by Leigh Allen
“I shouldn't want you,” Seth says, his voice low and deep. “I shouldn’t want to hold you and kiss you and make you mine.”
“Why not?” I ask, my eyes never leaving his.
“Because you are too good for me. My past…” he begins, but I cut him off before he can say another word. I will not allow Seth to push me away. Not now. Not after that kiss, we shared.
“Your past is behind you. I am only concerned with the here and now,” I state firmly.
Smiling, Seth pulls my face toward his again and we embrace in another heart-stopping kiss. Sure, I have kissed other boys before. But never in my life have I experienced a kiss this erotic. This heated.
“I can’t let you go now,” Seth says, after he ends our kiss.
“Then don’t,” I breathe.
Seth wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me down onto the soft grass below. We lay there, our hands intertwined as he takes turns kissing and sharing memories from our pasts. It’s crazy how in just one moment, our journey to becoming us began.
14
Seth
“Where have you been?” my mom asks, as I stumble through the door.
It is well past ten at night, but after watching Mia drive away from our spot, I wasn’t ready to head home yet. I drove through the city streets, watching the sunset and the world slow down. Kissing Mia had transformed my entire world. I had been set on sticking with my plan. I was going to help raise Britley’s kid. I would work and stay out of trouble. Now, with Mia in my life, I wasn’t sure how I could possibly explain to her my situation with Britley. Would she even want me anymore if she knew I was about to willingly father a child at seventeen?
“I just drove around. I needed some air,” I said, kissing her on the cheek as she sat in her recliner, watching the evening news.
“Have you heard from your brother? Or Britley?” she asked, not taking her eyes from the television.
“Not this week,” I said, with a shrug of my shoulders.
My oldest brother always wanted to lecture me and Britley, well she was a headache every time I saw her. I was sort of relieved it had been silent these last few days.
“I’m going to bed,” I said, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on my mom’s head, before retreating to my small bedroom.
Closing the door behind me, I fell onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. The room was dark and I didn’t bother to turn the lights on. As I lay there in the silence of the night, I couldn’t get Mia’s face out of my head. She was pure perfection and I didn’t understand why she was so infatuated with me. She could have anyone she wanted. She should have anyone she wanted. Instead, she was lured to me. I knew it was wrong for me to feel this strongly toward her, but I just couldn’t help it. Everything about her made me crave her. That sexy body. Those sky-blue eyes. That smile that could light up the entire world. That heart that looked past the scumbag people perceived me to be. She was everything I never knew I needed and now, I had to find a way to have her in my life without hurting her. I would just have to keep her my little secret for now.
15
Mia
Saturday morning arrives just in time. I was so thankful for a day off of school and the possibility to see Seth again. The past week had gone by like a blur. With Seth still eluding me at school, I had kept to myself and made sure not to listen to any rumors bouncing around.
Isaac had scheduled me to work the morning shift and for the first time ever, I didn’t complain. Usually, I dreaded having to get up early, but knowing Seth was up too, gave me comfort. Once my shift was over, I would see if he wanted to hang out.
All we had done so far was a kiss, but I had a feeling we were about to take this to the next level.
“Mia, hurry up or I will leave without you,” Isaac yelled up to me.
Rolling my eyes, I quickly put on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Even though it was only April, it was already growing warm outside. Rushing down the stairs, I find Isaac waiting by the door with a scowl on his face.
“Geez, calm down. You own the place,” I hissed, as I open the front door and walk outside into the bright sunlight of the early morning.
We hop in his truck and make our way through town. Neither of us speaks until we pull into the parking lot. Shutting off the ignition, Isaac turns to me with a serious look on his face.
This can’t be good.
“Mia, I need to ask you something,” he begins, and I can tell he is struggling with his next words.
“Yeah,” I say, growing nervous myself.
“Well,” he begins as he fidgets with the keys in his hands. “A couple of buddies are going to Vegas next weekend. You know I haven’t gone anywhere since mom and dad…” he trails off, and I know what he is about to ask.
Laying a hand over his, I look at my brother who has given up everything to raise me. He is only twenty-one-years-old, and yet, he was forced to grow up way too quickly. “Isaac, go. Have fun. You deserve it. I will be fine,” I say, with a smile.
“Are you sure? Maybe you can go stay with Grace or something,” he adds.
“Sure, or she can come to stay with me. Either way, I will be fine,” I added.
A look of relief washes over Isaac’s face and I am beyond happy for him. Not only will my brother get some much-needed fun and time away, but that means I will have the entire house to myself all weekend long. I can’t wait to tell Grace and Seth.
With us both feeling happy about our conversation, we head into the coffee shop and begin our day. I am so giddy, I hardly notice when my shift is almost over. I pull out my phone and text Grace to see if she will come to get me.
Me: Hey, you busy?
Grace: Yeah, I am out shopping with my mom. What do you need?
Me: I rode to work with Isaac. My shift is over.
Grace: Sorry, I can come by later.
Me: No worries.
I slump my shoulders and fall into one of the chairs by the windows overlooking the main street. Just great. Now, what am I going to do?
Just as I think I am going to have to suck it up and walk home, my phone beeps.
Seth: I am done with my community service. Want to hang out?
A rush of adrenaline soars through me and a smile is brought to my face. It was like fate knew exactly what I needed right now.
Me: Yes, I am at the coffee shop. Meet me at the back.
Seth: Ok, see you in five minutes
Beyond excited, I jump up and start to rush to the back when Isaac stops me.
“Where are you going?” he asks, eyeing me suspiciously. He is standing at the register taking money from a family of five.
“Grace is coming to get me,” I lie.
I feel terrible being dishonest with Isaac, but he would never go for me hanging out with Seth. Eventually, I will have to ease him into the idea of us being...whatever it is we are, but for right now, I just don’t think he will get it. Until I can explain it, that is.
“Ok, well be home before dark,” he says, before pausing. “Or, midnight. Shit, I can’t remember what my curfew was on Saturday nights,” he says, shaking his head.
“Your curfew was midnight when you were my age, but I will be home before then,” I promise. I run over, place a kiss to his cheek, and then make my way to the back of the shop. I pass through the small kitchen until I reach the back door that leads into a small ally.
Once outside, I hear the engine of Seth’s bike and my heart accelerates into action. I quickly tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and throw on some lip gloss before he rounds the corner and enters the ally.
Slowing to a stop, Seth places a foot on the ground and smirks at me. “You ready to take a ride?” he asks.
How could I say no to that? Honestly, I have never been on a motorcycle before, but I guess now is the best time to try.
I walked over to him and he extends a hand out to me. He helps me on the bike and as I straddle the seat, I can feel the vibrations of the engine under me.
“Hold on,” Seth says, and I happily place my arms around his waist.
As he takes off, I revel in the feel of the wind as it whips through my hair. I thought I would be scared to be on something so dangerous, but instead, I feel free and wild. We drive down the backroads and I know instantly where we are heading. Once we reach the old country road, I smile as I think about enjoying the afternoon alone with Seth.
Parking his bike, Seth helps me off and we make our way to our spot. I love calling it our spot.
We sit in silence for a while and it is nice. Finally, Seth begins to talk. “So, how long can I kidnap you for?” he asks, a low laugh rumbling from his chest.
“All day. Isaac is working at the shop and Grace is out shopping with her mom,” I say.
“What would you have done today if I hadn’t texted you?” he asks.
I think about that question for a moment. “Honestly, I would have gone home and read or painted. I sort of killed my social life after my parents died,” I say.
It still stings saying that, but it is getting easier to talk about now. Maybe I have Seth to think for that.
Seth just looks at me. “Why is that?” he asks.
The question is personal and if it had been anyone else, I would have told them to mind their own business, but with Seth it is different. I feel like I can talk to him about anything.
“I guess I wanted to escape from that life. You know, forget about everything that reminded me of my parents. Isaac and I had both agreed to sell our family home. We couldn’t stand walking past our parent's bedroom door and knowing they weren’t ever coming back. It’s weird though, I kept my mom's car and sometimes I find it comforting to know it is a piece of her that I get to keep,” I said, shrugging. “I know it sounds crazy.”
“No, I understand. When my brother Alex died, I wanted something of his and I guess in a way, I got that,” Seth says, but he doesn’t explain further.
“I guess we have a lot in common,” I say.
“Yeah, I guess we do. So, can I see your art sometime? I mean, other than what you have done in art club?”
Feeling giddy, I grin. “Sure. In fact, next weekend Isaac is going to Vegas with some of his friends. I will have the house to myself so you could come over then,” I say, my breath shaking from nerves.
What if he says no?
“That sounds good. Are you saying I will get you all alone for the weekend?” he asks, and I don’t miss the way he licks his lips and how his eyes sweep over every inch of my body.
“If that’s what you want,” I say, my eyes boring into his.
“That’s exactly what I want,” he says.
Leaning in closer, Seth moves a strand of hair away from my face. His hands feel so warm against my cheek and I close my eyes briefly, memorizing this feeling. “God, you are so beautiful,” Seth sighs.
I looked down, embarrassed by his sentiment.
“Don’t do that,” Seth says, as he takes his hand and forces me to look up at him. “You are gorgeous and sexy as hell. You have no idea how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you,” he says, his voice almost a growl.
“Why?” I ask, and again, I am mortified by my word vomit.
“Why? Because you are too special to be some fast lay. You deserve someone to show you how amazing you are. To treat you like the lady you are,” he adds.
If I didn’t already feel crazy about this guy, I definitely did now.
“No one has ever wanted me like that,” I reply.
Seth laughs and he lets his head fall back. I watch as his dark hair gleams in the afternoon sunlight and I can’t help but notice how he looks like a dark angel.
“I doubt that. You just didn’t notice. Or, that brother of yours scared them off,” he says with a smirk.
He is probably right. Isaac never liked any of my boyfriend’s and while we were in school together, most guys stayed away from me.
“I had boyfriends, just none of them ever said things like that to me,” I said, feeling like a child at the moment.
“Not even when you…” his words trailed off, but I shake my head before he could finish. “Wait, are you a virgin?” he asks.
I simply nod. If the world would just open up right now and suck me into oblivion I would be forever grateful. How immature I must look to him right now. I bet Seth has been with more girls than I could count.
“I know what you must be thinking,” I say, realizing that this thing between me and Seth is probably done. I mean, what would a guy like him want with some little virgin like me?
Seth glares at me and I can feel the heat rising all over. “You have no idea what I am thinking right now. Trust me,” he begins. “Knowing that you are a virgin makes you so much sexier to me. Knowing that another guy hasn’t explored certain parts of your body makes me want you that much more,” he says.
I shudder and can’t help but bite my lip as he talks. Seth has no idea the effect he is having on me and I can’t seem to control myself. I lunge forward and wrap my arms around his neck, bringing my lips down onto his.
Seth grabs me and pulls me close to his chest as we fall back onto the grass. Our hands and mouths begin exploring one another as our animal needs take control. Never have I wanted someone to touch me and hold me the way I want Seth too. He is gentle as his hands roam below my waist. I can feel the hardness of his erection through his jeans as he takes a hand and explores the lower region of my body.
I scream out with pleasure as he makes me feel more like a woman than I ever have before in my life. We don’t take it too far, but Seth has just pushed my boundaries and right now, we are connected.
We make out and touch and kiss one another for hours. When the sun begins to settle in the evening sky, we make our way back to Seth’s bike.
I go home that night feeling like a totally different person and I have Seth to thank for that.
16
Seth
“Hey man, did you hear what I said?” Brody calls to me, but I barely hear him above my music.
It’s Sunday afternoon and I have been working tirelessly on a custom design for one of his cars. He plans to race this next weekend and needs the design done soon. I love that my friends rely on me for working on their cars. It also helps that they pay good money for my work, too.
Plus, Mia and I had worked with our art club on a mural for a local building downtown early this morning. Our teacher, and art club sponsor, had signed us all up as part of our group project. Even though I had acted like I hated being there, I secretly enjoyed it. I mean, I got to help create a masterpiece that everyone can see while driving through Hollow Cove. Only, I would never admit it to anyone. I did, however, see Mia sneaking smiles at me while we all worked. I knew she was well aware that I was enjoying creating the magical forest our teacher had designed for us to paint. It was the one thing in this world I was truly good at, but again, I had to keep up appearances. So, I kept a scowl on my face and grunted whenever someone got close to me while we worked. But on the inside, I was fucking jumping for joy.
“No,” I grunt out.
I am adding the finishing touches to the design and I like to work alone, something Brody knows, but tends to ignore. I had created a large, purple dragon on the hood of his black Camaro. Red and orange flames shoot out of its mouth and circle around the body. It’s bad-ass and will look killer racing through the strip.
“I said, a couple of the guys at the club were asking about you. They want you to do a few custom designs on their bikes,” he says.
I perk up at this. Doing work for the Raven’s Boys Motorcycle Club could be great money and a great opportunity to get me one step closer to being an actual member.
“Yeah, tell them I can meet them anytime,” I say, trying not to sound as eager as I am.
Brody nods and then stuffs his hands in his jean pockets. “I will. So, heard from Britley lately?” he asks.
Britley and anything to do with my dead brother, is a sore subject and Brody kno
ws it. If he were anyone else, I would punch him right in the mouth, but Brody means well.
“Nope, and I like it that way. I expect her to just one day drop the baby off and never see her again,” I say. It’s sad, but it’s true.
“You are probably right. I can’t believe your brother didn’t see right through her act,” he says, shaking his head. “Anyway, have you told Mia about Britley yet?” Brody asks.
I had slipped up and told Brody about hanging out with Mia. It wasn’t like I meant to do it or anything, but he saw past my cheesy grin and happy attitude. He definitely could tell something was up.
I stopped working and looked up at him. “No, and I don’t know if I can. I mean, Mia is special. She deserves someone better than me and the shit storm I am about to be going through, but I just can’t stay away from her,” I said.
It pissed me off to no end that I cared so much for Mia, but couldn't be honest with her. I knew that once she discovered my situation with Britley, she would never want anything to do with me again. I should let her go now before it gets any more serious, but I just can’t leave her alone.
17
Mia
Seth didn’t make it to Art Club this week.
I didn’t want to bother him, but I was really curious about why he skipped out, especially if he was supposed to be here. Grace and I painted our murals and neither one of us mentioned the missing figure in the room.
After Art Club, I spent the rest of the school day looking for Seth, but he never made an appearance. Grace had said she had seen him once going to class, but somehow he had managed to evade me all day.