by Eden French
Because it’s home.
As the car continued to the airport, Carson swiped through his phone. His Twitter was blowing up about the show’s return. Should he send a Tweet? Probably, but it didn’t matter. None of it did anymore. Instead, he turned it off and slipped the phone back into his pocket without even a single retweet.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Brand lay on his bed and covered his head with the pillow. His body weighed down by an invisible hand, threatening to fully crush his heart. Not that he needed help with that. Carson pretty much crushed every bit of love he had left. At least this time he knew why.
He groaned into his pillow. Carson wouldn’t be coming back, he was sure of it. His cell phone rang, and he threw the pillow off his face. He sat up and grabbed the phone from a pile of dirty clothes. Sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, he found a half-empty wine bottle propped up against the nightstand. Uncorking it with his teeth, he took a long swig and spit it back in when his stomach heaved. Gross. He’d slept through the entire morning and afternoon after drinking nearly two bottles of wine by himself after Carson left last night. He glanced at the clock. It was after 5:00 p.m. On the fifth ring, he picked up the phone.
“Are you okay? I just checked my texts, and there are like fifty incoherent messages from you. What happened last night?”
“He left. That’s what happened. He fucking left me, Ry. Again.”
“What do you mean? Did he say he didn’t want to be with you?”
As the previous night’s events flashed through his mind, Brand was quiet.
“Well, not necessarily.”
“What does that mean?”
Silence.
“What happened exactly? You better start talking, West.”
Her tone was stern. Like how it sounded when she was about to tear him a new one and he was in no mood for a verbal beating. He sighed.
“We’d just finished dinner and were sitting on the couch… talking.”
“Mm-hmm, sure you were.”
He ignored the comment. He didn’t have time to defend himself. He was ready to get straight to the pity party.
“Whatever. We were talking, and he got a phone call from his agent, the show is back on I guess, and just like that… gone.”
Ryan was quiet on the other end for a moment before speaking. “He just got up and left. Said ‘Sorry, Brand, the past few weeks have been fun, but my heart’s in LA. See ya.’ It doesn’t make sense.”
Brand pinched the bridge of his nose. “Well, not exactly. It was more like he agreed to return for the show, and then I told him to leave.”
Ryan’s sigh vibrated through the phone. “So basically what you’re telling me is that the man of your dreams, your apparent soul mate, agreed he’d return to work, and you told him to get lost. Does that cover it?”
His head began to throb. “When you say it like that, you make me sound like a douche.”
“Well, you’re certainly acting like one.”
“He was going to leave me again, Ry!”
“For work, you idiot. Not for forever. And not because he stopped loving you.”
“He has an entire life there that doesn’t include me.”
“Fucking hell, West. Are you telling me that the one person you’ve spent the past seven years pining over, the same person who came back to fight for a second chance, acted like a responsible adult, and you jumped ship? Seriously, what is wrong with you? Did you have a brain aneurysm last night or something?”
The reality of her words sunk in and choked him. Holy hell. She was right. He had sent the one man he had ever loved away. What the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn’t eighteen anymore, why had he acted like an irrational child? His shallow breaths grew louder and louder as the panic set in.
“Calm down, West. Breathe.”
He looked at the clock. It was five thirty-five. Had Carson left yet?
“Shit, what do I do, Ry? How can I make this right?”
“Go. Just go. Call him, tell him you made a mistake, lost your mind, anything… then call me back.”
He hung up the phone and dialed Carson’s number. He scoured his room for clean clothes as the number connected.
“Shit!” he yelled when the call went directly to voice mail. Had he already boarded a plane? Where was he even flying out of?
He pulled on a pair of jeans and threw on a light green thermal. He tugged on his boots, without socks, and hurried to the front of the cabin. He dialed Cassie’s number.
“Brand?” Cassie said nervously. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey, Cass. Is Car still there? I really need to speak to him.”
He grabbed his coat. Propping the phone between his shoulder and ear, he pulled it on.
“I… I’m sorry, Brand. He left about thirty minutes ago.”
“Shit. Oh, sorry… do you have his flight info?”
“I… uh, why?”
“Cass, I have to see him before he leaves.”
Her breathing echoed over the line. “Brand, are you sure this is what you want? Can he make you happy?”
“Cass, I love him. I’ve loved him since I knew what love was. Please. I’m begging you. I was a fucking idiot last night, I… I just need to see him before he leaves.”
“Okay, let me look.”
Brand grabbed his keys and walked to the front door. If he had to drive down to Hollywood, he’d do it. He opened the door. “Cass, I—”
Carson was standing on his porch.
“Here it is, Brand. He’s set to take a flight out of Reno at seven forty-five.”
He barely heard the words.
“Brand? Brand? Did you get that?”
He shook his head. “Yeah, um, thanks. I have to go.” He hung up the phone before she could respond.
They stared at each other as Brand’s heart thundered in his chest, and Carson held up his cell.
“I was just about to call… and remembered that I turned my phone off. I, um, I couldn’t leave things the way they were,” Carson said. “I left once before, and it nearly killed me. I… I don’t want that to happen to us.”
Brand reached out and wrapped his hand around the back of Carson’s neck. He pulled him forward and kissed him full on the mouth. Carson let his bags fall off his shoulders and held Brand’s face in his hands. Brand’s heart pounded through his chest the moment their lips met. Holy shit. How had he thought letting this man go was the right thing to do? He belonged with Carson, for better or worse. Far too soon, he pulled away and studied Carson’s eyes.
“I shouldn’t have sent you away, Car. It was immature. Reactive. Completely irrational. I should’ve just taken a minute and listened.”
“If you need me to quit my life, to leave the show behind, to prove to you I’m in this with you 100 percent, I will. It’s done. Don’t care about the show. Not more than you.” A tear slipped down Carson’s cheek. Brand stopped it with his lips.
“No, no. Listen, last night, I was wrong. I was scared. All the insecurities I felt when we were kids ages ago came flooding back, and I… freaked out. I’m so sorry. I want you to be successful. I want you to do the show. We’ll just have to figure out all the logistics, and I don’t know how it’ll all work… but I want you, and if I can’t see you all the time, hell, I’ll deal with that. There’s so much I don’t know….” He paused. “But there’s a few things I’m certain of. I know I need you in my life. I know I love you. And I know you love me.”
“Oh God, I love you so much.” Carson took Brand’s face in his hands and kissed him hard.
He pushed Brand backward until they were both in the cabin, leaving his luggage on the porch, and slammed the door closed with his foot. Brand’s heart soared. Would it be that easy? Could every ridiculous thing he’d said last night be forgiven and forgotten just like that? He hoped so. Because not only was he truly sorry, he’d never make the same mistake again. He was ready for their future, whatever that was.
Brand’s body was vib
rating with every brush of Carson’s lips. How could someone feel so good? He hurried to remove Carson’s coat and shirt. He unbuttoned each button with expertise and pushed it open, exposing his smooth lean chest. He bent down and kissed the width of its hard surface. He circled down around Carson’s pec and took a nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue.
He tasted like home.
Carson arched forward and ran his hands through Brand’s hair then down to his shoulders to push off his coat. He found the bottom of the thermal shirt, and Brand leaned back just enough to let Carson pull the thick shirt over his head. As soon as the garment was on the floor, Brand bent forward to take the other nipple into his mouth.
“Oh God, yes, that feels so good.” Carson moaned as Brand suckled the nub.
Brand kissed his way up to Carson’s mouth and released a low groan when Carson traced the line of his jaw with his tongue, taking a nibble every now and then.
“Come with me,” Brand said in a low voice.
He took Carson’s hand and led him to the bedroom closing the door behind them. Pulling Carson close, Brand pressed his body against his, Carson’s cock smashed up against his own erection. A guttural moan escaped Brand’s throat when Carson slid his hands between them and rubbed over the front of Brand’s jeans.
Brand hesitated. “What about your flight? Cass said you were scheduled to leave tonight. What about your agent?”
Carson smiled. His hands found the waistline of Brand’s jeans and unbuttoned them. He slowly lowered the zipper and pushed them down off Brand’s hips until they fell to the floor.
“The flight can wait. I’m needed here.”
Emotion overwhelmed Brand and threatened to crush him. Somehow life had decided to give him everything he’d ever wanted, and he would do everything humanly possible to hold onto it. Brand pulled Carson into him. He rubbed his cock against Carson, not caring how wantonly desperate he appeared. He was desperate. Desperate to join their bodies and be one.
The sound of a pager beeped through the room.
“Shit,” Brand cursed under his breath, his body stiffening. “I don’t believe it.”
Carson’s eyes crinkled at the sides in confusion. “What’s that? What’s going on?”
Brand rolled his shoulders and, after tugging up his pants, went over to his dresser and picked up the pager from off of the top. He checked it briefly before picking up his cell. “Car, I’ve got to call back. It’s the station. A county-wide emergency call. It rarely happens. It means something big has happened.” He tapped the phone screen a few times. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“No, don’t worry. This is import—”
“West here.” He walked over to his closet and retrieved his duffel. “Uh-huh. Yeah, I’m on my way.” He hung up and slipped the phone in his back pocket. “I’m so sorry,” he said as he walked over to Carson and took him into his arms. “There’s a pile up on the 50. It’s pretty bad. Some fatalities. Emergency vehicles were en route when another multiple injury accident occurred blocking the road. They’re calling in all available responders to help. I’ve got to go.”
He planted a full kiss on Carson’s lips, pulling his body flush against his. Heat seared between their bodies. “Please stay. It may be awhile, but I’ll call with updates. It shouldn’t be an all-nighter. Most likely, I’ll get there and will be dismissed.”
Carson held Brand’s face in between his hands. “I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just make myself at home. Besides, I’ve got plenty of my own clean-up to do. My agent is going to flip when she discovers I missed my flight.”
Brand leaned in for one more quick kiss. “I’ll try to be home as soon as I can.”
Carson followed him as he walked to the front door. “Be careful, Brand,” he called after him as he stepped onto the porch.
Brand turned around and met his gaze. Love for the man standing in his doorway filled every inch of his body. “I always am,” he replied with a wink. “I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.”
He turned and headed out into the snowy evening.
Chapter Thirty-Five
A quick stop at the station and Brand joined the rig James drove, as they headed toward the accident. A new, stronger drift had begun, and visibility was decreasing minute by minute. Brand double-checked his equipment as James drove as fast as he dared in the increasingly dangerous weather.
His stomach twisted. In his years with the fire district, he’d been lucky enough to never have attended a major event. Sure, he’d handled the occasional seasonal ski accident, drunken boating mishaps, unprepared tourists succumbing to heatstroke in the high elevation during a hike, but nothing, nothing like he was about to respond to tonight. A massive pileup with multiple casualties.
The slow speed that James took the corners at was excruciating. It would be useless to go any faster. James was experienced, he knew how to safely navigate through inclement weather. They’d be no help to anyone if they never made it to the site of the accident due to careless driving.
“Medic Four, what’s your ETA?” Dispatch crackled over the radio.
Brand picked up the mic. “Dispatch, this is Medic Four. We’re en route and approximately two miles from the scene.”
“Affirmative. Will inform officers on site. Please proceed with caution. The weather’s taking a turn.”
“Will do. Over.”
“Over and out.”
The radio went quiet, and the silence hung in the cab of the rig.
“James, you ever worked an accident this bad?”
James kept his eyes on the road ahead. “You remember that rockslide at the summit about ten years ago?”
Brand nodded. “Yeah, the one that closed the road for two days. You were there? Man, I was still in high school at the time.”
James shook his head. “Smartass. It was my first year working medic.”
“There were a couple of fatalities if I remember correctly.”
“Married couple. Husband and wife. Got caught up in the slide, a boulder caught their car side. Died on impact. By the time we got to the scene, there were only bodies to collect.”
Brand swallowed hard.
“Prepare yourself, West. This is a similar deal. There are already seven known fatalities. Several more severe injuries. Snow only adds to the danger. This is a triage situation. Turn off the emotion and turn on the machine.”
Brand nodded. He and James often talked about how flipping the switch on their feelings helped them become more efficient when the pressure was on. It was a coping mechanism that enabled Brand to perform in stressful situations. But this one? This one would surpass any emergency he’d been called on before.
Visibility was low, but Brand knew the accident was just ahead. Emergency lights flashed in the distance, and James slowed as the rig approached the scene. Brand sucked in his breath as the pile of cars came into vision. Jesus, what was he looking at? The chaos in front of him didn’t make sense. He swallowed. A measured breath put him in the mindset he needed to assess what he was seeing.
Nine cars created a twisted mass of metal and spanned over both lanes, completely blocking the road. First responders scattered across the road, attending to the victims spread over the triage area. A woman screamed for help. A child cried in the arms of a police officer. And amid the chaos, along the shoulder, white sheets covered bodies. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven black tags. Shit. This was worse than he thought.
Brand’s heart sped. “My God,” he whispered.
James sucked in a sharp breath and threw the rig into Park. “Let’s do this,” he said as he turned off the vehicle and gestured to where the incident command was set up. With a quick nod, Brand unbuckled his seat belt and headed out into the snowy disaster.
Chapter Thirty-Six
“No, Cynthia, I know how important this is.” Carson sat on the couch with his phone resting on the cushion next to him as he spoke with his agent on speaker.
; “Do you, Carson? Because production is set to resume in three days, and if your ass is not here, I have no idea what the producers will do. This whole writer’s strike put them in a pissy mood, and I can’t protect you, or your job, if you aren’t here.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. I… I just need a few more days. But I’ll be there, I promise.”
Cynthia’s breath fumed through the receiver. “What the hell is so important you can’t be here tonight?”
Carson closed his eyes. “The question’s not a what, Cyn. It’s a who. Who is so important?” He paused and waited for her to explode. He didn’t have to wait long.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? Are you even trying to tell me the reason you’re not flying home this very moment is because of some piece of ass?”
He took a deep breath before responding, willing his anger down. “Let’s get a few things straight, Cynthia. I did not stay here because of some piece of ass. I stayed because, for some reason, I’ve been given a second chance to make things right, to finally be happy… to have love. I stayed because although I have a career in Hollywood, my heart, my home, is here in Tahoe. And if staying here an extra couple of days gets me fired, or sued, or whatever, then so be it. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Silence.
When she spoke, her voice was quieter, calmer. “Carson, just hold on a second. Slow down. No one’s talking fired. Jesus. All I’m saying is that I’ve known you for nearly six years, and in that time, you’ve never expressed interest in anyone. You’ve never talked about anyone back home, you’ve never shown interest in any of the women I’ve tried to set you up with or even so much as flirted with your groupies. Nothing. So I’m just a little floored by the fact that you’re now suddenly so involved with someone who you’re willing to put your entire career on the line for.” She paused. The silence was less electric. He waited.