by Amy DeMeritt
“So, do you use cucumbers for that?”
She scoffs and hits my stomach again. “Stop it. But get some of those too.”
“Little freak.”
“They’re for eating!”
“You can still eat them after using them for…”
With a laugh, she covers my mouth, and says, “Stop it.”
I nibble her finger, and she pulls her hand back with a tiny surprised yelp.
“Ok, what else do you want to eat?”
“You should probably get chips. There’s only one bag left in there. Oh, and sodas.”
It takes us another ten minutes to add all of the necessary side dishes, condiments, and drinks to the cart to be able to throw a decent barbeque. After the order is placed and I have an estimated delivery time, I pull my phone out to send some invites.
“Who are you inviting?”
“People.”
“Well, obviously.”
“Is there someone particular you would like me to invite?” She nervously bites her bottom lip and blushes, which causes my interest to pique. “You like someone. Who is it? Is it Jessy from the club?”
“Well, I don’t know. Is that dumb?”
“Are you seriously asking me that knowing how many women I fuck with?”
“How many women are you messing around with right now?”
“Oh, damn, let me think.” I lean my head back and try to think of who I have had sex with more than once in the past few months. “I think just under twenty.”
“Damn, that’s a lot.”
“So, do you want me to invite Jessy?”
“Wait, have you slept with her?”
“No, and I don’t have her number either. I’ll have to ask one of the other girls from the club to invite her. Damn, that could be fun. I can’t just invite one of them. I’ll have to invite them all. I wonder if they would be up for an orgy. It’s been awhile since I’ve had one of those. This barbeque is getting better by the minute.”
“Wait, are you really going to skulk off to have some giant sex party and leave me alone with all of your friends?”
“You’ll be fine. Especially if Jessy comes.”
I send a text to the five girls from Stilts that I have messed around with, asking if they want to come over. I also ask Georgia if she knows Jessy’s number and let her know I’m asking on Carrie’s behalf.
Georgia: Hey, baby. I can make it. Let me text Jessy and see if she’s ok with me passing her number along. Am I going to get some naked time with you?
Me: Definitely. I invited a few of your colleagues as well. Any interest in a private party with all of us?
Georgia: You are so bad. As long as you fuck me, I’m game.
Me: Great. I’ll see you soon.
Georgia: Jessy is going to text you now.
Jessy: Hey, this is Jessy. Georgia told me to text you about a barbeque.
Me: Do you remember Carrie?
Jessy: I do.
Me: She would really like it if you could come hang out with us today.
Jessy: Don’t ask her – I want you to answer this. What do you think she wants from me?
Me: Honestly, I don’t know, and I don’t think she completely knows that yet. She had a very sheltered life. All of this is very new to her.
Jessy: Basically, you’re saying I’m an experiment for her and I could get hurt if I get attached?
Me: Probably.
Jessy: That’s very risky. It would be less risky for me to just sleep with you.
Me: True. You know exactly what you’re going to get with me. Are you a relationship person?
Jessy: Yes.
Me: Well, in my opinion, all relationships are an experiment and a risk with the potential to get hurt, so I don’t see the difference in giving Carrie a chance.
Jessy: That’s a good point.
Me: Do you like her?
Jessy: I don’t know anything about her, but she’s hot and her shyness is adorable. Ok, I’ll be there.
Me: See you soon.
“Jessy will be here.”
“Really? And she knows I want her here, and not you?”
I laugh and nod. “Yeah, she’s coming here to see you and to see if you two could, you know, be an item, or whatever you kids call it these days.”
“A couple would be more generationally appropriate, Grandma.”
“Ok, kid.”
“Thank you.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“So, how many of the people you invited are you messing around with?”
“Most of them.”
“Are they really ok with hanging out together? Don’t any of them get jealous?”
“No, why should they? All of them know what I’m about and I have never given anyone special treatment or played favorites or whatever. I’m like a massage therapist that women don’t have to pay for. When they need to feel good, they come to me and they leave feeling very satisfied. There’s no drama, no need to put on a front, and they don’t have to meet any expectations. It’s just about pure pleasure and satisfaction.”
“Ok, stop making that sound so appealing.”
I laugh and shake my head as I stand up. “You’re a relationship kind of person and there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe Jessy can be that person for you.”
She stands up and follows me to the kitchen so I can get a beer.
“I’ve never been with a girl before. I kissed a girl on a dare in high school, but that’s it.”
I take a swig of beer as I hold one out to her, and she leans against the counter to face me.
“I think Jessy knows that. Just go at your speed. Don’t feel like you need to prove anything.”
“What if we get to that point, and I just freeze up, or I do it so badly that she just never wants to see me again?”
“Then we’ll blacklist you from ever getting between a woman’s legs again.” She gives me a sad look and her eyes tear up. “Oh, shit, Carrie, I’m just teasing you. Don’t do that.”
She looks down and her bottom lip trembles with emotion. I exhale hard and set my beer down to wrap her in a hug. She puts her beer down and grips the back of my shoulders as she lays her head on my chest. She sniffles and tightens her arms around me.
“I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“Because, I’m so confused.”
“About what?”
“Everything. I was raised to think all of this is wrong – strip clubs, being gay, and having sex before marriage. I was even taught that sex just for pleasure, without the intent to procreate, is wrong.”
“If you can ignore what you’ve been taught, what do you feel is right and wrong?”
“I don’t know. I had a lot of fun the other night. And I have feelings and thoughts that I just can’t turn off. But just because I enjoy something, does that really make it ok?”
“I can’t tell you what to believe. I can tell you what I believe, but that doesn’t mean I’m correct. I have no idea if there is a god, multiple gods, a heaven and hell, or if we’re just dust after we die. All I know is this is the life I’m living right now, and I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can. Whatever happens when I die, I’ll deal with it then, if there is something to deal with.”
“I just want to be happy. I’ve never been more confused since I moved here, but I’ve also never been happier. I was always so miserable back home. I felt like I had to scrutinize every thought and action and then berate myself for not staying in the lines. I cried for weeks after having sex for the first time because I thought I was going to hell.”
“I’m sorry, Carrie. Did you at least enjoy your sexual experiences?”
“Not the first time. It was awkward and painful. The second guy was in college. That was better, but just ok. What I experienced with Jessy was better. Does that mean I’m gay?”
“No, it just means you had someone who knew how to touch you. Are you attracted to men? Meaning, do you get aroused or have sexual thoughts when you see an attractive
man?”
“Sometimes.”
“What about with women?”
“The same.”
“Then you might be bisexual, but you really don’t need to worry about labeling yourself. If you want to live for happiness, then just do what you think will make you happy. Just be yourself.”
“How do I do that? How do I know who I am?”
“Well, for starters, you have to stop judging yourself and stop allowing other people to judge you.”
She lifts her head off of my chest and looks in my eyes, but she doesn’t say anything. Her eyes scan down to my lips, and she lifts up to kiss me, but I shake my head.
“Carrie, you don’t want to do that. I’m definitely not what you want. Trust me.”
“Why don’t you like me?”
“I never said I don’t like you.”
“You said you would never have sex with me, even if I wasn’t living here. You have sex with random women all the time. Why don’t I make the cut?”
I release her to lean against the counter across from her, then I take a few sips of beer while I try to think of how to answer her.
“Do you remember the day we met at Spoons?”
“Yes. You looked at me like you were undressing me and imagining doing God knows what to me.”
“Then what happened?”
“Jill suggested you rent a room out to me. Then you gave me your business card with your address.”
“What did you do when Jill made the offer on my behalf?”
“I don’t remember.”
“You looked at me like I was going to rape you or kill you or both. Then after I gave you the business card, you looked at me like I couldn’t possibly be smart enough or competent enough to have a computer software company.”
“So, that’s why you said you would never sleep with me? It has nothing to do with how I look?”
“That’s correct.”
“But, I apologized for all of that.”
“I know.”
“But you still don’t want to sleep with me?”
“Why does what I want matter to you so much?”
“Because if you won’t sleep with me, why would anyone else want to sleep with me?”
“You have already had sex with two people. And in case you’re not aware, that lap dance Jessy gave you is not typical in a nice club like that. She did that because she wanted to. She likes you. She’s coming to this barbeque just for you.”
Carrie walks forward and presses her body against mine as she wraps her arms around my back and lays her head on my chest.
“What are you doing?”
“I just need a hug. Hug me back.” I set my beer down and return her embrace. She releases a sigh and tightens her arms. “You give good hugs. I feel safe when you hold me.”
“Carrie, do you talk to your family?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“My parents think yoga is of the devil.”
I laugh hard and she lifts her head with a sad smile. “How the hell can they think that? Just because of the positions?”
“That and because yoga traditionally is a kind of religion, and it’s engrained in modern Hinduism and Buddhism. American yoga instruction pretty much steers clear of the religious aspects and just teaches it as exercise, meditation, and overall health and wellbeing.”
“I didn’t know that. How long has it been since you talked to your parents?”
“Since I moved here. So, almost a month. I tried calling a couple of days ago, but my mom hung up on me as soon as I said hello.”
“I’m sorry. I actually have a lot more respect for you now. And I think you’re going to do great at running your own studio.”
She smiles as her eyes tear up again. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
She lays her head on my chest again and squeezes me really tight, causing me to release an involuntary coughing groan, which makes her laugh.
“Jack, thank you, for everything.”
“You’re welcome.”
I start to release her, but she tightens her arms again, and quietly says, “No, don’t let go.”
I hold her for a while in silence, and it’s not till Janae walks in looking confused and asks what’s going on that Carrie finally releases me.
“Oh, uh, Jack was just comforting me about some stuff. Ok, I’m going to go get ready for the party.”
Carrie quickly walks out of the kitchen to go upstairs, and I take Janae’s hand, saying, “I need to get a shower. Come keep me company.”
She waits till we’re in the bathroom and I’m stripping down before she asks, “What was that about?”
“Well, Carrie was even more sheltered than we thought. The girl is completely confused.”
I walk to the shower, with Janae following to sit on the stone wall of the jacuzzi. While I wash my hair and body, I tell her about my conversation with Carrie about Jessy, her sexuality, and her parents.
“She tried to kiss you?”
“Yeah, but I think it was just her need to feel cared for since she feels lost and abandoned by her family. I think she’s just lonely.”
“You better be careful with her. I think she’s getting attached to you.”
I smile and walk forward, which makes Janae’s angered expression soften into an affectionate and loving look. I kiss her lips, and she gives my nipples a tight pinch.
“You damn tease.”
“How many of your hoes did you invite to this?”
“Several. Would you like me to behave today?”
“You would do that for me?”
“For you, yes. I had a big orgy planned with the dancers from Stilts, but if you want me to postpone that, I can.”
“I want you to behave today. I had a hard day at the bakery so I just want to be with you.”
I wrap my arms around the back of her neck, and she parts her thighs so I can stand between them. She wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me in close to lay on my upper stomach.
“What happened today?”
“My favorite mixer broke.”
“Your grandmother’s old mixer?”
“Yes.”
“I’m so sorry, babe. Can we have it repaired?”
“I don’t think so. The whole top of the machine cracked. I don’t understand it.”
“Please let me call an expert to see if it can be repaired.”
“Ok. Jack, I love you.”
“I love you too. Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
“Yes, but you have to behave because I’m too vulnerable right now. I might not be strong enough to resist you if you’re naughty.”
“You know I will. I love you too fucking much to tempt you into something you’d regret.”
She lifts her head with a beautiful loving smile and kisses my lips. “I want you to take me to dinner tomorrow night to that new Italian restaurant.”
“You got it, babe.”
“Thanks. Now, finish getting ready. I can’t look at you like that anymore.”
“Ok, thanks for keeping me company.”
Chapter Eleven
Lindsay rushes to get dressed and checks her hair and makeup in the mirror.
“Ok, I have to run. Thanks for letting me come over so early.”
I stand up from my black velvet clam chair wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and a sports bra. I hold her short-heeled closed toe shoes up for her to take, and she laughs a little in a frantic way as she accepts the shoes.
“Oh, right, I guess I’ll need those.”
“Hey, come here.”
I tug on the front of her blouse, pulling her in close to me. She drops the shoes and grabs the sides of my face, engaging me an intense kiss. She releases a sound of pleasure and runs her hands down my back to grip my ass hard.
Against my lips, she says, “God, I wish I could play hooky from school today to just be with you.”
Without allowing me to respond, sh
e thrusts her tongue back inside my mouth. After a few minutes, she suddenly drops to her knees, pulling my pants down, and starts going down on me, hard and fast.
Her hands alternate between squeezing my ass, rubbing up and down my abs, and scraping her nails down the backs of my thighs. As I cum, I tremble a few times and grip the back of her head. She moans against me, gives me a few kisses on my hips and thighs, and then stands up.
“I guess I better go before I’m late. Unless, maybe, you want me to stay?”
“It’s very tempting, but I promised my tenant I would help her work on writing her business plan today. She needs a good business plan to be able to secure the loans she needs for her yoga studio. You can come back after school though.”
“I can’t. I’m having an early dinner with my parents tonight for their anniversary. How about tomorrow night?”
“I have plans tomorrow night.”
She releases a defeated pouty whimper as she rests her head on my shoulder and digs her fingers into my back, holding me really tight.
“Cheer up, beautiful. I’m free the night after.”
“Really?” She lifts her head with a relieved smile, which makes me release a small laugh. I caress her cheek and give her a soft kiss. “Yeah, really. I’ll see you at, say, six o’clock?”
“Perfect. Thank you again for this morning. I better go so I’m not late.”
“Ok, please don’t rush.”
“I won’t. I’ll talk to you later.”
“I’ll walk you out.”
Lindsay quickly puts her shoes on, grabs her purse, and takes my hand. I walk her out of my suite, and as we’re about to pass the kitchen, I stop, and jerk a thumb towards it.
“Did you eat breakfast?”
“No, not yet. I’ll get a granola bar or something from the vending machine.”
“That’s not breakfast. Hang on.”
I put a small frying pan on the stove, and while it heats, I cut open a thick English muffin and pop it in the toaster. I whisk up two eggs, pour them into the buttered pan, and then grab some shredded cheddar cheese from the fridge. As the muffin pops, I top half of it with cheese, and then flip the little disk of fluffy scrambled egg.
I grab a travel size bottle of orange juice from the fridge, then slide the egg onto the sandwich. I wrap it in aluminum foil to keep it warm, and then toss the sandwich in a bag.
“That was impressive. You had that done in only four minutes.”