by Seth Barder
Josh followed Driton outside. With the exception of Tiffany’s front door Josh made it to the sidewalk by timing doors just right. He wasn’t sure if he could go through them on his own and his only resource was already walking two steps ahead of him. He was glad to be outside though. Not only because he felt so uncomfortable in that condo, but also he was learning to really appreciate the day.
The early morning sun peeked through the smallest openings between the buildings, brilliant rays shined between them. It was the first time Josh noticed he no longer felt the warmth of the sun every time he passed by them. He found he no longer felt much else either. He didn't feel hungry or tired, even though he hadn't eaten for quite some time. He thought it remarkable they'd walked so far but his legs didn’t ache. He thought about how bad his knees had been getting. He hadn’t considered himself old but his body told him differently. Now there was nothing. His knees felt just as limber as they did when he was a kid. Josh had to look around for a second to be sure this wasn’t heaven. No, this was earth all right. If this wasn’t heaven and his body did this well, he wondered what it would be like when he got there. He could run for miles without stopping. He could see heaven in a matter of months, depending on how big it was. Josh looked up at the blue sky. He almost didn't care anymore where they were going; he was ready to go into glory.
His wish didn’t come right away. They continued walking for what seemed like hours. Driton led Josh out of the city and into the suburbs that sat comfortably on the outskirts. The houses there looked worn from years of neglect and abuse. The “yard” in front of some houses had little grass patches here and there. Others had no grass at all. The sidewalks too looked aged. Grass grew out from those that had cracked and few were level any more. Some rose up an inch, mostly in places near the large oak or maple trees that lined each side of the road.
Josh became bored with so much walking, seeing things he’d seen so many times before. He thought they would’ve been there by now. He looked behind from where they’d come. The city was too far now he couldn’t see it. He tried to keep his mind preoccupied on good and joyful things. He looked up. A canopy of leaved branches stretched over him. He imagined what the neighborhood looked like before it went to ruin. A breeze blew the leaves helping them wave back and forth. Josh heard birds calling to each other from all over. He tried to guess what kind each one might be, but his knowledge of birds was about as good as his knowledge of life after death. He desperately wished he could feel it all, the cool concrete under his bare feet, the breeze blowing lightly in his stubby hair, and the sun tickling his skin as it passed through the leaves. He had taken so much for granted when he was alive. He’d always meant to take time to enjoy these kinds of things but thought there was never enough time. How he wished he could experience it again. If he ever got the chance he’d make sure he’d find the time, even if it were for a moment.
Josh’s preoccupation must have helped. He hadn’t noticed Driton finally stop. He was looking at a large church across the street. The sign in front said services started at 10:30 AM. The vehicles in the parking lot and the scarcity of their owners caused Josh to assume it was around that time. What did Driton expect to show him at a house of God, a rather grand house of God at that? It was a large brick building covering several acres. The parking lot itself was huge with nearly all parking spaces filled. Driton wasted little time looking and started over with Josh close behind. They walked up to the double glass doors when Driton paused to look at Josh.
“Um. This might be a bit of a shock, but don't worry, nothing else can happen to you now.”
Driton said not to worry, but just by him saying it, coupled with what he said afterwards, made Josh worry.
“…‘bit of a shock'?” Josh thought to himself.
What could be worse than seeing a half-naked woman being breathed on by some vile creature she had no idea was there? Would he be attacked? Could he be attacked? Was there an exorcist behind these doors who, after sensing Josh, would say some holy words casting Josh back to hell? Josh looked intently through the glass doors trying to see what was on the other side. He wanted to prepare himself. Not seeing anyone, or anything, waiting for him on the green carpet in the foyer he took a deep breath and held his jaw tight.
Driton, again, placed his hand gently in the middle of Josh's back and urged him forward. Again, instantly, they were inside the church. The lush green carpet covered the entire floor setting snug against the brick. The ceiling was strangely high for a foyer. A single white fan hung from the middle of the ceiling. It looked small compared to the large room. To the right was the women's bathroom and just beyond that a hallway with children’s crafts up and down the wall as far as he could see. A sign on the wall said “Children’s Sunday school classes” with an arrow pointing in that direction. To the left were the men's bathroom and another hallway. Directly ahead of them was a set of wooden doors leading into the sanctuary, slender glass windows met in the middle giving a preview of what was beyond.
Driton and Josh walked towards the sanctuary doors. Josh could hear the preacher giving a rousing sermon on the other side. The preacher would loudly proclaim something, his voice thundering throughout both the sanctuary and foyer. The audience would respond by agreeing just as boisterous. At the doors Josh didn't wait for Driton to usher him in, this time he simply walked, trusting he wouldn’t smack the door with his face.
There were a lot of people in the audience, all of different ethnicities. Some stood clapping their hands or speaking in some language Josh couldn’t understand. Others sat in their chairs yelling praises to God, or praying quietly to God. Josh smiled, he was glad to see so many people fired-up for the Lord. He looked up at the high ceilings, even higher than the foyer. He imagined all their praises floating up to God. He let his guard down a little more.
“This church is doing well.” Josh thought happily, “It’s what this world needs to see. A real authentic Christian church to show others what He’ll do when they follow the Lord with all their heart.”
Josh wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be shocked about. Maybe Driton felt Josh was too conservative and would turn up his nose at this kind of worshiping. But Josh didn’t mind that anymore. He welcomed it, so long as they preached Jesus as their only way to salvation.
The preacher walked back and forth in front of the congregation yelling into the microphone the people’s need for a Savior, only pausing for a moment to dab his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. The energy was very infectious and Josh was getting into it.
“Amen, Brother!” he yelled out along with the rest of the congregation after the preacher said Jesus died them.
Josh wanted Driton to see how he embraced this type of worship. A little pride even welled up inside him, being able to prove an angel wrong made Josh feel a little smug. Josh clapped his hands when the congregation did, he listened to the preacher some more then yelled out another “Amen” after the preacher told the people to. He looked at Driton with a big smile and urged him to join in. Driton stood there only half smiling, mainly for Josh’s benefit. He was happy Josh was happy, but there was something else too.
“Alright, alright,” the preacher tried to calm the congregation down. “Now,” he walked back up on stage to his podium, “Phew!” he wiped his forehead again with the handkerchief, “I can feel the Holy Spirit in the room can't you!?”
With that the audience was roused once more standing, clapping, and speaking out in more of that language Josh had only heard a few times before now. Josh yelled out an Amen and clapped his hands, thoroughly enjoying this service. Whatever it was Driton thought would shock him, didn’t. Josh felt he was really maturing as a spirit himself.
“I don't get it,” Josh finally said to Driton as the preacher went on, “what am I supposed to be shocked about?” he hadn’t taken his eyes off the preacher nor stopped his clapping.
Driton didn’t answer right away. He waited, staring straight ahead and down the isle that led to the stage. He was
waiting for something. Then, when he saw it, he pointed towards the preacher and said, “There.”
Josh followed Driton’s finger to the stage. Directly behind the preacher stood something that certainly didn't look like an angel and it definitely wasn’t the Holy Spirit the preacher claimed to feel a moment ago. Josh went silent. The joyful smile he had on his face left, replaced with the look of shock.
The demon was different from the others Josh had seen. This one was thinner with barely any meat under its brownish skin but looked strong. It was taller, standing a shoulder-length above the preacher’s head. One hand held onto the preacher’s shoulder as if making it easier to direct him the way it wanted him to go, and the preacher willingly yielded to its touch like a puppet doing the will of its master. The demon whispered something to the preacher, who immediately spoke into the microphone. Josh was too hung up on this turn of events that he only heard a few words, something about Jesus he was sure but nothing he could put together. Then the demon held up its hands to the ceiling, smiling as it did, knowing the preacher did the same causing the crowd to erupt in shouts, claps, and more unrecognizable language. The demon whispered something in the preacher’s ear again then placed its other hand on his shoulder.
“Oh, I can feel the Holy Spirit!” the preacher said, almost crying. “Thank you Jesus!”
The rest of the sermon, the congregation, and everything else related to the worship was a blur to Josh. He stood there motionless, feeling betrayed. All of his enthusiasm felt drained from his body. None of this seemed possible, at least not in a church. It contradicted everything he believed. He looked around the sanctuary again as though a veil had been lifted from his eyes. He saw demons in the pews next to their victims. Josh didn’t know for sure but he envisioned each of them being told what to think and what to believe is true. Quite possibly they were told to stand up, make some noise, and raise their hands, believing it was the Holy Spirit directing them. Josh wanted to yell out. To tell the congregation they were being deceived. But who would believe him? They couldn’t see what was sitting next to them. To them, God was directing their actions, and they were more than willing to let go, to do whatever they were told.
Intermingled with the crowd of demons and humans Josh saw flashes of bright white clothing. The angels looked like they too were whispering in their human’s ears or comforting those they sat next to. Other angels were smiling endearingly at the human they were near as they praised and worshipped God. The angels didn’t seem to bother the demons, they stayed more focused on the human they were with.
Josh closed his eyes and shook his head, the look of shock still not having left his face, “This…this…,” he was beside himself with unbelief, “How can this be? Demons aren't allowed in church.”
“Let's talk outside,” Driton suggested ushering Josh out of the sanctuary.
In the foyer Josh continued his fit.
“How can demons be allowed into a holy place like the church? It doesn’t seem…,” he searched for the correct term, “…logical.” Was all he could think of. “Demons aren't supposed to be allowed in church. There's like a…law or something isn't there? I mean, isn't there?” Josh paced the green carpet not waiting for an answer, “I mean…,” immediately he stopped pacing and looked at Driton, “This is a Christian church right? Not some church devoted to Satan!?”
“Yes,” Driton assured, half smiling from Josh’s bewilderment, “this is a Christian church.”
Josh’s frustration escalated, “How can it be!? Didn’t you see the demons in there!? I sure did.” He said pointing towards the sanctuary then at himself, “And, and what about those angels? Why didn't they do anything? Why? I mean...why...?” Josh was suddenly lost for words, he’d exhausted every question he could think of at that moment.
With Josh at a loss, Driton finally spoke up, “It's not their job.” He said simply.
“Job!?” Josh didn't follow but Driton’s answer gave renewed strength to his dismay, “What do you mean 'job'? Their job is to protect humans...!”
“An angel's job is to follow God's commands. God puts certain parameters here on earth that every angel and demon has to follow. As a result, we get what you'd consider a 'job'.”
“What,” Josh just couldn't believe it, “so those in there are, like, a good conscious and bad conscious?”
“Not really…that’d just be ridiculous. Angels and demons have certain functions in this world, I just used the word ‘job’ hoping it would be easier for you to understand.” Driton looked at Josh’s face, “Obviously I was wrong. Look, this building may be a place where Christians gather to meet, but it doesn’t mean there’s some kind of protective barrier around it that demons can’t cross. The barrier they have is the human heart, and they can only cross that if allowed. If a demon can persuade a human to let them in, they can go anywhere they are, even in a building like this.”
“But the preacher…,” Josh said emphatically.
“—Is no different than any human. He allowed sin to take control of him and, in turn, a demon to take hold of his life.”
“What about the angels?” Josh was calming down a bit.
“Just because those at the top are being led astray doesn’t mean the whole congregation is too. What’s truly in the heart is what matters. Those people you saw are genuine. They’re not without sin, but they recognize their need to depend on Him for everything but, as all humans do, sometimes have fears and anxieties about what His will is for their life. The angels are sent there to comfort them while they wait for Him to take action.”
“But...the church...it's....”
“So big? Just because a church is large doesn't always mean God is blessing it. The devil can bless too. Don't you remember the story in your Bible about Jesus being tempted?”
“Well yeah. The devil told Jesus he’d give him the whole world.”
“Right, good. Satan offered Jesus the whole world if He would worship him. The whole world,” Driton stressed again. “If he has the power to give the whole world to whomever he chooses, don't you think he has the ability to give a person several acres and a large church to put on it?”
“But doesn’t God have power over the devil?”
“Yes, but if people give in to the persuasion, God has little say. Remember, He wants you to be with Him because you want to, not because He’s forcing you.”
Josh was still a little stunned but it made sense, awful good sense. He thought of the church his family went to when he was a child. He wondered now whether the preacher there was truly genuine. He hoped so. He didn’t want to think of his mother being led by someone who was being led by a demon. He looked at the preacher through the windows in the double doors. He seemed to be bringing his sermon to a close. It made Josh wonder.
“How would’ve I known? How would any of those people know?”
Driton sympathized with Josh’s concern, “It’s difficult to determine. The best advice I could’ve given you when you were alive is to do as Jesus says, ‘seek the kingdom of God.’” Josh looked dumbfounded, like that was the weakest answer he’d ever heard. “Now I know that may sound cliché to you, but God would rather have you focus more on your relationship with Him—is your heart right with Him? Are you doing what He asks of you, having compassion on others who may not deserve it, and so on—than worrying whether the devil’s next to you. It’s no secret the devil’s here, but if you put all your resources into figuring out where he is, you’ll put less effort into seeking the kingdom of God. God knows as you put more effort into seeking Him, everything else will be taken care of.”
Josh was still a little skeptical, “So, what, God wants us to not even think about a demon who may or may not be next to us?”
Driton groaned to himself, “No, no, that’s not what I’m saying at all. There’s nothing wrong with being aware the devil could be near, waiting for the right moment to ‘pounce’, let’s say, Jesus and the Apostles warned the believers of this fact. They did it so Christ
ians wouldn’t get too comfortable, letting their guard down a little. They knew the devil would be just waiting for that day.”
Josh began to have conflicting emotions. On the one hand, he felt he should have just trusted Driton without asking any questions. On the other hand it was difficult for him to comprehend how people aren’t given any warning about what these churches are about or that people are being manipulated or even about how bad hell was. It either didn't make sense to Josh, or he just didn't want to accept Driton had been telling him the truth since the time they met. Josh hated to think his faith was faltering even after everything he’d seen. Truth was, he was hurt that everything he’d seen and known when he was alive was only some kind of shadow to what really went on in the world.
“Are you ready to go now?” Driton asked, trying to be considerate of Josh’s feelings.
Josh was slow to answer but eventually nodded his head and they were off again. Josh didn't speak much again after that. He had a lot weighing on his mind. All those years he believed in a lie. Even now there were so many people that still believed it. Then Josh thought about his daughter. Would she, believing the same lie, be led astray by those kinds of people? What if she were? She’d get sent to hell that’s what would happen. Josh feared for her safety. He thought of all the wicked things the demons would do to her in hell. Now he could think of nothing else but how his daughter was doing. He hadn’t seen her since the courts deemed him unfit. He didn’t know what may be influencing her life. But he was getting desperate to know, and if she was being deceived or manipulated, he had to warn her. He knew she was still young, but he had to do something. But how would he get a message to “the other side”?
He remembered what Driton said about trying to get human’s attention and what happened to the last guy who didn’t believe. Josh didn’t want that to happen to him. But what Josh wanted to do was entirely different than what that man wanted. The man Driton told him about was out to test whether what Driton said was true. It may have been because he tested Driton that caused him to be sent back to hell. Josh, on the other hand, was looking to help someone see they were being deceived. This, in turn, would cause them to turn from evil and further the kingdom of God. Josh couldn’t think of any better Christian attitude than this. How quickly he forgot Driton’s previous advice.
Chapter 7