Evidence room with Morgan, tapping her shoe on the floor as she waited. Morgan read a newspaper, his steely eyes scanning the pages, the lights shining off his bald head. He glanced at Clara's foot, then up at Clara. "What's gotten into you?"
Clara sighed and stood. "I don't know. I'm nervous."
Morgan closed the paper and turned his full attention on her. For anyone else, that would be intimidating. Morgan was a big dude, tall, broad, and dark. When he smiled, his whole face changed, lighting up. Right now, though, he looked annoyed as he waited for Clara to continue. "About?"
Clara blew out a breath. "I'm going to ask Will out."
Morgan blinked several times, confused. "Ask Will out. Like on a date?"
Clara nodded, biting her lip. "Yeah, I am."
"What about Anthony?"
"I broke up with him." Clara winced at the words, the wound still fresh.
"Are you sure you're ready to dive into another relationship so soon?"
Clara gulped, paling. "What?"
Morgan spread his hands, trying to make his voice soothing. "It's just that your breakup with Anthony is fresh. And even if you broke up with Anthony so you could date Will, which I suspect is what you did, you still need time to heal from that pain. Jumping into another relationship isn't going to lessen that pain. You need to deal with it first."
Clara gave him a quizzical look. "I should just make you my therapist." She blew out a breath. "You're right. It's not fair to Will for me to jump right into something with him. Maybe I do need some time alone." She glanced at her watch. "In that case, wanna go to dinner tonight with me and Will and Harry?"
Morgan cracked a smile. "Of course I would. Where are we going?"
As Clara told him about a local burger joint she wanted to go to, Will and Harry walked into the room, talking with their heads bent together. They stopped when they saw Clara, matching smiles on their faces. Will pulled her into a hug first, squeezing her tight. "You're back. How was it?"
Harry hugged her next. "Yeah, how was camp?"
Clara laughed, then launched into the story of the murders. Both guys looked shocked, their mouths falling open. Will placed a hand on her shoulder. The skin underneath her shirt tingled at his touch. "Clara, you went to summer camp. How did you find a murder at summer camp?"
She grinned up at him. "I'm good like that." She frowned, realizing his typically unruly red hair was tamed. "You cut your hair?"
He patted the top of his head, his cheeks reddening. "I did. Do you like it?"
Clara nodded, uncertain. "It's different."
Harry nudged Will. "Told you she wouldn't like it."
Will sighed. "But Margie likes it."
Clara's heart stopped and dropped to her feet. "Margie?"
"Yeah, Will's new girlfriend." Harry nudged Will again, not noticing how pale Clara had become.
Clara tried to swallow, her mouth suddenly dry. "You have a girlfriend?" She didn't look at Morgan, knowing that he'd already known this fact and had tried to save her from getting hurt. Thank goodness she hadn't asked Will out on a date.
Will nodded, his face lighting up. "Yeah, she's pretty great. We met right after you left, at a party someone threw."
Clara snorted. "You went to a party?"
Will rolled his eyes. "I do go out sometimes."
Clara nodded and gave him a tight smile. "I know you do." She clapped her hands together, recovering from her shock. "How about you tell me about it over dinner? Harry? Morgan? Food?" They all three nodded. Morgan went to lock up as his relief walked in and gave them a nod. The group headed out, Clara's heart in shambles in her chest.
Over juicy burgers and greasy fries, Will told Clara about Margie. Harry helped with the story, having heard it so many times. "I was by the punch bowl and ended up serving everyone drinks because people kept asking me to. Margie came over, brown hair curled and pinned up. She grabbed me, pretending to know me and claiming to need me right then. Yanked me away from the bowl before I could pour another drink. We spent the rest of the night out on the balcony, talking. It was amazing."
"Don't forget what you did to her dress," Harry chimed in from beside him.
Will blushed and looked down at his burger. "I may have spilled my drink on her dress. I felt like such an idiot. She smiled, brushed it off, and said my drink was the same color as her dress so no one would be able to tell."
"And you guys have a lot in common?" Clara popped another fry into her mouth, munching on it to distract her from her feelings.
"We do. She's in law school, so she loves hearing my cop stories. We debate stuff all the time, which is so much fun." He smiled through the whole dinner, so much so that Clara thought his face had to hurt.
"What about your dog? Do they get along?" Clara knew that Will had adopted Kiki's mom after Anthony told him about her. Will and his dog were inseparable.
For the first time, Will frowned. "She says she's allergic to dogs so I haven't introduced them yet. We've only really hung out at her place, not mine." Then he brightened, his smile returning. "But she did say last week that she's going to talk to her doctor about what she can take so she can be around her."
Clara nodded, her heart sinking even lower. "She sounds amazing. I can't wait to meet her." The words tasted bitter in her mouth. She'd rather do anything else than meet Margie.
"Great. How about dinner tomorrow night? You can bring Anthony." Will winked at her, reminding her of the terrible double date she'd set him up on last fall.
Clara sighed. "Sadly, it would be just me. Anthony and I broke up."
Harry's fork clattered to his plate. Apparently, some people ate fries with forks, which Clara had never seen before. "You did what?"
Will leaned forward, concern on his face. "But you two are a super couple. Why would you break up?"
Clara gave him a sad smile. She wanted so much to tell him that it was partly for him, that she couldn't be with Anthony while she thought about Will. However, she didn't want to burst his bubble or steal his happiness. Instead, she said, "I felt we needed a real break. This half-in-half-out thing wasn't working for me and I'm not even sure I want to marry him anymore. I couldn't put that ring back on and that says somethin
g. I don't want him to wait for something that may never happen. It's not fair to him."
"How did he take it?" Harry picked his fork back up and stabbed it into another fry. Morgan raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing.
"Pretty well, I think. Said he'd always love me. Told me to keep the ring. I believe him. I do think he'll always love me but I think there's someone else out there whom he'll love more than me one day." Clara looked down at her glass, her heart hurting all over again at the memory.
Will reached out a hand and took hers in his. "It will be okay. You'll be okay." Clara looked up at him and smiled. She appreciated the thought, even if it didn't feel right at the moment.
Harry cleared his throat and looked between the two of them. Will let go of her hand and returned to eating his burger. "So, Clara, any new dating prospects?"
Clara grimaced internally and looked over at Morgan. He shook his head and looked pointedly at his food. Clara leaned back, rubbing her stomach. "Not right now. I think I'm going to do the single thing for a while, let myself heal."
Harry nodded. "Well, if you ever need a hot date, I'm all yours."
Clara burst out laughing and watched as Will kicked Harry under the table. Morgan shook his head. "If anyone is going to be her hot date, it'll be me."
Harry looked at Morgan in surprise. "Aren't you a little old for her?"
Morgan grinned. "Maybe. But it'll keep away all the undesirables. Better yet, I'll just be her wingman."
Clara leaned on Morgan's arm and patted it. "Oh thank you, brave sir. I appreciate the offer." She winked at Harry, making him smile wider.
Will ate quietly, his eyes on his plate. Harry tried to engage with him, but Will seemed distant now, distracted. Once they'd all paid and were leaving, Will waved off Harry and Morgan and walked Clara to her car. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, he looked younger and more vulnerable. When they reached her car, he stopped and turned to her. "Are you sure you're okay?"
She nodded, her keys in her hand. "I will be. It'll take time."